What means the house built a tree planted. Build a house, plant a tree, give birth to a son

There were two teenagers in one small village.

When the children were still small, her mother died, and now - and father. Like this

And two brothers remained, two alone sirotinushki. And they didn't have

No one in the world.

Senior of the brothers, who turned sixteen, said the younger, years

Thirteen: "Listen to Brother. We remained alone without mother and father. So nothing

Wisely they did not have time to teach us. Come on, I will go to people, learn

Wisdom, so that we know how to live, then go further. And you still stay at home and

Wait for me".

"Good - answered younger brother "Just promise me to return home rather."

They said goodbye and the older brother left.

There were days ... months ... years. And from the older brother there was no news. It

Everyone walked from one village to another. From one city to another, learning

Wisdom in humans. So over time, he became a lonely old sage. And went

From the village of the village no longer learning from people, but teaching them. His people and

Called sage. Somehow the old sage went on the road, which led him to

Native settlement.

"Oh, my brother live and where is he now?! - thought the sage - I wandered so much

On the ground, which did not notice, as time quickly flew down, "and with these thoughts

He approached K. rodium house. Knocked on the gate, with impatience

Waiting for the owners. Someone quick steps approached the gate and opened it. This was

The gray-haired man, in the features of which the wanderer immediately recognized his brother. They are

Joyful embraced each other and together entered the courtyard.

"Sit brother to the bench. In the shade of this apple tree you can relax. Pope fresh

Drives, just from the well. Take fruit from our garden. Now I say

Wife that before us dear guests pleased, and she will cook something to us

Tasty .... "

Suddenly, with a cheerful laughter, two amazing creatures ran out of the house: boy

And the girl, five years old - six outgrowth. They argued about something and came running to her grandfather,

So that he allowed their dispute. "She, guys do not care. What you have there

It happened? ... here it came to us an expensive guest. Come closer

Meet. "The children approached the safe distance and started

Consider a stranger grandfather. "This is my brother about which I have a lot of you

Told. Here he finally returned home to teach me wisdom

Life, "said the grandfather. The children looked at him from admiration.

They waited when this new grandfather will finally teach their native

Grandfather every wisdom of life. The girl began to rush it: "Well, come on,

Faster telling what major wisdom you learned. "

And the old sage began his story: "People say that a person must

Build a house, plant a tree and give birth to a son ... And to perform this

Superbates, the universe every person sends his native half. To

To find out, you just need to open your heart. And listen only to your heart. AND

You will feel amazing, unearthly feeling - love. And this means that

You found your half, your goddess. And you want to create for your beloved

Paradise love. You will start building a house and put the garden with your own hands. BUT

She will help you in everything. Then you will have children - the fruits of your love

And you will raise them with love and wisdom. All your love and wisdom

Multiplying in them. Then the grandchildren appear and you will love them more

Wisdom. And when you hurt life, joyful and peaceful returns to

Heavenly abode, home.

"Oh, what kind of wise you became, my brother. And why so long did not return home?

I waited so long for you. I wanted to know how to live in wisdom. But I

I am glad that we are together again. "

But then the boy intervened in the conversation. "Nothing new we are from you, sage, not

Heard. What you told us now, our grandfather knows for a long time, and

We even know. We are on this wisdom and live. "

I looked at the sage on children, then on my brother and answered: "And you know, brother. BUT

Boy is right. While I walked around the world and learned to the wisdom of life in other people's

People, you got this wisdom from God and embodied it. And that mine

Words? ... words without deeds - dead ... ".

Review of the book Meg Jay. Important years. Why not to postpone life for later. M.: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber. 2015.

Dr. Science Meg Jay is a clinical psychologist, a practitioner of the University of California in Berkeley, many years studies the problems of young people aged from twenty to thirty years. On the pages of the new book, the author disassembles and analyzes touching stories His students and patients. This book advised me to read the daughter (she is 25 years old - the most middle important years). I became interested in a novelty.

Prologue, Preface and Introduction.Introduction, in my opinion, is long. Most young (author addressed to them) just do not overcome this "closed door": for thirty-six pages, the main idea is repeated many times. So the child is a counterpart nasty semolina, convincing that it is useful. In master class classes literary creativity My teacher B.T. Evseev (very fashionable modern writer) often repeats: "In modern prose There is an active shift in the interest of the reader from the long and tedious novel to the short and tank, the story. The shorter the story (of course, good) more freedom For rapid reader. He, as it were, becomes co-author of the storyteller. " Time U. modern youth not enough to long science books Read, and still with notations. Will not! It's a pity!

Our youth is 20-30 years old, unlike American peers, rarely visits psychotherapy sessions. We have not been made - another mentality, other culture and upbringing. Our young solve this kind of problem alone. Sometimes they are advised to friends, less often with parents. Some turn to the book (but finding needed not easy, and reader activity for last years sharply decreased). So remain unresolved social problems, pulling and unemployment, and drug addiction, and a bunch of other disgusts.

The format of this book - conversations with a psychologist - may not please our audience. Important thoughts and advice would be good to file shorter and in another form approximate to our realities. For example, as stories or stories from the life of 20-30-year-olds with comments, well, say, adult girlfriend, older sister or brother. I offered such a topic for discussion in the "discourse". Our authors will gladly share stories from life. And together we will help the characters in a difficult situation.

The book consists of three pieces, Each is divided by chapters. The first part I will figure out more.

Part one. Work

Chapter first. Capital identity.

Capital identity is a combination of personal assets, the stock of those individual resources that we accumulate over time. These are our investments in ourselves. Some aspects of identity capital are displayed in our resume - it may be education, work experience ... others are more personal character - Generic roots, as we solve problems, as we say and how they look. Capital identity is how we create ourselves: step by step, gradually. And his most important element is that we bring to the market adult life. This is the currency for which we, figuratively speaking, "buy" work, relationships and everything that seek. A person must continuously replenish the "cherished well", from which he will be able to get a drink of pure lively moisture throughout his life. And the decade between the twenty and thirty years is the period of life when the "well" is filled very actively. Everything should work for the future: contacts, experience, new knowledge (learn foreign language, learn to swim, dance, draw, see distant countries). In the future, the accumulated mainly consumes (and is replenished less frequent).

Sometimes young people are valid by freedom, they are pleased with random work (let the uninteresting, boring, but leaving a lot of free time for t. A funny life is to sleep, meet with friends, just enjoying what the real real adult life has come). But real life It may not come, and the cruel validity will emit mercilessly on the side of life, to numerous losers. Yes, and what gives such homing freedom? Money random work does not particularly bring it, self-development slows down (and sometimes a young man and degrades at all in the unsuitable company). Discipline is lost, loss skills. Do not follow external species, leaving for hours on the Internet with chips and a bottle of beer. And at this time, others actively accumulate their "capital of identity", confidently moving forward, to his dream. They will take best places in of the future life: will be managers of companies, successful creative personalities. "If after receiving a university diploma in a person in a summary, incomprehensible records of work in the sphere retail Or in a cafe, it suggests his degradation. Such a genus can negatively affect not only the summary, but also throughout. "

Chapter Second. Weak bonds.Close circle of communication with close friends has rolossover. It forms t. N. strong connections connecting people with similar interests life principles. Friends are always ready to help in difficult moment. But weak ties are equally important, between people unfamiliar. It can be colleagues or neighbors, old friends with whom we communicate with the case of the case. "When we share with them ideas about the career or thoughts of love, we have to formulate everything much more clearly. So weak bonds are activated, and sometimes even forcing a thoughtful development and change process. Weak bonds resemble the bridge, the end of which is not visible, and therefore it is not known where it can lead. "

Thus, expanding the circle of communication, we discover new opportunities and career, and in personal relationships.

Another important thought: Do not be afraid to establish and use useful links. The author claims that "... the establishment of useful ties, the use of contacts and other similar actions is quite normal. Personally, it never bothered me, but I have friends who are very strained about the fact that their relatives helped them find a job. I, an employee of one of three best companies In the industry, I know only one person who really got a job, no one knows in the company. All the others got here on acquaintance. "

For our youth, proud and ambitious, a big problem - seek help in finding work to relatives, unfamiliar influential people. So sit for hours on HEADHUNTER, and then you begin by dubious companies. First - interviews, then - probation (It is often used by fraudsters and unscrupulous employers), and as a result - disappointment spent inusty forces. And again job search. Such a runway on a closed circle often leads to loss of interest in every work and depression. The precious time is missed, it is difficult, and sometimes it is impossible to fill it at all. It is important to understand: when you are hired on the recommendation - this does not mean that someone has already done for you. You just helped get up on the first step. And how you show yourself, is extremely your personal merit. And she will appreciate the colleagues and bosses, without remembering the small service provided by the influential acquaintance. Well, if you could not show ourselves, then "no ties will help you make a leg of a little, the soul is big, and the heart is fair," as the king spoke in the film "Cinderella" about the evil incident-stepmother, which has been out of the kingdom without looking at her "big connections".

"Studies show that in adulthood network social contacts narrows because the career and family life Make people more busy. That is why, even if we often change the work, we move from place to place, live with different people and spend a lot of time at parties - this is the most suitable time To establish useful ties. Weak ties are contacts with people who will help you improve your life right now (and will do it again and again in the coming years), unless you take the courage to figure out what you really want. "

CHAPTER THREE. Unconscious known.Author on the example of history young man Ian claims that he has selected in his career early, they are happier than those who trample on the spot. IEN (and many of his peers) is in the middle of the ocean opportunities. All the ways are open, but he does not know where to sail. The guy with university education works as a waiter in a cafe. In the company of his colleagues, it was not accepted "to endure the brain" reasoning about high goals - the day passed, and okay. And, moreover, it is not customary to take responsibility for anything. "When Ian complained to parents about his aimless wandering in the ocean of opportunities, he heard another lie. His father and mother said: "You are the best! The whole world of your feet! " They assured him that he could do what only wishes. They did not understand that such uncertain support does not bring to his son any benefit. Lies only takes to the side, removes from the right path.

Ian, finally realized that, continuing to "swim downstream", it is unlikely to achieve his goal (become a computer artist). He changes the work, and the solution is not easy for him: it is difficult to recognize the selection error and return to the starting point.

Chapter fourth. In Facebook, everything should look beautiful.

"- I graduated from college almost two years ago. Almost fifteen years I took myself as a desire for perfection and thought that new lifewhich will start after graduation, allow me to get rid of these flour. Unfortunately, endless parties and the opportunity to do everything that I want, it was not so fabulous as I expected, "it is divided with the author of the waist. - After a few months of life in San Francisco, I started experiencing loneliness and depression. Most of my friends went around the country. The only close friend with which we lived together, suddenly turned away from me. I browse all day later in the advertisement newspapers and go to gym. I have such a feeling that I'm about to break. I can not sleep. I'm crying all the time. My mother believes that I need to be treated. "

The reason for such torment of the girl, oddly enough, became Facebook, where the waist peers lay out photos and stories about their successes in his career and personal life.

The desire to comply with high standards and be "no worse than others" turns life into a nightmare, leads to depression and loss of the desired benchmarks. Better rivalry is among the participants of the social network.

"Most young people after twenty are smart enough to not compare their lives with what they see in celebrity microblogs. However, they still perceive the images and posts in Facebook as something real. They do not understand that most people simply hide their problems. Such self-deception makes users social networks Constantly compare your own social status With some higher standards. As a result, they are not so impeccable life looks failed against the background of that wonderful lifewho allegedly live the rest. "

Chapter Fifth. Life to order. To understand your desires, compare them with the possibilities and, as a result, make your own scenario of life - this is the task to be solved by 20-30-year-olds.

The hero of this chapter gathered a bike for himself and proud of the result. He tells with enthusiasm, as from standard nodes and parts it turned out a unique, only personal unit. Individual project of the house, wardrobe to order, personal computer ... Modern man She tries to get away from standards and templates, making life comfortable and comfortable, fully responding to his interests. The same happens with life.

Career? The one that can connect talents, interests, the ability to realize themselves. And at the same time bring financial welfaresufficient to ensure a decent life for yourself and its future children, and will not make a might of wages before paying.

To do this, you need to work hard on the script own Life And do not postpone this important task for later. And, more importantly and difficult, calmly, step by step, move along the selected path.

"Choose a career or get good work - This is not the end, but only the beginning. And then a lot of learning to learn and do. "

Part two. Love

"Most important decisionWhich takes each of us - with whom we are married. However, there are no courses on choosing a satellite. "

Nowadays, young people are in no hurry to marry. They enjoy freedom, having fun with friends and sweethearts and do not want to link themselves commitments, sometimes perceiving a joint accommodation as a test for the prospects for marriage, as a trial of adult life together. However, statistics argue that the pairs that lived together before marriage are subsequently less than happy and the percentage of divorces among them is much higher. Sociologists call this phenomenon "cohabitation effect." Transition from dating to joint nights and then to permanent accommodation It may be "sliding along a dangerous slope." There is no discussion on this path, and, as a result, there is no responsibility for each other. Requirements for the roommate are much lower than to the spouse. As a rule, the disadvantages of the partner are not commemorated before marriage. And if such relationships end with marriage, it is difficult to overcome the barrier between the carefreeship of living together before and huge responsibility after its conclusion.

20-30 years old - it's time to think about choosing a partner and not be content with small, spending time on nothing meaningful relations. You should not wait for thirty years to become more demanding in your choice. It is necessary to show intelligibility while you are still young.

All future life - Health, leisure, work, money, raising children, pension and even death depends on this choice. IN recent decades Increased average age marriage. However, late marriage does not guarantee the strength of the Union. Adults have established habits and qualities formed. They are harder to adapt to each other. And the links without obligations are sometimes devastating, forming bad habits and destroying faith in true love.

"A lot can change around us, but we begin and end our lives with your family" (the author quotes the writer Anthony Brandt). A happy family Gives a person a sense of confidence, security, stability. Together it is easier to cope with difficulties.

Part of the third. Mind and body

In the final part of the book, these medical and psychological studiesindicating that the human brain at 20-30 years old continues to form. And these are new opportunities for self-development, learning. At this age it is easy to manage circumstances and change yourself.

Here is such a necessary and timely book, who made me think about many things. Many pages I re-read several times and, undoubtedly, I will be among the first buyers of the publication - such a book should be kept as a guide for a deep study. And just as an experienced good friendto which at any time you can seek help and get useful advice. After all, the problems of young in different countries Very similar.

So, 3 things that should do a real man. Previously, a man had to build a house. What was meant by this? In fact, the house, then there was an opportunity to protect himself from the cold and attacks of enemies. After all, the house can be called the castle, fortified and protected from all external enemies. Really strong and good house Previously, I was very much appreciated, because than the house was the house, the person got more opportunities to protect themselves from various weather cataclysms and protects against ill-wishers. In addition, not every person could afford to build a real housing, and not Hibaru, who will fall apart from the light blow of the wind. That is why men always tried to build real houseto get a good bride. After all, at all times, the parents tried to give the daughter to marry the most reliable young man. A strong house was the first proof of his reliability. This meant that the man was able to accumulate funds independently and personally erect his home, which also proved his physical force.

What does the strong and big mansion speak modern world. Well, probably, that a man has financial opportunities to acquire it or hire workers for construction. Now few people will build a house personally. And, if it happens, then it is most likely to say that a person does not have enough money to pay the professional brigade of builders. The construction of the house itself will take more than one year and therefore, in the modern world, a man should rather not build a house, but acquire a presentable dwelling. It is not necessary, there must be a cottage or mansion. Also, as an "home" there is a beautiful spacious apartment in a good area of \u200b\u200bthe city. Probably, the concept of the house, in fact, was still not too much changed from the past times. The bride's parents still cares the living space of the future son-in-law. Only now they are not worried not to raids barbarians and cold winters, and prospects to live in one apartment with young, which, of course, I don't want to rent an apartment at all, which will be not so cheap, which will suffer from the future family budget of their daughter . So, it can be concluded that the first thing that a modern man should make is to get a living space. And let it be a gift, an inheritance or honestly earned apartment, the main thing is that the guy has, where to live with the future wife.

The second is to plant a tree. What was meant by this sometime? Tree, this is, first of all, give birth. And if there is a harvest, it means that in the winter the family will not be hungry. Then, under the planting of the tree, they had in mind that the young man has its lands on which he can and knows how to grow bread, vegetables and fruits. It is no secret that agriculture had previously been one of the main professions. If a man was a good agriculture, he had food in the house, besides, many products went for sale. For the reversed money, the guy had the opportunity to buy clothes, homemade utensils and firewood for the winter, so as not to blame in a cold house.

Then it turns out that for a modern man, put a tree - it means to get a good job. Now, when you can buy almost everything, the main currency was not bread, but money. Yes, and requests modern people An order of magnitude higher than their ancestors. Therefore, in order to live in the modern world, it is necessary to have enough money, which, as you know, and brings a promising high-paying job. That is why modern guys should not just learn how to handle their land plot well. They need to possess high intelligence and get in high school a good educationwith which you can find suitable work. Also, in order to have high earnings. It is necessary to be ambitious and bold, be able to find non-standard solutions And never give up. So, to some extent, modern men are more difficult to fulfill the second rule.

Well, the third is to grow a son. Probably, this is the only thing that will never change. Everyone wants to continue his genus, see in his children top Qualitieswhich he laid them from infancy. Of course, times are changing, and methods of education are also becoming somewhat different, but, nevertheless, one is at the heart of a worthy member of society from their child. This is exactly what every real man is trying to make. He will never leave his offspring and will not try to see from obligations. Real man I. real Father will raise your child and never say that he simply does not have time. Such men always managed to build houses and raise trees, but, at the same time, their children never remained without male education. Education in such men is strict and fair, and they undoubtedly love their children very much. For the sake of the child, such guys build the most warm and cozy house and grow the most tall tree. They make everything they can and even try to accomplish the impossible.

So, 3 things to make a real man in the modern world are to get a good living space, have a highly paid job and to do everything so that his children do not need love, care and proper upbringing. If a man is able to achieve this - he will be able to fully realize in life. But, in fact, to fulfill these three rules is not so easy. It is necessary to apply a lot of effort. Therefore, it is not surprising that not all men achieve such results, and therefore self-realization. But, if your boyfriend has a good home or apartment, work that brings him not only high income, but also joy, and, in addition, he loves children very much and is ready to invest in them the whole soul and all finance means there is really real The man who is worthy of you.