What makes the seventh prisoner a mystery. Does the question about two chairs carry some deep meaning, or just a prison riddle
A collection of prison riddles which are asked to a newcomer to the cell. In certain places, based on your answer, your further fate may happen. Usually, such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what will apply to you based on answers. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.
1. TWO CHAIRS (CLASSIC):
There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other x * and other * cheny, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
2.FORK:
Question on the forehead: With a fork in the eye or at x * ny times?
3.SOAP OR BREAD?
What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan?
4. OUR BOTTLE:
They break the bottle and say: "Go ahead." What will you do?
5. THE HUSBAND IS PLACED FOR 9 YEARS:
They put a man in prison for a strict 9 years. Once his godfather (the head of the prison) says, if you guess the riddle within 9 years, I will let you go, well, the man agreed and the head says:
A word of 9 letters, is in every home, ends with "dawn", but not TV. The man thought he thought for a long 9 years and did not guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
TWO CHAIRS (CLASSIC): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other x * and other * cheny, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
Answer:I will take the peaks chiseled, I will cut down x * and other * cheny, I will sit down and put my mother.
Answer # 2:I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees.
PARACHUTE:
You are flying on a parachute, on the right is a forest xy * v, on the left is a sea of shit * a. Where are you going to sit?Answer:In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.
Question in the forehead: With a fork in the eye or at x * ny times?
Answer:And there are no forks in the zone.
Answer # 2:Something I do not see here one-eyed.
SOAP OR BREAD?
What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan?
Answer:The table is not a soap dish, a bowl is not a bread box.
ABOUT SUGAR:
You are walking with a Kent in the Sahara Desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers, there is no shelter or settlements, nobody and nothing but sand. Suddenly creeps out poisonous snake, throws himself on the kenta and bites him for the sh * t. What are you going to do?Answer:If the kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If it is lower, then he will suck himself.
FOOTBALL: They draw a soccer goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer:Ask for a pass.
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BROOM:
They give you a broom and say: "Play the guitar something." What will you do?Answer:Give back the broom with the words "And you are in the mood first" TO OUR BOTTLE:
They break the bottle and say: "Go ahead." What will you do?
Answer:Ask them to turn it inside out.
PLACED A MAN IN PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:
They put a man in prison for a strict 9 years. Once his godfather (the head of the prison) says, if you guess the riddle within 9 years, I will let you go, well, the man agreed and the head says:
A word of 9 letters, is in every home, ends with "dawn", but not TV. The man thought he thought for a long 9 years and did not guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
Answer:Television. The question is not about what the jailer thought, but about the object about the cat the man first heard from the jailer (TV), and then saw at home. And if you read the condition, you can understand it
There are two chairs Is a prison riddle that has become a meme about a difficult choice, in which neither of the two options is perfect.
Origin
The whole task sounds like this: There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other the dicks are jerked off, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
Answer: I will take the peaks chiseled, I will cut the dicks off, I will sit down and put my mother in prison.
Answer # 2: I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees.
The riddle belongs to prison folklore and is part of spontaneously formed initiation rite, by a simple "registration". The new prisoner had to pass the test and not get greasy in order to earn the right to be among the other prisoners.
In 2010 this and other elements prison jargon penetrated the imageboard of Nulchan, giving rise to a phenomenon that was later named "Thief". The threads of those times were full of criminal jargon, prison concepts, gop culture and other thieves. In memory of that period, one of the brightest memes about two chairs has been preserved in Runet.
Meaning
The phrase "There are two chairs" (just like that, without a continuation) can often be heard in situations where a person stands in front of hard choice and neither of the two options suits him. At the same time, many do not even know where the phraseological unit came from, but simply use it as the beginning for a monologue.
Also, this meme can often be heard or seen as a reaction to someone's questionable activity. The person to whom the phrase is addressed usually either rushes between two opposing camps (opinions), or secretly advocates for two opposing sides.
This prison game is a famous registration, green convicts are frightened with it even earlier, even in pre-trial detention cells in the police, where there is always a seasoned or just talkative and eager to scare a neighbor. Usually, such riddles are asked for beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what will apply to you based on the answers. They do not refuse prison games. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.
Two chairs (classic): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other x * and other * cheny, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
Answer: I will take the chiseled peaks, I will cut down x * and other * chenas, I will sit down and put my mother in bed.
Answer # 2: I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees.
Parachute: You are flying by parachute, on the right is a forest xy * v, on the left is a sea of goats * a. Where are you going to sit?
Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.
Yama: You fell into a pit. Pie in the hole and shit. What will you eat, what will you shove in the * ooo?
Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the hole.
* oops or mother? Would you give us or sell your mother?
Answer: F * n is not given, the mother is not for sale.
Fork: A question in the forehead: With a fork in the eye or f * ck times?
Answer: There are no surebets in the zone.
Answer # 2: Something I don't see one-eyed people here.
Soap or bread? What do you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan?
Answer: The table is not a soap dish, a bowl is not a bread box.
About the Sahara: You are walking with a Kent in the Sahara Desert. At a distance of one hundred kilometers, there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes to the kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If it is lower, then he will suck himself.
Answer # 2: Today is Kent, and tomorrow is cop.
About the train: You are riding a train, chained to levers, they can be turned either to the left or to the right. There is a fork in front - on the right, the mother is tied to a post, on the left there are kents, about ten people. Where will you turn, whom will you crush?
Answer: Today the Kents, and tomorrow the cops.
Answer to all the riddles above: Wake up ... and subscribe to Smart Magazine :)
About bones: A convict sits on a shkonar, open a feeder and give gruel, dry bread. In the morning, they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the convict is alive?
Answer: Dice are dice.
About roosters: There were two roosters, one e * before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse?
Answer: For someone it is already worse.
In addition to such riddles, the citizens of the prisoners can offer the beginner a series of tests for ingenuity and ingenuity.
Football: They draw a football goal on the wall, and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.
Broom: They give you a broom and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do?
Answer: Give a broom with the words "And you are in the mood first"
Sew the bottle: They break the bottle and say: "Sew it". What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn it inside out.
Bayan: They ask you to play on the battery, like on the button accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to inflate the furs.
Pilots and miners: Who will you be? - asks the beginner. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he replies. Then crawl under the bins, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping off the dust and dirt under the bunk.
Get out. Who will you be now? Well, probably better as a pilot, he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which box will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? - they ask him. Frightened if, he says - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to prove himself a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he says. Are you going to fall on dominoes or on placed chess? - they ask him.
When you stand blindfolded, it is very vivid, obviously, a picture is presented of how you are flying flat from two meters on the points of spaced figures. It is bad if a newcomer chooses dominoes: they will force him to fall, and the registration will begin to tighten. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: for chess, there will be three more minutes of fear and nothing more.
While the figures are being placed, while they are being put on the bunk, and the seconds are the most terrible, when you have to fly off it yourself - to fall down with your whole body blindly. Twitching sharply - was not - he flops, waiting acute pain but falls onto the stretched blanket.
Tolerance to Pain: A beginner may be asked to compete with an old-timer in tolerance to pain. They both are blindfolded (first, an old-timer), put on both sides of the table, and the beginner's scrotum, he feels it with horror, is tightened with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of an opponent. And he is handed the end of the similarly tied rope.
The beginning is strictly on command. He quickly pulls the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even sharper, and he almost faints, because he pulls himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and watch how he reacted to the bullying.
Bus: A beginner, gets on all fours, and someone who is heavier perches on his back. Go! A beginner walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn and rest. The passenger rider asks him what the stop is. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner names one. Let's go further! This will last until he guesses to say: the final stop.
Astrologer: A novice astrologer crawls under a quilted jacket and must through its extended sleeve - a telescope - read loudly the stars drawn on paper - he clearly sees them through the sleeve, as through a pipe. At this time, a basin unexpectedly pours out on him through the sleeve cold water- a wash basin, called for some reason Alyonka, is always in the cell. How will a beginner react to this, getting out wet under the general laughter of others?
Do you respect me? Do you respect me? - asks one of the old-timers. Yes! - the newcomer is ready to answer. Then drink a mug of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? - asks the second. Then a mug for me. And in the cell, as a rule, there are more than a dozen people. After three or four mugs it becomes torture. Guess, beginner, on the second or third round, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the latter for your overall health.
“You go into a hut,” he began talkatively, “and you are satisfied with a residence permit: they ask all sorts of fucking questions, a bunch of riddles, you cannot answer - they beat you on the head with an oar ...”, Vladimir Ivanov wrote in his book Life in Prison.
Every newcomer to the hut - prison cell- must "pass registration". This is done in order to better get to know the inmate with whom he will have to share shelter, food and common fund. Based on the results of the check, the newcomer is assigned to a certain caste in the prison community. There are categories of prisoners who do not need to undergo the initiation procedure. These include seemingly inadequate or sick personalities, men over 40.
Researchers who have studied the Russian underworld attribute the emergence of its traditions and laws to the 18th century. Since that time, the initiation rite procedure has been outlined. Caste system formed already by late XIX century. The main were four categories (suits), which became the reason for the emergence of a permanent initiation rite in the ranks of recruits. This process reached its apotheosis from the 30s to the 90s of the XX century.
Thug or not thug - that is the question
In the course of registration, a "friendly" dialogue takes place, in which special attention is paid to riddles with a trick. The answers to them are clearly regulated. To prove yourself worthy, you need to initially know the solution or intuitively reach it.
The initiation procedure is generally not carried out among mature criminals. It affects minors who are registered in the cells of the remand prison. It is carried out in order to study a newcomer, to establish his degree of knowledge of the criminal subculture, to understand whether a cellmate is ready to follow its norms, to determine the status of a newcomer to the ranks, to clarify the rights and obligations arising from the established suit.
Registration is often carried out immediately after the newcomer enters the cell. In some prisons, it is customary to initiate after the expiration of the term (usually three months). Initiation is inseparably associated with the concept of "fun" or "toy". The goal is to catch the recruit of ignorance of the rules and regulations of the criminal world. Riddles are the longest in time. They test the "green" prisoner as long as the questioner has enough strength.
That "green" prisoners do not kill ...
Riddles are asked quickly. For each mistake, the subject receives a spoon on the forehead. If a cellmate turns out to be unintelligent, at the end of the registration, "horns" grow - due to swelling in the places of numerous blows. “You can't retell all the riddles, and they help the person passing through the registration to remember (or think) in different ways: either with a spoon, or with a fist on the forehead through a book, they can whack a liter mug,” says Vladimir Ivanov's Life in Prison.
Jokes, as a rule, are defiantly dismissive in nature, associated with the use of obscene swearing. One of the most common questions is: "What is the prison on?" The correct answer ("on the hook") is extremely rare. For an incorrect answer, recruits do push-ups or squats. And here is the wrong answer to the riddle "will you give it to f *** or will you sell your mother?" leads to more insult. If a newcomer chooses the first option, he is exposed to sodomy. The second one gets beaten up and becomes a "goat" (kind of suit). The correct answer sounds like this: "The kid in f *** is not f *** ing, and his mother is not for sale." The joke on quick wits is widely known to experienced prisoners: "What do you choose: x ** in f *** or a fork in the eye?" A rookie should choose the latter, because prisons don't have forks.
The venerable ones laugh last
During the registration there is a "boy's time" for thinking about the answer, equal to 45 seconds. If the answer is not received or it is incorrect, the recruit is deprived of the status of a boy. Sometimes it becomes possible to buy out the answer to the riddle - to hurt the "green". The subject of beatings can be a "carrot" - a dry or damp towel rolled into a bundle. The ransom is often fake and is associated with torture. Seasoned themes most amuse themselves. For example, the disadvantaged person is offered to become a "kid". To do this, a tube is made from pre-melted cellophane, which is set on fire, and dripped 36 times (it is believed that for persons under 18 years old - 36 suits) into his anus. As a result, the new recruit does not receive a new, higher status.
The road to the criminal elite
The prison world is conservative and structured. The complete picture division into castes was described by Yu. K. Aleksandrov in the chapter "Table of ranks in the criminal community (division by suit)" in the book "Essays on the criminal subculture"). Thieves in law occupy a special position in it. One of these was Pasha Zakharov, who was sent to the isolation ward for the first time after pickpocketing. During his imprisonment, he earned the "crown" of criminal authority, and in the first month of his stay in prison he received the nickname Tsirul. He showed himself worthily during his registration (it is possible that he answered the riddles correctly), so professional criminals let him in. There is an opinion that Pasha Zakharov cut the hair of reputable thieves in law.
Prison riddles This prison game is a famous residence permit, green convicts are frightened by it even earlier, even in pre-trial detention cells in the police, where there is always a seasoned or just talkative and eager to scare a neighbor. Usually, such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what will apply to you based on the answers. They do not refuse prison games. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer. Two chairs (classic): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other x * and other * cheny, which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on? Answer: I will take the chiseled peaks, I will cut down x * and other * chenas, I will sit down and put my mother. Answer # 2: I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees. Parachute: You are flying by parachute, on the right is a forest xy * v, on the left is a sea of goats * a. Where are you going to sit? Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island. Yama: You fell into a pit. Pie in the hole and shit. What will you eat, what will you shove in the * ooo? Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the hole. * oops or mother? Would you give us or sell your mother? Answer: F * pa is not given, the mother is not for sale. Fork: A question in the forehead: With a fork in the eye or f * ck times? Answer: There are no surebets in the zone. Answer # 2: Something I don't see one-eyed people here. Soap or bread? What do you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan? Answer: The table is not a soap dish, a bowl is not a bread box. About the Sahara: You are walking with a Kent in the Sahara Desert. At a distance of one hundred kilometers, there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes to the kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do? Answer: If the kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If it is lower, then he will suck himself. Answer # 2: Today is Kent and tomorrow is cop. About the train: You are riding a train, chained to levers, they can be turned either to the left or to the right. There is a fork in front - on the right, the mother is tied to a post, on the left there are kents, about ten people. Where will you turn, whom will you crush? Answer: Today the Kents, and tomorrow the cops. The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up. About bones: A convict sits on a shkonar, open the feeder and give gruel, dry bread. In the morning, they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the convict is alive? Answer: Dice are dice. About roosters: There were two roosters, one e * before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse? Answer: For someone it is already worse.
In addition to such riddles, the citizens of the prisoners can offer the beginner a series of tests for ingenuity and ingenuity.
Football: They draw a football goal on the wall, and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do? Answer: Ask for a pass. Broom: They give you a broom and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do? Answer: Give back the broom with the words "And you are in the mood first." What will you do? Answer: Ask to turn it inside out. Bayan: They ask you to play on the battery, like on the button accordion. What will you do? Answer: Ask to inflate the furs. Pilots and miners: Who will you be? - asks the beginner. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he replies. Then crawl under the bins, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping off the dust and dirt under the bunk. Get out. Who will you be now? Well, probably better as a pilot, he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which box will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? - they ask him. Frightened if, he says - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to prove himself a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he says. Are you going to fall on dominoes or on placed chess? - they ask him. When you stand blindfolded, it is very vivid, obviously, a picture is presented of how you are flying flat from two meters on the points of spaced figures. It is bad if a newcomer chooses dominoes: they will force him to fall, and the registration will begin to tighten. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: for chess, there will be three more minutes of fear and nothing more. While the figures are being placed, while they are being put on the bunk, and the seconds are the most terrible, when you have to fly off it yourself - to fall down with your whole body blindly. Twitching sharply - she was not - he flops down, expecting a sharp pain, but falls onto the stretched blanket. Tolerance to Pain: A beginner may be asked to compete with an old-timer in tolerance to pain. They both are blindfolded (first, an old-timer), put on both sides of the table, and the beginner's scrotum, he feels it with horror, is tightened with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of an opponent. And he is handed the end of the similarly tied rope. The beginning is strictly on command. He quickly pulls the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even sharper, and he almost faints, because he pulls himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and watch how he reacted to the bullying. Bus: A beginner, gets on all fours, and someone who is heavier perches on his back. Go! A beginner walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn and take a break. The passenger rider asks him what the stop is. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner names one. Let's go further! This will last until he guesses to say: the final stop. Astrologer: A novice astrologer crawls under a quilted jacket and must through its extended sleeve - a telescope - read loudly the stars drawn on paper - he clearly sees them through the sleeve, as through a pipe. At this time, a basin of cold water is suddenly poured onto him through the sleeve - a basin for washing, called for some reason Alyonka, is always in the cell. How will a beginner react to this, getting out wet under the general laughter of others? Do you respect me? Do you respect me? - asks one of the old-timers. Yes! - the newcomer is ready to answer. Then drink a mug of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? - asks the second. Then a mug for me. And in the cell, as a rule, there are more than a dozen people. After three or four mugs it becomes torture. Guess, beginner, on the second or third round, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the latter for your overall health. For the information provided in open form we just ask you to SUBSCRIBE to