Carbon monoxide poems. Funny short rhymes for adults
All the best and positive mood this beautiful evening! If you are a lover of positive and humor and do not mind laughing heartily while reading funny rhymes, then we have prepared this post especially for you. Today we decided to stage the coolest, funny and short poems of various subjects. They will not only cheer you up, but also charge you with a positive after a busy day. Don't miss the opportunity to recharge good mood... Read these funny rhymes, send them to your friends, so that they too can convey a little positive. Have a fun and enjoyable evening everyone!
If you take colored paper
Pen, scissors and glue
And a little more courage
You can make one hundred rubles.
As if, without dirtying your hands with murder,
With eyes as clear as the summer sky
Load money into suitcases in bundles
And so that for this there was nothing ...
It happens that you wake up like a bird
Winged spring on the cocked.
And I want to live and work,
But, by breakfast, it goes away.
The bullshit can be different
Green and red
But the most dangerous
Green-red bullshit.
At the end of the century, he took and subverted
Of an angry man good person.
From a grenade launcher - slap him, goat!
Therefore, good is stronger than evil.
Call "Lada" "Mercedes"
It is unlikely to bring good luck
In the meantime, I follow with interest
Will it be different with the Police ...
Adapted to life
Our mighty people.
Where there is nothing to shave -
Nobody lives there!
My phone rang:
- Who's talking?
- Elephant.
Then the geese called ...
When will he let me go?
Where are you going?
I'm going to the doctor.
And what are you talking about?
Your urine!
Where are you going, weirdo?
And I go to the doctor, bring brandy.
Puzzle yourself with a question:
Who will be helped by the doctor sooner?
I'll get up early in the morning
I'll look at the face.
I won't drink any more!
But also less ...
I'll get up early in the morning
I'll drink a can of mercury
And I'll go die
In this institute ...
The wisest bird in the world is an owl
He knows everything, but he is very stingy with words.
The more he learns, the less he talks,
How damn it is not enough for the lecturer.
One day the wife says to her husband:
- Remember, dear, we have one daughter!
When grooms come to our house
And they ask you and me for her hand,
You need to say, almost always,
Only the word "YES" with dignity!
Not at all like you do.
From their stupidity and simplicity
Before the groom, falling on his knees,
You kiss his hands with affection
And like a prisoner, not like a parent,
You shout: "O our liberator! ..."
How many good girls
How many affectionate names.
And I got it with a vile mug,
And with an ugly name - Anton.
What kind of torment is this
Race for beer at the speed of sound
Knowing at the same time that someone and somewhere,
Rushing for beer at the speed of light.
If a girl is free
If a girl is beautiful
If a girl is tasteful
If a girl is smart ...
Fussing is useless -
She will make the choice!
In every pretty girl
In every shy baby
May be hidden somewhere
Gadny genes of great-grandmother.
Do not envy your friend if your friend is richer
If a friend is more beautiful, if he is smarter.
May his wealth, may his luck
Your sandals won't wear off the straps.
Little Petya in lame chat
He declared his love to the girl Katya.
An unpleasant surprise awaits the gentleman -
The "girl Katya" was the boy Valera.
My friend loves cats very much,
Rat pups, canaries, dogs, parrots.
I'm not ready to share her tastes,
Chinese cuisine only scares me.
I'm leaving - I said proudly -
I will find people like you!
Go - she calmly told me ... -
Nobody is holding you by the horns.
Once again quarreling with his wife,
I was ready to kill her
And turning right to God
I decided to ask him,
Tell me Lord where
Of these sweet, gentle Virgins,
That give us their smiles
And the happiness of sweet pleasures
Women are taken that they can,
Grumbling nonstop
Grumble, mope and take offense
And endlessly run over.
I want this, and tomorrow this,
No, it's not like that! And it's not that!
And God answered, without hesitation,
Blame yourself! Your everything!
I'm in endless surprise
Forgetting about shyness and honor,
He exclaimed - "Lord, from where,
The Woman takes all this !? "
And I understood God's plan
And appreciated the subtle humor!
When the truth is simple to me
He opened it with a bitter smile.
And condescended to explain -
We must blame ourselves for everything!
After all, Girls are my creations,
And you make women ...
I did not meet him more pleasantly than a man:
Handsome, charming, very smart
And every morning for no reason
He smiles at me from the mirror!
Laser-cut suckers
Snowflakes stick in your face.
Will I run to the stop
Without sinking your boots in the snow?
And at home a tarela is waiting for me,
Buckwheat plate with white roll;
In the legs - rubber warmed,
And the tapas are soft under the chair.
There are two herrings in the iron bath,
A bed with a pitchfork sticks out from there.
There is a glass and a bottle of vodka,
She finished my dinner.
I'll put brews in the circle,
I will open "Kobzar" Shevcheny -
Poet level of Petrara
And Valentina Matviena.
Wake up in the morning, just
take a sip of sour brine,
scrape off the stubble from your face -
and pack your knapsack for school.
When you look in the portomone
Where instead of money is a pile of dust
Do not say with longing: No! ,
But with gratitude: There were! ...
It happens that you wake up like a bird
Winged spring cocked
And I want to live and work!
But by breakfast it passes ...
You were good, and the night was good.
By morning, however, it became clear again:
No matter how hot the passion may seem, -
Someday half past five will come ...
The body is asleep, it is tired, because it was drinking yesterday.
The brain is also not up to the body, its departments sleep quietly.
The irrevocable language sleeps, but yesterday it was carefree, he spoke nonsense skillfully, but by morning everything was numb.
And the stomach sleeps tired, only the ulcer was not enough.
Only the liver can't sleep - it was necessary to get so drunk.
The birch was crying
The gooseberry laughed.
Fought over cherries
Strawberries and rose hips.
The poplar was matting,
The plum sang songs.
Here's a thing
Diphenhydramine and beer !!!
Embracing simple belongings in an armful,
Swaying, without any secrets,
Once, I was walking through the woods SHAPKA,
Under the nose purring "RAMSHTINE".
Taking a little for courage
(she knew a lot about drinks)
Went to myself, my own way.
... And here, towards, the GRAY WOLF:
- Well, HAT, you can get lost!
... Or, here I am, drunk in the basement!
- And what should I, in fact, be afraid of ???
I KNOW THE ROAD. SEX LOVE
The bear slept in the den for a long time,
Everything stinks - paws, legs,
The ass is hot, the back is hooked,
The horseradish is sweating, the tummy is puffy,
The eye is swollen, the fingers are frozen
Snot twig, swollen eggs,
But the moral is already clear
ENOUGH TO SLEEP SPRING has come !!!
Eh, my life, tin
Come on her to the swamp.
Until one o'clock in the morning booze
Vomiting until half past five.
You are cute from above, yes ... here with your hand ...
Take your time, smoother, a little lower.
Of course, I'm comfortable, dear!
Yes, from the side and a little closer.
Bend over and press down a little ?! Easily!
How you and I feel each other !!!
Yes, there are no trifles in this matter!
Here, with the palm of your hand, gently, in a circle ...
On knees? This is an option!
I will reach, since it is necessary for the case ...
Yes, cat, yes! Got it? You are my giant !!!
Leg-split? Of course! I wanted it myself!
Hot sweat streaming down the delicate skin.
One hundred twenty poses!
We have dealt with you!
Another magical day together ...
I'm happy! Wallpaper glued.
We cannot marry all women at once.
Eh, to know the sign to choose!
The thin one will be cold in bed.
The fat woman barely walks through the door.
The merry one turns out to be a walker,
And with sad sex once a month, and not more often.
With a cold you will earn a sore throat.
Hot - scratched back.
To be close to a leggy not with your hands,
When she puts on her heels.
The one that is smart will deceive without difficulty.
Living with a stupid person is also nonsense.
The beautiful one will easily go to another.
And the terrible one is a shame home.
So we have to, whatever one may say,
Just look at the size of her breasts.
I am writing to you ... Yesterday - I called ...
The other day I sent a fax ...
But also with the tears of a crocodile
I would not pity you!
When with a shaking hand
I was typing SMS
You cheated on me with another,
Captivated by the breadth of bodies ...
You didn't wash away like a gentleman
One fine day and hour ...
No wonder I am a woman's bra
I saw in your pocket ...
I asked you, all on my nerves,
Back four more days
- Keeping at least a drop of conscience,
Give back, you bastard, two hundred euros,
What did you borrow from me ...
But you only return ten bucks,
That they stole from the purse,
So unexpectedly - by fax!
Yesterday at lunch they sent me ...
I imagined you as a hero!
There was a limit to perfection in you! ...
BUT YOU ARE A GOAT ... I WILL FIND - UROU ... I love ... Kisses ... Tanya L ...
The toilets will have a party too
A surprise awaits them, too,
And instead of boring naked asses
They will see many new faces!
While the wife splashed in the bathroom
to sleep better in the evening,
husband according to the tradition of the recent
I decided to look at my neighbor ...
Conditional call lonely
v empty apartment rang out,
disappointed man
returned to the room and sat down.
Just from the bathroom at this time
like a Shemohan princess,
throwing off the burden of household worries,
the legal wife entered.
In a teasing lightness robe,
slim, elastic, young,
beautiful devilishly and, by the way,
as pure as mountain water.
Sighing, the husband betrothed weakly
at the sight of his own wife:
"If you were someone else's woman, you would have no price ..."
If you take colored paper
Pen, scissors and glue
And a little more courage
You can make one hundred rubles
As if, without dirtying your hands with murder,
With eyes as clear as the summer sky
Load money into suitcases in bundles
And so that for this there was nothing ...
It happens that you wake up like a bird
Winged spring on the cocked.
And I want to live and work,
But, by breakfast, it goes away.
The bullshit can be different
Green and red
But the most dangerous
Green-red bullshit.
At the end of the century, he took and subverted
An evil person A kind person.
From a grenade launcher - slap him, goat!
Therefore, good is stronger than evil.
Call "Lada" "Mercedes"
It is unlikely to bring good luck
In the meantime, I follow with interest
Will it be different with the Police ...
Adapted to life
Our mighty people.
Where there is nothing to stiffen -
Nobody lives there!
My phone rang:
- Who's talking?
- Elephant.
Then the geese called ...
When will he let me go?
Where are you going?
I'm going to the doctor.
And what are you talking about?
Your urine!
Where are you going, weirdo?
And I go to the doctor, bring brandy.
Puzzle yourself with a question:
Who will be helped by the doctor sooner?
I'll get up early in the morning
I'll look at the face.
I won't drink any more!
But also less ...
I'll get up early in the morning
I'll drink a can of mercury
And I'll go die
In this institute ...
The wisest bird in the world is an owl
He knows everything, but he is very stingy with words.
The more he learns, the less he talks,
How damn it is not enough for the lecturer.
I have a rat in my pocket!
I found her in the forest!
She's wet and bald!
I'm bringing it to you!
If an adult mouse
Take, and carefully holding,
Stuff needles into it
You will receive a hedgehog.
If this hedgehog,
Stopping his nose so that he does not breathe,
Where deeper, throw it into the river
You will receive a Ruff.
If this ruff,
Clutching my head in a vice
Pull the tail harder
You will get a snake.
If this snake,
Having prepared two knives ...
However, he will probably die,
But the idea is good!
One day the wife says to her husband:
- Remember, dear, we have one daughter!
When grooms come to our house
And they ask you and me for her hand,
You need to say, almost always,
Only the word "YES" with dignity!
Not at all like you do.
From their stupidity and simplicity
Before the groom, falling on his knees,
You kiss his hands with affection
And like a prisoner, not like a parent,
You shout: "O our liberator! ..."
How many good girls
How many affectionate names.
And I got it with a vile mug,
And with an ugly name - Anton.
What kind of torment is this
Race for beer at the speed of sound
Knowing at the same time that someone and somewhere,
Rushing for beer at the speed of light.
If a girl is free
If a girl is beautiful
If a girl is tasteful
If a girl is smart ...
Fussing is useless -
She will make the choice!
In every pretty girl
In every shy baby
May be hidden somewhere
Gadny genes of great-grandmother.
Do not envy your friend if your friend is richer
If a friend is more beautiful, if he is smarter.
May his wealth, may his luck
Your sandals won't wear off the straps.
Little Petya in lame chat
He declared his love to the girl Katya.
An unpleasant surprise awaits the gentleman -
The "girl Katya" was the boy Valera.
My friend loves cats very much,
Rat pups, canaries, dogs, parrots.
I'm not ready to share her tastes,
Chinese cuisine only scares me.
I'm leaving - I said proudly -
I will find people like you!
Go - she calmly told me ... -
Nobody is holding you by the horns.
Once again quarreling with his wife,
I was ready to kill her
And turning right to God
I decided to ask him,
Tell me Lord where
Of these sweet, gentle Virgins,
That give us their smiles
And the happiness of sweet pleasures
Women are taken that they can,
Grumbling nonstop
Grumble, mope and take offense
And endlessly run over.
I want this, and tomorrow this,
No, it's not like that! And it's not that!
And God answered, without hesitation,
Blame yourself! Your everything!
I'm in endless surprise
Forgetting about shyness and honor,
He exclaimed - "Lord, from where,
The Woman takes all this !? "
And I understood God's plan
And appreciated the subtle humor!
When the truth is simple to me
He opened it with a bitter smile.
And condescended to explain -
We must blame ourselves for everything!
After all, Girls are my creations,
And you make women ...
I did not meet him more pleasantly than a man:
Handsome, charming, very smart
And every morning for no reason
He smiles at me from the mirror!
They cut off the suckers with a laser, Snowflakes stick into the face.
Will I run to the stop, In the snow without drowning my boots?
And at home tarela is waiting for me, Tarela of buckwheat with white roll;
In the legs - rubber warmed, And soft tapas under the chair.
In the iron bath there are two herrings, A bed with a pitchfork sticking out from there.
There is a glass and a bottle of water, She finished my lunch.
I will put brews in a circle, I will open Shevcheny's "Kobzar" -
Poet level of Petrara
And Valentina Matviena.
As one of the sections of the site with jokes, a rather peculiar style of humor. A common person can write short poems about love or about their parents, but only a few are able to translate humorous fantasies into poetic form. And so that you want to download poetry and make you laugh to tears, for this the author must have a real talent.
Personally, I really like funny poems... It does not matter what topic they will be, the main thing is that the poem causes laughter. Although, it is possible to single out poems about work in a separate category, since most of such creations are written in a mocking form on the work, and therefore almost every verse about work makes readers smile.
Few readers are able to read a long verse to the end. But in vain. Indeed, in long poems, a cheerful denouement most often occurs precisely at the end, and when we read the poems to the end, we understand that we have not wasted our time on them. But, little poems are still in great demand among readers. Therefore, short funny jokes are more popular than long jokes.
Light poetry
The main content of humor in rhymed form is light poetry... They do not make you think about global problems, do not strain while reading. On the contrary, it is very easy to read light poetry, which is why readers like them so much. And even the first poems of novice poets are often presented in a light humorous form so that readers can relax during the reading process.
V recent times find worthy funny poems not so easy. Most Internet sites are chasing the number of jokes, thoroughly neglecting the quality. Therefore, poetry over time begins to lose popularity, but the genre is very, very funny. For example, short poems about doctors, alcoholics or drug addicts are much more fun to read than just pictures of them. Of course, funny pictures of these people also cause laughter, but they can hardly be compared with a good poem.
As for our site, we can safely say that there are collected the most best poems from all over the internet. Moderators carefully select the best poetic creations so that the reader can believe in the powerful ability of rhymed works to cause laughter. In addition, readers can download funny poems and winged aphorisms, so that later it is great to amuse their friends during evening gatherings.