Jokes for children of 7 years to read. Short jokes about children - very funny to tears about children and parents
Childhood is the smallest and carefree of a person, which is often often remembered in the future. In childhood, there are many funny and ridiculous stories that are nice to sort out in memory after a while. This confirmation is numerous jokes about childrenIn which small personships try to be like adults, although they do not work in any way.
Funny jokes about children also tell the adventures of children and adults who are involved in children's pranks in children and look pretty stupid. Nevertheless, the funniest jokes about children can not do without adults. Children may well and make something incredible themselves, but with the help of an adult, any children's prank is reincarnated into an unusually cheerful story that is remembered for a lifetime.
The specificity of the genres of some jokes is so narrow that it is impossible to break out of her face. Take, for example, demotivators about work in the office. Pictures will tell only about cool details of the office and everything. Nothing more to add. Very funny jokes about children and parents Do not envelop a certain framework, because completely different situations can happen to them. And although the anecdotes about children relate to a certain humorous genre - its borders are much wider than just can be represented.
Recently, the number of small jokes consisting of several offers has increased. Also cause a lot of stormy emotions, and besides, they are much easier and brighter long stories. In such funny jokes about children, the events unfold much faster, and there is no need to memorize many of the names of heroes. Therefore, short jokes about children can be compared with ridiculous jokes about doctors, where the set of actors is minimal. therefore the funniest jokes about children Consist of several proposals that can bring to tears of any reader.
You can find very funny jokes to tears about children on the expanses of our site. Here you can read anecdotes about children Every day, enjoying new jokes and jokes. Here you will find cool cartoons about work, witty statements of great thinkers and many other humorous sections, including funny jokes about children.
Always differ briefness and integrity of the main characters seeking to be like adults. You can find funny jokes to tears about children. You can thanks to the search system for our site, which sorts the style of humor that you need at the moment.
Anecdotes love to read and listen to everything - not only adults, but also children. Therefore, today we picked up children's jokes are the most funny for age 10-12 years old, which you can read with your children, or tell them them.
Children's jokes are the funniest
Two boys occur on the street. One reports news:
- I just snatched a sick tooth.
- Well, and he still hurts?
- I dont know.
- How can I not know this?
- And the doctor's tooth remained.
Father telling her daughter:
- I would not dare to lie in your age!
- And at what age did you start?
One boy says to another:
- My dad is very good.
- Do you tell me that?
- You.
- Last year, he was my dad.
Son - Father:
- Dad, when you studied at school, have you been in the same class with Sereg's father?
- Yes.
- Can not be it!
- Why?
"Because he also claims that he was the best student in the classroom."
The teacher scolds the student:
- Did you come again without a handle?! Interestingly, what would you say if I saw a soldier who appeared to the teachings without a weapon?
"I would say that he probably became a general.
The funniest jokes for children 10-12 years
- Boy, not a hooligan, otherwise your dad will grow gray hair!
- My dad will be very happy, he is completely bald!
- Ivanov, who did homework for you: Dad or Mom?
- I do not know, I already slept.
Schoolchildren think that the institute learn better, but only students know what is best in kindergarten!
I learned the hedgehog breathing booty. Passes past Lisa, his hedgehog she says:
- Fox, and fox, blow me!
Lisa stifled - stolen - could not strangle.
Walking past a bear, his hedgehog himself says:
- Bear, and a bear, blow me!
The bear stole-stifled - could not strangle.
So hedgehog all day in the forest, and no one could strangle him. Tired hedgehog, sat down on Prenok and suffocated.
At the control teacher, carefully follows students and sometimes drives out those who have noticed spurs. The director looks into the class.
- Check write? Probably, here are full of lovers to write off.
Teacher:
- No, lovers are already in the corridor, only professionals remained.
Children's jokes about Lovoch
At the lesson of biology in class, the teacher tells:
- Pestik and stitching in colors are breeding organs.
Little Johnny with the back of the party, sorry:
- Here is damn, and I smell them ...
The class includes a teacher and asks Lovo:
- Where is Seryozha?
"No, we played who is further visible from the window ... Well, he won.
Vova, what kind of good act did you commit?
"And I escaped my dad and saw the uncle runs behind the outgoing train." So I let my dog, Pit Bull Rack, and Uncle managed to train.
At school:
- Well done, Nikita, solid five, let's do the diary!
- Oh, it seems, I forgot him at home ...
- Take mine! - whispering Laboys.
- Little Johnny, Suppose you have 100 rubles. You asked the Father another 100 rubles. How much will you have money?
- 100 rubles, Mary Ivanna.
- Bad, Little Johnny, you do not know Mathematics at all!
- And you, Mary Ivanna, do not know my father at all!
It is difficult to believe that there is at least one person without a sense of humor - another thing is to talk about how thin it is in some individuals. Humor covers all areas of activity of people.
We are joking literally about everythingwhat we see and what happens to us, joke about representatives of certain professions and nationalities, about relatives and loved ones, laugh above yourself and situationsIn which we get.
The main topics of jokes, loved by all children, are:
- fairy tales and fabulous heroes;
- friends, brothers and sisters;
- school, study;
- animals;
- holidays.
Jokes - This is the charge of energy for the whole day. Perhaps the most harmless and funny jokes are connected with the children, they will make laugh before the tears of adults and a child. And since the main occupation of children is study, then the most funny children's jokes are associated with the school., disciples and teachers. Raise your mood and familiar to everyone, having enlisted the pair of dozens short jokes about school. Here you can find:
- children's jokes about school;
- the funniest jokes about Lovochka;
- the freshest school jokes.
Children's jokes about school
At first, parents ask:
- How are you the first day? Liked in school?
- First? Just do not say that tomorrow I will go there again!
- Sasha, call me at least one transparent subject
- Locking well, Marya Ivanovna!
After the lesson of the anatomy.
- I heard Vitya received a twice for the control!
- Why?
- for the crib. The teacher caught him when he believed Röbra.
- Doctor, at my child squint.
- Is it a congenital?
- No, from writing.
- How much will it be if you give one kitten, plus two kits and four more kitten?
- Nine.
- Listen carefully! You were given one kitten, then two kits and four more. How much?
- Nine.
- Then differently! I give you one watermelon, then two and four more watermelons! How many?
- Eight!
- Here you go! And kitten, plus two, plus four? How much?
- Nine!
- Why?!
- Because I already live one kitten!
- Mom, dad, we wrote at school today!
- Well, read what you wrote?
Son complains mom:
- I do not want to go to school anymore!
- Why?
- Again Vashekin will put the footsteps, and Ivanov from the slingshot to shoot me, and the seedors tutorial to throw in me!
"No, son, you need to school," says Mom. - First, you have already turned 50 years old, and secondly, you are the director of the school.
- Daddy, and today we did the vaccination at school today!
- Well done, daughter, you did not cry?
- No, they caught me out.
- So that they think they have a holiday.
— VovochkaWhat kind of best school do you imagine?
- Closed!
The teacher asks:
- Baby, and you know that in heat all substances have an extension property, and in the cold shrink?
- Sure! - Says Vovochka. - Therefore, the winter holidays shorter than summer.
- Sit Ivanov, five! Come on the diary.
- And I forgot him.
- Take mine! - whispering Laboys.
- Children, to which detachment there is a pool snake?
- To the detachment of minor!
- Little Johnny, why are you so pale today?
- And yesterday I washed my mother yesterday.
Little John's late in school. The teacher asks him:
- What happened why so late?
- Bandit attacked me!
- Oh God! And what did he do?
- took away homework ...
The girl complains to parents:
- How will I get rid of this late? Forces no longer!
- What did he not please you? Won portfolio after lessons helps to carry.
- Yes, it is tired: I have them already fifty accumulated!
The freshest school jokes
At the control teacher, carefully follows students and sometimes drives out those who have noticed spurs. The director looks into the class.
- Check write? Probably, here are full of lovers to write off.
- No, lovers are already in the corridor, only professionals remained.
Anatomy teacher:
- What teeth do people appear last?
- Stamped.
"What time is this: I jump, you jump, he jumps, they jump?"
- Turn!
- Do you know what is the worst for excellent?
- Get a two?
- No, learn lesson and do not have time to answer.
There is a lesson. In the neighboring office, the noise and gams, the teacher does not withstand and go there. Grabs behind the ear of the smoke itself, turns to my class. Ten minutes the door opens, the student looks into the class from that office and quietly says:
- Can I have your teacher back?
Father asks Son:
- What should I do to stop getting two?
- Ask the teacher not to call me!
Teacher says:
- Everyone is quieter! To be heard, how fly flies!
Everyone immediately silenced. Five minutes later, Vanya does not withstand and asks:
- Mikhail Ivanovich, and when will you fly a fly?
- And now let's prove the theorem of Pythagora.
Pupil from the last part:
- Maybe not? We believe on the word!
Answering the question about the first woman by Letchitsa, the disciples called Babu Yagu.
I go to school - no one ... I go to Odnoklassniki - the whole class!
In the lesson of mathematics:
- Anya, how much is your mom pay for 3 kilograms of potatoes, if a kilogram costs 30 rubles 10 kopecks?
- That is still unknown.
- Why?
- And she is always trading.
A high school student comes to the Father:
Dad, you call you to school.
- What happened?
- So, a little thing, I broke the window.
Father went. A few days later, son again:
- Dad, call you to school.
- What made again?
- Yes, the laboratory Cabinet blew up.
Father went.
Son for the third time comes to him:
- Dad, you ask you to school again.
- Everything, tired, I will not go anymore!
- Well, right, dad. Why do you need to go around ...
Jokes for children 9,10,11,12 years old are very funny, short and not very long, read that will be fun!
Previously, I led an active lifestyle - played football and hockey, tennis, basketball. But the computer broke ...
Conversation of two men:
- Do you go clock correctly?
- I'm on our hand!
Do you know that the true lord of the rings works in the registry office?
What is the best four-legged friend of man?
- Armchair!
Slow people are compared with turtles, but there were no cases that the turtle was late somewhere.
My new Chinese phone works like a clock. But at the same time, like a phone, it does not work ...
Mom and son at the entrance to the Zoo, Son: Mom, Mom Watch Monkey! - No, son is aunt cashier.
Teacher: List four pets me
- Dog, and three puppies - Petrov is fun.
On the forest path there is a happy Yozh, and a pensive hare. Hare asks:
- Hedgehog, are you constantly laughing?
- Herbal heels tickle.
- "Ivanov, who did homework: Dad or Mom?"
- "I do not know, I already slept"
What to do when you fall in love at first sight?
Carefully look at the second time ...
- Angelina, why are you drinking so much water? - asks the mother.
- Because I ate an apple, and my hands forgot to wash in front of meal.
In a psychiatric hospital, the patient says:
- I'm Napoleon.
- Why do you think so? - asks the doctor.
- God said to me.
In the conversation, another ward interfaches:
- No, I did not say.
Father explains to a three-year-old son:
- No, this is not a horse with antennas, but a deer!
The girl dresses the driving exam. Sit into the car, the instructor says:
- You do not pass.
- But why? After all, I only got into the car!
Instructor:
- Yes, they sat down, only on the rear seat.
Mama, I was so lucky today at school.
- Why?
"The teacher wanted to put me into the corner, but all the angles were busy.
Talking two fishermen:
- Yesterday I caught a gold fish ..
- That's lucky! What desires guess?
"I needed to choose from two desires: to become the most beautiful, or have a good memory."
- And what did you choose?
- I do not remember …
- Tell me, please, this cake is fresh?
- Of course, see the date of manufacture on January 1!
- But today only December 30! - Surprised by the buyer.
- You are very lucky this cake from the future!
- Does your dog love children?
Yes, but more dog food.
The school goes lesson, teacher:
- Children who considers themselves stupid stand up!
It takes a few minutes, Nikita rises.
Teacher:
- Nikita, do you think yourself stupid?
- No ... it's just uncomfortable that you are standing alone ...
At the lesson, the teacher gave task to children to draw grazing cows on the green field. Vasily brought a blank sheet of paper. The teacher asks:
- Vassenka why not painted green grass?
- Cow ate grass
- And where is the cow?
- Well, what to do there cows, if there is no green grass?
Useful phones:
The roof is burning - 01
No roof - 02
The roof went - 03 or one common number 112
Son asks the Banker Father:
- Dad, here you have a bank and money in your bank, belong to customers?
- Yes.
- Then where is the villa, yacht, my private paid school and everything else?
- Let me explain ... Bring me a big piece of sala from the refrigerator
Son brings, father
- And now, take it back
- Well, it took, and what?
- Show me a hand, you see on the palms and the fat remained on the fingers ...
Looking for some funny joke for children? Then you need to visit us: humor, jokes for children 10 years old are very funny, short cool.
Funny jokes for children about school are popular not only among students, but also from their parents. But how not to laugh at the unlucky classmate or teacher? Humor and laughter accompany our whole life, and therefore, funny jokes in school are natural. The child does not want to insult someone at all, just so fun to live, knowing her with laughter.
Funny jokes about school are relevant for both first-graders and adolescents in high school. Without this, the life of children is unthinkable, because funny situations described in the jokes are often taken from these situations in the lesson, in change, in communicating with classmates and teachers. Popular anecdotes about Lovoch in the lesson, about the student and director, and even about parents at the meeting. Why not refer to the problems of school life with humor, do not laugh and so discharge a mounted environment, and maybe a told anecdote will help to pass a walking lesson?
Why dig in yourself fear and anxiety? Especially showing anecdotes for children who are afraid of teachers and school as a whole - laugh and you will succeed.
In addition, told to the place of anecdote will bring you the popularity among classmates. School jokes do not know age. They are glad to listen and tell both the babies of first-graders and graduates. Choose the desired anecdote from our selection and tell your friends - Let you become fun!
Jokes about school
***
In the class of control. The teacher carefully monitors the students and from time to time it kicks out those who have noticed spurs. The wrapper looks into the class:
- What, test write? Here, probably, full lovers push!
The teacher replies:
- No, lovers - already outside the door. Only professionals remained here.
***
- Children who broke the window?
Silence.
- Children who broke the window?
Silence again.
- I ask for the third time, who broke the window?
- Come on, Marya Ivanovna, what's there! Ask for the fourth time.
***
Pupil after estimates:
- I do not think that it deserved such an assessment.
Teacher:
- I, too, but below, unfortunately, no longer.
***
The student responded to the top five. The teacher asks the diary.
"I forgot him at home," said the student.
- Take mine! - whispers a neighbor.
***
Teacher: - to the one who goes to answer first, put on the score above.
The malicious dummy pulls the diary.
- What do you want? - The teacher is surprised.
- put the top one!
***
The teacher speaks at the lesson:
- Children, and you know that in the cold all the objects are compressed, and in heat, on the contrary, increase in size? Who can lead a train from life?
Masha pulls her hand:
- Summer holidays lasts longer than winter!
***
Teacher in Russian lesson:
- Give an example of using the expression "Fortunately".
The student answers:
- Robbers slept the traveler and killed him. Fortunately, he forgot the money at home.
***
- Children, what phenomena of nature are in winter?
- Snowmen ...
***
Two students chase under the windows of a soccer ball at home.
- What kind of swearing in your apartment? - asks one.
- This is my grandfather explains the Father, as it is necessary to solve my task on arithmetic.
***
At school, the teacher says to the disciples:
- Which of you finally considers yourself a stupid? Stand up.
After a long pause, one student rises:
- So you consider yourself a stupid?
- Well, not quite, but somehow awkwardly, that only you are standing.
***
One very thick girl was transferred to another class, after which the school leaned over the other side.
***
When the Son of Count Dracula did not come home from the lessons, his mother decided that he was most likely a number put.
***
A first-grader comes home from lessons and begins to tell mom:
-We read a fairy tale at the lesson.
-What?, I am interested in mom.
Red hat.
-And what did this wonderful fairy tale taught you?
- It is very good to remember what my grandmother looks like.
***
School teacher says Colleague:
- No, it became completely impossible to work. The teacher is afraid of the director. Director Inspector. Inspector-verifying from the ministry. Minister-Parents. Parents are afraid of children. And only children are not afraid of anyone ...
***
- When are you going to do lessons?
- After movies.
- After the movie - Late.
- Learn, never late!
Jokes about Lovoch in school
***
The teacher leads a geography lesson. Little batches are at the board.
- Little Johnny, tell me please, what is the Panama Canal.
- Well, I do not know ..., such a channel does not show our TV.
***
Father asks Vovochka:
- Deaf corrected?
- corrected!
- Well, show!
- Here! (In diary dirt and divorce from washing)
- Well, who corrects so? ! Dai here!
***
Looking gallery comes from school, gives dad diary to read. Dad reads:
- English-2, Mathematics-2, Physics-2, ... singing-5. Lord! My dangle also sings!
***
- Well, Little Johnny, tell me how much will it be twice two? - asks the teacher.
-Four!
- Right. So for these four candy.
- Eh, if I knew, I would say sixteen!
***
Teacher:
- Little Johnny, tell me how fast it will be 5 + 8.
- 23.
- How don't you ashamed to be such a stupid! It will be 13, not 23.
"So you asked me to answer quickly, not exactly."
***
"Molodets, Little Johnny," the father of his son praises.
-How did you manage to get a five zoology?
-And they asked how many legs of the ostrich. I replied that three.
-Well, but the ostrich has two legs!
-That's it! But the rest of the disciples answered that four!
***
The teacher scolds Lovochka:
- Do you really know how to count only to ten? Just the mind will not do, who do you think ...
- Boxing judge!
***
- Little Johnny, Make an offer with the words "Cat" and "Watch".
- When I accidentally arrived on the kick, he shouted:
- "Watch it is necessary, where you come!"
***
Little Johnny, returning home after the lessons:
- Dad, today at school parent assembly ... But only for a narrow circle.
- For a narrow circle? What does it mean?
- There will be only a teacher and you ...
***
Before school on asphalt, someone painted a member of paint from the canister. The janitor could not come up with how to remove it and flooded the drawing of the earth!
***
The student 5 "w" class brought home a notebook, where in the lesson the theory of Palevokontakt was outlined.