Funny short skits are fun ideas. Funny scenes about school

Interesting and funny skits for schoolchildren. Sketch about school and teachers.

Sketch for schoolchildren.

DEAR TEACHERS!

(A play from school life)

Characters:

Morkovkin,

Senkiyaa,

Lastochkina.

Part 1

Leading(from students): Dear participants! I propose to declare our extremely important ceremonial meeting open! Today there is one problem on the agenda: to decide what we should do next with the school.

Students(from the seat): Correct! How long can you endure!

Leading: Because we do not comply with the main law of school life - “Learning should be fun!” The floor for the report is given to the main truant of the class, Zaitsev.

Zaitsev: Why am I skipping? Because my body requires sleep. And in comfortable conditions. I don't get enough sleep at my desk. And then, there are such insensitive teachers who wake you up at the most inopportune moment. I personally think this is disgraceful!

Lisitsyn(from the seat): If I don’t wake you up, you’ll fall on your neighbors! I believe that, on the contrary, the main problem is that the lesson is too boring! There must be loud music, a disco there, something like that!

Leading: Please follow the rules! And you, Lisitsyn, don’t stick your head out until you’ve been given the floor. Carry on, Zaitsev. What constructive suggestions do you have?

Zaitsev: I have such constructive suggestions. Since we are forced to go to this school, humane conditions must be created. At least put some folding beds in! And please, protect from any Lisitsyns. Let them study in the other wing, since they need music and noise! Personally, I don't need them.

Leading: So you are for separate education? There is a rational grain in this. Secretary, write down: cots and separate education. Who wants to add something substantive? Morkovkin!

Morkovkin: I personally don’t like the fact that our health suffers at school. Do you know the statistics? Complete scoliosis and gastritis. Lisitsyn is right - if not dancing, then they should have built a swimming pool in the assembly hall, or something. And we need a normal human restaurant with normal healthy food, so as not to ruin the stomachs here. There are kebabs and ice cream. Chebureks. The list can be compiled later.

Leading: I think no one has any objections. (Addresses the secretary.) Write down: a restaurant instead of a canteen, a swimming pool instead of an assembly hall. I would add a tennis table to each classroom. Who is next?

Enotov: That's not what we're talking about. After all, it's all peripheral. We come to school and spend the best 11 years of our lives there, and for what? What are we being taught? Dear brothers! I look sadly at the current education system. She is terribly far from the people. Therefore: attention! The school urgently needs to open additional courses in extremely important disciplines. They will study things that are truly necessary for the survival of the student. For example: the best way to cheat, the best way to distract a teacher in class, how to get parents to spend money on them, how to reduce the school load to a minimum, how to spend school time pleasantly and usefully.

Leading: Personally, I respect Enotov because he knows how to think not only constructively, but also within the framework of reality. Since we will be forced to serve this sentence anyway, we must carry it out with minimal losses. Secretary, please record Enotov’s speech almost verbatim! I invite everyone present to think at their leisure what disciplines we really need. So. Next question. What should we do with teachers? Goshkin will make a report.

Goshkin: I actually observed it here, but they, in fact, have gone completely crazy. They give me all sorts of rubbish, my dad ate half a pack of analgin yesterday after he tried to solve my math problems. His mother then lowered his blood pressure. And they're yelling! Why yell? Well, I blurted out yesterday that Vilnius is a breed of kangaroo, so what, who feels bad about it? I suggest that everyone who yells and harasses the house should be kicked out of school.

Koshkin: And who will be left? You, Goshkin, are fundamentally wrong. You need to work with the material that you have. Not to expel, but to re-educate!

Senkina: And I feel sorry for them! We must be patient too! You, Koshkin, especially! Who threw a cockroach into my compote yesterday in the dining room? You still have to re-educate and re-educate yourself!

Goshkin: Ha! It's a pity! Feel sorry for yourself! They are generally our class enemies, one might say!

Leading: Let's avoid class segregation, please. Carry on, Senkina.

Senkina: No, really, just think about it. By 8am every day. You won’t be able to skip much, because adults have even more serious problems in this regard. We tolerate them one at a time, they tolerate us at a rate of thirty at a time. Imagine, Goshkin, that you would have to communicate with thirty teachers for 45 minutes! Horror! Here only from Redkin and Fedkin you can go crazy - you will not only scream, but also start biting! This is any of us, just hit them on the head with a briefcase - and for fifteen minutes you can relax. But such methods are prohibited for teachers.

Koshkin: And my father says that everyone chooses their own destiny. Nobody forced them into school. Unlike us, by the way. Since they have already come, let them be patient.

Senkina: It's good for you to reason! And she, maybe, was a snotty girl when her parents persuaded her to go to ped. Do you know what kind of ancestors there are?! Can't really argue with that. And now she’s old enough to learn a new way, but doesn’t know how to do anything else. Your mother works as a cleaner, has she dreamed of this all her life?

Koshkin: Where will she go with three children? She might even go to school, but who will support her?

Senkina: So are teachers. They got into trouble once, but now they are enduring with all their might. And we, in turn, must show humanity and not become embittered, like you, Goshkin, but find ways to improve relationships and influence gently, delicately.

Leading: Okay, Senkina, everyone understands. You are smart, in short, your task is to organize classes to study teachers and correct their behavioral stereotypes.

Lastochkina: Or maybe we should even give them a vacation? Let them rest a little, and at the same time become better.

Leading: They would be happy, but who will allow them? They have the same attendance and program.

Lastochkina: Why can’t we teach the lesson ourselves? Let them slowly make their way to school, sit in the back desk, and we will all tell them what is supposed to happen there. Let them relax for at least a week or two. And some of them are really painful to look at—they’re so twitchy, they’re crying like a madhouse.

Leading: Personally, I don't mind. Who agrees? Let's write it down. How do we present this to them?

Senkina: Let's come up with something!

Leading: OK. I believe that we had a useful meeting today. Will be working.

Everyone leaves.

Part 2

There are two people on stage - the Presenter and Senkina.

Leading: Dear teachers! We are extremely happy to congratulate you on the upcoming Teacher's Day! On this solemn day, we want to tell you how much we love you and how grateful we are to you for everything you do for us.

Senkina: Dear teachers! We know how tired you are from your hard work. That's why we have prepared a surprise for you. We are in a hurry to please you! You don't have to prepare for lessons for the next two weeks! Because we will lead them for you... we! And you will rest quietly and calmly in the back desks. Like your laziest students.

Leading: And we promise not to shame you, not to call your parents to school.

Senkina: Don't clutter your head with overwhelming tasks.

Leading: Don't pick on your appearance.

Senkina: You might even be late!

Leading: And skip classes!

Senkina: No, of course, we will try to make your classes interesting. But we won’t force you!

Leading: We also wish you all:

All(one by one):

- Happiness!

- Health!

- Energy!

- Courage!

- Have a good mood!

- Capable students!

- Responsible parents!

— Loyal administration!

- Optimism!

- And a big salary!

All(in chorus): Happy holiday!

Boys in fluffy skirts come out, dance the cancan and sing a comic song to the melody of an operetta.

It’s impossible to live in the world without school, no.

It contains the happiness of life,

In it the dawn of fate.

Teachers teach us here

Me, you, you, me.

They and I are connected by the same fate.

You and I have been coming here since childhood,

School has replaced our home,

We come here every day.

We congratulate you on this holiday,

With all my heart and soul now

We will play and sing

About how fun we live.

We will play and sing

About how fun, how happily we live.

Sketch for schoolchildren

THEATER PERFORMANCE “RING SHOW”

There are two teams on stage. In front of one is a sign that says “Parents” in big letters, and in front of the other is “Teachers.”

Leading: Attention attention! Our microphone is installed at the parent meeting of the Nth school. Team of teachers versus team of parents. Who will win? So, dear fans, who are we rooting for? Yes, my parents, but I also feel sorry for the teachers... So, let's start!

1st teacher: Dear comrade parents! We invited you today to report on new outrages committed by your children.

1st parent: Dear fellow teachers! Our houses are located next to your school, and we see with our own eyes what your students afford.

2nd teacher: Your children.

2nd parent: Your students.

3rd teacher: I wonder who brings frogs from home and makes them croak in class?

3rd parent: And who forces children to saw the legs of chairs at home, supposedly doing their homework?

4th teacher: What if you do all your homework for your children?

4th parent: You assign stupid tasks and want the children to become smarter!

5th teacher: Yeah, but how wise you are! Who gives children prizes for good grades? I just wonder how many of our fives your salary is enough for?

5th parent: And our settlements with children do not concern you.

6th teacher: Have you seen what your children did to the walls of the school?

6th parent: Who taught them to write?

7th teacher: And the sloppy ones!

7th parent: Look at your school! In general, it’s high time to organize parking. Otherwise, when you come to pick up your child, there is nowhere to park the car.

8th teacher: It would have been a good idea to help the school improve the grounds a long time ago.

8th parent: Your students...

9th teacher: Your children!

Leading: Stop, it's a draw, the question remains open.

The skit “Whose help is better?”

King.

Alina, Polina, Evelina are the daughters of the king.

King(to daughters). Today I walked through our palace and was simply horrified: a complete mess! Books are lying on the floor, shoes are on the windowsills, and clothes are on the beds! And everywhere there are candy wrappers! So I decided to start cleaning today. And I want to ask you: how will you help me?

Alina. This is how I will help. When you start cleaning, I will turn on the record player and put on your favorite record “Kings Can Do Anything.” This fun song will have you cleaning in no time!

Pauline. I'd better turn on the TV. The program “Visiting a Fairy Tale” will be shown there. I will watch it carefully and retell everything to you. And you will clean the entire palace fabulously quickly!

King(turning to Evelina with a sigh). What will you turn on?

Evelina. I'll turn on the vacuum cleaner. No, first I'll put all the things in their places. Then I’ll take a broom and sweep away all the trash. Then I will remove the dust with a vacuum cleaner. After this, I will wipe the window sills and all furniture with a damp cloth. And when everything is clean, we will all sit down together and watch TV.

King. Well, now I found out that I only have one real assistant!

Scene “At the Doctor’s”

Characters

A student with a briefcase stands in front of the doctor's office. He is undecided.

Student. What to do? To go or not to go? What if he kicks you out? No I'm not going. Yes, but what about the test? No, we have to go. Was not! (He takes a towel out of his briefcase and ties it around his head. Then he knocks on the door.)

Doctor. Yes, yes, come in!

Student(enters). Can?

Doctor(writes something, then stops writing, looks at the student). Come in, come in, sit down. What are you complaining about?

Student. Feeling very unwell.

Doctor. Specifically, what hurts?

Student. Head. Stomach. My ear is blocked. I don't hear anything and I don't understand anything. Then there is dizziness, blood pressure and palpitations.

Doctor. The temperature is?

Student. Yes, yes! Thirty eight and eight. Or forty-four and four. I do not remember.

Doctor. It's clear. Do you remember your last name?

Student. No, I don’t remember... I forgot.

Doctor. And forgot your name too?

Student. Yeah. And patronymic. Because my head hurts.

Doctor. I also forgot what class you are in and what school?

Student. Class... I think sixth grade. And I completely forgot about school.

Doctor. OK. Open your horn wider and say: “Ah-ah.”

Student. Ah-algebra.

Doctor. What is "algebra"? Is there a test today?

Student. No, tomorrow. Oh, no, I don't remember.

Doctor. Hmm yeah. (Looks at the student over his glasses.) A very difficult case! You can't go to school. I'll have to stay at home for two weeks.

Student(delighted). At home?

Student. What about English?

Doctor. It is forbidden!

Student. What about geography?

Doctor. In no case!

Student. Can I go to the cinema?

Doctor. Didn't I say? Necessarily! Twice a day - morning and afternoon!

Student. Thank you very much!

Doctor. Cheers! All. You can go.

Student. Goodbye. Oh, and a certificate?

Doctor. What certificate?

Student. Exemption from school. You didn't give it to me!

Doctor. Ah, liberation. No, unfortunately, nothing will work out!

Student. Why?

Doctor. How can I write you a certificate if I don’t know your first or last name, or the school where you study!

Student. Oh, I think I'm starting to remember.

Doctor. Well done! What's the last name?

Student. Kitties.

Student. Vasya! That is, Vasily Egorovich.

Doctor. Very good, now remember your class, school.

Student. Sixth “b” grade, school number twenty-five.

Doctor. Now remember about algebra.

Student. What algebra?

Doctor. About the one on which there is a test tomorrow. Do you remember?

Student. I remembered.

Doctor. Amazing! See how quickly you recovered for me! And you don’t even need any certificate! Or is it still necessary? For the headmaster of school number twenty-five?

Student. No need.

Doctor. Then bye. Kotikov Vasily Egorovich. Yes, don’t forget to take the turban off your head, it doesn’t suit you!

The student takes the towel off his head and leaves.

Scene “Grandmothers and grandchildren”

Characters

Two grandmothers.

First grandmother. Hello, my dear! Let's go for a walk in the park.

Second grandmother. Why, I haven’t done my homework yet.

First grandmother. Which lessons?

Second grandmother. Nowadays it’s fashionable to do homework for your grandchildren. I want to try it, although it’s probably not pedagogical.

First grandmother. Why is this not pedagogical? Yes, I’ve been doing homework for my grandchildren all my life. If you have anything, ask me, I have a lot of experience.

Second grandmother. Well, if it’s not difficult, check how I learned the poem: “By the Lukomorye there is a green oak tree, a golden chain on that oak tree...”

First grandmother. So good.

Second grandmother. “...Both day and night, a learned dog...”

First grandmother. What other dog?

Second grandmother. Well, I don't know what breed he is, maybe a Doberman Pinscher?

First grandmother. Yes, not a dog, but a learned cat! Understood?

Second grandmother. Ahh, I got it, I got it! Well, then I’ll start first: “Near the Lukomorye there is a green oak tree, a golden chain on that oak tree, day and night a learned cat... goes to the grocery store with a string bag.”

First grandmother. With what string bag? Which grocery store? Learn the poem again.

Second grandmother. Oh, I still have so many lessons! One grandson is in the sixth grade, and the other is in the first. His teacher asked him to bring the cash register to school.

First grandmother. Which cash register? From the store, or what? Don't involve me in this matter!

Second grandmother. Well, what does this have to do with the store? The cash register is the alphabet. Okay, I’ll do it myself, and you help me solve the problem.

First grandmother. So... (takes the textbook, reads) “... two pipes are connected to the bathtub...” Remember, in order to solve the problem, you need to clearly imagine what it says. “There are two rough connections connected to the bathroom...” - did you imagine?

Second grandmother. Yes, yes, I did.

First grandmother.“...Water pours in through one, pours out through the other.” Did you imagine?

Second grandmother. Presented! (Running away.) I imagined!

First grandmother. Wait! Where are you running to?

Second grandmother. The water is pouring out! Maybe the whole floor will be flooded...

First grandmother. Calm down. In fact, the water does not pour out. This is only mentioned in the problem! Now tell me, when will the bath be filled?

Second grandmother. It will never be filled. They said it themselves - the water doesn’t flow...

First grandmother. Goodbye. You will go to the hospital with you. And my homework has not yet been done: I need to conduct an experiment in botany - grow beans.

Second grandmother. Oh, yes, yes, I remember you took beans from me.

First grandmother. Why, these beans are not growing! Apparently of poor quality...

Second grandmother. How low quality? Well, do good to people! You could say that she tore the beans away from herself and took them out of the soup.

First grandmother. Wait, wait, how - from soup? It turns out I was the one who grew the boiled beans? Thank you for being friendly...

Second grandmother. Well, I didn’t know why you needed beans, don’t be offended!

First grandmother. What do you think, if you and I continue to study so hard, maybe they’ll give us some kind of grade?

Second grandmother(whispers). Between us, it has already been installed.

First grandmother. Yes? And what is the assessment?

Second grandmother."Kol"!

First grandmother. Why such a bad rating?

Second grandmother. Because we are minding our own business.

First grandmother. Adults do everything for the children, and then they are surprised: “Oh, they are growing up with little white hands!..”

The old ladies are leaving.

Scene “The Enchanted Letter”

Characters

Denis. One day Alenka, Mishka and I were playing in the yard. It was before the New Year. A Christmas tree was brought to our yard. She lay there big, furry, and smelled so deliciously of frost that we stood there like fools and smiled. And suddenly Alenka said:

Alenka. Look, there are DETECTIVES hanging on the Christmas tree!

Denis. Mishka and I just rolled!

bear. Oh, I'll die laughing! Detective!

Denis. Well, it gives: detective work!

Bear. The girl is five years old, but she says “detective.” Oh, I can't! Oh, I feel bad! Oh, water! Give me some water quickly! I'm about to faint! (Falls and laughs.)

Denis. Oh, I even started hiccupping from laughter! Ick! Ick! I'll probably die now! The girl is already five years old, soon to be married off, and she is a detective!

Alenka(offended). Did I say correctly! It’s my tooth that has fallen out and is whistling. I want to say “detective”, but I whistle “detective”.

bear. Just think! Her tooth fell out!.. I have three that have fallen out and one that is loose, but I still speak correctly. Listen here: giggles! What? Isn't that great? GIGGLES! I can even sing:

Mikhail clubfoot

Walking through the forest

Khykhki collects

And he puts it in his pocket.

Alenka(shouting). Ah-ah-ah! Wrong! Hooray! You say “hykhki”, but you should say “detective”!

bear. No, you have to - “hey”!

Alenka. No, detectives!

Bear. No, heck!

Alenka. No, detectives! (Obarevut.)

Denis. I laughed so hard that I even got hungry. I'll go home now. These are the weirdos! Why are they arguing so much, since both are wrong? It's a very simple word. No “sleuths”, no “huffs”, but short and clear: “fucks”! That's all.

Based on materials from the film magazine “Yeralash”

Sketch “Day of Helping Parents”

Characters

Anton. Mother.

Three of Anton's classmates.

Anton appears on the stage. He wipes off the dust with a rag, sweeps the floor with a brush, while dancing and singing: “My baby, I miss you...”.

Mom comes in wearing outerwear and freezes in place.

Mother. Anton, what happened?

Anton. Nothing happened, mom. Let me help you undress. (Helps me take off my jacket.)

Mom enters the room and notices that the dust has been wiped off.

Mother. Have you wiped off the dust? Myself?

Anton. Myself.

Mother. Tell me honestly, Anton, what happened?

Anton. Nothing happened.

Mother. Am I called to school?

Anton. No...

Mom walks around the room and notices that the floor has been swept.

Mother. Have you swept the floor? Myself?! Incredible... (Puts her hand to her forehead, checking to see if she has a fever.)

Anton. Mom, don't worry. I washed the dishes and did my homework.

Mother. I did my homework... I beg you, Anton, tell me what happened? (Grabs his heart and sits down on a chair.)

Anton. Well, I’m telling you: nothing happened! The doorbell rings. Three children enter.

1st. Good evening! How was Helping Parents Day?

2nd. So, cleanliness, order. Wiped off the dust, swept the floor...

3rd(opens the magazine). Check mark! (Ticks the box with a pencil.)

Anton. Helping Parents Day, Helping Parents Day! Look what your Helping Parents Day has brought people to! (Points to mom.)

Children surround their mother on all sides.

1st(vigorously). Valerian! Water! (Counts the drops.) 23, 24, 25! (Gives mom a drink.) How nervous all mothers are! It was necessary to first explain that this was just for one day and tomorrow everything would be the same!

Sketch “About the kitten who couldn’t read”

Characters

Yasha is a kitten.

One day Murka's cat, Yasha's mother, said to the kitten:

Murka. It's time for you, Yasha, to learn to read.

Yasha. I'll still have time!

Murka. There's no point in being lazy. Let's start right now. Sit down, I'll show you the letters.

Yasha reluctantly sits down.

Murka. Let's start with the simplest letter - "O". (Shows the letter "O".)

Yasha. Some kind of circle...

Murka. Yes, it looks like a circle. This letter is called "O". Repeat!

Yasha. This letter is called "O". What words contain this letter?

Murka. In many. For example, in the words “cat” and “cat”. (Shows cards with words written on them.)

Yasha. What about the word “kitten”?

Murka. And in the word “kitten” there are even two letters “O”. Here look. (Shows a card with a written word.)

Yasha. See see! Two mugs! How about three? Are there three letters "O" in words?

Murka. Certainly. There is such a good word - “milk”. (Shows card.)

Yasha. Is it true! Three whole circles! Does the word “ice cream” have this letter?

Murka. Eat. And also three. Here look. (Shows card.)

Yasha. Good word! And in two ice creams, that means there are six letters “O”. And at three...

Murka. Don't talk nonsense! And in general, we don’t have arithmetic now! That's all for today. Go for a walk!

Yasha. What a good letter! And it happens in the best words! And the most delicious!

Yasha approaches the screen on which hangs a sign with the inscription: “Caution! Angry dog!"

Yasha. What a beautiful sign! And there are three words written on it... And in the first word there are whole... one, two, three, four... Wow!

As many as four letters "O"! Wow! There must be something very tasty or pleasant here!..

The kitten looks behind the screen. A deafening bark can be heard from there. Yasha jumps out from behind the screen, tears off the sign and runs to his mother.

Murka(seeing Yasha excited). What happened to you? Why are you so disheveled and shaking all over? What's happened?

Yasha. Mom, I was walking, I saw a fence, there was a beautiful sign hanging on the fence (hands the sign to mom), three words were written on it, and in the first word there were as many as four letters “O”! I thought that there must be something very tasty or pleasant there...

Murka. So! I understand everything! This is what happens when you can't read! Do you know what is written on this sign? "Carefully! Angry dog!".

Yasha. Yes, it’s written correctly, the dog is really angry... You know what, mom, let’s learn the rest of the letters!

Sketch “Word Game”

Characters

Petya is a son.

Two boys - one older, the other younger - go on stage and sit on chairs. In hands - pictures and pencils.

Peter. Dad, draw me something.

Dad. No, we will take turns drawing and playing words at the same time.

Peter. Like this?

Dad. That's how. We will come up with words starting with some letter and depict these words with pictures. Let's take the letter "P" for example. I start. (Draws a briefcase and shows.)

Peter. It's clear. And I’ll draw... (draws a steam locomotive).

Dad. Well done! The locomotive is like a real one! And I came up with this... (draws and shows a belt).

Peter. But you can't wear a belt! He doesn't start with the letter "P"!

Dad. And this is not a belt, but a belt!

Peter. Great idea! Then I’ll draw... (draws and shows a cat).

Dad. But you can’t have a cat, it doesn’t start with the letter “P”!

Peter. And this is not just a cat, but Fluff!

Dad. Oh, you cunning one! Fine. I will draw... (draws and shows a portrait).

Peter. Who is this?

Dad. It's nobody. It's just a portrait.

Peter. Great. And I’ll draw... (draws and shows his uncle).

Dad. And who is this?

Peter. It's nobody. This is just a passerby.

Dad. Well done! And I'll draw a parrot. (Draws and shows.)

Peter. Great! And I'll draw a penguin. (Draws and shows.)

Dad. Look. (Shows the boy shown in the picture.)

Peter. Who is this? If it's a boy, it doesn't count.

Dad. Didn't you find out? After all, it’s Petya, that is, you!

Peter. Now I know! And I’ll draw... (draws and shows his uncle).

Dad. Who is this? If it's an uncle, it doesn't count!

Peter. Didn't you find out? It's dad, that is, you!

Dad. Now I know. And here's what I came up with. (Draws and shows a woman.) This is our mother. I drew her because she is a teacher and teaches singing.

Peter. Great! And this is what I came up with! (Draws and shows a calendar.)

Dad. Calendar? Why?

Dad. Right. And on this day we will present her... (draws a gift and flowers).

Peter. A gift is understandable. And the flowers? They don't start with the letter "P"...

Dad. So what? Mom will be pleased anyway!

Funny scenes about school become the decoration of almost every children's holiday. KVN held within our own walls, a New Year's party, the birth of a school - you never know the wonderful reasons to have fun!

We are pleased to offer you a selection of several scenes that will help create a festive mood.

Short dialogues

The little ones about school offered here do not require decorations or memorization of long texts at all.

One student sleepily says to another:

I must be allergic!

Why do you say that?

Yes, I cover myself with a blanket and sleep all the time!

Two students after a geography lesson:

I still don't believe the Earth rotates!

Why so?

Yes, if it had been spinning, the sea would have splashed out long ago!

The poor student angrily tells his friend:

You imagine? The teacher demanded that I name the simplest thing that reproduces by division! I'm not good at math at all!

In the computer class

The following funny scenes about school also do not require special decorations. Only the latter will require an imitation of a computer lab.

A stupid high school girl, showing off, looks at the tablet as if at a mirror:

My light, mirror, tell me! Tell me the whole truth! Am I the cutest in the world? Everyone is slimmer and more fashionable?

Mirror (drawn out, but angrily):

I'll give you my answer! You frazzled me out! I am a tablet!

A student asks the teacher:

Ivan Ivanovich, did you have a tablet as a child?

No, what are you talking about, there were no computers then!

What did you play on?

On the street!

The cleaning lady comes into the computer class and sternly asks:

Who here knows how to use computers?

All students, without exception, answer: “I.”

Cleaning lady (threateningly):

Then immediately go online and look for a site that teaches you how to use the toilet!

Sketch for a school anniversary: ​​funny and not very long

This scene requires only characteristic features from the actors. The “nerd” should wear glasses and speak sternly, while the girl and her friend should look silly, cutesy and enthusiastic.

A guy who looks like a typical “nerd” tells his friend:

Can you imagine, Tomka called me home to see what was wrong with her computer! I come, and she, apparently, cannot sit in one place at all! The chair is spinning, so the cord is wrapped around the chair leg. I cursed, untangled the cord, inserted the plug that had popped out, turned on her computer and left.

Tomochka, rolling her eyes, enthusiastically tells her classmate:

Oh, this Lyutikov can also do magic!

What are you doing?!

Well, yes, he came to me, looked intently at the computer, raised his hands up, whispered something mystical, turned my chair 10 times counterclockwise, kicked the computer, whispered something mystical again and left. Imagine, everything worked!

Classmate, admiringly:

Wow! Witch!

Very funny scenes about school

After an explanation in a science lesson, the teacher asks the class:

Well, now do you understand why it snows in winter and not in summer?

Petrov, from the spot:

Of course, understandable! If it fell in the summer, it would melt!

During a Russian language lesson, the teacher says:

Petrov, “I’m studying, you’re studying, he’s studying” - what time is this?

Petrov, with a sigh:

Lost, Mary Ivanna!

Friends come up to an excellent student and say:

Andryukha, let's go to a cafe with the girls tonight!

Andrey, thinking:

No, I won't go with you! There the music is blaring, everyone is making noise...

So what?

Yes, I doubt that in such a situation I will be able to fully understand the essence of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral.

Skits for younger schoolchildren

The following funny scenes are for elementary school. They can be successfully shown at a children's party. True, high school students will have to help their younger comrades in this.

A high school student says to his friends:

Look how stupid this first-grader is! I'll show you now!

He calls the baby and, when he approaches, says to him:

In this hand I have 50 rubles, and in this hand I have 10 - what will you take for yourself?

The kid takes 10 rubles. The high school students laugh, twirl their fingers at their temples, and spread their arms.

A friend of a first-grader asks him on the sidelines:

Why did you choose 10 rubles?

Well, if I choose 50, then the game will be over!

A first-grader examines a manicure from a high school girl (admiringly):

Wow, your nails are so long!

A high school girl, simpering:

What, do you like it?

Well, yes! They must be so convenient for climbing trees!

Mom looks at the first-grader's diary. And there the two is crossed out, and there is a four next to it. Mom, with horror:

Vanechka! What it is?!

Vanechka, calmly looking at his mother:

The teacher told us that if we want, we can correct the bad grade!

Skits with teachers

You can play the following funny short skits about school yourself, or you can invite teachers to participate in them.

Conversation with the teacher:

Sidorkin, didn’t you promise me that you would correct your bad grade?

Yes, Mary Ivanna.

Didn’t I promise to call your parents if you didn’t do this?

Yes, Mary Ivanna, but if I didn’t keep my promise, then you don’t have to keep yours either!

The teacher looks sternly at the latecomer:

Semyon! You're late again! What is it this time?

Semyon, it's my fault:

Mary Ivanna, I woke up, looked at what time it was, and blinked unsuccessfully.

The music teacher addresses mommy:

Your daughter needs to play the piano more!

Mommy, sighing heavily:

Lord, so much more! Our seventh neighbor has already moved out!

Dreams Dreams...

These little ones about school will require minimal scenery to show that the kids have left school, although these conversations can also take place during recess. It all depends on the director’s imagination.

Sidorov, sighing heavily, walks home from school. Ivanov asks him:

Sidorov, what are you doing? Did you get a two?

Sidorov sadly:

And he adds dreamily:

Can you imagine how much easier it would be to learn if a theorem in geometry could be proven with the words: “Well, you can see!”

The guy dreamily: “It would be great if we could read minds!” Then I would know what to answer in class!”

His friend: “Yeah, and I would also know what the teacher thinks when you answer incorrectly!”

Romantic relationship

Of course, funny short scenes about school cannot ignore how unexpectedly sometimes sympathy between boys and girls appears at school.

Vovochka escorts Masha home from school and says to her hesitantly:

Listen, Masha, I want to confess to you (pause), (he then speaks quickly) while you were walking to the board, I tore the wings off a fly and threw it into your briefcase! I'm sorry!

Masha, narrowing her eyes slyly:

I wonder if it tastes good?

Vovochka is confused:

I don’t know... Why are you asking?

Masha calmly:

Yes, I also want to apologize! I threw it in your soup in the dining room while you were going for bread!

Let's laugh a little more

Even the funniest scenes about school are often taken directly from life, so the organizers of the holiday can come up with something similar themselves.

During a Russian language lesson, Vovochka asks his neighbor at his desk:

Do you hear how to say correctly: cottage cheese or cottage cheese?

A neighbor, adjusting his glasses, looking smart:

Emphasis on "o"!

Vovochka, after a pause:

Thank you! Helped me out, really helped me out!

A classmate (who looks like an excellent student) says, sighing:

Yes, Lozhkin, you are not at all friendly with your head!

Lozhkin, shrugging his shoulders:

But I have a purely business relationship with her - I feed her, and she thinks!

Conversation with the teacher

Funny skits about school - whether you are organizing KVN or other fun events - are not complete without dialogues similar to those given below.

A teacher talks to a fashionably dressed high school student:

Lerochka, well done, you stopped being late for school!

Yes, Mary Ivanna, it’s all because of my mother.

Did she have an educational conversation with you?

No, she just bought herself some gorgeous Italian boots!

So what?

Like what? Now I get up first so I can put them on before mom! (Proudly walks away)

The teacher throws up her hands.

An elderly teacher sighs and says to her colleague:

I'll probably have to quit!

What are you saying? You are the best teacher in school!

I was completely overworked... I get on the tram in the morning, it’s full of people, I look up and say sternly: “Hello, sit down!”

Funny? Of course it's funny!

Funny skits about school are good because they are easy to perform and do not require exhausting rehearsals. The main thing is that your cheerful mood is conveyed to the audience!

Mitya, do you know what the word “super” means?

Well, yes, this is something so big that it cannot be bigger.

What about “hyper”?

And “hyper”... (Mitya rubs his forehead) Oh! This is what is more “super”!

Girls dancing at a disco:

Listen, don’t you know what mosol is?

Well, this is such a huge bone, they also put it in borscht. Why are you asking?

Yes, I heard a cool song here: “You my heart, You my soul...”

Music from a famous song performed by the group Modern Talking begins to sound on stage.

Petka with a huge “lantern” under his eye and his friend:

Petka, why are you covered in bruises?

Played snowballs with a girl!

So what?

So, it turns out, she’s from the youth handball team! And these guys don’t miss!

Incident in the locker room

Some funny scenes about school require the participation of extras. But they still won’t be difficult to stage.

The girls scream and drag the reluctant guy. The teacher stops them:

Stop! What's happened?!

One of the girls indignantly:

Lyutikov spied on us in the locker room!

The teacher, looking sternly at Lyutikov:

So what, did you like it?

Lyutikov is silent in confusion, then loudly says:

Girls in chorus, drawn out and offended:

How not?!

All funny scenes about school, as you understand, should be played sincerely and seriously. Minimal decorations won't hurt either.

You can place, for example, two desks and a blackboard on the stage to recreate the appearance of a classroom. If events happen during recess or on the way home, you can fantasize. For the “road home”, one tree or bench is enough. And a situation taking place in a school corridor can be played out in front of a large window in the background.

The main thing in these scenes is not to overload them with decorations. They are short, and therefore the emphasis should be on what the actor is saying, and not on what surrounds him at that moment.

To arrange skits in one concert, you can invite a presenter who will tell the audience where a given situation is happening. Fantasize, and your holiday will definitely be remembered and make the most wonderful impression!

(After a short ringing, the door opens. A middle-aged woman stands there, dressed modestly, in a long skirt. In her hands are brochures and books. She quietly repeats the memorized text under her breath)

Woman: Hello, tell me, do you believe in God? If you are having difficulties in life, you don’t know who to turn to...

(At the same time, her head slowly rises. The woman screams and faints. A demon with horns and a trident in his hands is standing on the threshold. Loud music is heard from the apartment, a guy in an angel costume runs out)

Angel: Listen, of course, I understand everything, it’s Halloween, but let’s not open the door anymore, otherwise the third fainting spell in the evening is too much...

Please fill us up, but at a higher price, at least every day!

(There is a knock on the door, a man is standing on the threshold, an alcoholic opens it for him)

Neighbor: Listen, you're flooding us!
Alcoholic: (hiccupping) How long ago?
Neighbor: Of course, a long time ago.
Alcoholic: Why didn’t you come earlier?
Neighbor: Because before, high-quality whiskey flowed from my ceiling, but now only cheap port! Do something about it.

An experienced massage therapist doesn’t care who comes for treatments

There is a knock on the door and a healthy middle-aged man opens it. On the threshold, a woman in a tight dress with bright makeup sticks out her leg.

Woman: Well, dear, I’m coming to you.
Man: Of course, I understand that there would be a lot of work for me here, but you are unlikely to come to me.
Woman: What, am I really not suitable?
Man: No, what are you talking about, your brisket is really okay, legs and thighs too, although the sirloin part let us down, but that’s okay. The masseur doesn't care. His door is next door, you are mistaken.
Woman: Who are you then?
Man: I'm a butcher, madam.

If Stalin had the Internet in ancient times

(A guy with a laptop bursts into Stalin’s office and busily places it on the table)
Stalin: What is this?
Guy: Internet
Stalin: And what do I need it for?
Guy: What's that like? Everything is written about everyone here.
Stalin: Come on, tell me, when will the war end?
Guy: (entering a request) May 9 next year.
Stalin: Hmm, good date, spring, I should write it down. What about our nuclear development?
Guy: Wikipedia says that the development of the first atomic bomb will end only in 1949.
Stalin: Okay, we won't have to wait long. Well, is there anything about me there?
Guy: Of course there is, Comrade Stalin! It is written: Joseph Vissarionovich was a state leader until his death in 1953...
Stalin: Whaaaat? What kind of death? Shoot!
Guy: But why me? That's what it says on the Internet.
Stalin: Who's in charge?
Guy: But there is no main thing, everything is on its own.
Stalin: Security, exile him to the Urals, no computers or Internet!

(The guy is taken away)

Stalin: Look, what young people have gone. In itself they have everything. Now I’ll write to Lavrenty Pavlovich, let him shoot the hackers, stop the production of computers, and let him direct all his efforts to atomic development.

Stalin always keeps his word and is ready for decisive action

(Stalin sits at the table with his entourage, 6 people in total. He takes out a chess piece from his bosom)

Stalin: You all know that the situation in our country is not easy. Therefore, I decided to choose a successor from among you, in case of emergency. The one who takes this figurine will become him.

(Throws the chess set on the table, those close to her rush to her, except for one. After grunting and confusion, the winner stands up with the piece held high.)

Stalin: Ay, well done! Send everyone to exile in Siberia, and you will be their boss. Stalin always keeps his word. And you (points to the one who remained sitting) will be shot. For lack of initiative! Security, take everyone away!

The best funny scenes for a fun company

Read the classics and become a fatal seductress

(A modestly dressed woman, clearly educated and intelligent, addresses a consultant in a bookstore)

Woman: Please tell me, do you have anything...well...how can I say this...well, something on such topics, you know...very intimate and frank...advice in general?

Seller: Of course there is, here you go “The Best Sex Lessons: How to Become a Seductress.”

Woman: I just have a daughter, she’s dating a boy. And they seem to be reading the classics, but don’t get me wrong, because I’m a mother, I’m worried.

Saleswoman: You would have said so right away, here you go!

(He takes out the volume “War and Peace.” The woman begins to leaf through the book, and among the pages we see packages of condoms. The woman looks at the saleswoman with wide open eyes, and she winks at her and nods)

What do young and old people buy in a bookstore?

(Scene in a bookstore. Cookery section)

Seller: Hello, how can I help you?
Buyer: Good afternoon. I'm looking for a book, it's called "About Tasty and Healthy Food."
Seller: You know, it is sold in two volumes. Which one do you need?
Buyer: Is there a fundamental difference?
Seller: Well, of course. The first volume is more often read by young people, it is called “About Tasty Food”, but the second volume is of interest to older people, it is called “On Healthy Food”.

Who will go to work and do things?

(Scene in a cell phone store. The salesman is showing the latest phone models to the customer)

Seller: Look, this model is very comfortable. This phone broadcasts everything you see directly to the Internet.
Buyer: What, and even from the bathroom?

Seller: Well, of course! Very cool, isn't it? But this model is suitable for those who really like to give likes. It has a keyboard that you can always carry with you, and a projector to see everything on any surface.
Buyer: Well, yes, and its price is appropriate, like a car...

Seller: Well, if this price doesn’t suit you, I can offer you a stunning model! There is everything, even a folding knife, a bill acceptor, a folding tent and a survival kit.
Buyer: How can I make calls from it?

Seller: Why would you call from him? This function was removed as unnecessary.
Buyer: No, this doesn’t suit me at all, goodbye.

Seller: No, wait! The best option for you from the popular pear company! This phone can do everything, it will even go to work for you!

Dad can do anything and more

(A young guy comes to the pharmacy where his father works)

Guy: Dad, hi, today the guys and I are going to the cottage.
Dad: Ha-ha, yes, yes, son, I understand, do you need anything with you?

Guy: Well, yes, you remember what happened last time... Come on, so that now there is enough for everyone, otherwise the girls will start squealing that they have been ruined all the fun, and the guys won’t like this situation either.
Dad: Olesya! Bring the largest pack of condoms from the warehouse. (The queue is warily watching what is happening.) And also bring a couple of bottles of iodine and brilliant green.

Guy: Do you think this is enough?
Dad: This time there will definitely be enough balloons for everyone, go blow them up and color them!

What kind of old ladies are there in queues these days?

(A scene in a pharmacy. There is a huge line, a wizened old woman comes up from behind, looks at all the people, tries to squeeze through, but they don’t let her in. Then she calmly takes out a mask-hat, puts it on, then a gun appears from her purse)

Old lady: Everyone on the floor, don’t move! This is a robbery!

(The line falls to the floor with a squeal, the old woman takes off her mask and confidently approaches the cash register)

Old lady: I’d like a couple of bottles of Corvalol, please, and two packs of Validol. Look what kind of people they are, you can’t survive without a gun!

We entertain guests with original skits

Try these funny and short children's skits for 2 people.

Burglars can also make mistakes and mix up apartments

(The room is dark, two robbers suddenly appear, lighting their way with flashlights, talking in a whisper)

First: It seems that everything is correct. The apartment is good, there is something to live on.
Second: Well, yes, gold, dishes, that chandelier... just like at my house. The owner is clearly wealthy.
First: Look, the plasma is huge! I've always wanted one like this!
Second: Give up this plasma, they cost a penny now, but they work every other time, I have the same one at home.
(He comes up, presses the buttons, nothing happens)
He's not working either. Let's look for the safe.

First: Already found it. The castle is complicated, I've never seen anything like it, we'll be fiddling around for a long time.
Second: Long... long... Give it here. (Confidently types the code, the safe opens)
First: Look how clever you are with him, have you met anyone like him before?
Second: (Sighs) Turn on the light, come on.
First: Why?
Second: This is my safe. Turn it on, I say.

The first robber turns on the light and spreads his hands.

How can you quickly get to your doctor?

(A wife and her husband make their way to the dentist’s office. The husband has a swollen cheek bandaged. He mumbles and whines listlessly)

Husband: Well, look at the queue here, we definitely won’t get in today, let’s better go tomorrow.
Wife: Just wait, stop whining, now I’ll do everything.
Husband: Well, maybe it’s not necessary, I can be patient. It hurts less now, really, look.
Wife: I said that today means today. Wait.

(She pushes everyone away and breaks into the office, her voice can be heard from there)

Wife: What are you doing? Who taught you anyway? The instruments are completely dull, they are not disinfected, the assistant generally sleeps!

(Heart-rending female screams can be heard, the line to the office is slowly thinning, the husband sits white-faced, the wife leaves the office and addresses her husband in a hoarse voice)

Wife: Well, you see, I said that you will see a doctor today. Come on, come in. I’ll rush to the otolaryngologist, otherwise I’ve lost my voice.

When can hypnosis be useful in family life?

Option one:
(A woman enters a psychologist's office)

Woman: Hello. Last week my husband and I had a hypnosis session with you, remember? You also convinced him that he is a dog. So, this is still going on, can you help us?
Psychologist: I understand, bring him here, let’s return him to the image of a person.

Woman: No, you know, overall I’m happy with everything. The house is quiet, he is affectionate, plays with me, kisses me all the time, doesn’t drink, doesn’t watch football, doesn’t even plan to go fishing.

Woman: Make him stop dragging fleas from the street!

Option two:
(A man enters a psychologist's office)

Man: Hello. Last week my wife and I attended a hypnosis session with you. You convinced her that she is a cat, and this continues to this day. Can you help us please?
Psychologist: I understand, bring your wife here, let's return her to a human image.

Man: No, you know, in general, everything suits me. No screaming, no hysterics, I can easily drink beer with friends, she even let me go fishing.
Psychologist: And what is the problem then?

Man: Make her stop licking herself! And these hairballs are just disgusting!

Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish the patient from the psychiatrist

(The patient comes to see a psychiatrist)

Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality
Doctor: And who are they?
Patient: One is me, and the second is you.
Doctor: So, do both exist?
Patient: Well, of course!
Doctor: Well, you're probably sick. And what does the second personality tell you?
Patient: That I'm sick and that you don't exist.
Doctor: How can I not exist if this is me?
Patient: But according to your logic, one of us shouldn’t exist.
Doctor: Can you see me?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: And I see you. Yes, something is not well with me...
Patient: Then give me a certificate that I am healthy.
Doctor: Yes, of course. And come see me tomorrow. Both.

The perfect girl will become your best friend

(Scene in a therapist's office, a patient enters with a deflated rubber doll under his arm)

Patient: Hello, doctor, my girlfriend and I are having problems.
Doctor: Where is your girlfriend?

Patient: Well, there she is. Everything was wonderful before, but now she is somehow sad, drooping, and out of shape. I don't know what to do. First I was referred to a psychiatrist. But for some reason they tried to treat me, not her. But everything is fine with me. Help us please.

Doctor: But do you understand that your girlfriend is rubber? And I treat people, living people, you know?

Patient: Why is it worse?! Beautiful, well-groomed, modest and quiet. She agrees with everything, never gets on my nerves, puts on what I want, puts on makeup the way I like. She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and has no friends. Doesn't change. Lets me drink beer and watch football.

(The doctor takes the doll, inflates it, returns it to the nervous patient)
Doll: Thank you. Honey, let's go to bed!

Patient: Thank you very much, I knew that you would help us!
Doctor: Eh, people are lucky. But I was a fool, I got married, and I remain a fool.

Funny short skits - fun ideas

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