Jokes, funny phrases and cool expressions. Cool Material Phrases and Expressions Cool Expressions

From time to time, each of us needs to hear funny words to smile. Therefore, in search of a good mood, we are resorting to various collections of cool expressions and phrases. When you are cheerful - the whole world smiles to you in response.

New cool expressions and funny phrases to raise mood

• People want a good life, and they all arrange fun all the time.
• Never with money is not so good how bad it happens without them.
• I found my place in life, but it is employed ...
• If you did everything right, it does not mean that you will be fine
• Real loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night and do not understand you.
• Finance Minister sincerely believed that not in money happiness.
• Learn, learn and study again, because you can't find a job anyway!
• They lived long and happily, until they learned that others live longer and happy.
• Life is divided into two stages - first there is no mind, then health.
• Smoking harmful, drinking disgusting, and a sorry to die healthy.
• Very often about the best moments of life, you will find out from eyewitnesses.
• On errors learn, after errors are treated.
• Recipe army canape: just put a piece of bread on another piece of bread.
• Money come and go, and go, and go ...
• As soon as you find your half, other halves begin to wander around and make you doubt.
• Not everyone who went into people, manage to stay by a person.
• Pretched the mouse ...
• The classic is such a variety of literature, which prefer to praise, and not read.
• When a person begins to consider himself wisely, he stops smart.
• When appointed to the post of martyr, the consent of the applicant is not necessary.
• In rheumatism and in love do not believe to the first attack.
• This world is strange, where two look at the same thing, but see the opposite right.
• We would care about what they think about us, if you knew how little they think about us at all.
• Just moving the black weekdays, you begin to appreciate the gray.
• Do not impose me your happiness, I have my own!
• What would you wish you so that then do not envy?
• Well, what are taken for your. Bad that in pigsty.
• Sometimes I don't want to be fooling, but will they refuse her?
• An honest person who dreams of becoming a politician must remember that the inverse reincarnation is in principle impossible.
• Human rights end where the rights of a stronger person begins.
• In the life of this programmer there is only two female professionals: Ace and clave. Well, not counting the mother.
• I do not regret the past, I am sad about the future, which in it died.
• Want sweet dreams? - Check in the cake!
• If you harnessed you, then the gingerbread is no longer waiting.
• What roof does not like quick ride?
• Bogatyr is the one who is at the rich?
• The quality of the miracle is easy to determine: even witnesses do not believe in this miracle.
• When you start to delve into the essence of any sales, you remember that in Russian, the words "discount" and "throw" - single.
• Previously, court jesters rang with buberets, and now - for special signals.
• If the sport was so useful, as we are talking about it, then five Jews would hang on every horizon.
• If you just see only good, you will not change anything to the best.
• All men are the same, only the salary they have different.
• If a woman is trying to keep virginity before the wedding, she has many chances to keep her to retirement.
• He knew how to do everything ... True, he did not succeed.
• Nothing, but this is nothing - too much.
• Became a vegetarian - moved to the grass ..
• If you are constantly laughing, then you bring joy to people.
• In each person, exactly so much vanity as he lacks the mind.
• For five years, a lot of years is changing in Russia, for two hundred years - almost nothing.
• Attractive women distract.
• Weather forecasters, like sappers, mistaken only once.
• But every day.
• What is the number of May Day?
• God, I cow.
• Smoking warns: The Ministry of Health is a Jabeda.
• Caught mice - eat slowly.
• The smell under the arm - change the rug.
• Fly in a dream? Sleep at home.
• If it were not for the legs, I would not be here.
• Top of freedom - dance.
• Do not dance, I will get more.
• If everything is fine in man - it means that it is not our person!
• Baldness is the process of replacing the combing breath.
• Today we drink dry wine! Squint!
• Went marriage: It is playing a peer violin, and the E. Baraban (E.Kaschev)
• If money is not happy, then they are not yours.
• In Russia, the people still did not say their word, but it is already written on the fence ...
• A person has either a sense of humor or gloating.
• Each pioneer must pass 15 kg of waste paper and two who did not pass.
• So far I did not sleep calmly, knew that they were guarded. During the service, I slept badly, guarded. After the service, I do not sleep at all ... I know who guards
• It is indecent to be organized drunk personally unorganized drunk!
• The slower the train is going, the wider the expanses of our homeland.
• Never a book radiated as much light as in the bons of the Inquisition.
• If not sclerosis, I would constantly think about my people.
• Scientists found that the most clear language on Earth is Chinese. It is understood by 1.5 billion people.
• Small - it is well blown big.
• In Estonian schools, they abolished physics so as not to injure children with the concept of "speed".
• Be sure to compose aphorisms - they will make it easier for your psychotherapist ...
• Our monastery requested the Holy Synod, whether it is possible to pray during smoking, and we were told - you can! Since then, our monks are smoking during prayer ...
• The man is self-controlled system.
• Only until the end of the month! Each satellite plate bought - satellite spoon and satellite fork as a gift!
• source -Http: //www.umorina.od.ua

How are funny expressions and phrases useful? For any occasion of some people, some people always have jokes-promotional scores that are capable of surrounding. A witty, ironic, cheerful man easier tolerates adversity and the word in his pocket will not climb.

Reality sometimes prevents not the most pleasant surprises. Overload in the workplace, stressful situations in their own house, uncertainty in friends, colleagues for work, and in the future, in general, often leads to decay forces. Do not cost and say that in the soul in such minutes - just cats scraper. What to do in such troubled times?

What will help relieve stress?

Many people, being victims of unexpected pressing, are trying to look if not oblivion, then feeding, in regular use of various stimulants. Moreover, some of them begin to maintain themselves relatively safe energy drinks, and finish their lives by avid drug addicts.

Even with all our favorite tea is among such power drinks. It is known that tea is able to raise a mood without visible reasons. However, over time, this may lead to real chemical addiction. Therefore, it is much better to remove stress, remembering and using cool expressions for any occasion.

Do humor help and jokes to cope with stress?

Suitable for the situation of jokes and jogging forces to improve the mood and relieve stress without any additional chemical doping. It is for this reason that the article is dedicated to expressions applicable in a wide variety of life situations. .

After reading her, you not only improve yourself the mood here and now. By remembering some of the similar expressions, you can always raise yourself when it will be necessary. Moreover, such a useful impact will not have almost no side effects.

The main thing here is not to overdo it, communicating with people who do not understand humor. After all, some may condemn even the most innocent joke, and light sarcasm for them - as if personal insult!

When can cool expressions about life be used in speech?

You can not change the situation - change your attitude towards it. This is the upbringing of positive character traits that help it easier to go through life, quickly find new friends and help old. Cool expressions filled with subtle humor will help to discharge the situation in almost any situation. They can be applied and then when something went wrong, and then when the heart overwhelms joy. The most important thing is that the interlocutor be with you on one emotional wave. If this condition is respected, I miss you or your listeners.

Examples of the most cool expressions about family life

In this block you will find the most famous cool expressions that can be used in the process of communicating with family members. Especially this block is recommended to explore the male half: do not forget that women love witty. We present our top 10:

1. Sophisticated bonds are hard matter, so they are usually carried together, and sometimes - threesome.
2. Lover from the first marriage.
3. Naivety women: even watching porn movies, she hopes that sex will end the wedding.
4. Recognition in love is similar to the exact time signal. It is true only per minute of pronouncing.
5. My trembling half.
6. We are with you one blood - you are Chuk, I am Gek.
7. When it's raining and longing on the street, a husband saw - create an atmosphere of comfort.
8. It is better to jealous a woman to the stove than to the computer.
9. My children are worried about the question, from where it took me, me - where everything was having ever.
10. Happiness is when the desired moments coincide with the inevitable.
11. A strong marriage is a modest husband and a wife who draws him, as with the king.

Cool expressions on vacation

To fill rest with smiles and fun, you can use almost any jokes and jokes. The most suitable ones will be cool expressions from films. If so do not come to mind, remember anything from the following top:

1. One droplet of nicotine will kill a horse, three hundred - in the power to combat
2. Quickly perficing glass can not be considered pillow.
3. Today you do not drink with us, and tomorrow - Motherland will change.
4. Wear, eat guests expensive. If you really disappear, you can come tomorrow.
5. With smart people, it is pleasant to talk, but hard to work.
6. My life leaves so quickly, as if she was not interested with me.
7. There are no ugly women - there are underfunded.
8. Whatever a woman is happy, let it sometimes do nothing.
9. A man who appreciates life will not get her dirty thoughts.
10. Odnolyuba will make only one person unhappy.

and expressions, relevant in line for a doctor

Began to go to the doctor again? Do not despair! Our most cool expressions presented in the next top will be able to visit a visit to the doctor light and cheerful:

1. Come on the site of the dental clinic - www.zubov.net.
2. One head is already good, but also useful torso.
3. The patient refused to open, so the doctor was forced to treat him.
4. The doctor cannot extend life, so it stretches the disease.
5. The doctor asks a patient with a foot knife: - Do you hurt? - No, it is unpleasant, only when I laugh.
6. Medicines are so expensive that while they earn them - time will cure.
7. New version of the oath of the hippocrates: only upon presentation of the insurance policy ...
8. This is what our predicuamus has prolonged.
9. What is the wrecker medicine, the more expensive medicine.
10. Beautiful was a leg ... Come on the second!

Cool expressions applicable during quarrel

Of course, quarrels are not the most pleasant thing. But even they can be done less painful, if you learn to "send" people's uncomplicable people more or less beautiful to you. The next top is presented, in which you will find expressions with the meaning, cool insults of cultural people:

1. How long will the principles on your stock exchange?
2. Of course, everyone wants to be honest ... But you want to be rich more.
3. Yes, your head has long time to rize.
4. Grumbling is a new consent sign!
5. There are no unbearable people, there are only narrow doors.
6. Who spoiled to you here such a face?
7. Let be rubbish. But take how much you want!
8. In the face of your boyfriend, I noticed - again you are preparing to ring.
9. Do not stand here to draw meditation.
10. And live reluctance, and shoot yourself too lazy.

Cool expressions about gray weekdays

Cool expressions about life is an opportunity to paint gray everyday life. Want to make sure that yourself? Read the following top:

1. Soon they will begin to plant all malicious defamers of bribes.
2. Do not smile, as if the tax inspector.
3. I am increasingly dreaming by the remarks of nightmares.
4. For complete happiness, I want to survive.
5. In service 112 entered the next call. The rescuers were upset, but the phone was decided not to remove.
6. If Lysin is a trail, wipe out thoughts, then I am the most thoughtful person!
7. Even the new year someone hates. Well, for example, trees.
8. To eat so much, you have to eat.
9. If you always surround the fools, then you are the most important of them.
10. It is better to finish seven times later than once again.

Cool expressions used instead of insulting

There are people who, at least 1000 times, explain, repeat - everything is useless! However, even in this case should not be desirable and sad. After all, cool expressions for communicating with an unpleasant interlocutor may come in slippery situations. No exception and communication with "especially gifted" people. To find out how nevertheless, to specify their people for all the stupidity of their position, remember several expressions from the following topics:

1. Sewerage is the only thing that can be combined with you.
2. I look smart! I see - the skull is too hard. I can fix it.
3. Smile wider, the chief needs more idiots.
4. Do not be nervous! I already have no place to hide the corpses!
5. The hero is one. When the heroes are much - they are called hooligans.
6. I look, Soon someone is finished with a light fright.
7. Waiting for a warning shot headed for a long time.
8. Caution, take care of yourself, do not allow your brain to think.
9. If I get up, I'm afraid, the nuclear war will spoil you such a beautiful day.
10. Increasingly, I experience an insurmountable desire to be obscene to admire your behavior.

Cool expressions helping to recognize your mistake

Oddly enough, cool can smooth the situation when you don't want to laugh at all. One of these situations is the need to recognize your own mistakes. To find out what can be said in such an inconvenient case, check out the next top:

1. The source of my wisdom is my experience. The source of my experience is my stupidity.
2. There are people who are not mistaken, it means they are just afraid to act.
3. Our errors will die before us, so you do not need to make mummy from them.
4. Experience is such a thing that they get instead of what they wanted.
5. Experience is such a thing that appears immediately after it was needed.
6. I will not try to have time to explain something in the intervals between the patches. And it will be unbelievable, and will have to repeat.
7. Why make sin of despondency due to errors when there are plenty of more pleasant sins!
8. I am today quieter of water and funnier herbs.
9. And yet not all the decency managed today to break.
10. Wisdom is not to make mistakes, but to not repeat them more.

Descriptions of news and other recent events

Viewing news, in our time, it can become a less source of stress than a conversation with an enraged boss. Incidental assistance in discharge will be our final top "Cool winged expressions about modern life":

1. On the day of elections, the people thoroughly.
2. Still tell me that Lenin was Skinhead!
3. The main thing is to win. After all, the winners will not rise.
4. Walk at night is the easiest suicide method.
5. Decoration is any sex that you are not participating.
6. The longer I think, the more I am convinced that Eva not only ate the forbidden apple, but also from the poor snake made a fashionable bag.
7. If I can fly on the plane, choose the place ahead. When crashing the aircraft, the trolley with beer will again pass about me! At least getting before death.
8. It seems that the Bifhtexes with the blood of the second group will soon become the most common dish.
9. Driver, he came to the places where children can suddenly jump out!
10. Psychoanalysis is the efforts of the brain to get pleasure intended for another organ.

A little more about the benefits and expressions in everyday life

If an article on the topic "Cool expressions for any case" at least someone will not resort to various chemical doping only in order to cope with the negative impact of stress, it means that it is not written in vain.

Of course, the constant stress is an unpleasant thing, but you can and need to learn how to cope without drugs. Is it difficult? In fact, not very. It will be difficult only at the very beginning. Especially these difficulties can touch those who have already managed to become dependent on some chemicals.

If we are talking about addiction or launched alcoholism to overcome the dependence, most likely, you will have to turn to a narcologist.

However, most readers do not belong to this population group. So, you can teach your own mind to successfully resist stress. To achieve this goal without serious difficulties, you need to learn how to switch from the fact that it grieves, on the opposite moments. It will take quite a bit of time, and you will notice that it is completely easy to achieve this goal. Here the main thing is not to allow yourself to start!

After all, if someone from your surroundings behaves in Hamski - it is him, and not your problem. Why waste your strength on other people's problems? And even if you were mistaken: What will the nerve and bitter tears give? Isn't it better to make the right conclusions and not repeat past shorts and errors?

The media endless flow fell on us a whole flurry of negative news. And what does it give? Wars will become less? Airplanes will stop tolerate crash? All drivers and pedestrians will learn to follow the rules of the road? Unfortunately, all these questions can be considered rhetorical. Therefore, it is still not necessary to worry much because of all that the media fell on us. Let's live together with our nervous system. And I have not extended to anyone's constant stress!

Therefore, the only thing that can really help us is the right attitude to everything that is happening both in the outside world and directly in our lives. Any difficulty is easier to endure in the calm location of the Spirit. And the best assistants in constant struggle with stress, apathy, depression and constant fear - we ourselves. The ability to own its own consciousness, to have fun in stock phrases and expressions - one of the types of positive survival.

Continue to look at your life with a smile, to endure difficulties with a cold mind and in any situation to notice positive moments. And most importantly - stop worrying because of the trifles! Life loves those who are easy to relate to it! And then everything in your life will be just wonderful!

Make a woman happy - easy, only very expensive.

Man man wolf, and zombie zombie zombies.

The alarmings do not have good melodies.

Girls, learn to cook! No matter who you will get married, in any way he will want to eat!

In the story it is difficult to enter, but it is easy to pursue.

Men are always right, and women are never mistaken.

Never with money is not so good how bad it happens without them.

The second twin boy, happy parents called the Boyan.

She sat down on him, and he stood on her.

Only a Russian man will understand the true meaning of the set of letters: Pshlnkhptrc.

About my life if not mate, I have nothing to say.

Tell me what you think, and I will say than.

Love grandchildren - they will distort children.

Amaik Hakobyan, shaving his faces-Masyasi, almost shaved his Ahalai Mahalai.

In the parallel universe, people do not rob banks, banks themselves rob people. But no ... it's in this.

On the exam in Latin, the two-street student accidentally called the devil.

The most honest eyes are hungry.

Labor made a man of monkey, but Inefor corrected it.

While there is an ass, adventure will not end.

If you are late for work - it means that you have it.

Girls, went to the sea!
- And we are not a girl. We have already traveled twice.

The new year was good, if in the morning you call you dude from YouTube.

Only our person knows the difference between food and snack.

The boy who in the winter scarf tows his father, knows how to detain his breath for 6 hours.

I am not clairvoyant. I am a bug.

Candy "goose paws". In my mouth my feet!

If the husband gives flowers for no reason - it means the reason is still there.

Nobody died from knowledge, but I don't want to risk.

Dear, looked at your mistress and decided - this is not treason. This is a feat!

Mortgage is not a prison, amnesty will not be!

Girl, do not let me rabbit in me!

A group of smart climbers bypassed Everest.

It is harder to carry a blank wallet.

The plant for the production of juice "kind" is not hired until you kill three evil people.

The elevator does not work. Nearest elevator in the next doorway.

Who gets early, he is definitely not me.

Money does not worry me - they calm me.

The whisper robber made everyone "lick!"

One head is good, and two - already ugly.

The driver of the driver of the minibus in bed shouts loudly, clearly and in advance.

Friendship friendship, but you can drunk.

The famous writer married the top model. Moved all the same ass with a handle.

The diet is when you do not eat sausage, and in secret you have a hamster.

I have a good salary ... small but good.

Mom wanted a boy, and dad - a girl. So they met.

Before liter, for some reason, drinking is measured in grams.

From time to time, each of us needs to hear funny words to smile. Therefore, in search of a good mood, we are resorting to various collections of cool expressions and phrases. When you are cheerful - the whole world smiles to you in response.

Every day we hear many short cool phrases, but not everyone remains on the hearing, and even less remembered. It is forgotten by the origin of a cool phrase, but the meaning remains, especially if the phrase is funny.

It is impossible to present our life without laughter and smiles, without humor and fun. We offer our selection of cool expressions and phrases for free, and let no one stay without a smile! Use every minute in your life!

It is usually funny funny phrases unite companies. Short cool phrases with meaning most fully reflect the good mood of people in society, have a positive effect on the worldview, and help determine the community of interests. And absolutely no matter is new cool phrases about love by rows from a book work, chorus from a song, remarks from a movie or a cartoon.

Short cool expressions and funny phrases will appreciate cheerful people with a good sense of humor. On our site we decided to please you with our cool phrases and expressions.

Short cool phrases will help cheer friends

The main meaning of cool phrases is that they are in humorous form describe the exciting moments of the lives of many people. Cool phrases about life will help cheer friends during a friendly feast. Cool phrases and aphorisms are able to cheer into a difficult and difficult period.

There are a lot of cool phrases and aphorisms. Cool phrases and statements are excerpts that are taken from artistic works, modern films or cartoons.

Mostly cool expressions about life are not taken from books, but from TV and Internet. A variety of cool expressions and phrases are filled with meaning. The most cool expressions are a variety of calaburas, or immediately brought to the absurdity. Odessa humor - very multifaceted and many cool expressions become a classic.

These cool expressions never agrees and always remain relevant. For example, a lot of cool expressions are taken from lines of artistic works. Many famous funny expressions with meaning are taken from the classics of world cinema, which so nice to remember the older generation.

Free cool expressions and funny statements

Funny cool expressions about love will help to hit your satellite or companion. Cool words and expressions can also be useful if you need to fix an awkward situation or an oversight. The most relevant funny statements and expressions in the company of friends.

Meet friends, rejoice in life along with our cool aphorisms and expressions, as well as enjoy your thoughts and thoughts of your friends.

There are many short cool phrases and expressions. But we have selected for you only the most fun, which in our opinion deserve the greatest attention. Our selection of the most cool phrases and expressions for people who love to have fun and merge other people. We invite you to read our free cool phrases and expressions to raise your mood.

Cool expressions and funny phrases to raise mood

• People want a good life, and they all arrange fun all the time.
• Never with money is not so good how bad it happens without them.
• I found my place in life, but it is employed ...
• If you did everything right, it does not mean that you will be fine
• Real loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night and do not understand you.
• Finance Minister sincerely believed that not in money happiness.
• Learn, learn and study again, because you can't find a job anyway!
• They lived long and happily, until they learned that others live longer and happy.
• Life is divided into two stages - first there is no mind, then health.
• Smoking harmful, drinking disgusting, and a sorry to die healthy.
• Very often about the best moments of life, you will find out from eyewitnesses.
• On errors learn, after errors are treated.
• Recipe army canape: just put a piece of bread on another piece of bread.
• Money come and go, and go, and go ...
• As soon as you find your half, other halves begin to wander around and make you doubt.
• Not everyone who went into people, manage to stay by a person.
• Pretched the mouse ...
• The classic is such a variety of literature, which prefer to praise, and not read.
• When a person begins to consider himself wisely, he stops smart.
• When appointed to the post of martyr, the consent of the applicant is not necessary.
• In rheumatism and in love do not believe to the first attack.
• This world is strange, where two look at the same thing, but see the opposite right.
• We would care about what they think about us, if you knew how little they think about us at all.
• Just moving the black weekdays, you begin to appreciate the gray.
• Do not impose me your happiness, I have my own!
• What would you wish you so that then do not envy?
• Well, what are taken for your. Bad that in pigsty.
• Sometimes I don't want to be fooling, but will they refuse her?
• An honest person who dreams of becoming a politician must remember that the inverse reincarnation is in principle impossible.
• Human rights end where the rights of a stronger person begins.
• In the life of this programmer there is only two female professionals: Ace and clave. Well, not counting the mother.
• I do not regret the past, I am sad about the future, which in it died.
• Want sweet dreams? - Check in the cake!
• If you harnessed you, then the gingerbread is no longer waiting.
• What roof does not like quick ride?
• Bogatyr is the one who is at the rich?
• The quality of the miracle is easy to determine: even witnesses do not believe in this miracle.
• When you start to delve into the essence of any sales, you remember that in Russian, the words "discount" and "throw" - single.
• Previously, court jesters rang with buberets, and now - for special signals.
• If the sport was so useful, as we are talking about it, then five Jews would hang on every horizon.
• If you just see only good, you will not change anything to the best.
• All men are the same, only the salary they have different.
• If a woman is trying to keep virginity before the wedding, she has many chances to keep her to retirement.
• He knew how to do everything ... True, he did not succeed.
• Nothing, but this is nothing - too much.
• Became a vegetarian - moved to the grass ..
• If you are constantly laughing, then you bring joy to people.
• In each person, exactly so much vanity as he lacks the mind.
• For five years, a lot of years is changing in Russia, for two hundred years - almost nothing.
• Attractive women distract.
• Weather forecasters, like sappers, mistaken only once.
• But every day.
• What is the number of May Day?
• God, I cow.
• Smoking warns: The Ministry of Health is a Jabeda.
• Caught mice - eat slowly.
• The smell under the arm - change the rug.
• Fly in a dream? Sleep at home.
• If it were not for the legs, I would not be here.
• Top of freedom - dance.
• Do not dance, I will get more.
• If everything is fine in man - it means that it is not our person!
• Baldness is the process of replacing the combing breath.
• Today we drink dry wine! Squint!
• Went marriage: It is playing a peer violin, and the E. Baraban (E.Kaschev)
• If money is not happy, then they are not yours.
• In Russia, the people still did not say their word, but it is already written on the fence ...
• A person has either a sense of humor or gloating.
• Each pioneer must pass 15 kg of waste paper and two who did not pass.
• So far I did not sleep calmly, knew that they were guarded. During the service, I slept badly, guarded. After the service, I do not sleep at all ... I know who guards
• It is indecent to be organized drunk personally unorganized drunk!
• The slower the train is going, the wider the expanses of our homeland.
• Never a book radiated as much light as in the bons of the Inquisition.
• If not sclerosis, I would constantly think about my people.
• Scientists found that the most clear language on Earth is Chinese. It is understood by 1.5 billion people.
• Small - it is well blown big.
• In Estonian schools, they abolished physics so as not to injure children with the concept of "speed".
• Be sure to compose aphorisms - they will make it easier for your psychotherapist ...
• Our monastery requested the Holy Synod, whether it is possible to pray during smoking, and we were told - you can! Since then, our monks are smoking during prayer ...
• The man is self-controlled system.
• Only until the end of the month! Each satellite plate bought - satellite spoon and satellite fork as a gift!

More than 230 witty, spoiled, funny, funny, smart phrases, aphorisms and quotes for all occasions.

Children are interested in the question: where everything is taken, adults - where everything goes.

Appetite and guests come during food.

I want to live forever. So far it turns out.

No one knows as much as I do not know ..

Women are guessing. They are mistaken only when they argue

A woman - it sounds proudly, as well as loud, capricious and stupid.

Lord! I ask you! Do not refuse me, Lord, because I ask for myself ...

Toast: For phemes and other mythical characters!

How time flies quickly: I did not have time to wake up, and I've been late for work.

Girl as a calculator: adds problems, takes time, multiplies costs, divides property !!!

Rings on the roof of the wedding machine mean that the initial account is 0: 0

The woman is ready for all for love, even make love. A man is ready for all for the sake of making love, even love.

Before spending the night with a man, a woman wants to understand whether she loves him. And a man can understand whether he loves a woman, only after he spent the night with her.

A man is changing women when he wants to experience a lot, and the woman changes men when nothing is experiencing.

Even the most beautiful legs grow out of the ass.

And the coffee on the key will also vipyz shed?

White and fluffy - it is actually gray and hairy.

There are no unbearable people, there are narrow doors.

One head is good, but with a torso better.

Believe people to the word certified by signature and seal.

Here I will marry my son, I will call him Kuzey - and I will be Kuzkina Mother!

You should not answer evil violence, you cannot imagine what is capable of rape evil.

Nothing I say when you interrupt?

Speak - say, I always yaw when I'm wondering.

The road to success is always closed for repairs.

If you think that smoking does not affect the voice of a woman, try to shake the ashes on the carpet.

If you fluctuate for a long time, you can push everyone ..

Woman of good: she can forgive a man all, even if he is not to blame.

Woman behind the wheel - that the star in the sky: you see her, and she is not.

Woman wants everything - from one. A man is one of all.

The source of our wisdom is our experience. The source of our experience is our nonsense.

What a pity that you finally leave ...

I change the touch-based self-bare on a similar sheet.

Announcement in the newspaper: I take off, damage

One fish - the other: - Hau, let's not, God is not ... And who then changes the water in the aquarium?

One of the brightest manifestations of optimism - phrase: "As I was a fool!"

She looked through what mother gave birth to ...

If love in you is power, if you are in love - this is weakness

What is your health at your age?

I'm not stupid - I'm not in the mood

Who said that Kutuzov did not have one eye? Cutuzov had one eye!

Wanted workers to work at work. Payment for money.

I'm not serious - I'm bored

I'm not beautiful - I am a cherry mila

Healthy sleep not only prolongs life, but also reduces the working day

Penguin - Bird Rare. So, before the middle of the Dnieper should fly.

Who is not going forward, he goes back - there is no standing position.

There is nothing sadger than women who knew only beautiful.

In jealousy, more pride than love.

Give a man what he wants and you will lose his meaning of life.

Worse than yesterday can only be tomorrow.

"Where there are few words, there they have the weight" - Shakespeare.

I got past more than 9000 times for my career. I lost almost 300 matches. 26 times I was entrusted to make a decisive throw and I missed. I often endured failure in my life. That is why I succeeded.

The most difficult thing in the dispute is not so much to defend your point of view, how much to have a clear idea about it.

Born crawling, crawl everywhere.

"Frankly talk about our shortcomings we can only with those who recognize our advantages."

"A little to have a goal in life, you need to be able to shoot apt."

Do not wish people of what you want yourself, you may have different tastes

We learned to fly like birds and swim like fish, but we still need to learn to just walk on the ground as brothers.

Too many people think about protecting instead of thinking about the possibility. It seems they are more afraid of life than death.

Our soul can be a great fire. But no one may come to warm up with him, because the passing of the smoke is just passing.

The fact that for the caterpillar is the end of the world, for the butterfly - birthday.

Life is what happens when you are busy implementing other plans.

I want to get to hell, not to heaven. There I can enjoy the society of Dad, Kings and Dukes, while Paradise is inhabited by onephalts, monks and apostles.

Hurry to live to have time to start all over again.

You should not get the wings if you do not know where to fly.

My nights are better than your days.

Be careful in your desires, otherwise they can be fulfilled.

If I, giving up requests, began to write about myself, it would be a plaintive book - "Fate - Slut" © Ranevskaya

My vital installation: less ask questions and eat ice cream until it melted

When you do not need, and you are - this is a terrible situation degrading you

One woman is different from the other: no better, no worse, just another ...

Sculpted with a hammer, sits stronger than a nail shrewd by a screwdriver.

Love like a tree, she is grown by himself, hesching the roots in all our creature and often continues to be green and blossom even on the ruins of our heart.

Life is given once, but it is even less likely.

It happens that love will be held herself

Neither the heart is not touched upon, no mind.

When a woman chooses a lover, she is not so important to like her how he likes to like other women

When I eat - I am deaf and him, a chiter and fast, and the devilish can ...

Men appreciate the most real - beauty in women, and women in men are the most ephemeral: reliability.

A woman, perhaps, has not yet created a single great invention, but it created all the great inventors.

A woman never notices what they do for her, but she will always notice what they do not.

A woman in love is likely to forgive greater indispensable, rather than small infidelity.

If you want to make a woman change your opinion, it is necessary to categorically agree with it.

Women have only one tool to make us happy and thirty thousand funds - to make our misfortune.

Women - like cats - often do not like the owner, and the house.

Women are absolutely natural and consistent in their impermanence ...

Women are a special people: they tell them compliments - take for the truth, say the truth - offended.

A woman is not born, she becomes.

A woman who loves boldly, is not trying to treat masculine hassle to urgent problems - she is just a woman, before the femininity of which respectfully leans and retreats any everyday trouble.

I want to love you, but do not keep you. I want to appreciate you without reasoning. I want to join you, but not to invade you. I want to ask, but not demand. I want to help, but not to reproach in the inability. If we both want it, we can meet.

Do not boast that your wife is best of all: women can be offended, and men want to make sure.

If you persuade a woman for a very long time, she will think that you are only capable of talking.

A married life is every day war and every night truce.

Do not burn if your wife had someone to you: worse, if she has someone after.

The only real error is not to correct your past mistakes.

There are two ways to command women. But no one knows them.

The man, if he could understand what a woman thinks, would still not believe it.

Friendship between a man and a woman is based on the hope of one of the parties, that this is not just friendship.

In love, always one kisses, and the other only applies to the cheek

Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like cautious rats.

Men are always right, and women are never mistaken.

Career is a wonderful thing, but she can't warm anyone in a cold night.

Baby is an excellent example of the ruling minority.

Father is completely easy to become. Being a father, on the contrary, difficult.

Rule rule. The phone you look, never calls.

God created a woman later because he did not want to listen to the councils when creating a man.

The more women seek to free themselves, the more unhappy they become.

A friend is a person who knows about you - and nevertheless loves you.

Beloved forgive the fact that others do not forgive, and do not forgive what they say goodbye to others.

If a woman hates you, then she loved you, loves or love.

No one becomes a good person by chance.

The most hijling is when your dream come true from someone else.

Difficulties are easiest.

Where the beginning of the end endowed the beginning.

A beautiful woman usually suffers at once with two diseases: Mania Majesti and Mania Pursuit.

If a person is happy for more than one day, then something hide something from him.

This friend is the one who will keep your hand and feel your heart.

All girls are from nature angels, but when they have wings, they have to fly on the broom.

Put in front of you big goals - it is harder to miss it!

The average woman prefers to be beautiful, not smart, because the middle man knows better than the thinking.

Paradox: putting 6 socks into the washing machine, take out only 5.

When the toilet is closed, I want to pay for its use.

The client does not know what he wants, until he sees what he received.

When nothing remains to do, many do it.

All that is good in life is either illegally or immoral or leads to obesity.

So that you lived like you come!

The day disappeared not in vain!

If you can not change the situation - change your attitude to it.

Short roads are different from long that they charge for travel. And on dark roads love to declare the price at the end of the way ...

Happiness is what you do not notice when it is, and notice when it is not ...

I am made of a man's edge to protect his heart)))

Very often we choose not from what we want to have, but from what is afraid to lose

All day you do not sleep, you don't eat all night - of course you get tired ...

Conscience is the richness of a person, and we are students - the people poor ....

In any of us, the genius sleeps, and every day is all stronger.

I didn't even think about thinking about what you thought!

Everyone knows that happiness is not in the money, but everyone wants to make sure.

Keychain is such a small figure that allows you to lose all the keys at the same time.

The goer is not ykpaanskaya vodka, this is a small man monkey.

While you find space under the sun - already the evening.

All have children, butterflies have children, fish, in birds, even in dogs. Only a pencil has no children, because he has a rubber band!

Love is an electric current that passes from head to the legs. And enters the point where son or daughter is born.

Let us live cool, so that the life does not want to change! Love is a reason for the temptation, let's seduce each other !!!

The courage is only those who felt the heart of fear,

Who looks into the abyss, but looks proud in the eyes.

It is not surprising that women do not have enough time: you just take a look at their tiny watch.

Only one person understood me; Yes, and he, in truth, did not understand.

Life is a cross in which everyone seeks to escape forward to come to the finishment last.

Only on your birthday you learn how much unnecessary things exists in the world.

My conscience is clean, because I never use her.

Men love beautiful women more than smart, because they are easier to look, not to think.

Well suspended language always itches.

Good thing to do nothing, and then rest.

Never sport with a fool, he will lower you to his level and wins you on its territory.

Let you not mine, but I am yours.

The most irresistible female cosmetics is a powder for male brains!

Never eat the last cutlet from the frying pan: you can't wash the empty frying pan with one cutlet, and the empty frying pan will wash.

So many good cute girls .... I am like an exception from all the rules ...

When there is no woman next to a man - he begins to do nonsense. When there is no man with a woman next to a man ... She begins to do the dirtyness.

It is much easier to get a forgiveness than first permission.

"The task is to make a person happy - I did not enter the plan of the creation of the world."

As we live - the state secret, for which - commercial!

When I was born, I was so amazed that I didn't talk to anyone for 2 years!

A woman is like a weapon: it is impossible to play with it.

Life, how much is neither Klyani, still stands to live it.

Woman is dangerous for each paradise ...

Friends do not need to have, you need to be friends with them ...

It is harmful to live, you die ...

Pravda is always at least two ...

The occupation of garbage at work develops hearing, lateral vision, reaction and vigilance as a whole ...

Loneliness is bad because few people can endure themselves ...

The virgin is nothing better than the debaucker - both, in essence, think about the same thing

The best way to get rid of temptation is to succumb to him ..

How much I live, I can not understand two things: where does the dust come from and where the money goes

It is better to do and regret what to regret what I did not.

Following the law of the sandwich, we can conclude that if the sandwich is smeared on both sides, it will turn in the air.

I have everything except money and happiness.

Your joy from the onset of a clear sunny morning will be incomplete if you suddenly become clear that it came Monday.

If you are trying to draw in a win-win lottery, it means that you will not leave without losing.

The registry office is a place where love is branded.

Evasion from praise is a request to repeat.

Tell me what you think, and I will tell than.

All the gods were immortal.

Fools die on Fridays, and who will still die when two weekends are ahead.

If Eve did not change Adam, then why did humanity come from monkey?

Good to be brave, but scary ...

The later "ambulance" comes, the more accurate its diagnosis ...

If you are late for work - it means that you have it.

Negative result is also a result, especially if it is the result on HIV.

It is necessary to live so to envy yourself.

What our life is playing, everyone knows, but how to play it ...

If you argue with an idiot, probably the same thing and he.

Nobody put us on your knees! We lay, and let's lie!

If a man goat, it does not mean that he is in bed beast.

In a woman, everything should be fine - do not sue her!

Life - like a piano: key black, white key, cover .... (

Requirements of terrorists about redemption are made. The terrorists are repurchased and laid binky.

Nobody died from knowledge, but I don't want to risk.

Wonderful phrase: good always wins evil! So it is unclear who wins whom ...

The first of April, "Day of Fools" - American People's Day.

Life looks like a dog sledding: if you do not go ahead, then you see the same thing all the time.

Happiness is when the desired coincides with the inevitable.

Each time, leaving the hairdresser, the same question torments me - why did I ask me how I want to take a tread?

Do not cry because it ended. Smile because it was.

Love like war: easy to start, it is difficult to finish, it is impossible to forget ...

A little Vishnevsky:

I look good, but not often.

Men are easier, their mother-in-law loves ...

Yes, I agree finally: I'm not stubborn!

I love without memory ... without memory ... who? ..

Go for years, I still for thirty ...

Interference with happiness - you and overweight.

Here are a villain: blushing - and not lying!

Today, pilaf without meat. And without rice.

What is money? This is a pass !!!

And Mom, and the Ministry of Health warned ...

Signally silent, but asks for definitely!

In bed, he is like God: not snoring!

It's a lot of children: does not love manna porridge ...

I believe that you will be able to spoil someone else's life!

Despite anything, no where, nor with whom ...

Time treats, but the outcome is always lethal ...

All in soap, but I keep myself in your hands ...

Fate, squeezing his teeth, smiled ...

I have nothing to hide, but so I wanted to hide ...

Love is needed like money: daily.

Speaking, not saying goodbye ... I divorce!

I demand now, but not immediately!

It's time to put up, tomorrow day salary ...