Jokes about student's life. Student KVN.

Laughter is a pleasant emotion and a better pastime in any company. Knowledge of jokes and ability to tell jokes can reveal you in a favorable light, teach to find contact with people and discharge the situation. Funny jokes, jokes and poems will certainly delight your team, your relatives and loved ones and become your highlight.

KVN is a fascinating competition, in which several teams compete with each other with a variety of humorous works: jokes, jokes, scenes, jokes and humorins. This is a unique game, jokes of which become covered and long memorable.

Best jokes from KVN:

Interesting case in the hospital:
(Near the doors there is a figure of a person and nervously smokes)
- Damn, well, when when? ... how much can you wait? (exhales smoke)
- Ivanova, give birth! (Voice from the corridor)
- Well, damn ... Finally! (quickly carries its cigarette). Going!!!

An interesting fact: the victim of the Manyak killer unexpectedly lucky!
(There is a loud and terrifying body in the hall, and the person in the role of the victim slowly fives back, exposing his hands forward. Suddenly the victim comes on something ...)
- OPA! Chervonchik!

The whisen Gypsy falls on his knee and makes an offer to his beloved:
- I'm long for this Sol ... Ross, are you buddies of my tire?
- Dear, why do you whispe?
- Molzi, nor say not Sl Flow! (screaming Gypsy and takes the ring)
- But, loved one, where did you get the gold ring from?
- Let it emerge Nasimi secret! (lowers head down)

The case near the maternity hospital, under the windows are young fathers and shout with beloved wives:
- Marina, who?
- We have a boy, Igor!
- Angela, who?
- We have a girl, Maxim!
- Katya, how to turn on the washing machine?
- Turn on the cord into the socket and press the red button!
- Thank you! (Run away)
- Oleg, stand! I gave birth!
- Well done!

Jokes from KVN, funny jokes to raise the mood, the best jokes of KVN

Short jokes, funny and funny jokes, jokes, short jokes

Funny and short jokes will always be useful in cases of communicating with friends, colleagues and relatives.

The best short jokes:

• If you actively play sports, then you can extend your life about five years, but to deal with the sport yourself need to spend eight years!
• The boy is very strong, to which the teacher did a remark and asked if he knows the meaning of these words: - Of course I know! (answered the boy) This means that the dad does not start the car!
• Message on the wardrobe in the theater: "Valuable things and bills do not leave in your pockets, the wardrobist has a small salary!"
• Grandma of Slavik turned out to be "in a dead end, when a fat grandson arrived to her
• I go to the house and immediately nice: already at the entrance I will meet I-Fi
• Only the pigeons die on the black machine white, and white black!
• Nowadays, you can hear good news on TV only during advertising!
• The famous humorist Garik, whom the people are called "Bulldog" bit the dog-bulldog nicknamed "Garik"
• Rule of a male razor machine: the first blade shaves "purely", the second shaves "even cleaner", and the third is also "long"!

Funny short jokes and jokes

April jokes, funny and fun jokes with jokes

April funny jokes are always able to raise the mood and set up people to a positive way in any situation.

April jokes are a special kind of humor, it is that any of the possible ways to put his acquaintance in an uncomfortable or confusion position.

Here are some options of April win-win jokes:

April joke "with eyes"

This joke involves a joke, the meaning of which is the "peculiar revival of objects" - products in the refrigerator. This is an interesting version of a good mood since the morning, when the person opens the door for not knowing the door and comes to horror for a few seconds from the fact that all products are "looking" to him. Such eyes can be easily bought in the store for creativity or in the fittings department.

Propelle joke for colleagues in your work

This joke involves wrapped every object of the desktop in the food foil. At first glance, it can shock the owner in the first minute, and the remaining thirty to remove the wrapper from each thing while the rest will observe and smile!

April joke for employees and colleagues

Not a complicated and interesting joke is that under the seat of the office chair you need to install the mountain. That person who belongs the chair will be frightened and shocked when not him comes.

Good jokes and interesting jokes for all and everyone

Good jokes and jokes are able to raise the mood even in the saddest and rainy day. Read good jokes and jokes with friends, tell them close and make every day filled with joy.

Good jokes and jokes for different topics:

• It is noticed that the higher the person being held the office, the less place its attendance at work
• To give yourself a few extreme persisons and enter the customs confused, pour a little green tea in foil from cigarettes
• Sitting office worker while without less than ten minutes can automatically plunge into "sleep mode"
• In the morning, nothing will be able to cheer so much like a cup of strong freshly sauced coffee grouse, which
• I do not understand: he moved from his parents, bought an apartment and immediately came the bill for utilities. I certainly paid it, but next month he came again, and then ... What? I had to be the first not to pay? Everyone understood that I am a sucker ???
• If I decided to sit at night with a laptop on the Internet, do not turn the charger in advance. If sat - it's time to sleep!
• "Dinner with candlelight" is not only romance, it is an effective treatment of hemorrhoids!
• Scientists concluded that in a drop of male sperm of "life" quite more than in droplets of human blood. Conclusion: how much vampires suck blood?

Good jokes will be a wonderful time

Poems jokes on any subject, funny rhyme jokes for everyone

Poems in comic shape will be your highlight in the company or at any event where you can entertain and please the guests.

Funny jokes in poetic form:

You do not call me married
I do not know how to cook, I am a poet!
I lazy and this is my status,
Alien to me breakfast, dinner, lunch.
I do not go to high stiletails,
And I can not be brought up.
I'm looking for inspiration in jokes,
Inspirations of others are not looking!

You left the house and me in one moment,
Where I look for me - I do not know.
Your red wig remained on the pillow
I hug him from longing.
On the night of your table, teeth are thrown
And in a cup with a kitchen artificial eye.
I look at my teeth, I remember only lips
What do not kiss me at this morning hour!

Bulldog tried to bite the familiar man
He ran from him and threw a stone, just did not get.
That stone in Tamech flew that she was near
"Well, nothing, and so go!" He thought and did not say!

Songs jokes, funny short songs, chastushki and row

Funny chastushki songs will be an interesting entertainment at the festive table and will delight anyone with their original text, humor and sarcasm.

Funny drink chastushki songs:

My favorite is a tractor driver
I'm in the village of Diarechka,
We like Bounty and Twix
Sweet couple!

Christmas tree was born in the forest
And she grew up there,
Served maskwood
Military shelf.

If I were strong,
My life b was
Like a fairy tale
And women from night to the morning!

There is a question - to my sport
To resort when?
In the morning, Lunch, Day Futer
Just once!

Funny jokes in a song form

Jokes jokes, funny jokes for everyone on any topic

Know a good funny joke must everyone, a person without a sense of humor seems dry and boring!

Funny jokes on a variety of subjects:

• - What did you fall?
  - No, damn, knee was combed! Well, I think about the asphalt hone it!
• With a naked woman, it is impossible to argue at least because at any moment she can dress and leave!
• I solve the SCANDWORD, and there is a question "not censored cursing out of three letters." The word immediately came to mind, I decided to check in a response: it turns out that "Mat"!
• - Head, I would like to order a track. Is it possible?
  - Yes of course! How many grams are you?
  - Is it a bowling?
• Woman says man:
  - Cute when we become a husband and wife, we will be able to share the problems equally!
  - Dear, but we have no problems!
  - I say when we "husband and wife"!
• Georgian boy entered the Russian-speaking school, teacher teaches his language:
  - GIVI, Say "Bread"
  - CHLEP!
  - No, guys, you need to say softer
  - Help!
  - No, Givi is still softer!
  - Bun!

Funny jokes on any subject for everyone

Riddles jokes, funny riddles with gangs, jokes for all occasions

Jokes-riddles can be an interesting entertainment for any company. Such jokes can be raised friends and loved ones, colleagues and loved ones. Jokes-riddles will be excellent accompaniment of any holiday.

Best jokes-riddles for fun companies:

• What does one half of the mandaring look like?
  (Answer: Over the second half of the Mandarin)
• Imagine the situation: guests suddenly came to you. In the refrigerator there is: pack of juice, a bottle of beer and mineral water. What will you open first?
  (Answer: Refrigerator!)
• What kind of gift wife brought her husband from a beach resort?
  (answer: horns)
• What could be common between a student and lizard?
  (Answer: both have "tails")
• When a person happens in his apartment and he has no head?
  (Answer: When it gives it in the window)
• Grain, who managed to visit both fire and water and in copper pipes, what is it?
  (Answer: Moonshine)
• What can not be shoved even in the most huge pan?
  (Answer: Her cover)
• What is not burning, but constantly asks for quenching?
  (Answer: Cash Duty)
• There is a ribbon, which is not impossible to the braid. What is this tape?
  (Answer: machine gun)
• What kind of place is when you sit on the car, behind you plane, and ahead ahead?
  (Answer: Children's Carousel)
• What kind of woman is so, who first hurts everything about you, and then the rigor will require money?
  (Answer: Conductor controller)

Funny jokes-riddles for any case

Questions jokes with funny answers, jokes jokes for a funny company

Funny questions with the same humorous answers will be able to become an interesting entertainment for anyone. They will decorate the celebration, help to establish contact between unfamiliar people and just raise the mood.

The funniest questions jokes:

• What kind of beast is such a bird, he flies and shared?
  (Answer: Electrician)
• What could be in an empty pocket?
  (answer: hole)
• What twice for your life is a person wearing for free, and in the third you have to pay?
  (answer: for teeth)
• What do thousands of people do at night? What do they do?
  (Answer: Sit on the Internet)
• The worst word for men of three letters?
  (Answer: more!)
• What, unfortunately, can not eat at lunch?
  (answer: breakfast)
• What is exactly not in absolutely any female bag?
  (answer: order)
• What kind of monster is this already six legs, two heads and one tail?
  (Answer: Horseman)
• What kind of strange thing between the legs dangles? This strange thing on "x" begins!
  (answer: tail)
• What is the most popular paper format that is absolutely each?
  (Answer: toilet paper roll fifty-four meters)
• Female milk has one major value. What?
  (Answer: His container)
• Why is the largest monkey - gorilla, such big nostrils?
  (Answer: Because she has very big fingers)

Questions with jokes and funny answers to them for each case

Answers to jokes and funny questions, answers - jokes

Answers to joke-questions hide special sarcasm. As a rule, it is impossible to immediately give the correct answer to such a riddle-question and therefore they have such a feature.

Answers to jokes-riddles, funny answers:

• If a drunk soldier walked around the square past a high tower, noticed a watch on her and shot in them, where did he get?
  (Answer: to the police for drunk and shooting in a public place)
• What can constantly increase and will never decrease in life?
  (Answer: human age)
• It is said that this is most important and most likely to dinner, what is it?
  (Answer: Roth)
• All the crows sit on this tree during a torrential rain, what is this tree?
  (Answer: Wet tree)
• Who can be born twice and only once die?
  (Answer: Bird hatches from the egg)
• What kind of thing is that if you drop, then you do not raise the tail?
  (Answer: Tarrow Nights)
• Is it possible to bring water in a bucket with a hole?
  (Answer: You can freeze water to ice)
• The magician claims that it can put a test tube into the center of the room and slowly crawled into it, is it possible?
  (answer: perhaps in the room anyone can slowly crawl)

Funny answers to joke riddles, funny answers with sarcasm

Jokes jokes, funny stories and funny scenes, humorous jokes

The sense of humor has always been valued and appreciated in humans. If you have a set of jokes and funny stories, you will definitely be located to yourself familiar and even strangers. Laughter is one of the most pleasant emotions on Earth, so it is worth how to give the surrounding joy!

The funniest jokes and jokes:

• Each who wants to imagine how the female brain works just to open on the computer 150 different tabs in a row and not to close them!
• Conversation two familiar athletes:
  "You don't know how to gain a lot of mass?"
  - Well, take dumbbells.
  - No, you do not understand, I need to quickly dial a lot!
  - Well, eat them!
• Imagine a run in an early morning on asphalt covered by morning dew and filled with fresh light air. What could be more beautiful than its absence?
• A young wife has returned from an overseas resort. My husband missed, meets her, feeds and then notes that the wife has the whole back in bruises and abrasions. He tells her:
  - Dear, you need to urgently consult a doctor!
  The next day, the wife says:
  - The doctor said it was on the "nervous soil".
  My husband was indignant, ran to a doctor with questions, and he answers him:
  - The deaf your wife, and the horns allowed you to be the same! I told her from "not even soil"!

jokes and funny jokes to raise mood

The joke is beloved, how to make a loved one, anecdotes about men

Every woman is obliged to have in his arsenal a few interesting jokes or jokes dedicated to men. So she can show that not stupid and possesses a good sense of humor.

Funny jokes and jokes about men:

• The girl asks a man on the beach:
  "A man, and you allow one night with you for one night, well, a maximum of a couple of nights?"
  - What are you, girl, I am a real gentleman - for all vacation!
• Two friends communicate:
  - And for a long time you have fun yesterday?
  - Yes, while the corkscrew did not break!
• Two friends are discussing the wife of one of them:
  - Your wife is so superbly dressed, where does she take such dresses?
  - You just won't believe! Already twice we get an erroneous parcel with a suit ordered from the Internet
• - Dad, would you like cool beer?
  - Sure! Are you still asking ??
  - No, I just mock!
• Husband comes from work, his wife asks:
  - Cute, how is your new workplace?
  - quite decent.
  - Is there a secretary?
  - There is.
  - Is she beautiful?
  - Normal!
  - How do she dress?
  - Fast!

jokes beloved, jokes about men

Jokes beloved, jokes about women and girls, funny jokes

Each man must own a set of funny and funny jokes about women to tell their friends, sign and employees. Some of them will raise the mood and beloved girls!

Funny jokes and jokes about women:

• Two girlfriends talk, one complains about life:
  - You imagine, I was given an apartment, yes such a small, such uncomfortable ... I had to quit!
  - apartment ??
  - No husband!!
• A woman goes to the balcony and notices a man's smoking figure under him, shouts:
  - Man, I am very afraid of you!
  - What are you afraid of me?
  - You take me and rape!
  - But how do I get to you ??
  - And I will come down now!
• Returns husband from a business trip, slowly turns the key in the doorway. The wife hears it, grabs the things of the lover and tells him:
  - Well, what a mig jump from the balcony!
  - You, what? She gone crazy?! Here is the thirteenth floor!
  - Once superstitions believe! ONCE!
• Two girlfriends talk on the street:
  - Verochka, I heard you got married Serezhu!
  - Yes, dear, we got married!
  - And how do you marriage? It became better?
  - No, dear, it did not become better ... But it became more likely!
• A woman comes to work, and she has a fingal under the eye. All begin to ask:
  - What is yours? Who is you so?
  - Husband!
  - Wow! But we thought he went on a business trip!
  - And I thought so too!
• The wife resorts to her husband and shouts:
  - Dear, I just raped me !! What should I do, dear!
  - Eat lemon!
  - Well, why is it?
  - Yes, so that your muzzle was not so pleased!

jokes beloved, funny jokes and anecdotes about women

Congratulations joke, how to originally congratulate closest congratulations?

Congratulate a joke is an original and peculiar way to bring a good mood to everyone around at the celebration. Congratulations and jokes are always appreciated, they always bring together and make a fun more fun.

Comic greetings for any holiday:

Your dreams let everyone come true,
All goals in life are achieved.
Wealthy let it be raised
Love and feelings are developing.
Problems, tears and adversity
Forget let the road
The sadness does not stop on the threshold.
I give you my "Congratulations"!

I wish I want good
So as he could catch a beaver for the tail.
I all say that beauty has
Increasingly in fuses of good.
I wish a sturdy house
So that we have been in it more often.
So that in it comfort and heat,
Weight, laughter and beauty!

I wish weakness immense
His wife is beautiful, faithful,
Auto Ferrari
Suit from the brand "Armani"
Let life bring a positive,
Let the cottage stands in the Maldives.
So that the side bypass the colds,
So that the caviar was full stomach!

I want to wish you your holiday
Fall into the whole head salad
Then walk and drink with friends
To then die on drunk.

I wish you to go to my bed
And there I find the beauty.
I wish many victories
And a thousand happy years!

Funny and comic greetings in verse on any holiday

Scenes jokes that can be diluted with holiday or cheer friends

Funny scenes can be used in a variety of directions: for guests' entertainment, at the wedding, for KVN and private parties contests. Funny scenes are always pleasure not only from the joke, but also from acting, facial expressions and gesticulating characters.

Funny scenes for any case:

• The conversation of two artist in the theater:
  - Larisa, did you hear you hit the stage through the director's bed?
  - I need dotting!
  - Larisa, maybe you meant "evidence"?
  - I clearly decided for myself and made my choice!
• Talking in kindergarten:
  - What about this boy?
  - He fainted?
  - But what about? Why?
  - From voltage!
  - And what happened?
  - The teacher played too long with him in "Goat Hogatu!"
• Talking in a dark alley:
  - Are you afraid of me?
  - Not!
  - Why?
  - I am an employee of "Oriflame"!
  - And what does it mean?
  - I can call my "three friends", and they are their "three friends" and each of them are still "three friends"!
• Son and Mother's conversation:
  - Son, you have a birthday soon, what do you want to get as a gift?
  - Tampon! (Speech shouted the boy, my mother was heard)
  - But, son, why Tampon? Do you know what this thing is?
  - Sure! On TV they said that with a tampon you can go to the beach daily, swim in the sea, dancing, run and have fun!
• Talk two friends:
  - Imagine, I broke up with my girlfriend!
  - What is? What happened?
  - Speeding situation came out ... We went together in the shower, she says to me there, they say, let's do bad things ...
  - And what did you do?
  - splashed her shampoo in the eyes ...

Funny scenes and funny humorous stories

Jokes of Russian Radio, Funny statements on various topics

Jokes of Russian Radio are a special kind of humor, which causes a smile from the first words and is remembered for a long time. These jokes are distinguished by special concise, brevity and sarcasm, they do not rarely have "black humor" and are always popular.

Funny jokes of Russian radio:

• The saleswoman in the store possessed so much gross voice that none of the store did not leave without a package
• Children who are sitting in the window by the window and closest in the battery ripen before their classmates
• The supermarket manager and responsible for "timing" the date of death was interrupted twice
• Vasily was incredibly afraid of the operation ... he frightened his patient ...
• Plumbing Fedor The hangover was so great that no one could drag him from the pipe
• At the concert Sergey Zhukov jumps two things: singer and pressure
• mom inadvertently folded the scarf son along with another linen and the match "Spartak" The boy was sick for some kind of "pink crap"
• That kefir is too overdue, Kefir said
• Statistics argue that more than 80% of people are deliberately losing when thank to their hairdresser

Jokes of Russian Radio, Funny Humorous Jokes

Video: " KVN - biathlon contest - the best jokes in the history of the game KVN "

Of course, the difficulties that have to overcome the student reach during this period of their apogee. All this reflects the scenes about students, funny to sarcasm. After all, in order to survive in some situations, it is required with humor to approach the solution of many problems.

Many scenes on funny describe the resourceful studio, the fantasy of which will envy any fictionity.

For example, it comes to respond with a ticket in hand. Professor is tired of nodding his head - they say, start. "Tentable and awesome titi" - pronounces a student with a thinnest language. Professor rounded the eyes: "What ??? Repeat, Bath, question! What such purposes ??? The student says, having slipped the tongue, the root phrase, which in the translation will sound like this: "You see, professor, me yesterday a dog has docked!" - "That can not be! How did it happen? " - "I am a sandwich with a sausage ate, and she fled. I wanted to take me away from me. Now I'm with the knocked language, and the dog is with a biled ear. And the question is: "Centrifugal and centripetal forces". " Professor nods his head, and a student with the help of facial expressions and gestures is trying to bring the answer to him.

I will explain on the fingers of the device of the world

In general, the described episode can serve as a string plot for many intermenids, starting remarkably funny scenes. KVN about students in editions will decorate the miniature, in which the Pantomymy Hitres tells not only about the centrifugal and centripetal forces, but also retells the content of "Othello", explains the device atom, gives an answer to the question "Animal World of Australia."

Alternatively, you can include a translator taken from among students who know well the subject. Even more cool will be the option when a pantomime does not know anything that knows the workformer of the same divibor, but possessing confidence in its right.

So it is impossible to come up - it should have ever been!

Funny scenes about students are mainly born from real facts. These are the so-called short jokes, transformed into miniatures. Many ridiculous scenes about the stratified students have a lack of launching of this social layer, but the eldest character of young people aimed at the present, but for the future, helps them "not steam" about this. For example, situations associated with the saying "forever hungry student" may well become seeds, of which the scenes are growing on the student's day, funny and a little sad.

In the student dining room, the guy buys two sausages on the removal. The fat saleswoman snifflessly joking: "Something new ... you, Petrov, do you walk in any way, you have a holiday?" - "Yes, Taisia, anniversary, I celebrate ... Yes, please, 18 forks!" In the door of the dining room there are students waiting for the jubilee.

Dedication to students

Funny scenes that are necessarily played during this first student holiday, hypertrophied ridicule the life of frivolous young people. On the one hand, they seem to give a damn on the assessments, the deductions from the school and the vital difficulties faced by their fate. But on the other hand, now the student has other priorities, "saints" and "gods". Therefore, funny scenes about students at this event are to some extent based on the fear of young people in front of the dean, strict teachers and exams.

Scene "Circle of the World"

You can play a humorous dedication to students, where the speech is provided by Elder. Young guys are seated in a circle, just as the Indians do. In their hair, they instead of feather sticks sticks and pencils. They smoke "cigarette of the world", which goes in a circle. In order for students about students, funny and full of some sarcasm, they had success, it is necessary to pay special attention to the equipment of the artists: "wise elders" are dressed in tricially with elongated knees and drain T-shirts with cool inscriptions, and "starting young" - in suites with ties and White shirts.

Speech of elders to young students

"My friends! To you, entering the path of war with the Almighty and Brutal Queen of Science, draws his word the one who has already learned this battle. Remember the name of the Great and Almighty Student God named Anunun!

But know, we have no less powerful goddess - the patronage of students named Halyava, which is part-time by the position of Spouse Anunha. To her, kindest and unpredictable, we turn our hot prayers every day and daily about help.

His assistants helping his assistants, the gods, deputies: the brave and elderous brother of Nuifigto, beautiful sisters with a Dapot, Kakobust and Be careful, the kind, constantly harmful Anunau Lelnia Yasodral, will lead, Swim. In the mountain and trouble, the student will always be comforted by the son-in-law of Anunaha, who are in friendship with him: Nuesdam, negotiating and Academy.

Constantly in a state of war with Anununa is just as all all of God-despot Dean. It's with his hard hand runs fate of many of our compatriots! And it is he who tries to overthrow the Anunaha and turn the student fraternity into botanity. But the Anununs with his retinue constantly defeats the goats of the dean, and pofigism, together with century-old detrochet, continue to manage the consciousness of the Great and Independent Brotherhood!

It is worth remembering that his henchmen, Demons, Legurt, courses, challenge, and others help the sinister deanate. Special cynicism and cruelty among them are distinguished by an evil despot of Noods with his wife-worst Tolkodva.

All dark forces per year spend their shabby, when their power receives huge power. These Shabashi are referred to as a terrible word session. During the Sabbath, students are prescribed to conduct a righteous life, in which there is no place to sleep, the female, where everyone observes the beer post and abstaining from Lazagna in the Women's dormitory window, as well as to pray to the good gods to the good gods.

This is the main, my children, what you need to know and remember, entering this slippery, full of suffering and flour path ... Amen! "

We have in KVN.

Speech by the student team KVN.

Comes 1st, reads a letter.

1st. On the village of Grandfather ... My grandfather, Konstantin Makarych! Writes you your grandson Vanka Zhukov. For the second year I study at the university, and for the second year I pray for you tear: take me out of it! All would not be disturbed by no one, and sleep is given, one is bad: the session is twice a year. And then, a cute grandfather, right at least throw everything and run Kuda's eyes look: that exams, then standings, and then Isho something to decide. There is no ureny to tolerate it all, I want to you on a warm stove. Yesterday I was dragging: we ordered to go to KVN to play, sing yes dance! And I'm all in you, a cute grandfather, - neither hearing, nor voice, well, refused. And the guys stood out, threatened to beat, and the rector stood up, looked at me carefully and said that for KVN I am very suitable - funny. So wrote in a student cell: "Give".

The melody of the song "Border" sounds. Behind the scene Creek: "Stream! On the scene step march! ". Cavanechiki is published on the stage of the "train": who is with a guitar who is with a harmonica who is with suitcases and bags.

Everything (sing on the motive of the song "Border"). Took, guys, right without a military registration and enlistment office,
In KVN, they took the joke in the hands of Dali!
You forgive, grandfather, but I will not come to you,
After all, I should play just like everything!

Here you are not border,
There is a way to fight!
In KVN play
We are not for the medals!
In KVN we will play not for the medals -
Spectators so that in the hall clap is not tired.
The girl will come, the laughter will stack,
Say: "Klevo, Milk!"
It is good that our KVN came to the city -
Instead of cigarettes and beer instead.
We will play, KVN start,
Sing and dance, the hall to light.
Just like everyone else, KVN to light.
Just like everyone else!

In KVN play,
Merry will become.
Here you are not border!
Here are students face!
2nd. You will welcome the KVN team ... (Institute name).
1st. Guys, we are students! And started KVN directly like the military! (Sings.) The locomotive will die straight on the border!
3rd. You do not understand anything, the same greeting. We must the jury and the audience about themselves to tell, about our university.
1st. And what are we told this song?
2nd. Well, at least that at our university there is a military department and at the end of the university we are becoming stock officers.
3rd. By the way, guys, do you know that there is no cheerful club in the army?
1st. Why?
4th. Because funny sit on the lip, and resources are at home.
2nd. By the way, being resourceful is great. Response is always needed, especially for us, students.

Music bevel.

Everything (sing on the motive of the song "Cool you got on TV"). In the town of provincial
We lived - we were with you.
We learn left,
Leaving the home of the native.
In the town of beloved our
Suddenly opened a branch.
"Super! - A friendly we said. -
You got, and I got! "

Cool we got with you
In this university,
And I am proud of my university!
Make your choice, not Roby,
Be bold!
There is no more beautiful university, believe me!
1st. Here you have grown year,
Here you have 17.
Where to learn to you then
What to do?
2nd. Be I want an economist.
3rd. And I am a cool programmer.
4th. Engineer to be dreaming.
1st. I am to establish business.
Together. Specialty all these
There are at our university.
2nd. Our city from distant countries
All to us in the university!

Chukchi come out, ebony and new Russian.

Chukchi(sings on the motive of the song "I will take you to the tundra"). On deer long rushed
And I arrived here.
In high school, I want to learn
We will be one family.
To smaller jokes
Composed about me
I learn all sciences,
Although Chukchi I, friends!

Chorus. We will pass, we will do in the outskirts and the center,
And I, however, the student life. However, healing.
Wanted to a disco, I will visit concerts,
Young townoor to himself in the tundra would take away!
Black person (sings on the motive of the song "Chocolate Hare"). I was a chocolate hare,
But learning wanted
And from Africa to your city
Just took and flew.
I told you: "Happy New Year!",
"Go to hell!" - I said.
Your director laughed
And I took a student.
And now I'm at the Institute -
That's what I'm well done!
Well study will become
I am an example and sample.
Lectures, of course I will
Very strictly visiting
And then on change
I will sing and dance.

I will be a student here
Cool intellectual
Beautiful one hundred! Ltd!
Ah, Africa is native,
I miss you,
But I feel good here! Ltd!
New Russian (sings on the motive of the song "If I were Sultan"). "If I were Sultan,"
Sang once me.
I became a new Russian -
Crue Sultan!
I have a villa,
Firms have two
But decided that it was time
Strike me.

To your university, specifically, keep in mind
Sciences will learn different to the sciences.
1st. Students are different.
2nd. So now without education nowhere! And this is not only young people understand, but also our grandmas.

New Russian grandmas come out.

Flower (screaming). But who is hot, with apples, with cabbage?
Matrena. What are you, flower, in trading, what was filed?
Flower. And where to go? Computer grandchildly bought - abyss how much money is worth! All his savings gave. But now everything is: Both the sprinter, and the motor, that is, the monitor, and the mouse.
Matrena (jumps). How is the mouse? Ah, Batyushki, are you with you, what did you bring it?
Flower. White mouse from computer, darkness! There is no time to talk to you, the grandson needs to feed. In the morning I ran away - I did not breakfast.
Matrena (sort of). So what is our kid two-meter eats? What is his menu today?
Flower. Yes, as usual, nothing special. Shany saucepan, cutlets pieces seven, basic salad, pancakes, Cottric Litra Three, watermelon kilogram twelve.
Matrena. With such an appetite only in culinary learn, all cooked try. Why did you choose this institute?
Flower. The granddaughter himself chose, and as he chose - this is a separate song.

It turns out the 5th, sings on the melody "How I wanted me."

5th. How I wanted my mother
In the way to learn to give.
But I'm afraid, brothers,
In the vocational school.
Oh, do not give me a mother!

How I wanted my mother
In the Polytechnic to give
So that I like
Was on Mashzavod.
Oh, do not give me a mother!

How I wanted my mother
In the medical school to give.
Well I have since school
Oh, I'm afraid of injections.
Oh, do not give me a mother!

How I wanted my mother
In agricultural equipment to give
To be the first
Guy on the village.
Oh, do not give me a mother!

Mother tortured with me,
We lost peace.
Well, there is a university!
I will be a cool engineer!
Oh, give me a mother!
3rd. And we continue our disordering and now let's talk about what worries our youth.
4th. Like what? Our studies, profession, our future.

The stage of Serduchka and Glucose will be published on the scene.

Serduchka (Shows a finger towards the student). And this is your choice, docha? Nightmare! Oh, this modern youth, and especially your youth fashion!
(Sings on the motive of the song "Groom wanted".) Here I told you many times:
What are you going to a disco -
Well, just atas!
Well, what kind of jeans, what a shirt,
What a stupid prikid!
Decent guy from you
I swear will run away!
Sweet will run away. You're just a fool!
Glucose. From fashion you are behind, mom,
Almost a thousand years!
And I'm stylish such -
One at the entire faculty.
And very cool I am dressed,
Do not chat nonsense!
And the guy I am an excellent,
Of course, I will find.
I will find - do-do, I already know!
Together. The groom wanted!
Glucose. So I liked
La La La La La!
Together. The groom wanted!
Serdyuchka. Here and stupid,
La La La La La!
1st. Solid misunderstanding!
2nd. The eternal problem of fathers and children!
3rd (straightens). Daughters and mothers!
4th. What's the difference! Just parents forget that they were also children. Ran their puddles, received twos, disappeared on dancing and, of course, played ...
Everything. In KVN!
5th. Let's aunt Vera!
Serduchka (sings on the motive of the song "For four seas"). I remember, I played in KVN!
And many years have passed since then.
Now play and you, student!
I believe, everything will be fine with us.

Student life is always conjugate with humor. Today there is like old anecdotes and new series about it. Students are strange people. They want to get knowledge, but do not want to learn. They want to have fun, but they do not have money at all. It is such paradoxes and cause a smile. Therefore, funny jokes about students for KVN will always be fashionable in our society.

Funny jokes about students

Here are the most interesting jokes about student life, which is full of their surprises. Look at funny reprises and smile, the difficulties faced by those who decided to gnaw granite science.

Students go to cheap supermarkets not because they have little money, but because the future place of work should be studied in advance;

God loves trinity. Therefore, two pairs are equal to the day off;

When a student is silent on the exam, he does not tupit. And simply does not want to be unnecessary obsessive;

One student was so often on the pair, which even slept while sitting in clothes;

To write a unique abstract, a normal student resorts to his own mind or opens the second search page of the search engine;

A real student first rents, but only then asks what he passed it;

Russian students have such a small scholarship that arranged after the university to distribute leaflets, they feel oligarchs.

Jokes about students for KVN

KVN is a student game. Although today the people of almost all ages play it. That is why it never goes without humor about studentism. And here is a small list of jokes about how simple dormitories live.

Getting a diploma as the cancellation of serfdom. You used to live badly, but in slavery, and now you can die freely;

Do not protect me. I will handle it myself! This should be a decent diploma;

Yes, I need to prepare for the exam, but the cat himself will not play with him;

If the teacher on the history turns on a pair "served two comrades", then it is clearly not good;

The signature of the teacher in the tip automatically erases all information about the subject;

Univer is like an army. Only eat and sleep give a little less;

The favorite scientific law of the student is the theory of probability. It is with the help of it a large part of the exams.

How to compose a joke about students?

Study is a completely humorous sphere. And you can compose a joke about her yourself. Just remember the main attributes of this life and try to smire.

In particular, students love to walk a couple. From this you can come up with such a joke: "Good couple, like sex. Abstinence only strengthens the desire "or something like that.

If you yourself were a student, you are or planning to be, then you can try to choose something topical in your situation. In particular, the graduate school can joke like this: "Applicant as a recidivist. Skilled the will of a couple of months and for the second time. "

The main thing is to be able to see humor in different things and think positively. Then you do not need other people's jokes. You will simply be great to compose your own. And this is the main quality of every person who decided to do humor.