One of the signs of good tone implying courtesy. Tact and courtesy: on the other side "Please" and "Thank you

One of the signs of good tone implying courtesy. Tact and courtesy: on the other side
One of the signs of good tone implying courtesy. Tact and courtesy: on the other side "Please" and "Thank you

A woman is a slave, forcing me to serve myself, a man is a lord who obeys. (C) "Life in the light of the house and at the courtyard. "1980. St. Petersburg


We continue the "politeness column", and more accurately talk about the ethics of the 19th century. Today we will talk to you about the relationship of men and women, and the rules that were guided by polite young people of the 19th century. In contrast to the previous material today, we will not fully quote the original source, but we will give information in a simpler for perception of the form focusing only on highlights. The same whatever wonder the texts of the 19th century can find a book "Life in the light of the house and at the courtyard" 1980 of the publisher and "acquire many of the iadses".

"In the etiquette and relationships established by the light, there are many degrees and shades. There is a difference in relationships to quite unfamiliar and only superficially familiar people; Then impressive relationships with friends and, finally, family relationships. But all these gradations are subject to one overall rule, consisting in indispensable observance of politeness, courtesy and tact, and in the absence of egoism: guided by this, easy to get to the real road "
  • Men Having seen in the theater of friends indecent to make them signs, and even more so called them; They are just slightly bow, without getting off the place.
  • Seeing a very important person in the theater, then for bonquing, he should take respectfulness
  • During intermission, and men Suitable for familiar ladies, in what places they are not sitting. The conversation at the same time should not be too longSince it is considered idle. In the next intermission, it is possible to approach the same ladies with their permission
  • If ladies without a cavalier It should be offered to spend them in the lobby and carry out when departure, but in case of failure there should be no insist
  • Men. Offend outsiders can not treatIf there is no close acquaintance with houses, or if they do not come relatives.
  • If a man accompanies the ladies He must offer them ice cream, refreshing drinks or candies.
  • A man should not leave the ladyWith which he accompanies to talk with other women or offer them his services.
  • If he wishes to go out into an intermission, and she prefers to sit in the bed, then the man will be allowed to leave, only for a few minutes in order to shift in several words with a friend, but he has no right to stop with other women.
  • Man, running on hand with a respected woman, wife or relative it is not free to bow to women without social position
  • In the theater, like on the street signs and loud conversations should be avoided, Point your fingers on acquaintances and discuss the game of actors too loudly.
  • Ladiesdo not take a treat from an outsider.
  • Female it is considered to be lost its position in society From the moment she entered reprehensible relations with a man.
  • If a man, accompanying a respected woman or wife, bowed or drew attention to a woman who lost his position in society, a decent woman should immediately leave him
  • Young girlsa better looking at the actresses, and it should avoid looking at love scenes and decolted costumes.
  • Men and women High position occupying in society is silently: they have a sufficiently light gesture of approval.
  • It's impossible to be late.
  • Man, Wishing to service a woman who is accompanied by a cavalier, such as a stool's proposal, in order to avoid troubles, it should turn to the satellite, and not to it itself.
  • Too indispensable courtesy and helpfulness to unfamiliar people are reprehensible and unreasonable.
  • If a man accompanies several ladies His preventability, help, courtesy should be unlimited. He must help women, serve and to give up to them
  • I am ashamed to look at a man walking with empty hands next to the wife, carrying convolii or child: he is obliged to deliver women from every anxiety and fatigue
  • Many predict the introduction in the near future of the English Fashion of Poklov, where women are bowed first: we are not quite understandable to this custom.
  • Do not bow a woman having met in her public placeso offend it and yourself. Such a act or himself recognize as a compromising or woman who has lost position in society.
  • Woman should be So modest and kented in actions and words, so as not to give an occasion to the emergence of unceremoniousness of its environment, and so dare and firmly, to suppress this unceremoniousness if she still arose.
  • MenEven the most rude, to their honor, always turn out to be extremely sensitive to the lesson of courtesy, obtained by them from a woman with a cloth
  • Woman should avoid take secular acquaintances in your bedroom; A young girl cannot afford to himself any pretext. Only a doctor who is close to an elderly relative, or a priest, and that if she is sick and can not stand up to the bedroom.
  • If the woman is patient not strong and the disease does not require lying, She can receive guests on the couch; neither a bit nor unobed head is allowed.
  • A woman has no right to first ask a man about his health; Only after he inquires how she feels, she asks about the same but casual.
  • All sorts of talk about feelings are excluded between young people and girls and ladies.
  • When meeting a woman on a man's street, which will have tactless to stop her or go next to her at that, there should be a pretext to leave himgoing to the store or taking the crew.
  • Dear man does not compromise a woman being close to her And on the contrary, makes respect and her.
  • A woman is a slave, forcing me to serve myself, a man is a lord who will obey.
  • Female Does not raise things that the man drops, but makes you raise what she drops.
  • Female Does not miss it first on the door.
  • Female does not get up at the sight of a man
  • Female he serving a man only at the table.
  • Female Takes the services and courtesy of their cavalor. She is polite and grateful.
  • Removing the way familiar Men, woman insulting him. It is impossible to refuse.
  • Walking with her husband and another man on the street or in the garden woman should go between them: It goes without saying that she goes under hand only with one: To go under your arm with both extremely funny and ugly.
  • Leaving the creweven public the woman has the right to take help even from an unfamiliar man And thank him by the helpful fishing.
  • Man always obliged to help a woman located in difficulty.
  • Womanit is awkward to refuse a man offering her help.
  • Decent woman One will not agree to attend a person who did not submit her wife.
  • During visits female It can not say and go along with one of the visitors to not submit the occasion to E.
  • Man entering the carhouse or other public place must raise your hat or touch it in spite of anyone in particular.
  • Women do not bow at the entrance to a public place, But if they are alone and they bow to an incoming man, then they meet the slight nod of the head.
  • In all closed places where there are women, men must Be without hats and should not smoke.
  • A man should never allow a woman to buy a bouquet in his presence: He must hurry to pay for him and the lady should not interfere with him.
  • Lady of delicacy should not wish to buy flowers, knowing what it will oblige her cavalor.
Here, the book, published in St. Petersburg, published in 1890 in St. Petersburg - "Life in the World, at home and at the courtyard" - the rules of etiquette, intended for the highest sections of the Russian Society of the XIX century.
I think she will be interesting not only to me alone. Therefore, I will slowly scan and lay out the chapters from it.


Log in Svѣt.

Validia bvyt at all.
Upda Svyti, it is known to know the secular customs and lodge, and although it was written on this issue. Not a little manuals of all the same, it remains to say a lot more, if not noovago, then, at least MѣRѣ, useful.
The sign of the world prescribes various laws by various puts, the ages, the floor; These laws are not the same for the secular lady and the mѣshkka, for the young man and the old man, for a young man and young dѣ.
That one would have been the top of a secular one, it would seem riding rudeness from others, -And we should not forget that the knowledge of the world connects the customs of the courtesy.
The minds argue, as if the famous of the hearts began to come from the heart and does not need subordinnence the rules that the grace, dignity, good manners are congenital in the face of a good society, and you often have to listen to the bold well that you will never priorite these qualities of rally, if not possess them arbitrarily, rightly born. Similar Rѣchi-offend and gnut flattened, so how to prompt you that there is nothing to try to prove the already available, or the modesty to inspire you humble hopelessness. With a doubt, the illegal share of the tact, Zdrvago meaning and the feelings of many departs signature, and often we are surprised to comply with deensions by people, whose whole monthly expected this; Three mentioned above qualities would be prompted, both to arrive, and prevent a positive disrupted decorum svtskago. Such a property can be called simply sensitivity.
Heart to teach us to compare unfortunately to the neighbor and treat the pin of them with a kind, as we themselves have been delivered - this is known to St. Common sense caresses us to respect the merit, whatever mѣstly in society it does not occupit-this Tact suggests us when we must say goodbye to not seem intrusive - this subordinnee of the Svytsky law.
But how not to be accomplished to the exclusive nature, do not have a tactom, sound sense and feeling is better to humbly to follow the feeder, established by the rules. To the same, possessing the beautiful heart, you can not know the same time to know what kind of corner of the business card you need to bend in a sign of Sobolitania and what a sign of gratitude!
It would be, however, it would be a mistake to think that it is necessary to obey the Major Rules of etiquette, and that the non-compliance with these rules deserve desperate. Koh Samim, we must be strict and accurately adhere to parcelness, preventability, etc., in Snakers, with our neighbors, and relative to these posts, on the contrary, to provide the greatest condescension; It must be remembered that the many sinners are not very much, but in the Nevnini, and insulting non-unforgettable deichi in others, they risen even less than the clock, and the accused themselves.
You also need to be able to escape the petty rules of etiquettes that can argue to the owners of the house, in inconsistently observing them with the greatest vigilance.
Ceremonial Ceremony Circle Circle Ceremony Circle Confordan: It is necessary, however, to strictly observe the feedback, providing the owners of the house Bolѣe Freedom, rather than sorry.
Previously, go to the sample of the life of life in Svѣtѣ at home and at the courtyard, we will tell him how much words about tact, atzhyliness, deensions and customs.

Vse.

"Vse. for mind is also that beauty for the face," said Voltaire.
Labrusier adds that "you need to possess very outstanding qualities in order not to need to be found."

Vsevness concludes in secto, the public voltraders, having necessary to us in order to be useful and priestly surrounding. It is mandatory in a secular one, like in the dual and in general in life relationships. Feeding without any female, people become impossible. Vsevness softens the morals, warns the quarrels, doubt annoyed and hatred, forcing us to restrain; Thanks to her, we are prior to the love of the highest and respect for the story.
She also deposits trust, if, unfortunately, we are deprived of this dignity.
Vse.-neither quality nor a volunteer, it is a property that we learn and to whom we must teach our devs, so they learn to speak correctly and dwell with taste. Is there anything like a form, which we have been following our actions?
There is a congenital assurance of the heart, which cannot be learned, but, repeat, we are not referring to the chosen nature that is unnecessary to the manager, and to the ordinary mortal, which has human weaknesses, like an indifferent, frivoli, etc.
There is a sign of relatively narms, there is a sign of a dual superiority and a better way to force them to be vy.
Vsevnessarka leaning the rules from the Svytsky customs.
It needs to be impressed by the child of Samago Nazagnago age in order to later she did not become untouched; There may be an exemplary visibility to become insulted in order to whom it applies, and the lowestness from it is provided. Everything is insincere unnatural and more or more exaggerated.

Tact.

Takta is one of the most important SVIDii Sveti. Like and much more, tact may be developed, and you do not need to be desperate if it is not inherent quality. Its npiobroty is violated and observed; These two acts leading to a composed of destroyed and the token is born tact.
Then it is no longer difficult to take a lot of loved ones and respected, no one is offended, I have anyone in any way, and, without having a habitual mind, to enjoy the perfectly brought up and cute special. Tact and disinterestedness in many cases are deployed to educate and even the heart.
By the way, a challenged gift, a timely said courtesy always imagine a double cent; On the contrary, being inexperienced, they lose any meaning.
It is necessary to admit that possessing the highest degree known to the world and deensions, not only the person is elegant, worthy, in the same time, but he is in the same time to suffer, condescension, benevolent to the Nischem, respectable to Higher, he is sensitive, he does not insult anyone. A woman who owns this is known, always enjoys a good reputation, never breaks upon toilet, does not make talk about himself. Do not have a girlfriend, and that even more friends, she needs to educate his decorates, the house of Heria Miren, calm, deceitfully, to be young and beautiful to her, she is always elegant and unwittingly fascinated by him who approaches her.
It is difficult to establish the uncommon rules for various circumstances of life, so how the course of duals often depends on the selection, in which people are located.
In disabilities in one case will be decently in a friend, according to individuals, age, laid and atmosphere.
Circumstances are managed by actions.
Sometimes it seems to act in accordance with the strictest etiquette, sometimes the heart and common sense are the best advisers.
Tact head all: possessing them, you will always find the outcome of the outcome of it difficult.
Tact not completely, too, that common sense, although he leaks out of this postnago, is the sophisticated feeling of how the vigoro is a sight, indicating where and when to stop, which is indecent to have, and that, on the contrary, will produce priestically impressed by the interlocutor.
Takt suggests how it seems to dress in various cases: the voyage are decent for the possessing of a friend who is proud of you, a modest toilet is needed for a visit to one that love to first. There are many, almost elusive outlines, which tact teaches to subside, forming a charming character in domestic and public life.
There are personalities in golden hearts and a lot of advantages, but at the same time to extreme awkward. I will add that for the most part, it is enough insight to notice your awkwardness, when it's too late, and, trying to correct the mistake, even more increase it.
Such a personality will inseparably manage to touch your sensitive string, their exactly magnet attracts a patient with Mѣst, who is carefully hidden by the extension of the gaze.
Despite all the effort to decide this, he can not resist. When they are possessing, Painago, he intends to move the priestly, onѣ, he repeatedly focus on the friend of the Patzient, who died the same Bolѣzni. We were the witness of the conversation two ladies in a very decent, but not a richly furnished living room; There was no chandelier on the ceiling, and the young hostess of the house dreamed of the day, which she would buy a chandelier on saving money. The visitor, quite wanted to please a young woman and even had a big interest in this, did not find anything better, like the fact that the chandelier on the ceiling is needed.
Who out of us knows the like Boltunov?

Badnyakov they are talking about the riches of a neighbor, the losers of the Opponentists, sick-to-fools, inaccessible to them, or the illness of their illness. With the slightest circumstances of life, they will always find a little and offend words, reminding about Tom, which is desirable to forget.
Sometimes they want to be called evil people; It did not happen: they are only awkwards and sophisticated. Evil is often more tact; At the extreme Murѣ, Tѣvm can object and pay the coin. Before fine, we are unfulfilled. They are always not by the way and do not leave during; Their disadvantage of intelligence is sometimes caused by blisfactory. Thickless never know how to do; They fluctuate and always do it worse. I cite very innocent approx. One mother, a svtskaya woman, found it necessary to inspire her daughter, that I should choose the conversation to the eye on the eye of the seeds. Once closely, Comrade, her brother entered the room, Gdѣ young dѣvka was sitting with a girlfriend, waiting for his mother's walk. After a minute, the girlfriend got up to put something from the neighboring room. "Wait, I will go with you," immediately said a young dѣmachka, in such a way awkwardly expressing the unwittingly to remain the same semi-young man.
It was an exaggerated modesty, and the young man had the right to insult. Soon after the girl returned to the living room, the daughter of the hostess of the house itself was caused for something servant, and left, leaving a girlfriend one-second rottyness, so as, on Hed, it was indecent! The girlfriend was found, sat down at the piano and began to play to avoid talking, threatened to interrupt the wrong silence, and was engaged in music to the appearance of the hostess at home. The same is a young ditch, in a similar case, called upon her maid to have a third party with him; She obviously did not know how to take circumstances.
There are characters who have died in innocent tactoms, and it is necessary to admit that one of this is the quality of them by society is extremely priest. Many flaws forgive them; They are never touched by Paintago Mѣsta, but, on the contrary, they are elected priests, stop at the time in Pravashah, without moving to flattery or banality, so in Poriciani, without becoming cruel or evil. Often they say much smoky, rather than each other, but they will choose the right time and expressed.
Like personality do not know difficult; They are always released from the most awkward nose. Their tact and delicacy will be heard for kindness, not being it ... But in life, this is often satisfied with one appearance!
Yes, and why not to assume that tact proceed from a heart, which is the source of all delicate feelings?
Takt serves a huge refressure; He can be far a person of man: but does not hesitate, however, it is believed that the tact does not need a family circle.
Tact, how feeling, it is impossible to determine, it is not elusive. Therefore, the gross characters do not deposit it, and only the elected impressionable nature knows him.
Sometimes a tact is given to Homel a man without being educated and consisting of, and the same time is deprived of him there are a person, set very high.
Takta points out who has to give away from the sites of your living room by honor, whatever courtesy to say to each of them; Tact doubles the Central Committee of Alms and Privit, deprives of poisonousness and softens reproach. You can allow us to allow almost everything, you can almost say almost everything.
Tact and twin intelligence and almost inseparable. Correspondence spreads Bolѣe wide, touching the important items. Tact is limited to BolѣE personal area.


The first vessels in St. T (young girl and a man of a man).

The dѣvka begins to leave in the light of the age of 16 to 20 LѣT, depending on it is developed and also on the circumstances relating to the kote of the mother and the eldest sister. It is expressed "begins to leave in Svѣt" does not designate the fact that the length of it is sometimes lumping, away from society; She appeared in the living room when her was called there; there was at concerts, DTEX in the evenings; But the dual visits of the Mother, she was not sitting with adults, but he entered the room her sacrifice. In short, it was considered a child who was considered a child and only at the age of the age of the bride, the doors of St.orth's life were broken open. Now she begins to ѣ and the theaters, on the Rauta, Ballas and Oblates, the Mother of the Visitals and Vmѣstѣ of the arrival of guests at home.

For the Pervago Bala, it is customary to dress a young girl in Legkiy, a simple, battle costume, a daisy or pink bouton in hair and a blue or pink belt from a tape. Dragotniquies are none, chrome pearl threads. The hairstyle should be simple, without whipping Locks and, in features, without foolpivy hair. Corsage should not be too necolt.
If the girl has a father, then he put her hand to his hall, represents his old friends, and Cavalers who want to dance with his daughter.
A young dog, which is on the first ball in pink dresses, separated by flowers and ribbons, semi-gold necklaces and bracelets, would produce extremely imputent impressive.
For the daytime visits, there is a short dark suit, upper clothes in Talio and a hat - hood. For domestic priests, the costume of Sѣrago (GRIS-Perle) or friend is suitable for sale.
From the day of Pervago, the appearance of a dѣmachy in the world, the squaders leave the business card for one like the same as the mother; In the invitation notes are invited and on the evening and on the events.

The first manner in the light of a young man, who had just left the school bench, was also furnished with duty formalities. First of all, being in the first plug on the ballet, he must take the extremely thoroughness to take care of his costume, whether it is a fracture or uniform; Boots, gloves, hat, tip, hairstyle, everything should be immaculate. What would be moral and mental the quality of the young man, he must forget about them and remember that he is only a dancer and a kind of cavalier on the ball. Therefore, he must try to be like a attentive to the owners of the house n K my ladies, with whom he dances. Umnaya deftly taper between long Tren, not advancing them and without breaking them, rejects the affiliation of the young man to elegant society; His helpfulness to Damam, the young and old, beautiful and ugly, bat and rich, are about his excellent pupil and sophistication of feelings.

To be continued...

True courtesy can be defined as a favor in trifles and consists in preference, every minute delivered to others in everyday relationship. This is constant attention to the needs of those we live.
W. Pitt.

Unfortunately - not a special vice, and a consequence of many vices: an empty vanity, lack of a sense of duty, laziness, stupidity, scattered, arrogance, envy.
J. Labryuer.

The courteous way does not deny directly - change the conversation.
B. Gracian.

Trusting manners shall appreciate the advantages and give them a nurse.
J. Labryuer.

Calizability is the bonds, binding people, alien to each other.
Germen de Stal

Calizability is protection. Culture - shield.
Ana Nin

Be with all causing, but not positive.
William Shakespeare

Calcity asks: gives no "no", the truth will sweeten, even old age will sweeten. In all matters, "how" is important; Friend, like a Shulera, is likely.
Baltasar Gracian-I-Morales

Let your courtesy serves as a bait rather for feelings than for benefits or for the other. One advantages are not enough, since they do not resort to pleasant, - only she will make you loved.
Baltasar Gracian-I-Morales

The essence of courtesy is to strive to speak and behave so that our neighbor is satisfied with us, and by themselves.
Jean Le Labryuer

There is such a kind of behavior that seems arrogant.
Robert Valzer

The greater the man, the more he is guided.
Alfred Tennison

Each person is sensitive to standing, a pleasant manner of talking and relaxed courtesy, and all these qualities prepare the soil in order to be favorably meeting the advantages higher.
Philip Dormer Stenkhop Chesterfield

Calfality and modesty indicate a genuine human enlightenment.
Honore de Balzac

Calizability is the main feature of the culture, a pretended potion, which inspires the unfortunate love, as unacceptable - contempt and indignation.
Baltasar Grasian

Excessive courtesy entails a request.
Chinese proverb

Excessive courtesy always hides pride.
Chinese proverb

The courtesy of the mind lies in the ability to think adequately and sophisticated.
Francois de Larochefuko

Calizability is a prerequisite in relations between decent people: she teaches them to understand the jokes, not to be indignant and not to perturb others to the too sharp or arrogant tone, which often appears from those who are dustily defended their opinions.
Francois de Larochefuko

Calizability will dismiss everywhere
Location and trust
And stupid high-day -
The key to hostility and enmity.
Lope de Vega

Clarity is the courtesy of the people of the feather.
Jules Renar

Excessive courtesy addressed to flatterness.
Japanese proverb

Galanacity, respectfulness, courtesy, courtesy, courtesy, haberdashery, bonton, tactfulness, respect, courtship, delicacy, preventability, subtitality, correctness of the dictionary of Russian synonyms. Trust see ... ... Synonym dictionary

Courtesy - courtesy ♦ Courtoisie court politeness, similar to civil courtesy. In courtiness, undoubtedly, more subtlety, delight and elegance than in simple courtesy. Much more? Then it is no longer courtesy, but snobbery or chemistry ... Philosophical Dictionary Sponville

Courteous, Aya, OE; Yves. Resteractingly polite. W. Visitor. W. Bow. Participation (NARCH.) Reply. Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Swedov. 1949 1992 ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

courtesy - The greatest courtesy ... Dictionary of Russian idiomatics

courtesy - courtesy, and, the same as politeness. Exquisite fine courtesy was a property of manner of communication Larisa ... Explanatory dictionary of Russian nouns

J. Dandrel. SUD by arrival Trusting Explanatory Dictionary. T. F. Efremova. 2000 ... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language

Courtesy, courtesy, courtesies, courtesies, courtesies, courtesy, courtesy, courtesy, courtesy, courtesies, courtesies, courtesies (Source: "Full accentuated paradigm by A. A. Zaliznyaku") ... Word forms

Rudeness ... Dictionary Antonyms

courtesy - Let me take into account, and ... Russian spelling dictionary

courtesy - (3 g), R., D., PR. Meeting ... Orphographic Dictionary of the Russian Language

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