Keeping family traditions a mysterious charm. "we keep the traditions of our ancestors"
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Target: develop an interest in their family history, family traditions, pedigree.
Preliminary preparation:
- Parents' meeting on the topic "Spiritual traditions of the family."
- Search for old documents, things, photographs kept by families. Preparation of the exhibition "Family Heirlooms".
- Writing essays-miniatures on the theme "Traditions and hobbies of my family."
Registration:
Equipment:
- Soundtrack of M. Boyarsky's song "Plant a tree"
- Colored paper, glue, scissors.
Location: 2nd grade.
Conversation progress
Teacher:- The topic of our today's conversation is "Remember your roots." What do you think about the "roots" of our conversation today? (Answers of children.)
Teacher:- We have gathered to talk about your family, about its traditions, hobbies, about your ancestors. Many of you have a lot to share with your classmates. Let's start our conversation with a riddle:
I'll ask you a riddle now.
Listen, here's my family:
Grandpa, grandmother and brother.
We have order in the house, okay
And cleanliness, and why?
We have two mothers in our house.
Two dads, two sons,
Sister, daughter-in-law, daughter.
And the youngest is me
What kind of family do we have?
(Answer: 6 people: grandfather, grandmother, dad, mom, son, daughter.)
Teacher:- Yes, it is not easy for one person to live. And no matter what they say, the family is the main wealth in life. The family where dad and mom were, and then the one that you will build yourself. What's happened FAMILY? (Answers of children.)
Generalization by the teacher: A family is a group of close relatives living together.
Teacher:- Until the beginning of the 20th century, the family consisted of several generations. It is no accident that such a word was formed: "SEVEN" - "I". Everyone lived as one big family, helped each other. Some kept up with the household, others worked in the field. They lived merrily, respected old age, protected the young. The families were big and strong. I found a lot of evidence of this. Let us recall at least folk proverbs, sayings that speak about the family. I will begin the proverb, and together you will try to finish it ...
Being a guest is good, but being at home is better).
There is no need for treasure ... (if there is a way in the family).
Than rich, ... (and so happy).
When the family is together ... (then the soul is in place).
One in the field ... (not a warrior).
Teacher:- Nowadays, families are small, they often have one child. But I wonder in which family is it easier to live in the world? (Answers of children.)
Teacher:- And now, we will try to answer the question together: “Happy family. What is she like? " (Answers of children.)
Generalization by the teacher:- A happy family is when everyone feels good together. Nobody annoys anyone, children do not play pranks, and parents do not quarrel. When parents do not leave their children with grandparents on weekends, and the whole family celebrates holidays amicably and cheerfully. When parents have time to play with their child. When parents and children have common hobbies. When children and adults are on vacation together, they travel together. When children and parents are passionate about one activity, etc.
Teacher:- Do you think all families are the same? (Answers of children).
Teacher:- All families are different, they differ from each other in their habits, customs, hobbies, traditions. You wrote about your families in your essays, and now it's time to talk about your families' hobbies. (Children's stories.)
Teacher: Are there any in your families TRADITIONS? (Children's stories.)
Generalization by the teacher:Tradition is what has passed from one generation to another, what is inherited from previous generations.
Teacher:- From ancient times in Russia there was a custom: representatives of one family were engaged in one type of activity, passing on their skills, labor skills from generation to generation. So were born DYNASTIES... Dynasties of potters, tailors, bakers, soldiers, builders, teachers. For example, in my family my grandmother is a teacher of the Russian language and literature, my mother is a teacher of French and German, and my sister and I are primary school teachers.
Alyosha's mother, Larisa Ivanovna, will tell us about one very famous family, she is a musicologist, head of the archive of the family of the famous musician Mstislav Rostropovich.
(A story about the Rostropovich family).
Students, whose families have dynasties, tell the class about them.
Teacher:- A person is born, gets a name. Parents choose a name according to the calendar (church books) in honor of some saint whose holiday is celebrated on the day the child was born. Quite often, parents give the name they like (fashionable at this period), and other parents name their children after relatives. For example, I was named after my great-grandmother - Olga (photo show). Which of you was also named after your relatives? (Answers of children.)
Teacher:- There are many children in our class who bear beautiful old names. Seraphima, Matvey, Polina, Lyudmila, Grigory, Stephanie ...
Pupil Stephanie talks about the origin of her name.
Teacher:- It is interesting that the most popular female name of all times and peoples is Anna. Almost 100 million of its owners roam the planet Earth.
So, the parents chose the name for each of us. The patronymic is formed on behalf of the father, which in turn was given to him by his parents. Where did the surname come from? The origin of surnames comes from the distant past. Some are derived from names:
Ivanov is a descendant of Ivan; Vasilyeva - Vasily; Grigorieva - Grigory; Zakharova - Zakhara, etc. Some surnames originated from the profession of their ancestors: - Kuznetsovs, Rybakovs, Stolyarovs. Some of them are from geographical names: Gorskie, Polyanskiy, Rzhevskiy. Do any of you know the origin of your last name? (Answers of children.)
Teacher:- As for the most common surnames, the situation with them is as follows: more than 100 thousand Ivanov families live in Moscow alone, in Sweden more than 300 thousand Karlsons, who, of course, do not live on the roof, but in China 90 million Chinese respond with the surname Lee.
Teacher:“Collecting and storing family photos is another tradition.
Every family has photographs that leave a memory of dear people and events for a long time. These photographs are kept in every family. Here is a snapshot of my great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather. The picture was taken at the end of the 19th century. And in this picture is my great-grandmother with her mother Pelageya. But this is my great-grandfather - the husband of great-grandmother Olya, after whom I was named Olga. We keep these photos with great care.
I love this sacrament of the kind,
A family spirit that lives on
Forcing the heart of the people
To be friends with the beauty of the past.
"Essay by Rastrelli" S. Kopytkin (1915)
Children's story about old photographs kept in the family archive.
Teacher:- Time will pass, and your children and grandchildren will look at your photos, which you will leave in the family archive.
Student: The poem "Family photography" (Valentin Berestov):
I put on a new sailor suit
And the grandmother straightens her hair,
Dad is wearing new striped trousers
Mom is wearing a loose jacket,
Brother is in a great mood,
Blush and smells like strawberry soap
And waits for obedience to sweets.
We solemnly carry the chairs out into the garden.
The photographer guides the camera.
Laughter on the lips. Excitement in the chest.
Silence. Click. And the holiday is over.
Teacher:- Guys, what makes a house a home unlike other houses. What surrounds you in the apartment? (Answers of children.)
Teacher:- A person lives, uses any things that are dear to him, associated with various events in his life. And even when a person is no longer in the world, we continue to take care of his things, preserving with their help the memory of a person dear to us.
Many houses have family RELICS- things sacredly kept as a memory of the past.
Children's stories about family heirlooms.
Teacher:- With the advent of modern means of communication, people write letters less and less, more and more often they confine themselves to telephone conversation. But for our ancestors, letters were the main means of communication at a distance. In my family, letters and postcards from our relatives are a relic. Letters ... They are touching, mysterious, keep the spirit of the past. I want to show you a letter that my great-uncle, Stepan Averyanovich, wrote to his beloved wife Katerina when he was serving in the Guards Corps. A letter was printed on an old typewriter, where even at the end of words "b" is attributed. The letter is dated January 19, 1918. It is also kept in our family as a relic (an excerpt is read out).
A person is born into the world, grows up, thinks: “Who am I? Where are my roots from? " People have always honored their ancestors. The pedigree was written out on separate scrolls, which were passed on to subsequent generations. A.S. Pushkin was proud of his ancestors to such an extent that he ordered to insert a button from the uniform of his distant ancestor Abram Hannibal into his favorite cane, which he almost never parted with, and always proudly showed it to his friends.
Teacher:- Today we will get acquainted with science GENEALOGY.Genealogy is a branch of science that studies the origin of the genus. Translated from Greek, it means "genealogy", i.e. ancestor science.
The history of the genus is depicted in the form of a branched tree, which is called PEDIGREE TREE -a list of generations of the same genus, where the origin and degree of kinship is established.
For example, the same A.S. Pushkin's family tree had 5000 historical names. The tradition of compiling family trees is returning to families.
(Parents' stories about family trees.)
Teacher:- Why do you need to follow family traditions, honor, respect them, preserve, pass on from generation to generation? (Answers of children):
Ask your family members more often about their childhood, let them tell you as much as possible about their life.
Teacher:- We talked about your families today. But we must not forget that we have another large and friendly family - a family of students united by common interests. Our class is a family for all 11 school years. Our team will also gradually develop their own traditions: matinees, holidays, excursions, hikes.
I propose to plant the tree of friendship of our class today.
(To the soundtrack of Oscar Feltsman's song "Plant a Tree" performed by M. Boyarsky, the students cut leaf pens out of colored paper and stick them onto a prepared tree trunk).
Summing up the class hour:
Teacher:- Did you like our conversation today? How many of you wanted to know more about your ancestors? What questions have appeared that you want to ask your parents?
How long ago was the last time you made dumplings with your whole house? And when they gathered with all the relatives and went ... to the cemetery to visit the graves of loved ones who had passed away? Can you remember the last time all family members sat in the same room and took turns reading interesting books aloud? The pedagogue-psychologist of the highest category Tatiana Vorobyova and Priest Stefan Domuschi, head of Department of Doctrine Disciplines of the Orthodox Institute of St. John the Evangelist.
TRADITION 1. FAMILY JOINT MEAL
Do you know that, according to Domostroy, the younger was not supposed to start eating or trying this or that food at the table before the head of the family (or the most distinguished of the guests) did it? And what to wait for each other for a joint meal, not to pounce on food before everyone comes, and not to eat too much, thinking about what will get to others, the Apostle Paul recommends to the first Christians in his epistles?
You can rightly say: now we live in a completely different rhythm than the people of the times of Domostroi. Right. But to write off the tradition of a common meal for "irrelevance" is still not worth it. During a common family feast, the most important mechanisms of interaction between family members are developed and consolidated. Which?
First, the ability to adapt to all those close to you. “Sitting at a common table and sharing food with our loved ones, we conquer the selfishness that is natural for a fallen person, we learn to share the most important thing: that which is the basis of our life,” says priest Stefan Domusci.
Secondly, the tradition of eating together teaches us to communicate, listen and hear each other not on the fly, meeting in a common corridor, but for at least 20 minutes. It would seem a trifle, but it is worth a lot.
Thirdly, there is an educational moment in a joint meal. Only, as psychologist Tatyana Vorobyova says, contrary to common practice, he does not presuppose the teachings of a strict father and constant beating of the child on the forehead with a spoon, but that at the table the child learns good behavior, learns to look after others.
But modern life introduces nuances: we come home from work at different times, everything is in a different state, the wife is on a diet, the husband is not in the mood. How to be? According to Tatyana Vorobyeva, a joint family meal today can be expressed in other, not entirely familiar forms. “There is a so-called“ meal with everyone, ”explains Tatiana Vladimirovna. “It’s more likely not about the physical presence of all family members at the table, but about what and how we prepared.” You need to find time not only to feed your family, but to please them, remember what they love, take care of even the smallest things.
TRADITION 2. CO-COOKING, "FAMILY" DISH
Preparing for a meal can help you find common ground and improve relationships between family members just as effectively as having lunch or dinner together. Many people remember that even 20 years ago, universal molding of dumplings or baking a cake was perceived as a solemn family ritual, and not boring household chores.
According to the priest Stefan Domusci, it is useful to cook together not only famous dishes, but also something new: “An old recipe helps to feel the connection between generations, a vivid memory of those who also prepared this dish many years ago. The new one is to unite everyone in joyful anticipation: will the conceived succeed, will it be tasty? "
The main thing, according to psychologist Tatyana Vorobyeva, is teamwork, when everyone makes their own contribution to the common cause. It is important that, for example, the troubles for the arrival of guests do not fall only on the mother and that responsibilities are distributed according to their strength. And for children, this is a chance to feel significant, needed.
TRADITION 3. HOME HOLIDAYS
Home celebrations still exist today. So what have we forgotten about this tradition? A very important detail: in the old days, the holidays were not limited to a feast, until the middle of the twentieth century, home performances, a puppet theater, games for both children and adults were organized (like "living pictures", which even members of the imperial family played, or " literary loto "), the release of a home newspaper.
What should the whole family celebrate? Only New Years, Christmas or birthday?
Even the smallest dates or anniversaries that are significant for each individual family member need to be celebrated, says psychologist Tatyana Vorobyova. On this day, the daughter went to school, on this day the son entered the institute, on this day he came from the army, and on this day, mom and dad met. It is not necessary to celebrate with a feast, the main thing is attention. “The family differs from friends and acquaintances in that relatives remember all the smallest, but important milestones in a person's life,” explains Tatyana Vladimirovna. "He is significant, his whole life has value."
Any holiday and its preparation is a lively, non-virtual and unhurried communication, which (we have to repeat) in our century is less and less. “Every holiday gives an opportunity to check whether he knows how to really communicate,” says Father Stefan. - It often happens that a husband and wife see each other only a couple of times a day and exchange only news with each other, and therefore, when they have a free evening, it turns out that they have nothing to talk about heart to heart as close people. In addition, - the priest reminds, - Orthodox holidays give believers the opportunity to receive communion with the whole family, to feel that the basis of true family unity is not only blood ties, but participation in the Body of Christ itself. "
TRADITION 4. TRAVELING TO FAR RELATIVES
If you want to denigrate a person, then, rest assured, no one will do it better than his relatives, - noted William Thackeray in the novel "Vanity Fair". But at the same time, the tradition of frequent visits to relatives - near and far, to strengthen family ties, is known in many cultures.
Often a difficult and boring "duty" - is there any point in maintaining such a custom?
The need to adapt to “distant neighbors” and to endure the inconveniences associated with this can turn out to be a plus for a Christian, says priest Stefan Domusci. “A modern person communicates more often with friends, work colleagues, with those with whom it is interesting to communicate,” he says. - And in a big family - everyone is different, everyone has their own interests, their own life. Thus, communication with distant relatives helps to overcome the consumer attitude towards people. "
In any case, the priest believes, truly good relations, true friendship must be learned: to learn to value people for what they are, and not to treat them as a source of services and opportunities.
The question is ambiguous - Tatyana Vorobyova considers: indeed, from time immemorial, the family was a value, but today there are no such close ties - the family could be kept from internal splits! “Sometimes, when visiting distant relatives, one can meet envy, dislike, and discussion. Then this train of unnecessary conversations and clarifications goes after you, and this is not useful to anyone, ”says the psychologist. “Remembering kinship has not bothered anyone yet,” she is sure, “however, first of all, you need to establish and maintain relationships in your own family:“ my home is my fortress ”.
TRADITION 5. CHILDREN'S LEISURE
Tents, kayaks, large mushroom baskets. Today, if such attributes of an active family holiday have survived in houses, they often simply gather dust on the balcony for years. Meanwhile, joint leisure fosters trust and interest in parents in children. “This, in the end, decides whether the children are comfortable with mom and dad or not,” says Tatiana Vorobyova.
Living examples, and not edifying words, educate a child, and on vacation, various situations, pleasant and difficult, are more varied than at home. “You can see everything here,” says Tatiana Vladimirovna. - Is it fair or not, we decide certain issues, how we distribute responsibilities, who will take on a heavier backpack, who will go to bed last, making sure that the house is clean and everything is ready for tomorrow. Therefore, the time spent together is an important lesson that children will learn in their own families. ”
Unobtrusive lessons of behavior not at the school desk, but in the form of a live dialogue will be deposited in children's memory and will be fixed much more reliably!
“Joint recreation also contributes to the fact that the child learns the world of living nature, learns to treat it with care,” says Father Stefan. “Besides, it’s an opportunity to talk, talk about important things alone or all together.”
Today it is quite fashionable to spend vacations separately, to send children to camps. According to the psychologist, the desire to send a child on vacation to a children's camp to the detriment of family leisure can be the beginning of family separation: “It is better that the time spent by the family together is as much as possible. But with a proviso: you don’t have to do anything by force ”.
TRADITION 6. READING OUTOUND IN THE CIRCLE OF THE FAMILY
“In the evenings, especially in winter, when we were alone, we read together: for the most part she, and I listened. Here, in addition to the pleasure produced by the reading itself, it was also delivered by the fact that aroused our thought and served as an occasion sometimes for the most interesting judgments and conversations between us on the occasion of some thought, some incident encountered in the book, ”he describes reading aloud with his wife poet and literary critic MA Dmitriev (1796-1866).
We read aloud in the family circle, in a friendly circle, parents read to children, children - to parents.
Today, perhaps, only reading aloud to children remains. But even on this custom, Tatyana Vorobyova argues, modernity leaves its mark.
“Considering our busyness and the intensity of life, it is more realistic to read a book and tell a child about it, recommend it, retell its storyline, and interest. Moreover, the book should be recommended emotionally meaningfully, that is, with genuine interest. "
The advantages are obvious: a taste for reading and good literature is formed, moral issues that can be discussed are raised in the books. And besides, the psychologist argues, we ourselves must be educated and savvy in order to go one step ahead and recommend what will correspond to the child's outlook and interests.
If we are talking about two adults - spouses or adult children - then it makes sense to read some kind of spiritual literature together. On one condition: the one who wants to hear must read. “You have to be careful here,” explains Tatyana Vladimirovna, “you can't impose anything.”
Children very often reject what we consider it our duty to inspire them. “Recently,” recalls Tatyana Vorobyova, “I had a boy at a consultation who shouted that his mother made him believe in God. You cannot force.
Give your child the opportunity to become interested, for example, leave the children's Bible in front of him, put a bookmark, and then ask:
Did you see I left you a page there? Have you looked?
I looked.
Did you see it?
And what was there to see?
And I read it there! Go find, look.
That is, you can gently push a person to interested reading. "
TRADITION 7. COMPOSITION OF PEDIGREE, MEMORY OF GENDER
Genealogy as a science appeared only in the 17th-18th centuries, but knowledge of one's roots has always been of great importance. To join the modern Order of Malta, you still need to show a solid pedigree. And if we do not need to join the Order of Malta? ... Why should we know more about our ancestors than our great-grandfathers and great-grandmothers?
“It always seems to a selfish person that there was nothing before him and there will be nothing after him. And compiling a family tree is a way to realize the continuity of generations, to understand your place in the world, to feel responsibility before past and future generations, ”says Father Stephen.
From the point of view of psychology, the memory of one's kind, knowledge of one's ancestors helps a person to form himself as a person, to improve his own character traits.
“The fact is that infirmities and shortcomings are transmitted from one generation to another, and an unremoved deficiency will not go anywhere, it will grow from one generation to another,” says Tatiana Vorobyova. - Therefore, if we know that someone from our family was, say, hot, hot-tempered, we must understand that this can manifest itself in our children. And we need to work on ourselves in order to eliminate this fervor and irascibility. " This is true for both negative and positive traits - something can be hidden in a person that he is not aware of, and this can also be worked on.
And for a Christian, the memory of the family, the knowledge of the names of their ancestors is, in addition, the opportunity to pray for them: a real thing that we can do for those to whom we owe our lives.
TRADITION 8. REMEMBERING THE SLEEPING, JOINT CEMETERY
Seven times a year, Orthodox Christians specially find time to attend divine services, go to the cemetery and commemorate their deceased relatives - these are parental Saturdays, the days when we especially commemorate the dead. A tradition revived in the Russian Church in the 1990s.
How and why should you implement it with your family?
Of course, this is a reason to gather all together for the Liturgy.
What else? To understand that members of one family are responsible for each other, that a person is not alone in life and after death. “Memories of the departed encourage us to be more attentive to the living,” says Father Stefan.
“Death is a difficult moment. And therefore it is important that at this moment the family is together - we unite, we do not separate, - explains Tatyana Vorobyova. “However, there should be no violence, no“ obligation ”- this should proceed from the needs of each family member and from the capabilities of each.”
TRADITION 9. FAMILY RELICS
"Throw it away, take it to your dacha, sell it to an antique shop?" - the question in relation to the things we inherited from our grandparents often stands this way.
However, any such thing on a difficult day can be a consolation for us, says psychologist Tatyana Vorobyova. Not to mention photographs, memoirs and diaries - unique things that reveal the fine lines of a person's soul, which are closed in everyday life. “When you read about your loved one, you recognize his thoughts, his sufferings, sorrows, his joys, experiences, he comes to life and becomes much closer and more understandable to you! - explains Tatyana Vladimirovna. "And, again, it allows us to understand our own character traits, reveals the reasons for many events in the family."
It often happens that old postcards and letters shed light on such details of the biographies of our great-grandfathers that could not have been - for personal or political reasons - disclosed during their lifetime! Antiques, letters - "documents" of a bygone era, about which we, thus, can tell children much more exciting and lively than a history textbook will do.
And, finally, antiques, especially donated ones, with engraving, dedication - the door to the living personality of a person. “Holding in your hands a thing that belonged to your great-great-grandfather, re-reading old letters, looking at postcards, photographs - all this gives a feeling of a living connection, maintains the memory of those who have been gone for a long time, but thanks to whom you are,” says Father Stefan.
TRADITION 10. MANUSCRIPT LETTERS, CARDS
Have you not noticed how difficult it is today to find a postcard with an empty spread - so that you can write something on your own? In the last century, the spread was always left blank, and the postcards themselves were a work of art. The first ones appeared in Russia in 1894 - with the image of the landmark and the inscriptions: "Greetings from (such and such a city)" or "A bow from (such and such a city)." Is there any real benefit - to receive from a loved one not an mms from city N, but a real letter or a postcard?
If you think about it, any hand-written postcard or letter is an occasion to express your thoughts and feelings without the usual abbreviations, in beautiful, correct language.
“Real letters, without jargon and abbreviations, without distortion of the language, develop the skill of thoughtful, deep and sincere communication,” says Father Stefan. Moreover, according to the priest, such letters do not have to be written by hand at all, they can also be e-mails - the main thing is that the letter encourages distraction from haste and encourages joint reflections.
Tatyana Vorobyova believes, on the contrary, that it makes sense to write letters by hand - then it is the living voice of another person, with all personal nuances.
TRADITION 11. MAINTENANCE OF A PERSONAL DIARY
“Several times I took to daily notes and always retreated out of laziness,” wrote Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin, and in what, and in this kind of laziness, many of us are “in solidarity” with the great poet! ..
Personal diaries in Russia have been kept since the 18th century: they could have a literary form, including the experiences and reflections of the author, or they could be schematic, like, say, the diary of Emperor Nicholas II, containing short messages about daily activities and even menu items.
In addition, recording what happened is a way to look at your life from the outside, to see not a fragmentary, but a complete picture. In our time, when the days are full and pass like seconds, this is doubly important!
“Keeping a diary is not just about writing down what happened during the day, it’s an opportunity to reflect on your life,” says Father Stefan. "Besides, by rereading the diary, you can trace the evolution of your thoughts and feelings."
Electronic diary - an option?
Yes, if he is not overly frank, says the priest. In his opinion, publicly available personal notes on the Internet can be both an invitation to discuss their thoughts, and a game for the audience, coming from vanity.
In a regular diary, you may be ambiguous, but you know what you mean. On the Internet, almost anyone can read your blog, which means that you must learn to clearly formulate your thoughts in order to be understood correctly. Blogging people are well aware of the violent controversy and even quarrels that can lead to discussions of misunderstanding.
TRADITION 12 WELCOME
“One should be friendly and give due honor according to the rank and dignity of each person. With love and gratitude, with an affectionate word to honor each of them, to talk to everyone and a kind word to greet, and to eat and drink, either put on the table, or give out of your hands with a kind greetings, and otherwise send something, but each with something- then highlight and please everyone, ”says Domostroy about hospitality, that is, inviting strangers into the house and family.
Today most of us do not live in Domostroy. What about this tradition?
There are many cases when a priest blesses a family to accept a person, and then this person, who has healed, stayed too long, becomes hated by him - and he is tolerated only out of obedience. “Obedience with hatred and irritation is not good for anyone,” says psychologist Tatiana Vorobyova. - Therefore, you need to proceed from your real capabilities, from sober reasoning. Today, receiving strange is an extraordinary, unusual thing and takes other forms. If you cannot settle a person in your house, help as much as you can: with a piece of bread, money, prayer. The main thing is not to push it away. "
At the same time, the psychologist believes, hospitality can be useful only when all family members agree to it. If everyone agrees to endure some kind of inconvenience - stay in d ´ ears not 15 minutes, but 2; wash the dishes after the guest; go to work early, etc., then it is possible. Otherwise, the moment will come when, for example, the son will say to his parents: "You let this person in, but it annoys me, depresses me." And throwing, hypocrisy will begin - an attempt to please both the son and the one who was accepted. And any hypocrisy is a lie, which is in no way useful for the family.
Father Stephen is convinced that spiritual hospitality is an attempt to go beyond the family, beyond corporate interests and simply help a person. How to implement it today? You can try to accept, without refusing, even if not strangers, but at least distant relatives, acquaintances who are in need and turn to you with such a request.
TRADITION 13. GAMES ALL YARD
Today many people yearn for the friendly life that used to reign in the courtyards. “A good childhood friendship experience sustains a person throughout his life,” says priest Stefan Domusci. Neither parents nor grandparents will ever be able to replace communication with peers for a child. In the yard, a teenager can acquire those life skills that he will never learn in a greenhouse home.
What to look for when a child goes out to play in the yard?
“What you have laid at home will certainly manifest itself in social communication,” says Tatyana Vladimirovna. - It is immediately obvious: the child is playing honestly or dishonestly, scandalous or not scandalous, is he proud of these games or can he still be patient, give in? What have you brought up in him, what have you laid, so he will go out into the courtyard: is he his own general, or is he a comfort man and will cave in under others? Will all the boys smoke poplar leaves and he will smoke? Or will he say, “No, I won't smoke”? You need to pay attention to this. "
TRADITION 14. WEARING ON CLOTHES ONE BY ANOTHER
A fact that seems incredible: in the family of the last Russian emperor, the tsar's daughters literally wore their clothes one after another. Researcher Igor Zimin in his book "The Adult World of Imperial Residences" writes: “When ordering each new dress, Alexandra Feodorovna was really always interested in its price and complained about the high cost. This was not a triviality, it is a habit absorbed from the days of a poor childhood and enshrined in the English Puritan court of Queen Victoria. The closest friend of the Empress wrote that “brought up in a small court, the Empress knew the value of money and therefore was thrifty. Dresses and footwear passed from the older grand duchesses to the younger ones. "
Today, in many homes, wearing clothes is a requirement of the time: there is nothing left to do if the family is large and the income is not. But is that the only thing?
“The tradition of wearing clothes will help to learn a reasonable and careful attitude to things, and through this - to the whole world around us,” says Father Stefan. “In addition, it develops a sense of responsibility in a person, since he must keep the clothes in good condition and pass them on to someone else.”
From the point of view of psychologist Tatyana Vorobyeva, this fosters modesty in a person and the habit of caring for others. And the attitude to such a tradition - a feeling of shame and annoyance or a feeling of kinship, closeness and gratitude - depends entirely on the parents: “It must be presented correctly - as a gift, a gift, and not as rags:“ What a caring brother you have, what a fine fellow! Look, he wore his boots neatly so that you can get them when your day comes. Here he came! ” When we give away a gold watch, this is very significant, but when we give back good shoes that we took care of, laid with paper, missed, cleaned - isn't it a gift? We can say, for example, like this: “Our Andryushka ran in these boots, and now, son, you will run! And maybe someone will get them from you - you take care of them ”. Then there will be no disdain, no disgust, no feeling of inferiority. "
TRADITION 15. WEDDING CUSTOMS
It was only during the time of Peter the Great that young people were officially allowed to get to know each other on their own, at will, only in the time of Peter I. Before that, everything related to the birth of a new family was strictly regulated and driven into the framework of dozens of customs. Today their pale resemblance remains, but the proverb "To be at a wedding, but not to be drunk is a sin", alas, still sits deep in the minds of many people.
Does it make sense to observe wedding traditions, if so, which ones?
“A Christian should always be serious about what he fills his life with,” says Father Stephen. - There are a lot of wedding traditions, among them there are both pagan and Christian, both decent and very bad ... Respecting traditions, it is important to maintain a balance, remember that marriage is, first of all, a Sacrament, and not a series of customs to be performed ” ...
Perhaps, few people will regret the past tradition of throwing mother-in-law in the mud on the second day of the wedding. But the revival of such forgotten customs as engagement, betrothal (an agreement preceding the time of the wedding), it would be worth thinking about.
“At the same time, it is hardly worth reviving engagement as just a beautiful custom - to put on rings and take a vow of fidelity,” says Father Stefan. - The fact is that in church law, engagement is equated to marriage in terms of obligations. Therefore, each time the issue of betrothal should be decided individually. Today there are a lot of difficulties with the wedding, but if people are offered an engagement as well ... The question arises: will this not be imposing on people “burdens unbearable”? "
Tatiana Vorobyova also advises to be careful, without fanaticism, to treat wedding traditions: “Husband and wife take upon themselves on this day the hardest cross of responsibility for each other, patience of weakness, fatigue of each other, sometimes misunderstanding. Therefore, the only undisputed wedding tradition, in my opinion, is a parental blessing for marriage. And in this sense, the old custom of giving an icon to a young family - usually these are wedding icons of the Lord and the Mother of God - as a sign of blessing, of course, has a deep meaning. "
According to the psychologist, the main message that parents should convey to the newlyweds is their acceptance by their parents as husband and wife. Children should know that from the moment of the wedding, the parents will not separate them, figure out who is right and who is wrong, and will make every effort to preserve their union. This approach gives rise to the confidence of a young family in their parents and helps to realize themselves as a single whole, indivisible.
“Grunting, murmuring of a father or mother, such a“ noble curse ”to a family that has not yet been born is the worst thing that can be! - Tatiana Vorobyova thinks. - On the contrary, young spouses should feel that their parents perceive them as a whole. And, let's say, in the event of some disagreement in the family, the mother-in-law will not condemn the daughter-in-law, say: "My son is the best, he is right!"
TRADITION 16. PARENTAL BLESSING
The future Reverend Sergius of Radonezh did not disobey his parents when they did not bless him to go to the monastery until they died. But the Monk Theodosius of the Caves fled to the monastery against the will of his mother, who brought him back from the path and even beat him ...
The latter is rather unusual. “A parental blessing does not sink in water, does not burn in fire,” our ancestors noted. “This is the biggest legacy that parents leave to their children. Therefore, children should take care to receive it, ”explained Paisiy Svyatorets, a modern Athos ascetic. However, the Church does not believe that the commandment "honor your father and mother" is associated for a Christian with absolute obedience to his parents.
“Sadly, over the centuries this commandment was perceived in Russia in such a way that parents were considered almost masters of their children, and any disobedience was boldly equated with disrespect. In fact, there are words in the New Testament that make this commandment reciprocal: “And you fathers do not irritate your children ...”, says Father Stephen, explaining: “The parental desire to do what they think is right should be balanced by the desire and freedom of the children. : you must try to listen to each other and do everything not out of selfish desires, but with reasoning. "
Today it is rather customary to choose your own path on your own: for example, simply inform your father and mother about the upcoming marriage. Isn't the institution of parental blessing dead - at least for marriage?
“The blessing of the parents is very important at all times. This is evidence of how important a father and mother are for their children, says psychologist Tatyana Vorobyova. - Moreover, this is not about the authoritarianism of parents, but about their authority - that is, about the trust of children to their parents. And this trust is a consequence of correct upbringing. "
On the part of children, obedience to parents, according to the psychologist, indicates a person's personal maturity.
However, Tatyana Vladimirovna notes, parents are different, motives are different: “You can love with a blind, humiliating love, for example, when a mother dares to choose a wife for her son, based on her own selfish motives. Therefore, parents must remember: children are not our property, they are given to us “on loan”, they must be “returned” to the Creator. ”
TRADITION 17. FAMILY ADVICE
“You may have a thousand outside advisors, but the family must make the decision itself and together,” Tatiana Vorobyova is sure.
Firstly, everyone speaks here - sincerely, unhypocritically, the opinion of all family members is taken into account, which means that everyone feels significant, everyone has the right to be heard.
Secondly, the skill of developing a common opinion is very important: we speak out, listen, oppose each other - and thus we find the only correct solution.
“This approach does not give any reason to blame each other later:“ And you decided so! ” As, for example, mothers often say: “You raised your children like that!” Excuse me, but where were you at that moment? .. "
If it is not possible to come to a consensus, then the final word may remain with the head of the family. “But then,” warns Tatiana Vorobyova, “this word should be so weighty, so reasoned or built on such high confidence that it will not cause anyone the slightest doubt or discontent! And it will lead to subordination of trust to the head of the family. "
TRADITION OF THE PATRIARCH
By the way, few people know that on every visit to St. Petersburg, His Holiness always leaves time to visit the graves of his parents. Here is how the press secretary of the Patriarch, Deacon Alexander Volkov, tells about this tradition: “The Patriarch always visits the cemeteries in St. Petersburg to commemorate his parents<…>... Always - it means absolutely always, every time. And this, of course, leaves a very strong feeling - who the parents were for the Patriarch, how much he loved them, what they did for him in life and how grateful he is to them. And you always wonder how often you yourself visit the graves of your relatives (and if possible, apart from the graves of his parents, he visits several other places of burials of relatives, we just do not report this). In general, the Patriarch gives a very instructive example of the attitude towards deceased relatives. And the inscription on the wreath - "to dear parents from a loving son" - is completely informal. "
The family is the foundation of the state. The existence and well-being of the state depends on how strong and friendly each family will be.
It is a voluntarily established unit of society by the root cause of creation, which is love and respect between spouses. The fundamental task of every family is procreation, which is carried out at the birth of children, who are traditionally passed on family values and traditions.
People remember the traditions that were laid down and followed in the family, for example, the obligatory celebration of the New Year with the family.
Celebration of May 9
May 9 is a sacred holiday for all Russians, when they pay honor and respect to everyone who died on the fields of the Great Patriotic War. New emerging tradition. Annual march of the Immortal Regiment. This tradition shook the whole country, because in Russia there is not a single family that was not scorched by the flames of the Second World War. Marching in a single formation of the Immortal Regiment, the people of one country feel how united they are and are ready to defend the freedom and independence of their country. This wonderful tradition should be passed on to the younger generation so that young people know and honor the memory of all those who died in the war.
Russia has a strong tradition of large families. Every year the President of the country presents awards to the best representatives of large families. Each family has its own, sometimes uncomplicated traditions, but they determine those norms of behavior and attitudes that are considered unshakable for the family. Grandparents, giving their care and love to their grandchildren, can be sure that their grandchildren will not leave them in the plight of lonely, forgotten old people, because the family tradition is based on the care and guardianship of weak loved ones.
What can you do to keep your family together?
To make the family friendly, you need to make a little effort, for example, take the tradition of arranging family councils as a tradition. General family councils, where pressing problems are solved together and a collegial decision is made.
Here are some tips for keeping your family together:
- Always celebrate the birthdays of all family members. It is very important for children that they are remembered and loved, therefore they arrange a birthday party for them.
- The revived tradition of baptism of children. In deeply religious families, this tradition has never been interrupted.
- It is a very good tradition when the whole family goes to the bosom of nature or spends a vacation together. It is not a bad idea for the whole family to go on educational excursions to museums, cities and countries.
Family values are of no small importance to the family. Moreover, it can be not only a jewelry box. In all the twists and turns of the 20th century, few could preserve family jewels, but albums with yellowed photographs can tell a lot about the history of the family's ancestors. Photos will help restore the historical roots of the family and build the family tree of family history. Children, seeing with what love, parents relate to the past of their ancestors, will transfer this tradition to their families, where they will sacredly honor and preserve family traditions. Conclusion:
Family is the most important thing in a person's life. Parents should be aware that the memory of the traditions and values of the family, embedded in childhood, will be reliably stored and passed on to the future generation.
Family customs and traditions Not serves for denial, nor- for approval or for effort-
negation, where not stands with the predicate.
126. 1) The driver said that the bus is going to the park. ( Explained.)
2) The student did the job so that he had to redo it.
(Mode of action.) 3) A friend said he was busy in the evening. ( Explained.)
4) This holiday was a success because the guys tried very hard.
(Causes.) 5) We could not understand what was going on. ( Explained.) 6)
Suddenly I remembered an incident that happened in the past le-
volume. ( Defined.)
127. Keep family traditions ( keep traditions- up-
management, family traditions- agreement), mysterious
charm, war veteran (management), spring carnival, paradise
onny festival, young talents, leather suitcase, glass
showcase, wind turbine, future generations, windy
yes, comment on the chess game in detail ( in detail
to comment on- adjacency, comment on the game –
control, chess game- agreement), collect a hundred-
rinny coins, spicy herbs, seating yard.
NN are written in adjectives derived from the creature-
solid with a stem ending in n(spring, song), a
also with the suffix yenn(an exception - windy).
N spelled in adjectives with suffixes an(yang),in (leather-
ny,silver,mouse). Exceptions: glass, tin-
ny,wood.
128. 1) Try to choose a book to your liking, distracting
stay for a while from everything in the world, sit comfortably with a book, and you
you will understand that there are many books you cannot live without ... ( Explained.)
(D. Likhachev.) 2) When I have a new book in my hands ( time), I feel-
I believe that something living, speaking, wonderful has entered my life
(explicable.). (M.G.) 3) The excitement of the old lad is fully available
my soul, when I remember the smell of the first book and the very taste of
randasha ( time). (Tward.) 4) Each book of the writer, if it is
written in the blood of the heart ( conditions), Is the embodiment of the most covenant
his thoughts. (Ch.) 5) Whatever you do, whatever you do-
fox ( time), you will always need smart and faithful help-
56
nickname is a book. (March.) 6) To discover unknown countries ( goals),
not only a navigation textbook was needed, but also a Robinson Crusoe.
(Ilyin.) 7) In order to write a popular book ( goals), on the-
it is extremely good to know what you are writing about. (P.K.) 8) Book
teaches, even when you don't expect it and maybe you don't want to ( us-
stupid). The power of the book is immense. (S.-Sok.)
129. (orally).
DIFFICULT SUBMITTED OFFERS
WITH SEVERAL SUPPLEMENTARY
9. The main types of complex sentences
with two or more clauses and punctuation in them
130. 1) [Meresiev saw], (how Gvozdev shuddered), (how sharply he
turned), (as eyes flashed from under the bandages). (Paul) 2) [We would-
whether on summer vacation], (when the mother, who stayed all summer in the city
de, sent a message) (so that we all come). (Cor.) 3) (When
the door was locked), [Arina Petrovna got down to business],
(about which a family council was convened). (S.-Sch.)
131. I. 1) [Sintsov could not find out from anyone for a long time], (when
that train will go to Minsk, with which he was to send
go). ( Storytelling.,non-exclamation.,complicated,complex with two-
me by subordinate clauses; 1 -e,explicator-
new,refers to the predicate of the main« I can not know» and
attached to the main one using the union word« when»; 2 -e,
determinative,refers to 1-mu clause,to being-
tough« a train», and attached with a union word« With
which»; main–two-piece.,distribution.,complete, 1 -e clause–
two-piece.,distribution.,complete, 2 -e–one-piece.impersonal,distribution.,floor-
new.) (Sim.) 2) (When the figure of Seryozha appeared against the background of one
from the windows), [it seemed to him], (that someone hiding in the corner, in
darkness, now he will see and grab him). (Fad.) 3) [Kucher Trofim,
| leaning towards the front window | told my father], (that the road
became heavy), (that we cannot reach Parashin before dark), (that
we will be late). ( Storytelling.,non-exclamation.,complicated,complex subordinate
Alexey and Irina Nikolaevs live in the village of Ust-Ordynsky, Irkutsk region. The Nikolaevs are raising their five-year-old son Alexander and consider themselves an ordinary family. Moreover, quite recently they won the All-Russian competition "Family of the Year". The invitation to Moscow confuses the spouses, they say that they still do not believe it, because special people should win large-scale competitions. But the Nikolaevs are not so "ordinary" as they themselves say. Some time after starting a conversation with them, you gradually begin to feel what a rich national flavor, hard work and desire to help your small homeland lie behind their outward simplicity and "ordinariness."
Irina and Aleksey shared their experience of participation in the competition with the readers of AiF in VS, told what worries modern young families and why a person should keep family traditions, regardless of what culture he belongs to.
I would like to call the young family cultural and sports: Alexey is an international master of sports in archery, Irina is one of the leading soloists of the famous and beloved ensemble "Steppe Tunes" in the Angara region. Both have long-standing childhood hobbies that have grown into a profession.
Video in color
Yulia Vyatkina, "AiF in VS": Reveal the secret: what are they doing to participate in such competitions? Maybe you will have followers.
Irina: It was necessary to collect a portfolio - something like the history of our family in photographs, diplomas, letters of thanks, stories. For the All-Russian stage, they additionally demanded to make a video - in strictly two minutes to show the whole essence of our family life. Probably, it was the most difficult, each frame got only a couple of seconds. But we have coped with this. And even managed to combine in the video modern everyday life and work with our national "baggage" and traditions.
Irina nikolaeva. Photo: From personal archive
Aleksey: When the local administration of the Ministry of Social Development offered us to participate in the regional stage of the competition, we did not resist. There was no thought of winning, but building a portfolio seemed like a good idea to us. Let us not be the winners, but we will tidy up our family materials, which were scattered in different corners. And so they put everything on the shelves, and it seems that there is less chaos in life.
- What do you think in your portfolio that could attract the attention of both the regional and federal jury?
Alexey: I will assume that this is a family tree. By the way, it was one of the components of the competition project. According to Ira's father, we managed to get to the eighteenth tribe, according to my dad - to the fifteenth. We got a very branched tree, because we also painted relatives from our mothers and grandmothers. All this was drawn and colored. When the son grows up, he will have something to do at his leisure, let him study his pedigree.
Alexey Nikolaev. Photo: From personal archive
Raising not children, but a career
Participants under 35 years old could apply for the "Young Family" nomination. It would seem that recently this age was not considered "young" in relation to family life. In your opinion, did the revaluation benefit the youth?
Alexey: Much has changed in our time. We have already grown up in the generation that prefers to first get an education and find a job, and only then put a stamp in the passport and have children. I am for the "golden mean". I think 25-28 is the best age to start a family, not too early and not too late.
Experts are slowly beginning to sound the alarm: the moment is not far off when we can again slide into the demographic "hole", young people do not want to give birth to many children, for the majority there are two children. Are you going to grow your family? And what, in your opinion, inhibits the birth rate?
Irina: My husband and I agree: two or three children should be the minimum for any married couple. It seems to me that the "brake" is the banal uncertainty in the future: "Here I give birth to children, and then how to put them on their feet - it is not known."
Aleksey: I would like five, but various external factors, for example, work, are unlikely to allow. But one child is not good at all: its own kind will weaken, and the family will not develop in full force, and the human population itself will go into a "minus". Most young people now want to raise not children, but their careers, work non-stop until the moment when they can achieve iron stability and not be afraid that tomorrow they will be fired. Then you can already think about children, but who knows how long it will take to achieve what you want. In pursuit of professional growth, you easily forget that work will never become a more reliable support than family.
You have experienced for yourself the situation of our Russian young families. What scares people like you the most and what kind of support do they need?
Irina: The first problem we faced when we got married was the lack of money. Especially in the first year it was hard and I had to deny myself the "delights" of life. But this is all surmountable. And most often we hear from friends that it is difficult to find a permanent income.
Nikolaevs with their son. Photo: From personal archive
"We do not refuse traditions"
You say that you often visit Irkutsk. Do you plan to move? Now, after all, many young people are striving from villages to cities?
We already live close to Irkutsk. Sometimes we reach the center faster than residents of Novo-Lenino. Everything suits us in the village, we do not lack shops or anything else. Quiet, calm, there are no problems with kindergarten and school. And life there is not as expensive as in the city. In Ust-Orda we are gradually building our own house. Work, however, is not enough for young people. We are not complaining, but our peers often move to the city because of this.
- They say about you that you take part in the life of the village with pleasure?
Alexey: I go in for sports and since 2010 have been holding a children's archery tournament in Ust-Orda. There are few places where guys can get the title of candidate for master of sports in this specialization, so I decided that the competition would not be superfluous. The whole Irkutsk region, Buryatia, Zabaikalsky, Krasnoyarsk territories come to them. This year we are waiting for participants from Moscow, Kazakhstan. Ira helps me to open the tournament, organizes mini-concerts for athletes.
Both of you have very active work: Irina is often on tour, you are in competitions. Is it possible to “balance” this with home and family?
Alexey: Each of us loves both his job and his family. These two areas of our life are on the same wavelength, and there is no gap between them. Sometimes it turns out that we are both on the road. Then Sasha remains in the care of grandmothers, aunts, nephews - everyone goes to the "battle". We are happy that we have very strong family ties, we try to constantly see our relatives, and on holidays many people always gather in our homes.
- Does the strength of family ties depend on national traditions?
Irina: We are ordinary modern young people. Like all our peers, we keep up with the times, but at the same time we are not going to give up observing and honoring the traditions of our people and family in order to know who we are. Now it is easy to meet a person who cannot answer who his grandfather is. It's crazy to hear.
- Do you want to send your son in your footsteps?
Alexey: My parents wanted me to become a doctor - it didn't work out. Apparently, that's why I now dream of such a future for Sasha. But everything will depend on him. In the meantime, he dances better than anyone in kindergarten, and does not shy away from physical education, and he builds a house with me, and does not refuse to help in the garden.
Dossier:
Alexey Nikolaev was born in 1987 in the settlement of Ust-Orda. Since 1999 he has been engaged in archery. A year and a half later he won the Russian championship, in 2005 - the world championship. European Championship medalist.
Irina Nikolaeva was born in the Bayandaevsky district. Graduated from the Republican School of Culture and Arts in Ulan-Ude. Since 2009 he has been working in the Steppe Chants ensemble.