Environmental scene "Water is the main miracle on Earth. Eco-humor
This scene about the ecology is written by me specifically for one of the colleges of the Lipetsk region, so it refers to the geographical names of a particular city.
But you will easily withdraw the scene under your locality, because, unfortunately, the problems of ecology have all the same - exhaust gases, plastic garbage in places of recreation, reservoirs, which are scary.
And the metallurgical plants were monitored in almost every area of \u200b\u200bthe Soviet Union, and drunk angle too, alas, everyone has. This is the place of collecting not the most cultural youth with the ensuing consequences, only everyone's name is.
We now turn to the scene, only I will add a few words from myself as an inquincant inhabitant of the Earth.
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Let's not blame in all the former and current leadership of the country, areas and cities - what is the sensible? Instead, it is better to make that in our power to improve the state of local nature and ecology as a whole, and - attention! - Let's not do what is harmful.
What do I personally do?
I have more active principle "not harm."
Shed trees and shrubs I have no particular opportunity - only indoor flowers are planted. But I never even give a leaf from what I am not planted - I'll see if I wonder and go further.
I never leave trash for myself - if there is no urn, put in the bag and tare home. The wrapper from ice cream is not in the bag, but in an elongated hand - I go like a ballerina, cheering passersby. And not a pope - me nobody made me eat on the street ice cream, could you suffer to home, right?
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I get rid of old synthetics and now buy natural materials and viscose - better for the body, and for nature. Would come up with more thin tights to naturally do! Although grandmother told that after the war they brought very expensive silk stockings. It turns out everything is possible.
I am very laundry, I arrange only on a decreasing moon - and set at the same time 2 times less powder. The powder began to use only children, and all the household chemicals brought to Soda and vinegar - and won the dispute that the vinegar was better to wash the calcium damker than chemical cleaners.
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There are still many small moments that help me to pollute nature and wastewater, but even if we use at least something from this, life will improve. Of course, it is bad that the plants and cars pollute the air and water, but after all the bottles, glasses and wrappers under their feet and in places of rest we did not raise the plants, and we ourselves left, right?
Let's respect yourself and leave only a good track. And then very soon we can say - this is my contribution to the purity of the earth.
Sounds good, right?
You can, of course, from all this to dismiss and live thoughtlessly, but then the ecological will not be pleasant. And we want to be!
Scene about ecology
"Weather forecast with environmental bias"
Since the forecast is preceded by the news from two leaders, I propose to finish them like this:
One of the leaders shifts sheets of paper - something is looking for. Frames loudly:
So, it is not that, and this, in general, do not (one sheet comes, casually throws on the floor) . Yeah, here I found (is reading):
News ecology
(If you have an entire news block - ecological, then just reads a heading without ad):
Now our city is referred to the efforts of urban services and few enthusiasts. But soon the situation will change radically. Familiar environmentalists told us a secret about their newest developments.
The second lead picks up:
The essence of them are as follows: any piece of paper, candy, wrapper from ice cream, an empty pack of crackers and chips, a plastic glass, plastic or glass bottle - in a word, any garbage, left in nature, abandoned in a river, fountain or just past the urn , It will be immediately boomerang to return to the pocket or the bag of that person who threw it. So it is useful to train accuracy now.
The first leading frightened and quickly raises a crumpled leaf from the floor. Powered yourself in his pocket and enters the news dialogue:
Yes Yes Yes! Right!
The second leading is surprised at a colleague and continues:
For the final inspection, the new technologies will be sent to the zone of particularly severe defeat.
Are you talking about Chernobyl?
In this case, about people. They have long destroyed nature stronger atomic reactors. And to check the new installation, environmentalists will come to a drunken corner - the infamous place of our city. And the check will be held in beta test mode. So there will be "fun", regulars, hold on!
On this optimistic note, we go to an equally optimistic weather forecast.
Weather forecasters promise the weather wonderful!
Yes, they are 70 percent of cases are mistaken!
But still their forecasts are better than the forecasts of environmentalists. True, this time they united and gave us a single long-term meteoprognosis with environmental amendments.
Interestingly interesting, let's listen.
So, the weather is generally good, night temperatures within normal. Sids are expected small, and then in the form of a light mist. It will not be almost no rain - they all have already fell out in September, passing the city dumps, and turning the streams with plastic bottles into the turbulent rivers.
Only fog? And even though it will be?
And what about!
And in the new year ????
And in the New Year there will be a global warming and greenhouse effect. Have you heard about this? So you need to choose outfits for the new year, not on astrologers, but on the recommendations of weather forecasters.
Hurricanes and squalry winds will also be afraid, except the occasionally light gusts enter the aromas of exhaust gases. But if the wind is not completely, in these aromas we will have to live constantly.
Frequent collision of atmospheric fronts is expected to be Usman's river - nature is trying at least in such a way to correct what a person has done. However, while with a large score, nature loses, and weather forecasters are sadly summed up: swimming in Usmanka is dangerous for your health. Almost the same as smoking.
Wow! And this is called the optimistic weather forecast ???
Well, you know - what people, the weather. But the reason for optimism is still there. Earlier to us for 75 kilometers, smoke and metal suspension from the Novolipetsky Metallurgical Combine, which, besides, polluted the water in the Voronezh River. Now there is a modern domain furnace, and discharged into the wastewater river.
If earlier in the air heavily smelled tobacco, then after the bankruptcy of the tobacco-terrain factory, we smell solely by buns!
From bakery?
From him. So there is still a little bit, and we can be announced not to the Chernobyl zone, but a zone of green tourism. We just need everyone to learn to look around and thinking - what do we leave behind? In all senses. And then everything will be fine! And nature with the weather - too.
Scene about ecology is over, and life continues. And what it will be - largely depends on us. So this or not - I do not know, but I believe it and advise you)))
I have a lot of other scenes on the site - look for the appropriate headings -, and have already several weather forecasts for different cases. Recently appeared. Later there will be more.
With the wishes of successful performance and clean nature,
Your Evelina Sixternhenko.
In the fall composed for schoolchildren questions for KVN on ecology. With answers, of course))
The names of this stage are all different. Someone is a warm-up, someone has a blitz contest ...
I'll be just
Questions and answers to KVN by ecology
1 question:
Old wisdom says that you can not enter twice in one river. In the modern river, it is impossible to enter even once. Why?
Answer:
Because from the modern river, you can go with the oil color of the skin, the nickel hair color, the gasoline color of the eyes and the updated vocabulary stock - in general, one person entered, and came out completely different. So sometimes it is better not to enter at all.
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2. Question:
Why is Norway, which, like us, oil reserves, actively encourages the purchase of electric vehicles, and we are not?
Answer:
Because under the electric vehicles will have to build good roads, and then of two famous troubles - fools and bad roads - only one misfortune will remain in Russia. And she will be too rushing in the eye.
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*** By the way!
Increasingly, the main pollutants are not plants, but the usual "cute" cars. Please speak about this to children - let bicycles appreciate, and strive if to machines, then immediately - to electric.
For example, St. Petersburg Some people consider the city of palaces and museums, others - the city of plants and smoking pipes.
So this city
"... In 2013, it was recognized as one of the most polluted cities of Russia ... Only Norilsk and Moscow are ahead of Pollution of the atmosphere. The main source of pollution is cars, their share accounts for 85.9% of emissions. "
It was a quote from Wikipedia,
article "Ecology of St. Petersburg".
Make conclusions and do something else - for yourself, for the place where you live, and for the entire planet as a whole.
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3. Question:
Contrary to the tempting call "Take everything from life!", We believe that it's not worth it from life. Why?
Answer:
Because there is a lot of dirty, greasy and environmentally harmful in life.
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4. Question:
Why are there more and more fruits and vegetables of a strange view?
Answer:
They will answer in the words of Mikhail Zhvanetsky - than they fell, it grown.
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5. Question:
Animals that are not enough to enter the Red Book. The question is where animals are brought, which are many?
Answer:
In a book about tasty and healthy food, as well as on other collections of culinary recipes.
(By quotation of Faina Ranevskaya - E.Sh.)
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6. Question:
Before the appearance of digital technologies, such a joke went: if the camera falls into the river, then in an hour it will catch with an already shown film. Question: What will happen if a modern camera falls into the river?
Answer:
What is the film? Joke. Correct answer - …. (I did not come up with it, but you may come up with children - E.Sh.)
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- I still have - I advise you to see, it can be used in ecological KVN as a homework, for example.
- Take and run away - a bad idea, harm you, and the harmony of the planet.
- Therefore, stay for 5 minutes and write in the comments, please your feedback and your answers on this topic.
New Russian is going to relax in Cyprus.
At first, his secretary arrived there and walks with the owner of a 5-star hotel on the beach.
And what is it?
Like what? Pebbles.
Pebble is incorrectly, the chef does not like. Galka remove, sprinkle everything with a white sand.
But it is very expensive!
The next day, everything is sprinkled with sand.
And what is it?
This is the sea!
Which sea? Dirty puddle! In general, the sea cleaned, the pebbles to remove, the wave should roll every 30 seconds by 55 centimeters.
But you understand, these are underwater engineering works, very expensive!
We pay! (pulled out cash pack, calculated)
Two days later, everything is as necessary.
And what is it?
This is the same seagulls.
No gulls. Remove everyone! Leave two, let them walk along the beach and in no way take off.
But this is such a damage of ecology, and even training of chaps.
We pay! (pulled out cash pack, calculated)
Finally came the chef. He went to the sea in a clean white sand, looked at two chins, who were grayly walking around the edge of the beach, sat down in a chaise longue, breathed full of fresh sea air and said:
Lord! Well, do you buy such a beauty for money?!
Far-distant future. Cities of steel and concrete, cleanliness, trees, lawns. Utopia. Gravitational cars fly silently, children play and having fun. And only Greenpisovs ride on old roaring and smoking tractors with slogans: "We keep this world as the ancestors left it."
In Africa found a boy who raised a herd of wild pigs. According to the evidence of environmentalists, he is almost no different from them. Even to taste.
Almost the entire table of Mendeleev found environmentalists in the Moscow River below school number 63. The table was renovated, dried and returned to school.
Siberian environmentalists scored alarm. To death
Finally, Ukrainian ecologists scored alarm, looking like rare birds with hundreds drown in the middle of the Dnieper
A unprecedented hurricane hit the state of Colorado. Destroyed at home, destroyed crops. According to local ecologists, no beetle suffered.
According to ecologists in the near future, water in the Moscow river will cost $ 100 per barrel.
Great success achieved the sanitary service Kharkov. If half a year ago there was a terrifying antisanitarian in the city, now the antisanitarian is just pleased with the eye!
Armenian radio is asked:
What eat canoe-vegetarians?
We do not know exactly, but we think that Greenpisovs ...
Kit floats around the female and says with reproach:
How many countries, hundreds of environmental organizations, outstanding political leaders, millions of people are all fighting for our kind to survive, and you tell me - the head hurts ...
Against employees of the forest, with the help of the saw "Friendship" of a tagged hundred hectares of the Tayzhny Forest, made a detachment Greenpeace. As a result of a short conflict, "friendship" won.
The old pike asks the other:
What bulls do you like - in oil or in tomato?
In oil.
Then I swim to the Avtobas !!!
Three crocodiles talk:
Remember, before the nuclear explosion, we seem to be green? ..
Yes, and it seems to be able to swim ...
Straight Bazaar, flew by nectar.
The patient comes to the doctor.
Doctor, you know, everyone says to me that I am a down, although I didn't seem to be.
Yes, do not worry, now the ecology is broken, a bad environment.
Well, doctor, I will come on Tuesday.
The man complains of his neighbor:
This environmental pollution is just some horror! Yesterday, you imagine, opening a canning jar with Sardines - and it is full of oil in it, and all the fish is Darkha!
New Russian is going to relax in Cyprus.
At first, his secretary arrived there and walks with the owner of a 5-star hotel on the beach.
And what is it?
Like what? Pebbles.
Pebble is incorrectly, the chef does not like. Galka remove, sprinkle everything with a white sand.
But it is very expensive!
The next day, everything is sprinkled with sand.
And what is it?
This is the sea!
Which sea? Dirty puddle! In general, the sea cleaned, the pebbles to remove, the wave should roll every 30 seconds by 55 centimeters.
But you understand, these are underwater engineering works, very expensive!
We pay! (pulled out cash pack, calculated)
Two days later, everything is as necessary.
And what is it?
This is the same seagulls.
No gulls. Remove everyone! Leave two, let them walk along the beach and in no way take off.
But this is such a damage of ecology, and even training of chaps.
We pay! (pulled out cash pack, calculated)
Finally came the chef. He went to the sea in a clean white sand, looked at two chins, who were grayly walking around the edge of the beach, sat down in a chaise longue, breathed full of fresh sea air and said:
Lord! Well, do you buy such a beauty for money?!
Far-distant future. Cities of steel and concrete, cleanliness, trees, lawns. Utopia. Gravitational cars fly silently, children play and having fun. And only Greenpisovs ride on old roaring and smoking tractors with slogans: "We keep this world as the ancestors left it."
In Africa found a boy who raised a herd of wild pigs. According to the evidence of environmentalists, he is almost no different from them. Even to taste.
Almost the entire table of Mendeleev found environmentalists in the Moscow River below school number 63. The table was renovated, dried and returned to school.
Siberian environmentalists scored alarm. To death
Finally, Ukrainian ecologists scored alarm, looking like rare birds with hundreds drown in the middle of the Dnieper
A unprecedented hurricane hit the state of Colorado. Destroyed at home, destroyed crops. According to local ecologists, no beetle suffered.
According to ecologists in the near future, water in the Moscow river will cost $ 100 per barrel.
Great success achieved the sanitary service Kharkov. If half a year ago there was a terrifying antisanitarian in the city, now the antisanitarian is just pleased with the eye!
Armenian radio is asked:
What eat canoe-vegetarians?
We do not know exactly, but we think that Greenpisovs ...
Kit floats around the female and says with reproach:
How many countries, hundreds of environmental organizations, outstanding political leaders, millions of people are all fighting for our kind to survive, and you tell me - the head hurts ...
Against employees of the forest, with the help of the saw "Friendship" of a tagged hundred hectares of the Tayzhny Forest, made a detachment Greenpeace. As a result of a short conflict, "friendship" won.
The old pike asks the other:
What bulls do you like - in oil or in tomato?
In oil.
Then I swim to the Avtobas !!!
Three crocodiles talk:
Remember, before the nuclear explosion, we seem to be green? ..
Yes, and it seems to be able to swim ...
Straight Bazaar, flew by nectar.
The patient comes to the doctor.
Doctor, you know, everyone says to me that I am a down, although I didn't seem to be.
Yes, do not worry, now the ecology is broken, a bad environment.
Well, doctor, I will come on Tuesday.
The man complains of his neighbor:
This environmental pollution is just some horror! Yesterday, you imagine, opening a canning jar with Sardines - and it is full of oil in it, and all the fish is Darkha!
The topic of ecology occupies, in our opinion, is not a great place in KVN, but still more than in the official Russian media, especially, television. Environmental theme is presented in the Russian press more than poorly. As shown by monitoring publications on environmental issues in federal media, the state "Russian newspaper" writes not about the problems and "patients" themes of the country's ecology, but about certain international events with environmental issues. The same can be said about federal television channels. Only opposition media and the floor "yellow" "MK" and "KP" periodically try to stir public opinion and affect the situation in this area, objectively very disadvantaged.
But - for comparison - one of the first jokes of the KVNA reborn in the publicity: - Epigraph: "Oh, how rich Russian Nature with the number and quality of waste" (MHTI). Joke of the early 1990s: - In Novosibirsk there is a bad ecology ... But Novosibirsk is not guilty that he is surrounded by Russia on all sides!("June 31" (Novokuznetsk)). In the 1990s, in general, they are joking on the environmental issues of individual regions: chemical and metallurgical production, in particular, combine in Chelyabinsk, Cherepovets, production of embankments of chelny, etc. And how their activity affects the environment.
From the beginning of the 2000s, the local "Moscow" character: KVNschiki from all regions of Russia prefers to tell the Moscow public - the audience and the jury - that, as they believe, this public is close: about the status ecology of Moscow and Moscow region.
Especially got:
a) Khimki: In Khimki, it was so necessary that schoolchildren were not learning chemistry, it absorbs from childhood, with Mother's milk ... ("His people" (Khimki)); Song about Khimki: On the far station to go - mushrooms on the belt! (Rosnou (Moscow)); - Dolgoruky? - Yes, Peter Alekseevich. - Hello, Yuri Mikhailovich. City I want to build on the swamps and call it with my name: St. Petersburg! - Stop. Let's compromise. Name Beserbolotinsk, windowEvropyevsk, nearby, nearby, finally ... from evaporation swamp? - There is. - Khimki name! " ("Unlimited youth" (Moscow));
b) Moscow River: Three-eyed perch and Sazan with a nail, winged carp and hairy bream ... Moscow-river, take me with your own ... (TGNGU (Tyumen)); - Yesterday, about 7 thousand cubic meters of water burned in Moscow ("Stareko" (Novosibirsk)); - And what a river we have! Here is the grandson of my photo carried away - so right in this river the film and shows. Beauty!!! (Rosnou (Moscow)); Yesterday, fisherman with experience Vasily caught the Karasika river from Moscow. And the fact that it is Karasik, Vasily understood only after Karasik himself introduced himself("Stareko" (Novosibirsk));
c) Separate areas of Moscow and Moscow region: Garbage veter, smoke from the pipe, crying nature, laughter Satan - and all because we remove the Khrushchev threesome in the con ("Ordinary people" (Moscow)).
However, there are a lot of jokes and about such "patients" - especially polluted - places of the Russian Federation, such as, lake Baikal: - Successfully solves the problem of environmental pollution: Katun, the Obskoy Sea, Baikal - these are the stages of a hard way! (NSU), volga river: - Mosfilm "Volga-Volga" painted. - I also news. In our Samara, the cellulose-paper plant has been painting the Volga 20 years old, from the river I went away, and my legs ("Juice", Samara); Industrial production and its waste in Cherepovets.: Green party activists took for the gills director of the Cherepovets Chemical Combine ("Sports Station" (Moscow).
On ecological topics, like Russian, jokes and KVNschiki other countries, for example, Ukraine: - Summer is the time of vacation. Wishing to relax on the Black Sea Ministry of Health will offer a new model of bathing suits with built-in sewage treatment plants(DGU).
More global problems of humanity - electricity generation at nuclear power plants, storage and recycling of nuclear waste - also reflected in KVN games, although not enough, in our opinion: On the storage of nuclear waste, it is planned to earn 30 billion dollars, but other, more advanced creatures will be rejoiced. (BSU (Minsk)); From the meeting with Diver: - The most amazing fauna in the Kursk Sea. - Where? - In the Kursk Sea. Well, so the local population calls an artificial reservoir, the cooling third reactor of the nuclear power plant ("Prima" (Kursk)).
The World Threat of the Environmental Catastrophe remainsless to be ignored: Scientists managed to decipher the message of aliens by earthlings. Earthlings, you are threatened with a huge danger, do not pollute the earth: we still live on it! (" PE "(Minsk)).
Food - their quality, composition, the degree of naturalness And, according to this - ecology - KVNers also did not leave aside.
a) the quality of food. Linders here McDonalds.which, on the one hand, officially in Russia it is impossible to criticizeBecause it brings profit and lobbyed by global financial ratings, and on the other, it is an embodiment of unhealthy nutrition. Again, KVN turns out to be the only platform on federal television channels, where we can critically speak about the quality of the food offered in McDonalds: Advertising: fun and ulcers - in McDonalds! (CIS-2003 national team); - Sacrifice, pagan rites, Satan's challenge. Ordinary weeks in McDonalds (The national team of the Interuniversity League (Nizhny Novgorod)). Joking in KVN and about what consequences has food in this "restaurant" for the figure: McDonalds broke a thief career. ("Blender", Arkhangelsk).
Next comes another product of the fast food system - shaurma. While the doctors and SanEpidemireatiologists are alarming about doubtful quality and the origin of meat in Shawarme, as well as its carcinogenicity, journalists or frankly chop these facts, or give this culinary product for an integral element of the modern city dweller and the attribute of the modern catering system. KVN is one of the few sources where you can hear critical feedback on Shaurme: Attention! Song! Tra-Ta-Ta, the tra-ta, we carry a cat, Chiizik, a dog, a dog, a monkey, a parrot, the company what ... has become a culinary manual for sellers of Shawarma. ("Purga" (Khimki))
It can also be regularly also Belyasham and Cheburekam from Moscow railway stations: - For conducting experiences over living people, the Hague Tribunal demanded the closure of Cheburchny at the Kursk bus station ("Prima" (Kursk)).
On antisanitaries when preparing this specific "fast food", there are whole scenes, for example, from the team "Astana. Kz ", but by virtue of the madness of humor, with the words of the retelling: in the transfer of" culinary duel "the seller of Shawarma from the Kazan station to the question of the lead:" But what about you? " Chasing the cockroach running along the product, kills him and says: "Already nothing!".
Next, in the frequency follows the criticism of the KV cameers in the quality of food as a whole, in particular, they ridden composition of productsincluding harmful additives: - Hear, men! Help sort out the "Phanto"! This is: sodium sulphide, cyclopendrangidropenandren and sodium carbonade, yes? Who is here more fun, with whom it is? ("County City" (Chelyabinsk-Magnitogorsk)); I am a Plum Lilk, Ripe, Garden / ... / And I ... (hereinafter follows the long list of chemicals) -Mets - together we are natural juice!("Unlimited Youth" (Moscow)).
A lot of jokes O. chinese Noodle Quick Food and components included in its composition: - The third task is the original design of the dish. - I put a picture of the "Mona Lisa" a fruit on the cake. - We also have a picture. This "Ivan Grozny kills his son." - But this is the dochirak. - Keyword here - kills ("Ordinary people" (MEI, Moscow))
Another turn of the ecology of the daily existence of Russians - the quality of drinking water: - Hello, the transfer of "test purchase". Let me remind you, we do not cooperate with any manufacturer. Today we test water from the tap, taken in different parts of Moscow. We sent samples for examination, numbered, without calling the area, where we took it from. We listen to what experts will say. - All very high quality gasoline, and under numbers 5 and 7 a very high octane number, can be poured into the reactor. (National team GUU (Moscow))