Sketch for children to perform at home. Sketch of congratulations to the hero of the day by one person
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In the fall, children go to school, and the main task of adults is to get them ready to study after the summer holidays. No need to read standard speeches! Approach the meeting of children with imagination and humor, show that this year a lot of interesting things await them, and not just lessons. The best option for entertainment is children's sketches about school: funny situations from student life are close to children of all ages and are interesting to parents and teachers. The main thing is not to drag out the performance - children's attention is more likely to be attracted by a quick change of scenery and characters than by a long performance. Funny short skits for children will help you out in any situation: at the first of September assembly, at the Christmas tree, and at the cool “light”.
School skit “Eureka!”
Feel free to involve adults in the skits. If a child plays a miniature teacher, and the student Petya is a real teacher, it will be even more fun!
Scenario:
U: Well, Petya, answer. Who is Archimedes?
P, thoughtfully looking for the correct answer on the ceiling: Well, this... what's his name... ancient scientist. He's still "Eureka!" screamed in the bathroom.
U: So. And what is this “Eureka!”?
P looks at the audience, trying to get a hint from them. Answers hesitantly: I think it means "found".
Uh, nodding with satisfaction: So what did he find, Petya?
P, scratching the back of his head: In the bathroom? Probably soap!
School skit “Paris - the capital of Italy”
A boy and a girl are sitting at a desk:
D: Van, imagine if you met old man Hottabych, or a goldfish... What would you ask for?
M, dreamily: I want Paris to become the capital of Italy!
D, surprised: Oh, why?!
M: And that’s what I answered yesterday in geography. Imagine how surprised the teacher would be...
Correct answer
In a short skit for children, 2 characters take part: an arithmetic teacher and a student Petrov. The characters act out a short scene:
U: Petrov, answer: four divided by two - how much is it?
P: What should we divide, Ivan Ivanovich?
U: Well, share, for example, apples.
P: Apples? And between whom and whom?
U: Let's say between you and Vasechkin.
P: Three - for me, Vasechkin - one!
U: Why so?
P: Because, Ivan Ivanovich, Vasechkin owes me one apple.
U: Hmm...Doesn't he, by any chance, owe you carrots?
P: No, no carrots.
U: Amazing. Then share. How much will it be: four carrots divided by two?
P: Four! And let Vasechkin take everything.
U: How is this “four”? Why?
P: Yes, I don’t like carrots, Ivan Ivanovich.
U: Missed it again!
P: So how much is correct?
U: And I’ll put the correct answer in your diary now, Petrov!
Such a creative approach to school life will bring a festive mood, reveal the child’s talents and inspire him to new knowledge and victories. Come up with scenes and scenery together, engage your child in the preparation process, create a creative atmosphere, and the school year will be easy, interesting and exciting.
Funny scenes about school have always been, are and, of course, will be popular, as they reflect the brightest possible events of wonderful school years. Therefore, there are many funny skits that show the brightest school events.
Scene “wonderful medicine”
The action takes place in a chemistry lesson. The props require a desk, two chairs and a teacher's table with chemical supplies. Characters: Petya, Sasha and Marya Ivanovna. Two boys are dressed in school uniforms, the teacher first appears in a black robe with a staff, then appears in her usual form.
- Sasha, did you do your homework? - Petya asks his neighbor at his desk.
- No, I played computer games all day and almost until the morning! - Sasha answers.
- I was doing the same thing, I really want to sleep! – Petya answered, yawning loudly. By the way, bet I get an A today?
How is that? – Sasha is indignant. “You haven’t prepared anything at all, just like me!”
- It's simple! – Petya answered with a smile. – I read on the Internet that if you mix pop, yellow soda, green soda, a crow feather, a cat’s whisker, a tomato, green tea and a slice of chocolate, you get a wonderful potion, by drinking which you can manipulate people. I’ll drink it and tell Marya Ivanovna to give it an A, and she will! Do you want to try my medicine?
- Ha ha! Sasha laughed. - All this is nonsense!
- Well, if you don’t want to get an A, don’t drink! - Petya muttered.
- Okay, let's drink your dubious decoction, maybe something will work out! – Sasha agreed.
Petya drinks from the bottle with the “drug”, hands it to Sasha, who takes a sip.
- Ugh, what an abomination! – Sasha was indignant.
Drink-drink! A's don't come easy! – his desk neighbor grinned.
After drinking the decoction, the schoolchildren, who had not slept until the morning, lay down on their desks and closed their eyes for a second. Opening them, they saw Marya Ivanovna near the table in a long black cape with a staff.
- Marya Ivanovna! - Petya gasped. What is this strange outfit you have?
- Why is it strange? – Marya Ivanovna was surprised. – The most common outfit for the lord of darkness, very suitable for the ceremony of absorbing souls.
- What did you treat me with, you fool? – Alexander asked quietly and indignantly.
“This is probably a side effect...” Peter answered him in surprise and became thoughtful.
“Today I decided to absorb your souls.” “The teacher said, grinning. – It’s been a long time since I took souls from lazy people!
- I saw something like this in a computer game! – Petya said in a whisper. “When the dark lord touches us with the tip of his staff, he can take our souls!”
- I play this game too! – Sasha supported. – In order to neutralize the dark lord, you need to move your hands in a circular motion and say the magic word “arakunada.”
- So, let's do this while our souls are still with us! - Peter exclaimed.
The boys move their hands and shout the word “arakunada”.
“This won’t save you, dears, because my staff works at a distance!” – the teacher shouted and swung her staff.
The boys fall on their desks and close their eyes. Opening their eyes, they see Marya Ivanovna without her robe and staff.
- Sanya, the spell is working, her staff and robe fell off, let’s do it again! – Petya joyfully proclaimed.
The boys shout the word "arakunada" and continue to move their hands. The teacher looks at them in bewilderment.
- What does this mean? – she asks indignantly. – Is this what you’re telling me about sodium?
- Calm down, dark lord! - Sasha shouted. You won't get our souls!
- It’s not your souls that I need, but your homework! – Marya Ivanovna laughed. - What kind of concert is it, boys? I go in and they are sleeping. I woke up - they were shouting strange words and waving their hands. Are you OK?
“Yes, yes, Marya Ivanovna...” Sasha answered, stuttering.
- So it turns out we all dreamed? – asked his seatmate. Listen, maybe at least the potion worked after all, let's try to force her to give us a high five?
- Yah you! – Alexander said offendedly and smiled.
Sketch “strange first-grader”
The main characters: a group of high school students, a teacher and a first grader. The only props you will need are markers.
The teacher walks down the corridor and sees how high school students are laughing loudly at their little first-grader.
- What's the matter? – the teacher was indignant. - Why do you offend someone who is younger than you?
And we don’t offend! - answered one of the crowd. - Look how stupid he is! We offer him to take either three markers or one, and he takes only one, saying that it’s better this way! If you don't believe me, look at it for yourself!
A high school student takes three markers in one hand and only holds one in the other.
- What will you take for yourself? – he asks the boy, laughing. – One felt-tip pen or several.
“I’d rather take one from you.” – the boy answers quietly, takes the felt-tip pen and puts it in his backpack.
- You see! – the high school student convinces the teacher.
The teacher takes the little student aside.
- Boy, why don’t you take three markers at once? – the teacher quietly asks the question.
“If I take away three markers at once, they’ll think I’m smart and the game will end.” - The boy answers. So, I’d rather be stupid, but with twenty markers! - takes out twenty won felt-tip pens from his briefcase.
Scene “school romance”
Characters: teacher Nina Semyonovna and student Kolya. The props you need are a sheet of paper and a pen.
Kolya runs up to Nina Semyonovna.
- Nina Semyonovna! - Kolya shouts. – I want to make a romantic card with my own hands and give it to a girl, please help me write a beautiful declaration of love.
- Who are you going to give it to, Kolenka? – the teacher asks in a whisper. – Probably Tanya from the parallel class? I see that all the boys really like her.
- No, not her! - Kolenka answers.
- Why? – Nina Semyonovna is surprised. Really, you don't like her at all?
“I like it, very much...” Kolya sighs heavily. “But now all the boys are hitting her on the head with their briefcases and pulling her beautiful braids, so she will soon be bald and stupid.” Why do I need such a wife?
Scene “without being late”
Characters: student Masha and teacher Lidia Mikhailovna. Props - a beautiful gold or gilded chain.
The teacher is preparing to start the lesson; fashionista Masha enters the class.
- Mashenka, I want to praise you! – the teacher is delighted. – You are very, very rarely late lately!
- Where should I go, Lydia Mikhailovna? – Mashenka answers, sighing heavily. My mother bought herself a gold chain from the latest fashion collection, and now whoever wakes up first puts it on! – Masha adds and shows the chain.
Characters: student Vovochka and teacher Natalya Nikolaevna. No props required.
The teacher checks the student's homework.
- Vovochka, I want to compliment you! – says Natalya Nikolaevna. – You showed yourself very well in doing your homework, you have excellent creative thinking!
- Thank you, Natalya Nikolaevna! - Vovochka thanks. Can I give you a compliment too?
- Well, of course you can! – Natalya Nikolaevna answers.
—Your nails are so long and beautiful! – Vovochka says, examining the hand. – You must be very comfortable climbing trees!
Scene "at the meeting"
Characters: the student’s mother, student Kostya and teacher Elena Petrovna. No props needed.
The teacher and mother scold Kostya.
- Kostya, remember, you promised to study well, and I promised to make you the head of the cultural sector? - asks the teacher.
- I remember, Elena Petrovna! - Kostya answers sadly.
- Do you remember, you promised me to study well, and I promised to buy you a bicycle? - asks mom.
“I remember, mommy...” Kostya says quietly.
- So why don’t you study for “A’s”? - asks both the teacher and mother.
- Well, if you don’t keep your promises, I don’t think it’s necessary to keep mine! – exclaims Kostya.
(After a short ringing, the door opens. A middle-aged woman stands there, dressed modestly, in a long skirt. In her hands are brochures and books. She quietly repeats the memorized text under her breath)
Woman: Hello, tell me, do you believe in God? If you are having difficulties in life, you don’t know who to turn to...
(At the same time, her head slowly rises. The woman screams and faints. A demon with horns and a trident in his hands is standing on the threshold. Loud music is heard from the apartment, a guy in an angel costume runs out)
Angel: Listen, of course, I understand everything, it’s Halloween, but let’s not open the door anymore, otherwise the third fainting spell in the evening is too much...
Please fill us up, but at a higher price, at least every day!
(There is a knock on the door, a man is standing on the threshold, an alcoholic opens it for him)
Neighbor: Listen, you're flooding us!
Alcoholic: (hiccupping) How long ago?
Neighbor: Of course, a long time ago.
Alcoholic: Why didn’t you come earlier?
Neighbor: Because before, high-quality whiskey flowed from my ceiling, but now only cheap port! Do something about it.
An experienced massage therapist doesn’t care who comes for treatments
There is a knock on the door and a healthy middle-aged man opens it. On the threshold, a woman in a tight dress with bright makeup sticks out her leg.
Woman: Well, dear, I’m coming to you.
Man: Of course, I understand that there would be a lot of work for me here, but you are unlikely to come to me.
Woman: What, am I really not suitable?
Man: No, what are you talking about, your brisket is really okay, legs and thighs too, although the sirloin part let us down, but that’s okay. The masseur doesn't care. His door is next door, you are mistaken.
Woman: Who are you then?
Man: I'm a butcher, madam.
If Stalin had the Internet in ancient times
(A guy with a laptop bursts into Stalin’s office and busily places it on the table)
Stalin: What is this?
Guy: Internet
Stalin: And what do I need it for?
Guy: What's that like? Everything is written about everyone here.
Stalin: Come on, tell me, when will the war end?
Guy: (entering a request) May 9 next year.
Stalin: Hmm, good date, spring, I should write it down. What about our nuclear development?
Guy: Wikipedia says that the development of the first atomic bomb will end only in 1949.
Stalin: Okay, we won't have to wait long. Well, is there anything about me there?
Guy: Of course there is, Comrade Stalin! It is written: Joseph Vissarionovich was a state leader until his death in 1953...
Stalin: Whaaaat? What kind of death? Shoot!
Guy: But why me? That's what it says on the Internet.
Stalin: Who's in charge?
Guy: But there is no main thing, everything is on its own.
Stalin: Security, exile him to the Urals, no computers or Internet!
(The guy is taken away)
Stalin: Look, what young people have gone. In itself they have everything. Now I’ll write to Lavrenty Pavlovich, let him shoot the hackers, stop the production of computers, and let him direct all his efforts to atomic development.
Stalin always keeps his word and is ready for decisive action
(Stalin sits at the table with his entourage, 6 people in total. He takes out a chess piece from his bosom)
Stalin: You all know that the situation in our country is not easy. Therefore, I decided to choose a successor from among you, in case of emergency. The one who takes this figurine will become him.
(Throws the chess set on the table, those close to her rush to her, except for one. After grunting and confusion, the winner stands up with the piece held high.)
Stalin: Ay, well done! Send everyone to exile in Siberia, and you will be their boss. Stalin always keeps his word. And you (points to the one who remained sitting) will be shot. For lack of initiative! Security, take everyone away!
The best funny scenes for a fun company
Read the classics and become a fatal seductress
(A modestly dressed woman, clearly educated and intelligent, addresses a consultant in a bookstore)
Woman: Please tell me, do you have anything...well...how can I say this...well, something on such topics, you know...very intimate and frank...advice in general?
Seller: Of course there is, here you go “The Best Sex Lessons: How to Become a Seductress.”
Woman: I just have a daughter, she’s dating a boy. And they seem to be reading the classics, but don’t get me wrong, because I’m a mother, I’m worried.
Saleswoman: You would have said so right away, here you go!
(He takes out the volume “War and Peace.” The woman begins to leaf through the book, and among the pages we see packages of condoms. The woman looks at the saleswoman with wide open eyes, and she winks at her and nods)
What do young and old people buy in a bookstore?
(Scene in a bookstore. Cookery section)
Seller: Hello, how can I help you?
Buyer: Good afternoon. I'm looking for a book, it's called "About Tasty and Healthy Food."
Seller: You know, it is sold in two volumes. Which one do you need?
Buyer: Is there a fundamental difference?
Seller: Well, of course. The first volume is more often read by young people, it is called “About Tasty Food”, but the second volume is of interest to older people, it is called “On Healthy Food”.
Who will go to work and do things?
(Scene in a cell phone store. The salesman is showing the latest phone models to the customer)
Seller: Look, this model is very comfortable. This phone broadcasts everything you see directly to the Internet.
Buyer: What, and even from the bathroom?
Seller: Well, of course! Very cool, isn't it? But this model is suitable for those who really like to give likes. It has a keyboard that you can always carry with you, and a projector to see everything on any surface.
Buyer: Well, yes, and its price is appropriate, like a car...
Seller: Well, if this price doesn’t suit you, I can offer you a stunning model! There is everything, even a folding knife, a bill acceptor, a folding tent and a survival kit.
Buyer: How can I make calls from it?
Seller: Why would you call from him? This function was removed as unnecessary.
Buyer: No, this doesn’t suit me at all, goodbye.
Seller: No, wait! The best option for you from the popular pear company! This phone can do everything, it will even go to work for you!
Dad can do anything and more
(A young guy comes to the pharmacy where his father works)
Guy: Dad, hi, today the guys and I are going to the cottage.
Dad: Ha-ha, yes, yes, son, I understand, do you need anything with you?
Guy: Well, yes, you remember what happened last time... Come on, so that now there is enough for everyone, otherwise the girls will start squealing that they have been ruined all the fun, and the guys won’t like this situation either.
Dad: Olesya! Bring the largest pack of condoms from the warehouse. (The queue is warily watching what is happening.) And also bring a couple of bottles of iodine and brilliant green.
Guy: Do you think this is enough?
Dad: This time there will definitely be enough balloons for everyone, go blow them up and color them!
What kind of old ladies are there in queues these days?
(A scene in a pharmacy. There is a huge line, a wizened old woman comes up from behind, looks at all the people, tries to squeeze through, but they don’t let her in. Then she calmly takes out a mask-hat, puts it on, then a gun appears from her purse)
Old lady: Everyone on the floor, don’t move! This is a robbery!
(The line falls to the floor with a squeal, the old woman takes off her mask and confidently approaches the cash register)
Old lady: I’d like a couple of bottles of Corvalol, please, and two packs of Validol. Look what kind of people they are, you can’t survive without a gun!
We entertain guests with original skits
Try these funny and short children's skits for 2 people.
Burglars can also make mistakes and mix up apartments
(The room is dark, two robbers suddenly appear, lighting their way with flashlights, talking in a whisper)
First: It seems that everything is correct. The apartment is good, there is something to live on.
Second: Well, yes, gold, dishes, that chandelier... just like at my house. The owner is clearly wealthy.
First: Look, the plasma is huge! I've always wanted one like this!
Second: Give up this plasma, they cost a penny now, but they work every other time, I have the same one at home.
(He comes up, presses the buttons, nothing happens)
He's not working either. Let's look for the safe.
First: Already found it. The castle is complicated, I've never seen anything like it, we'll be fiddling around for a long time.
Second: Long... long... Give it here. (Confidently types the code, the safe opens)
First: Look how clever you are with him, have you met anyone like him before?
Second: (Sighs) Turn on the light, come on.
First: Why?
Second: This is my safe. Turn it on, I say.
The first robber turns on the light and spreads his hands.
How can you quickly get to your doctor?
(A wife and her husband make their way to the dentist’s office. The husband has a swollen cheek bandaged. He mumbles and whines listlessly)
Husband: Well, look at the queue here, we definitely won’t get in today, let’s better go tomorrow.
Wife: Just wait, stop whining, now I’ll do everything.
Husband: Well, maybe it’s not necessary, I can be patient. It hurts less now, really, look.
Wife: I said that today means today. Wait.
(She pushes everyone away and breaks into the office, her voice can be heard from there)
Wife: What are you doing? Who taught you anyway? The instruments are completely dull, they are not disinfected, the assistant generally sleeps!
(Heart-rending female screams can be heard, the line to the office is slowly thinning, the husband sits white-faced, the wife leaves the office and addresses her husband in a hoarse voice)
Wife: Well, you see, I said that you will see a doctor today. Come on, come in. I’ll rush to the otolaryngologist, otherwise I’ve lost my voice.
When can hypnosis be useful in family life?
Option one:
(A woman enters a psychologist's office)
Woman: Hello. Last week my husband and I had a hypnosis session with you, remember? You also convinced him that he is a dog. So, this is still going on, can you help us?
Psychologist: I understand, bring him here, let’s return him to the image of a person.
Woman: No, you know, overall I’m happy with everything. The house is quiet, he is affectionate, plays with me, kisses me all the time, doesn’t drink, doesn’t watch football, doesn’t even plan to go fishing.
Woman: Make him stop dragging fleas from the street!
Option two:
(A man enters a psychologist's office)
Man: Hello. Last week my wife and I attended a hypnosis session with you. You convinced her that she is a cat, and this continues to this day. Can you help us please?
Psychologist: I understand, bring your wife here, let's return her to a human image.
Man: No, you know, in general, everything suits me. No screaming, no hysterics, I can easily drink beer with friends, she even let me go fishing.
Psychologist: And what is the problem then?
Man: Make her stop licking herself! And these hairballs are just disgusting!
Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish the patient from the psychiatrist
(The patient comes to see a psychiatrist)
Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality
Doctor: And who are they?
Patient: One is me, and the second is you.
Doctor: So, do both exist?
Patient: Well, of course!
Doctor: Well, you're probably sick. And what does the second personality tell you?
Patient: That I'm sick and that you don't exist.
Doctor: How can I not exist if this is me?
Patient: But according to your logic, one of us shouldn’t exist.
Doctor: Can you see me?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: And I see you. Yes, something is not well with me...
Patient: Then give me a certificate that I am healthy.
Doctor: Yes, of course. And come see me tomorrow. Both.
The perfect girl will become your best friend
(Scene in a therapist's office, a patient enters with a deflated rubber doll under his arm)
Patient: Hello, doctor, my girlfriend and I are having problems.
Doctor: Where is your girlfriend?
Patient: Well, there she is. Everything was wonderful before, but now she is somehow sad, drooping, and out of shape. I don't know what to do. First I was referred to a psychiatrist. But for some reason they tried to treat me, not her. But everything is fine with me. Help us please.
Doctor: But do you understand that your girlfriend is rubber? And I treat people, living people, you know?
Patient: Why is it worse?! Beautiful, well-groomed, modest and quiet. She agrees with everything, never gets on my nerves, puts on what I want, puts on makeup the way I like. She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and has no friends. Doesn't change. Lets me drink beer and watch football.
(The doctor takes the doll, inflates it, returns it to the nervous patient)
Doll: Thank you. Honey, let's go to bed!
Patient: Thank you very much, I knew that you would help us!
Doctor: Eh, people are lucky. But I was a fool, I got married, and I remain a fool.
Funny short skits - fun ideas
4.9 (98.18%) 11 votesFunny scenes about school become the decoration of almost every children's holiday. KVN held within our own walls, a New Year's party, the birth of a school - you never know the wonderful reasons to have fun!
We are pleased to offer you a selection of several scenes that will help create a festive mood.
Short dialogues
The little ones about school offered here do not require decorations or memorization of long texts at all.
One student sleepily says to another:
I must be allergic!
Why do you say that?
Yes, I cover myself with a blanket and sleep all the time!
Two students after a geography lesson:
I still don't believe the Earth rotates!
Why so?
Yes, if it had been spinning, the sea would have splashed out long ago!
The poor student angrily tells his friend:
You imagine? The teacher demanded that I name the simplest thing that reproduces by division! I'm not good at math at all!
In the computer class
The following funny scenes about school also do not require special decorations. Only the latter will require an imitation of a computer lab.
A stupid high school girl, showing off, looks at the tablet as if at a mirror:
My light, mirror, tell me! Tell me the whole truth! Am I the cutest in the world? Everyone is slimmer and more fashionable?
Mirror (drawn out, but angrily):
I'll give you my answer! You frazzled me out! I am a tablet!
A student asks the teacher:
Ivan Ivanovich, did you have a tablet as a child?
No, what are you talking about, there were no computers then!
What did you play on?
On the street!
The cleaning lady comes into the computer class and sternly asks:
Who here knows how to use computers?
All students, without exception, answer: “I.”
Cleaning lady (threateningly):
Then immediately go online and look for a site that teaches you how to use the toilet!
Sketch for a school anniversary: funny and not very long
This scene requires only characteristic features from the actors. The “nerd” should wear glasses and speak sternly, while the girl and her friend should look silly, cutesy and enthusiastic.
A guy who looks like a typical “nerd” tells his friend:
Can you imagine, Tomka called me home to see what was wrong with her computer! I come, and she, apparently, cannot sit in one place at all! The chair is spinning, so the cord is wrapped around the chair leg. I cursed, untangled the cord, inserted the plug that had popped out, turned on her computer and left.
Tomochka, rolling her eyes, enthusiastically tells her classmate:
Oh, this Lyutikov can also do magic!
What are you doing?!
Well, yes, he came to me, looked intently at the computer, raised his hands up, whispered something mystical, turned my chair 10 times counterclockwise, kicked the computer, whispered something mystical again and left. Imagine, everything worked!
Classmate, admiringly:
Wow! Witch!
Very funny scenes about school
After an explanation in a science lesson, the teacher asks the class:
Well, now do you understand why it snows in winter and not in summer?
Petrov, from the spot:
Of course, understandable! If it fell in the summer, it would melt!
During a Russian language lesson, the teacher says:
Petrov, “I’m studying, you’re studying, he’s studying” - what time is this?
Petrov, with a sigh:
Lost, Mary Ivanna!
Friends come up to an excellent student and say:
Andryukha, let's go to a cafe with the girls tonight!
Andrey, thinking:
No, I won't go with you! There the music is blaring, everyone is making noise...
So what?
Yes, I doubt that in such a situation I will be able to fully understand the essence of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral.
Skits for younger schoolchildren
The following funny scenes are for elementary school. They can be successfully shown at a children's party. True, high school students will have to help their younger comrades in this.
A high school student says to his friends:
Look how stupid this first-grader is! I'll show you now!
He calls the baby and, when he approaches, says to him:
In this hand I have 50 rubles, and in this hand I have 10 - what will you take for yourself?
The kid takes 10 rubles. The high school students laugh, twirl their fingers at their temples, and spread their arms.
A friend of a first-grader asks him on the sidelines:
Why did you choose 10 rubles?
Well, if I choose 50, then the game will be over!
A first-grader examines a manicure from a high school girl (admiringly):
Wow, your nails are so long!
A high school girl, simpering:
What, do you like it?
Well, yes! They must be so convenient for climbing trees!
Mom looks at the first-grader's diary. And there the two is crossed out, and there is a four next to it. Mom, with horror:
Vanechka! What it is?!
Vanechka, calmly looking at his mother:
The teacher told us that if we want, we can correct the bad grade!
Skits with teachers
You can play the following funny short skits about school yourself, or you can invite teachers to participate in them.
Conversation with the teacher:
Sidorkin, didn’t you promise me that you would correct your bad grade?
Yes, Mary Ivanna.
Didn’t I promise to call your parents if you didn’t do this?
Yes, Mary Ivanna, but if I didn’t keep my promise, then you don’t have to keep yours either!
The teacher looks sternly at the latecomer:
Semyon! You're late again! What is it this time?
Semyon, it's my fault:
Mary Ivanna, I woke up, looked at what time it was, and blinked unsuccessfully.
The music teacher addresses mommy:
Your daughter needs to play the piano more!
Mommy, sighing heavily:
Lord, so much more! Our seventh neighbor has already moved out!
Dreams Dreams...
These little ones about school will require minimal scenery to show that the kids have left school, although these conversations can also take place during recess. It all depends on the director’s imagination.
Sidorov, sighing heavily, walks home from school. Ivanov asks him:
Sidorov, what are you doing? Did you get a two?
Sidorov sadly:
And he adds dreamily:
Can you imagine how much easier it would be to learn if a theorem in geometry could be proven with the words: “Well, you can see!”
The guy dreamily: “It would be great if we could read minds!” Then I would know what to answer in class!”
His friend: “Yeah, and I would also know what the teacher thinks when you answer incorrectly!”
Romantic relationship
Of course, funny short scenes about school cannot ignore how unexpectedly sometimes sympathy between boys and girls appears at school.
Vovochka escorts Masha home from school and says to her hesitantly:
Listen, Masha, I want to confess to you (pause), (he then speaks quickly) while you were walking to the board, I tore the wings off a fly and threw it into your briefcase! I'm sorry!
Masha, narrowing her eyes slyly:
I wonder if it tastes good?
Vovochka is confused:
I don’t know... Why are you asking?
Masha calmly:
Yes, I also want to apologize! I threw it in your soup in the dining room while you were going for bread!
Let's laugh a little more
Even the funniest scenes about school are often taken directly from life, so the organizers of the holiday can come up with something similar themselves.
During a Russian language lesson, Vovochka asks his neighbor at his desk:
Do you hear how to say correctly: cottage cheese or cottage cheese?
A neighbor, adjusting his glasses, looking smart:
Emphasis on "o"!
Vovochka, after a pause:
Thank you! Helped me out, really helped me out!
A classmate (who looks like an excellent student) says, sighing:
Yes, Lozhkin, you are not at all friendly with your head!
Lozhkin, shrugging his shoulders:
But I have a purely business relationship with her - I feed her, and she thinks!
Conversation with the teacher
Funny skits about school - whether you are organizing KVN or other fun events - are not complete without dialogues similar to those given below.
A teacher talks to a fashionably dressed high school student:
Lerochka, well done, you stopped being late for school!
Yes, Mary Ivanna, it’s all because of my mother.
Did she have an educational conversation with you?
No, she just bought herself some gorgeous Italian boots!
So what?
Like what? Now I get up first so I can put them on before mom! (Proudly walks away)
The teacher throws up her hands.
An elderly teacher sighs and says to her colleague:
I'll probably have to quit!
What are you saying? You are the best teacher in school!
I was completely overworked... I get on the tram in the morning, it’s full of people, I look up and say sternly: “Hello, sit down!”
Funny? Of course it's funny!
Funny skits about school are good because they are easy to perform and do not require exhausting rehearsals. The main thing is that your cheerful mood is conveyed to the audience!
Mitya, do you know what the word “super” means?
Well, yes, this is something so big that it cannot be bigger.
What about “hyper”?
And “hyper”... (Mitya rubs his forehead) Oh! This is what is more “super”!
Girls dancing at a disco:
Listen, don’t you know what mosol is?
Well, this is such a huge bone, they also put it in borscht. Why are you asking?
Yes, I heard a cool song here: “You my heart, You my soul...”
Music from a famous song performed by the group Modern Talking begins to sound on stage.
Petka with a huge “lantern” under his eye and his friend:
Petka, why are you covered in bruises?
Played snowballs with a girl!
So what?
So, it turns out, she’s from the youth handball team! And these guys don’t miss!
Incident in the locker room
Some funny scenes about school require the participation of extras. But they still won’t be difficult to stage.
The girls scream and drag the reluctant guy. The teacher stops them:
Stop! What's happened?!
One of the girls indignantly:
Lyutikov spied on us in the locker room!
The teacher, looking sternly at Lyutikov:
So what, did you like it?
Lyutikov is silent in confusion, then loudly says:
Girls in chorus, drawn out and offended:
How not?!
All funny scenes about school, as you understand, should be played sincerely and seriously. Minimal decorations won't hurt either.
You can place, for example, two desks and a blackboard on the stage to recreate the appearance of a classroom. If events happen during recess or on the way home, you can fantasize. For the “road home”, one tree or bench is enough. And a situation taking place in a school corridor can be played out in front of a large window in the background.
The main thing in these scenes is not to overload them with decorations. They are short, and therefore the emphasis should be on what the actor is saying, and not on what surrounds him at that moment.
To arrange skits in one concert, you can invite a presenter who will tell the audience where a given situation is happening. Fantasize, and your holiday will definitely be remembered and make the most wonderful impression!
Scene "The Artilleryman's Granddaughter"
Nastya and Lyosha are classmates.
Three preschool boys are Nastya's cousins. "Blyamba" - a machine that destroys an old house; the roar created by it can, by prior agreement, be given a signal from the author: “Blamba!” - make noise from the audience by simultaneously hitting their feet on the floor.
Author. Nastya’s home is far from ideal conditions for studying, but nevertheless the girl studies well. The teacher asked her to work on mathematics with a lagging student, Lesha. This is how this activity happened.
Nastya and Lesha enter the apartment.
Nastya. Well, here we are. Take off your clothes. Go to the kitchen. Sit down.
Nastya. These are brothers. You see, my aunt, my mother’s sister, came to visit us, and with her were her little sons. Aunt stopped for two days. While passing through... And... I broke my leg. Soon I'll be in the hospital for a month. And we have little sons. The bandits are complete! They walk on their heads.
A chair “drives” into the kitchen and is “pushed” by a trough.
One of the kids. Nastya! In! Bulldozer! Holes-holes-holes! Greedy move!
Nastya. Have you seen it? Do you want to work out in such conditions? Then get out the textbook, and quickly, otherwise I have to feed them in about twenty minutes. (Puts a pan on the stove, cuts bread.)
There is a crash. At the same time, there is the stomping of feet behind the scenes, depicting a “blyamba”.
Nastya. Started again.
Lesha. Who started it?
Nastya. Blyamba. There she is, outside the window, destroying the old house for several days now... Well, read, don’t get distracted!
Lesha. The two trains left to meet each other at 11 a.m. and met at 2 p.m.
Lesha. The first train traveled 45 kilometers per hour, and the second - 50 kilometers...
Blyamba. Bang!!!
Lyosha. Find the distance between cities.
Nastya. Well, what do you need to know first? Figure it out!
Blyamba. Bang!!!
Nastya. You think, think, otherwise you won’t train. Got it?
Nastya. You're really weak, aren't you? They're playing in that room. In such conditions, you can decide whatever you want!
Blyamba. Bang!!!
Nastya. Well, that's it! Either say that the first thing you need to do is find out, or get out of here! I have no time to sit with you!
Lesha (thinks out loud). Nastin’s grandfather even commanded a battery at the front when he was wounded. Will I never be able to command a battery? I don't care about that noise! I know one thing: the trains left at 11 o’clock and met at 14.
Nastya. Well!
Lesha. Now... We left at 11 and met at 14...
Blyamba. Bang!!!
Lyosha. Eat! First question: how many hours did the two trains travel?
Lesha. From 14 subtract 11 equals 3!
Children appear. One of them is on all fours with an inverted trough on his back.
Baby. Nastya, I'm a turtle! Wow, I have the shell! Woof woof woof! Rrrr!
Other children hit him with a toy gun and an old saucepan.
Blyamba. Bang!!!
Lesha (not paying attention). The distance between cities is 285 kilometers!
Blyamba. Bang!!!
Nastya. Well, I've decided! And you said the conditions were bad...
Blyamba. Bang!!!
Sketch “Fascinating Hygiene”
Characters
Three students.
Three puppies come onto the stage, one of them (the third) with letters in their hands. Apparently he is upset about something.
First. Are you upset about something?
Third. Well, how can you not be upset? How many times do they tell children that they need to obey their elders, not write on fences, not hurt animals, and fold things carefully.
Second. Don't eat unwashed fruit...
First. And wash your hands before eating, feet before going to bed, and not vice versa.
Third (shocks with letters). Moms, dads, grandmothers, grandfathers, camp counselors write - the guys don’t wash their hands...
First. But I’ll tell you this: when kids are told the same thing all the time: wash your hands, don’t eat unwashed fruit, make your bed - they become so bored that they don’t want to do any of this.
Third. What do you mean - boring? Of course, listening to useful advice is not like listening to a fairy tale. (Stops, thinks.) Yes, not a fairy tale... And you know - I have an idea! Come here!
The three participants whisper, glancing at the audience.
First and Second. That's great!
Third. Dear Guys! Listen to the fairy tale! Once upon a time there lived a king. And he had a garden with golden apples. Every morning the king got up...
Second. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, did exercises...
First. ... And went to the garden. And then one day...
Third (puts on a crown, takes on the image of a king). Who ate my golden apples? I don’t feel sorry for them, but they’re unwashed!
Second. The king's sons came running to the cry. The smartest one, Ivan Tsarevich, said:
The first (in the image of Ivan Tsarevich). The Firebird must have pecked these golden apples - her feathers are scattered all around!
Third. Guys, don't throw your things everywhere!
First. Father, allow me, Ivan Tsarevich, to catch the Firebird and teach her wisdom?
Third. How are you going to catch it? She lives in a cage, in the garden of Koshchei the Immortal! What if he hears you when you follow the Firebird into the garden?
First. Koschey won't hear! He never washes his ears!
Third. Yes? Well, then go ahead.
Second. Ivan Tsarevich mounted his horse and rode off. He sees a huge oak tree standing in the field and on it is written...
Third. Dear Guys! Do not write on trees, fences or in public places!
Second (whispers). Well, we're not talking about that now...
Third (whispers). Yes? Sorry...
Second. And on the oak tree it is written: “If you go to the right, you will leave without a horse, if you go to the left, you will not find yourself.”
First. Oh, I'll go right! Without a horse, without a horse!..
Second and Third. Wrong! Guys, take care of the animals!
Third. Well, right or wrong, you can’t go back. The Gray Wolf jumped out to meet Ivan Tsarevich.
Oh, who is this?
Second. It's me, the wolf, the forest orderly! Your horse is such a coward - it ran away! Well, okay, then I’ll eat you, Ivan Tsarevich!
First. Yes? Did you wash your paws before eating?
Second. No...
First. Do you know which paw to hold the knife in, which fork?
Second. I don't know...
Third. Guys, learn to use cutlery correctly at lunch!
Second. Ivan Tsarevich, teach me to eat correctly! And for this I will take you to Koshchei the Immortal...
Third. Ivan Tsarevich promised the wolf to fulfill his request, and they galloped off! In the garden of Koshchei the Immortal, Tsarevich Ivan took a cage with the Firebird...
Second. And Koschey, with his unwashed ears, didn’t even move!
Third. And when he caught it, he gave chase.
Second. Ivan Tsarevich, things are bad - Koschey the Immortal is catching up with us! Throw back the magic soap.
Third. Ivan Tsarevich threw the soap - the mountain grew in front of Koshchei.
First. Guys, use baby soap! Soap is your friend!
Second. Koschey the Immortal drove around the mountain and is catching up with us again. Ivan Tsarevich, do you have a comb?
First. L of course! I always have it with me!
Second. Give it up!
Third. Ivan Tsarevich threw a comb - a dense forest grew up in front of Koshchei.
First. Koschey the Immortal entered the forest and got lost! Guys, learn to use a compass in the forest!
Second. And Ivan Tsarevich and I calmly gallop home.
Third. And they don’t know that the prince’s brothers also went after the Firebird! This is what happens when you don’t write to mom and dad for a long time. Suddenly the brothers saw Ivan Tsarevich sleeping in an open field, and next to him a cage with the Firebird.
Second. At that time, the wolf was washing his face in the forest, brushing his teeth, and doing morning exercises.
Third. The envious brothers cut off the legs of the sleeping Ivan Tsarevich, grabbed the Firebird and galloped home. The wolf returned and saw that Ivan Tsarevich’s legs had been cut off.
Second. Why didn’t you, Ivan Tsarevich, wash your feet with “living” water before going to bed?
First (crying). Oh, I didn’t wash, I didn’t wash...
Second. Well, okay, I'll help you again!
Third. He splashed “living” water on Tsarevich Ivan’s feet and they grew back.
Second. And the wolf gave chase, caught up with the brothers and ate them. Tsarevich Ivan thanked the wolf and took the cage with the Firebird.
Third. Suddenly the Firebird said to him: “Feed me, Ivan Tsarevich, for three days with selected grain.”
First. This is what Ivan Tsarevich did. For three days the Firebird ate selected grain, and on the fourth...
Second. She turned into Vasilisa the Beautiful.
Third. Guys, feed the birds!
First. And Ivan Tsarevich and Vasilisa the Beautiful had a wedding and lived happily and for a very, very long time.
Third. Because they have never eaten unwashed vegetables and fruits!
Sketch “Interview from Space”
Vitya is a 5th grade student.
Alien.
Lyoshka is Vitya's friend.
Vitya sits on the windowsill, looking out the window. In the corner of the room is a model of a TV, unplugged from the outlet: the cord lies on the floor, the screen is covered with cloth, and an “alien” is hiding behind the screen.
So, one day, Vitya Bryukvin, a fifth grade student “Yu,” was sitting on the windowsill at home and looking out the window. He was in a bad mood. And not even because he got a C in geography. In the end, a “three” is not a “two”, a grade is just a grade. The teacher ruined Vitya’s mood. Putting a mark in the journal, she said skeptically: “Again, Bryukvin, you have a banal “C.” Will we wait until the time when you surprise humanity with something?”
Vitya. First of all, I was offended by the word “trivial,” even though I don’t know what it means. As for humanity, we'll see about that later! So I’ll take it and make some discovery or invent something. Better yet, catch a signal from another planet! I can imagine the announcer solemnly announcing: “A simple, modest fifth-grade student, Victor Bryukvin, has made contact with aliens! The first in the history of mankind!”
There is a noise coming from the corner of the room where the TV is.
Vitya. What it is? After all, no one turned on the TV! (He approaches the TV, touches the cord with the plug - it lies on the floor.) Oh! (An image of a man appeared on the screen: his eyes resemble small light bulbs, there are no ears, and under his nose there are two mouths, one below the other.)
Alien (in a clear voice, similar to the subway). Attention! Planet Centrifuge 86-U begins the first interplanetary telepathic communication session. Greetings, alien! We heard your mental signal - the desire to establish contact with our planet. Please answer our questions clearly. Question one: who are you?
Vitya. I... Vitka... that is, Viktor Bryukvin, a student of the fifth grade "U".
Alien. We are glad that we are dealing with a creature of the highest, fifth class, who apparently has a sufficient supply of information.
Vitya. Actually, at our school there are “higher” classes - sixth, seventh, tenth...
Alien. Question two: what is the name of your planet?
Vitya. Planet? Well, what’s his name, well, just Earth...
Alien. It's clear. Your planet is called nukakegonu, simply earth. Question three: when was your planet formed?
Vitya (frantically trying to remember). I missed this topic. Ran away from class to the cinema... Our planet... was formed... a thousand years ago, or several million, or even trillions, or whatever they are, broths...
Alien. It is clear that this issue is under study for you. The next question is: what do the inhabitants of your planet eat and breathe?
Vitya (confident). We eat lunches, pasta, cutlets. Sometimes we eat ice cream... But we breathe normally, through our nose and horn... that is, through our mouth.
Alien. As for breathing, it’s not clear. We know gases: hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen. Explain what kind of gas this is - nasomirot?
Vitya. You see, I'm not ready to answer questions today. I'm in a bad mood today.
Alien. It's clear. Your receiving device is apparently poorly configured to receive our signals, so you are not in the appropriate mood. Goodbye. Wait for us on the air on December 31 at 12 am your time. Get ready, because the next time you will find yourself in the reception area of our signals only in a few years. The communication session is over!
The screen is covered with fabric. Vitya checks again to see if the TV is on.
Vitya (dials the phone number). Lyoshka, hello, it's me! Didn't watch TV just now? They were showing some strange film there. Sci-fi...
Lyoshka. No, I didn't even turn on the TV...
Vitya. And I didn't turn it on...
Lyoshka. Are you sick? You're talking nonsense! Let's go outside and play hockey!
Vitya. I can’t, I’m determined to learn geography.
Scene “Helped”
Characters
Sasha Pirozhkova is a student.
Sasha's grandmother.
Varvara Kuzminichna is a pensioner, sponsored by Sasha.
Scene one
Grandmother sets the table; Sasha enters the room, yawning.
Grandmother. Finally got up, sleepyhead.
Sasha. I wanted to finish the dream.
I also made it up: a dream.
Look, eleven o'clock!
Breakfast has been waiting for you for a long time,
It's cooling down.
Doesn't matter:
That's cold
Which is hot.
The grandmother peers into Site’s face, then takes her hand and leads her out from behind the table.
Grandmother. Sasha, what does all this mean?
Sasha. What?
After all, you’re not washed!
What a girl!..
Sasha (pulling out his hand).
Better, right?
You keep grumbling
Yes, you knock pots.
You don’t let me sleep or eat.
Grandma (angrily).
Don't get out of bed to eat,
You go wash your face first.
Sasha (leaving, dissatisfied).
Okay, don't worry.
I'll wash myself, there's no need to drive me away.
Grandma (following Sasha).
I’m not at all happy with my granddaughter.
Doesn't want to understand words
And I regret punishing.
How should I raise her?
What should I do with her now?
I just don't have the patience anymore
She tormented me.
Putting me to bed is a battle,
And waking up is war again.
Sasha returns.
Sasha (wiping himself with a towel). Here, I washed my face, look!
Grandmother. In all honesty, it’s not three,
After all, I didn’t wet my face.
Sasha. I wet it, I didn’t forget.
Well, if that’s the case, then comb your hair
Hurry up and sit down at the table.
After all, lessons need to be done
And take a little walk... (towards the hall)
They ask so much for the house.
Sasha sits down at the table, then jumps up and quickly puts books and notebooks into his briefcase.
Sasha. Oh, I forgot again!
He grabs his coat, quickly dresses, and wants to leave.
Grandma (not letting me in). Stop! Where?
Then we'll eat.
I have no time at all.
Grandmother. How then?
I'm in a hurry, I'm in a hurry...
I really need it.
Grandma (sternly).
Not a girl - a torment.
Sasha (tearful). True, I'm very busy.
Grandmother. Your girlfriends will be waiting.
Sasha (hurriedly).
I'm not with them. To an old lady.
I decided to take patronage
To help her with everything.
Breaks free and runs away.
Scene two
Varvara Kuzminichna is knitting something. The bell rings. She goes to the door and opens it.
Varvara Kuzminichna. Sign in!
Sasha enters the room with a piece of paper in her hands.
Sasha. Can?
Varvara Kuzminichna. Can!
Sasha. Sorry. (Looks at the piece of paper, reads.)
Are you Varvara Kuzminichna?
Varvara Kuzminichna. That's right, me.
Yes, great!
And I'm Sasha Pirozhkova
From junior high school,
From the fourth link.
Now attached to you.
Varvara Kuzminichna. What for?
Well, why?
You are quite old.
I decided to take patronage
To help you with everything.
We'll do everything together.
Varvara Kuzminichna. Well, if so, I'm very happy. Helps Sasha undress, draws attention to the torn hanger. He looks at the sleeve and turns it.
Together we will sew a hanger.
And the sleeve needs to be mended.
He puts his coat on the back of the chair.
What shift are you on?
Sasha. To the second.
Varvara Kuzminichna.
Well then
Feel free to help me
About two hours. Sit here.
Tell me, when did you get up?
How did you help your mother?
Mom and dad are at work
Grandma is alone at home.
Varvara Kuzminichna. Do you live on friendly terms with your grandmother?
Very friendly. But she
Always busy with something.
Not a granny - a tormentor.
Varvara Kuzminichna.
Are you helping her?
Santa. Come on!
Help someone so healthy.
Varvara Kuzminichna. How old is she, Sasha?
I don't know how old
After all, our grandmother
There is no birthday at all.
Varvara Kuzminichna.
How much does it matter to her, my dear!..
Apparently, her granddaughter is in trouble.
Looks at Sasha.
So, are you my boss?
Sasha. Certainly!
Varvara Kuzminichna. Have you had breakfast?
That is, no,
I didn't eat.
Varvara Kuzminichna. Why?
I ran to you.
Well, tell me, who is eating?
If you're short on time?
Varvara Kuzminichna.
Time is valuable, you're right.
Still, you and I first
Let's drink coffee with milk
Yes with cookies...
I'll go cook dinner
You must repeat here
Everything that is assigned at school.
Is it clear, Sasha?
Sasha (decisively).
No, it's unclear!
I don't agree to this.
We need to cook together
Both lessons and lunch.
He takes books and notebooks out of his briefcase and places them on the table.
Varvara Kuzminichna (perplexed). Yes?
Sasha (firmly). Certainly!
He notices the cat and goes to him.
However, no.
After coffee with milk
I'll take care of that cat.
You will solve my problems,
And then... cook dinner.
Varvara Kuzminichna (sadly).
He spreads his hands.
She helped so much!
Scene “Doctor and Patient”
Characters
Doctor.
Sick.
A patient enters a doctor's office.
Doctor. What hurts?
Sick. My tooth hurts!
Doctor. Yesterday I had? Sick. No.
Doctor. Here's my advice: take a string, tie one end to the tooth and the other to the door handle. And have someone from your family open the door. You'll come tomorrow. The next day.
Sick. Oh, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!
Doctor. What hurts?
Sick. My tooth hurts.
Doctor. Yesterday I had?
Sick. Was.
Doctor. What's my advice?
Sick. It's torn off.
Doctor. What came off?
Sick. Door handle.
Doctor. Here's another tip: take a rope, tie one end to the tooth and the other to the table leg, and have someone move the table half a meter. You'll come tomorrow. The next day.
Sick. Oh, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!
Doctor. What hurts?
Sick. My tooth hurts.
Doctor. Yesterday I had?
Sick. Was.
Doctor. What's my advice?
Sick. It's torn off.
Doctor. What came off?
Sick. A table leg.
Doctor. Here's another tip: take a thick rope, tie one end to a tooth and the other to a train car. You'll come tomorrow. The next day.
Sick. Does not hurt! Does not hurt!
Doctor. What doesn't hurt?
Sick. The tooth doesn't hurt!
Doctor. Yesterday I had?
Sick. Yes.
Doctor. Well, what's my advice?
Sick. It's torn off.
Doctor. What came off?
Sick. The carriage from the train.
Doctor. Where's the tooth?
Sick. The station manager knocked it out.