The child does not go to school. If the child is not doing well in school

Today, in the field of upbringing, a problem is quite common when a child does not want to go to school. Parents of both primary school students and adolescents can face such a phenomenon. What should adults do in this case? First of all, you should discard the thoughts that you have a bad son or daughter, or that you are to blame for this situation. And then you need to figure out the reason why your child says: "I don't want to go to school." What to do to make him go to school with pleasure? on the resolution of such an issue are given in this article.

Identifying the reason for unwillingness to learn

When parents feel that the child is getting sadder with the approach of autumn, they should definitely find out the reason for this state.

If we are talking about an elementary school student, special attention should be paid to his drawings. After all, it is not uncommon for babies to display their fears on paper. Perhaps the main theme of the drawing will be an angry teacher or children who are fighting. A game can also be a good option for identifying the reason for not wanting to go to school. For example, a beloved bear cries when the first of September comes. Or the bunny refuses to go to school. Let the kid explain the reason for this behavior of the toys.

In the case when the words “I don’t want to go to school” are heard from the mouth of a high school student, the root of the problem can be identified only through a confidential conversation with your child.

School adaptation period

Throughout September-October, the adaptation of a son or daughter to school takes place. For some children, the habituation period may even last until the New Year. At this time, parents who hear: “I don’t want to go to school” are advised the following:

• pay more attention to the child than usual;
• observe what the son or daughter draws, what games he prefers and what he / she cares about;
• support the baby in every possible way;
• try to communicate more often with his teachers and classmates.

You should also take a responsible attitude to the observance of the daily routine. Moreover, this applies to both primary school students and high school students. A prerequisite is a fixed bedtime. You should also set an alarm clock in such a way that the morning awakening does not occur at the last moment, when it is already time to leave the house, but there was an opportunity to calmly wake up, stretch, do exercises, have breakfast and go to school. Nervousness and lateness - a categorical "no"!

If a child does not want to go to school, the reasons for this may be different. It is necessary to dwell on each of them in detail. First, let's look at the problems that may arise in children of primary school age.

The first reason. First grader's fear of the new and unknown

Why school? The first reason for this is the fear of something new and unknown, which is most often experienced by domestic, "non-Sadik" babies. They are frightened by a lot of factors. For example, that mom will not be able to constantly be around, that she will need to communicate with people who were not previously familiar, that classmates will turn out to be unfriendly. Sometimes children who are not accustomed to independence are even afraid to go to the toilet, as it seems to them that they can get lost in the corridors.

If the child, precisely because of the fear of new things, says: “I don’t want to go to school,” what should parents do in such a situation? In the last days of August, the child should take a tour of the school so that he gets acquainted with the offices, corridors and toilets. And then on the first of September all these places will already be familiar to the baby, and he will not be so scared. If you are lucky enough to meet other, older students, it is recommended to communicate with them in front of the child, and maybe even introduce them to your baby. Let the older children tell the future first grader how they like to study, what good teachers work at the school, how many new friends you can make here.

Also, parents can tell their life stories about how they were afraid to go to first grade, what exactly frightened them then. Such stories must have a happy ending. Then the baby realizes that there is nothing wrong, and everything will definitely be fine.

The second reason. The presence of a negative experience in a primary school student

Sometimes it happens that a child who says: “I don’t want to go to school” has already had the opportunity to experience the educational process earlier. Maybe he's already finished first grade. Or the toddler was attending preschool classes. And as a result, the experience gained was negative. There can be many reasons for this. For example, a child was teased by other children. Or it was difficult for him to absorb new information. Or maybe there were conflict situations with the teacher. After such unpleasant moments, the child is afraid of their repetition and, accordingly, says: "I don't want to go to school."

What should parents do in this case? The main advice, as in all other cases, is to talk to the child. If a conflict with a teacher is to blame for everything, there is no need to say that the teacher is bad. Indeed, for a first grader, he is almost the first unfamiliar representative of the adult world. By communicating with him, the child learns to build relationships with elders. Parents should try to look at the situation with an open mind and understand who is right and who is wrong. If the kid did something wrong, you need to point him out to the mistake. If the teacher is to blame, then you should not tell the child about it. Just enroll him, for example, in a parallel class to minimize their interaction with this teacher.

If there was a conflict with classmates, you should analyze this situation, give the right advice and teach the child to solve problems of this nature himself. The kid should be conveyed that you will always support him, that you are on his side and that he can always count on you, but he must deal with his peers himself. The main task of parents is to explain how to get out of such situations so that all parties to the conflict are satisfied.

The third reason. Fear of a first grader that he will not be able to do something

From early childhood, parents, without knowing it, cultivated this fear in their child. When he said that he wanted to do something on his own, the adults did not give him such an opportunity and argued that the baby would not succeed. Therefore, now, when a child does not want to go to school, he may have a fear that he will not be able to study well or that his classmates will not want to be friends with him.

What should parents do in this situation? You should recall the moments when the child achieved success as often as possible, praise him and be sure to cheer him up. The kid should know that mom and dad are proud of him and believe in his victories. We need to rejoice together with the first grader in his small achievements. You should also entrust him with various important tasks so that the child understands that he is trusted.

The fourth reason. It seems to a student of elementary grades that the teacher does not like him

A student of elementary grades may have a problem when it seems to him that the teacher does not like him. Often this is due only to the fact that there are many children in the class and the teacher simply does not have the opportunity to personally address each child, to praise him. Sometimes it is enough for a child to make just one comment to make him think that the teacher is biased towards him. The consequence of this is that the child does not want to go to school.

What should adults do if a similar situation arises? First of all, you need to explain to your son or daughter that a teacher is not a mom or dad, not a comrade or a friend. The teacher must give knowledge. You need to listen carefully and ask questions when something is not clear. Parents should talk to the teacher, consult with him and be interested in the success of the baby. In the case when the teacher really dislikes your child and you cannot influence this, you should advise the kid to nitpick. If the conflict is really serious, you should consider transferring your child to a parallel class.

Now it is the turn to consider the reasons for the reluctance to learn from adolescents.

The fifth reason. The high school student does not understand why he needs to study

Sometimes it happens that a high school student says: “I don’t want to go to school” because he does not understand why he needs the acquired knowledge and where he can subsequently apply it.

What should parents do in such a situation? You need to try to tie the subjects studied at school to real life. One should learn to find physics, chemistry, geography and biology in the surrounding world. To form interest in acquiring knowledge, it is recommended to visit museums, exhibitions and educational excursions with the child. When walking in the park, you can try to draw a plan together. Ask your high school student to help you translate the text from English and then be sure to thank him. The main task of parents is to form a child's persistent interest in acquiring knowledge at school.

The sixth reason. Poor high school performance

Often the reason for the reluctance to learn is the banal poor performance of the student. He simply cannot understand what the teacher is talking about. Boredom becomes the main emotion in the lesson. The longer this misunderstanding lasts, the more likely the development of a dead-end situation, when the essence of the subject finally eludes the child. And if the teacher scolded or ridiculed the student in front of the whole class for academic failure, then the desire to learn this subject can leave the high school student forever. It is not surprising that in such a situation the child does not want to go to school.

How can you help a teenager in this case? It is easiest to make up for his missed knowledge on a particular subject when the problem is discovered relatively recently. If one of the parents is knowledgeable enough in the desired industry and if he has the proper patience, you can work with the child at home. A good option is to visit a tutor. But first of all, you should try to explain to the high school student how important knowledge of a particular subject is. Without realizing this fact, all subsequent studies can go to waste.

The seventh reason. The high school student is not interested

Another reason why a child does not want to go to school may be his giftedness. Sometimes a high school student who grasps information on the fly is simply not interested in attending classes. After all, the educational process is designed for the average student. And if a child has to listen to information that is familiar to him, his attention is dulled and a feeling of boredom appears.

What Parents Should Do If the school has a classroom for these students, it is recommended that you transfer your son or daughter there. If not, then you need to help the child satisfy his curiosity through self-study.

In the case when the lack of interest in learning is due not to special giftedness, but to a banal lack of motivation, you need to try to interest the child. It is necessary to identify several main areas that attract him, and help him develop in this direction. For example, if your son or daughter is interested in a computer, have him / her help you with simple tasks for your job. For this, the child should be thanked, and maybe even given a symbolic salary. This will be the motivation, which is necessary in this case.

The eighth reason. The Unrequited Love of a High School Student

In adolescents, the problem of unrequited love can become very acute due to their age, temperament and hormonal levels. The child says the words “I don’t want to go to school” because he doesn’t want to see the object of his feelings.

In such a situation, parents are strictly forbidden to shower their son or daughter with ridicule, since the case is really serious. Their task is to be there, support and encourage their child and have heart-to-heart conversations when the teenager is ready for this. If he asks to transfer him to another school, parents should not agree and go on about the emotions of the high school student. It should be explained that the emerging problems need to be solved, and not run away from them. Convince the child that over time everything will work out and that new happiness will surely await him.

The ninth reason. Conflict of a teenager with classmates

The reasons for conflicts between a child and classmates can be varied. It is difficult to do without controversial situations and conflicts of interest. But if the relationship with other teenagers is constantly tense, the student begins to feel like an outcast and, of course, the mother hears: "I don't want to go to school." The child is constantly in a state of stress, the school becomes that place, even the thoughts of which cause discomfort in the high school student. The combination of these factors destroys his self-esteem and negatively affects the child's attitude.

The main thing that parents should not do in this case is to let the situation take its course. You should try to call your son or daughter for a confidential conversation. After that, you need to tell your vision of solving the problem that has arisen, give some advice. For example, for a student to stay close to a teacher or other adult during recess. In case of ridicule and aggression from classmates, one should silently, avoiding eye contact and not responding to provocations, leave. The child should feel confident and not practice victim behavior. This will be indicated by his posture, his head held high, his confident look. A high school student should not be afraid to say no.

If the situation aggravates, to solve the problem, it is necessary to involve teachers and a school psychologist, if there is one in the educational institution that your child is attending.

Why don't kids want to go to school? The main task of every parent is to find the answer to this question in relation to their child. If the cause can be identified, then it is not so difficult to solve the problem. If you could not cope on your own, you should seek help from teachers or a school psychologist. In no case should parents solve the problem with the help of forceful methods or by pressure on their son or daughter. The child should feel that mom and dad are always on his side and are ready to support him at any time.

About half of Russian students do not want to go to school because of their dislike of the teacher, said Alexander Kuznetsov, president of the Association of Child Psychologists and Psychiatrists of Russia. Did you adults like going to school?

The child does not want to go to school - a problem teacher?

Let's analyze the fundamentally wrong, in my opinion, opinion of the director of the Physics and Mathematics Lyceum No. 239 in St. Petersburg, the winner of the All-Russian competition "School Director-2012" Maxim Pratusevich. He agrees that the curriculum for modern schoolchildren is not easy. However, he believes laziness is the main reason for not wanting to go to school.

“There is little time and we have to work, but it’s not very accepted to work these days. Children are not accustomed to work. They say that it is necessary to study fun in order to study well, but this is not so. Studying is hard work. We are learning for life, but in life you have to work hard, to be able to do it ", - said Pratusevich.

Why do I think this opinion is wrong? The trouble for schoolchildren is in such teachers and directors, as if stuck in the Soviet Union. One comb for all, a shovel for all, and work hard! Criminals must work hard, and children are flowers!

Let's not forget that learning and working is fun first and foremost! And if work or study is hard work for you and not at all a joy, then why? Teachers, start with yourself! Expand your horizons! Our children do not need to be "taught". They are not dogs!

Children have a natural need for learning, they are simply interested, it is necessary to move away from the patterns "desks in a row and the teacher is only at the blackboard, he has power, he gives out grades." The teacher should become a friend to all the guys! Remember Tsiolkovsky!

But according to Kuznetsov, if the parents want, so that the child does not have problems with learning at school, they must keep the main thing - the child's motivation to learn. "And not due to the fact that study is work, it is a big stupidity, but on the contrary, to explain that study is always interesting. We need to look for ways how not to kill the natural natural curiosity of the child for knowledge, " He remarked.

The whole world in the field of education follows the path of individual the physical and mental abilities of the child, which are given to him by nature. Well, I can't, for example, make a child tumble over his head at the age of 8, he partially suffers from gross motor skills. But he perfectly assembles a designer from small parts.

Thank you for international schools, Waldorf schools, family education today. Parents have little choice, although they often have to pay for it with money or with their own time.

What if the child does not want to go to school?

It is not uncommon for a child to declare that he does not want to go to school. And it is very important to understand the reasons for this situation and how much of a problem it is. It is definitely not necessary to panic at the first childish "I do not want". Perhaps this is a sign of fatigue. Agree, a daily routine with a rather busy schedule of studies and homework, combined with a heavy load of the program, can tire even a child with a positive attitude towards learning. Think about your reluctance to go to work and your dreams of a vacation. If the child's protest is of this nature, then this is not a problem. Just try to choose a day for unloading, when all lessons and serious tasks will be put aside - a little laziness or a family vacation in nature will not hurt.

A completely different approach is required when you see the reluctance to go to school is caused by the depressed mood of the child, if some conversations about school, teachers, studies and classmates make him strain, fall into irritability or aggression, or vice versa, into apathy. In this case, we can talk about the existence of a problem. And the sooner you find out the reasons and start to eliminate them, the better.

Child does not want to go to school - most common reasons

1. Conflict situations with classmates or older students of the school.
Unfortunately, the children's team tends to be tough. They still cannot assess the situation and the consequences of their actions in volume, it seems to them that their opinion and perception of others is the only correct one, and, therefore, the actions are fully justified. In fact, very often a fine line of what is permissible is formed and the formation of one's own personality begins to be carried out by humiliating and limiting the freedoms of another person. If your child is in a conflict situation with peers, you need to find out as soon as possible.

2. Conflict with the teacher. Surprisingly, this problem is relevant not only for middle and high school, but also for primary school students. It's just that in different age categories, these conflicts are of a different nature. If we are talking about high school students, then the conflict is often based on the principle of the domestic educational system, when teachers expect from students exclusively obedience and do not even admit the very idea that students can dispute any theses, express their opinions and look for new hypotheses, solutions, etc. proof. The result is a conflict. In the first grade, the dissonance between the temperaments of the child and the teacher can become causal. It is no coincidence that psychologists recommend choosing for a first-grader not a school in terms of prestige and elite status, but choosing the first teacher. Harmony in the relationship between the student and the teacher in primary school largely determines his further craving for learning and everything new. For a more specialized transfer of a student to other classes or schools, it is recommended in the 8-9 grade.

3. Lack of interest in the learning process itself. Please note that the roots of this cause can be different:

• the child's lag in one or several subjects - he begins to feel discomfort, awkwardness and uncertainty, the advantages of other students make him withdrawn and the unwillingness to go to school becomes a kind of defensive reaction;
• the opposite situation - the child's lively mind and curiosity are ahead of the school curriculum, and teachers do not always show interest in such children and do not try to make their lessons more interesting due to additional material; As a result, the child is frankly bored and does not see the point of attending school regularly;
• An unbearable load for the child's intellectual capabilities - especially often parents who send their kids to special schools with various biases face such a problem, it is very important not to overestimate the child's abilities, otherwise study turns into hard labor.

4. Family problems - carelessness and lack of control from the outside adults, critical situations in the form of divorce, illness or death of loved ones. All these are stressful situations that put a hard test on the psyche of children and can find a variety of expressions, including refusal to attend school.

What to do if your child doesn't want to go to school

Let's consider possible solutions for each of the above reasons:

1. Let your child not go to school! If the child is confident in you and you represent the interests of your child, then he will not have the need to cause illness to justify the absence from school. If he is sad, ill, expresses true denial, no need pressure"How can you miss school ?! You will lag behind your peers! How can you catch up?" Go with him unscheduled to a museum or mini-hike. Some schools have already introduced holidays every 5th week. Take note of this. Be his friend, try to figure out the reason for the refusal to attend school. In difficult cases, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist.

2. When there is a conflict with peers, it is very important to collect information about it from various sources. Children tend to exaggerate or under-speak, especially if it is their fault. Therefore, talk to the teacher, other parents and children. You have to balance very delicately - on the one hand, you have to make your child feel full support and protection, but on the other hand, you have to understand the root of the conflict and find the truth, and only after that start reconciling the parties. In some cases, the only solution is to change schools.

3. The conflict between a child and a teacher is a difficult topic, because you are faced with a situation where already one adult with a pedagogical education turned out to be powerless in resolving it. Your actions are a frank conversation with both the child and the teacher. If you can't find a common language, perhaps the best solution is to change the class or school.

4. Having determined the reason for the lack of interest in learning, you have to make active efforts to correct the situation:

• pull up the items that are lagging behind - work out with the child on your own or hire a tutor;
• diversify the child's leisure - sections, circles, additional classes in favorite subjects will help;
• learn to love your child for who he is and not demand unbearable efforts from him - the fear of disappointing parents is a huge depressing factor; consider transferring to a school with a standard program.

5. We are unable to prevent many situations in life, but the task of parents and loved ones is to make them minimally traumatic for the child. You don't need to train your child from school. All children are different, maybe the so widespread in the world course of "homeschooling", in other words - home (family) education, suits yours? Isn't it a single school? The child has a natural need to learn. Is it worth it to ruin the school that he hates at the moment?

In the end, you can talk to a doctor and take a certificate on the sparing regimen, and safely study at home one day a week. And the child is less stressed - and you have peace of mind!

But the most important rule that parents should remember is to never tell a child that he is stupid, and not be annoyed if he does not understand something. If you are annoyed, then you are setting high goals. Go down below. And be sure to encourage your child's independence!

School anxiety, school phobia, refusal to attend school, school neurosis ... The names are different, but the problem is the same: the child refuses to attend classes. He perceives school not as a place where he communicates with peers and gains knowledge. For him, she is a constant source of fear and stress. How to be in this situation?

Parents must first learn to distinguish between anxiety and anxiety. Occasional expressions of anxiety before, for example, an important test or performance at a holiday is a normal reaction. Anxiety is a constant worry that develops into a reluctance to go to school. Every morning the child feels depressed, he is not happy about the upcoming day, he is looking for an excuse not to go to school. At the same time, on weekends or on holidays, he behaves completely normal.

Most children cannot or do not want to explain what the matter is. But every morning they have a "stomach ache" or "temperature rises." And often this is not a simulation - with severe anxiety, all symptoms actually appear. Parents will have to determine the cause of this condition themselves.

Why does the child refuse to go to school

First-graders usually have a problem with difficulties with social adaptation. The child is simply uncomfortable in an unfamiliar environment and wants to go home, where everything is clear and familiar. Especially often it happens in families where parents for a long time protected the baby from the difficulties and realities of life. As a result, the child feels like a stranger at school: he cannot find a common language with his peers and does not know how to communicate with teachers.

In this case, you need to actively engage in the socialization of the child, ask him to carry out simple assignments: go to the nearest store, go with one of the adults - but not with mom and dad - somewhere on public transport. Parents should simulate situations in which the child can show independence.

Also, elementary school students are often afraid not to meet the expectations of their parents and are worried if something does not work out for them. A child can get upset even because of minor failures - he forgot a notebook, straight hooks in the copybooks do not work out, parents took them from lessons later than others.

The adaptation period lasts from a month to six months, after which the level of anxiety in younger students usually returns to normal

It is important not to make exaggerated demands on him, not to scold him for minor oversights and explain that not everyone succeeds the first time. Talk about your learning difficulties and how you dealt with them. The adaptation period lasts from a month to six months, after which the level of anxiety in younger students usually returns to normal.

The second tipping point occurs when moving to high school. But adolescent anxiety in relation to school life can also be a manifestation of character traits. What situations are most often the cause for worries?

The child is afraid of being punished at home for low grades or bad behavior.

He is embarrassed to answer at the blackboard, he is afraid to publicly make a mistake, he is afraid that everyone will laugh at him.

He cannot find a common language with one of the teachers, he is faced with ridicule, reproaches, nagging, underestimated grades and inattentive attitude.

Feels weak and insecure, for example, afraid that high school students might take money away or tease about unfashionable clothes.

Feels different from everyone else, cannot join any company and becomes an outcast.

The child becomes infected with anxiety from loved ones. For example, the mother is very worried about the marks, constantly reminds that "it is important to study well, otherwise you will not go to university and become a janitor."

He has an excellent student syndrome, he tries to be the best, constantly competes with other students and, as a result, is overloaded with tasks.

The main mistake of parents in any of these situations is not to pay attention to the problem or to believe that "it will pass by itself." Some schoolchildren are able to independently cope with the problem, adapt to the situation, find themselves and their place in school life. They respond appropriately to failures, do not worry about marks or comments. But most need help.

How can a parent help?

To begin with, it is very important to understand and accept the child's anxiety. Remember: he has every right to her.

1. Sincerely, not for the sake of a tick, take an interest in the life, thoughts, feelings, fears of the child. Teach him to talk about them. Find out what lessons he likes and why. Is this the merit of the teacher or the child is interested in the subject itself?

Ask not only about grades, but also about how and for what they were given. What emotions did the assessment evoke - pride, disappointment, anger, shame? Being able to recognize and describe your emotions is a very important skill that will come in handy not only in school life.

2. Explain to your son or daughter that it is normal not to know something or to be late. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Let the child do not hesitate to speak if he is tired or physically does not have time to complete the task. Unfortunately, today's schoolchildren are often overwhelmed.

3. Even if children's problems do not seem serious, it is important to recognize the child's right to them. Do not discount the problem: "Just think, I forgot to learn the poem." But also do not inflate the elephant out of a fly: “How could you not learn a verse? Why do you keep forgetting everything? Who are you so irresponsible? "

Always think about the consequences of such an intervention. Sometimes it can make things worse.

4. Do not rush to call the principal or the parents of a classmate who teases your child. Do not interfere with the situation unnecessarily. As a last resort, make sure that the son or daughter does not know about it.

Always think about the consequences of such an intervention. Sometimes it can make the situation worse. Moreover, this way you will not teach the child independence.

5. Teach your child to draw conclusions from unpleasant situations - bad grades, quarrels with a classmate, squabbles with the teacher. The experience gained will help you avoid even more trouble.

6. Be an example to your child. Share with him your worries, worries, difficulties at work and tell how you overcome them. Teach your child - and learn for yourself! - to relax and adequately express negative emotions. Remember: calm, happy parents have balanced children.

7. In some cases, if the parents cannot help or correctly understand the situation, it is better not to delay and consult a psychologist.

About the expert

(Béatrice Copper-Royer) is a clinical psychologist, an expert on child and adolescent behavior, the author of the book "I'm afraid of the wolf, I'm afraid of everything."

Good day, dear parents. Today we will deal with the question "why do children not want to go to school?" You may encounter such a problem when sending a first-grader to a school, or you may have a teenager. It is extremely important to be able to identify such a change in the baby's life in time and not let everything go by itself, saying that the child himself will cope with his difficulties, and the first-grader will have time to adapt. Sometimes the reason for not wanting to go to school can lie in serious problems and in your inaction, you will only aggravate an already difficult situation.

Reasons for reluctance

I remember how at school the children made fun of those who do not have fashionable clothes, who wear their mother's jacket because they cannot buy a new one or wear clothes for their older brother. Today, your son or daughter can be mocked if he does not have a smartphone. For example, they tease my child with this, they say that he is the only one, although I hardly believe in it. But my son does not have this gadget, not because of a lack of money, but because of poor eyesight and a ban on staying in front of the screen for more than 30 minutes, but let him have such a device, it will not come off from him. Well at least Nikita understands this and calmly accepts the attacks of his classmates.

1. The child cannot cope with the school load, it is difficult for him to learn new knowledge, there is a mess in his head, it is impossible to study.
2. Loss of interest may be the reason for reluctance. This often happens in elementary school, if the teacher cannot interest the children, she presents her material in a boring way.
3. The pressure of the parents, the expectation that their child will "roll the golden mountains", will be the smartest in the class, and so on, often simply discourages the whole hunt, besides, the baby is in constant tension, afraid to make a mistake.
4. A child can be lazy to go to school, get up in the morning. And if the parents do not have much control over this process, then they feel at all at ease.
5. The kid may have bad friends who will start to incite him to skip school.
6. In adolescence, the reason for unwillingness to attend school can be non-reciprocal love. Especially if the subject of adoration laughed at your child or demonstratively spends time with another.
7. The stressful psychological environment at home can also lead to complete apathy and reluctance to learn.

First grader problems

• the baby is afraid of being left without a mother, especially if he has not attended a preschool before;
• acquaintance with a large number of unfamiliar children is frightening, because not all of them can be friendly;
• the child is simply not sure that he will be able to study well, answer correctly in the lessons;
• in the yard from friends, neighbors or from an older brother, the kid could hear negative statements about the school, and now the child has a terrible idea of ​​this place.

What to do with them

1. The task of the parents, even before the start of the school year, is to explain to the child that there is nothing to be afraid of, to tell that all the children will be at school for the first time and that everything is, as he is, worried. The kid should know that within the school walls he will find new friends and gain interesting knowledge.
2. Buying school supplies together can often help overcome fear. Let your child choose the stationery, the backpack that he likes best. This will make your baby feel much more confident.
3. It is good practice to get to know the school, the future class, and the first teacher during the summer holidays. Let the baby see in advance what awaits him soon.
4. If you have the opportunity to choose between several schools (for example, there are three schools near us now, and two of them are very close) or you are given a choice of class, take your child where his friends in the kindergarten group go. To do this, it is necessary to discuss with the parents of the children who is going to enter and where.
5. Explain to your child that the negative experience of other children is not always an indication that your child will not be easy or intolerable there. Let him understand that every child builds his own life. And, even if there really are some difficulties, he will easily figure it out.
6. Preparatory classes may be held at the school. This will also allow the child to get acquainted with the children and the teacher in advance, while still not spending half a day at school every day.
7. Of course, it is desirable that the kid had previously attended kindergarten and already had experience of adaptation in the children's team. Read also about which ones.

How you can not behave

Many parents, when they hear about a child's refusal to go to school, take this unwillingness for laziness and therefore begin to reproach the child, force him to study, and sometimes punish him. Laziness is a fairly common reason for missing school lessons, but far from the only one. The child may be under severe stress, so the refusal to attend classes is associated with a protective reaction of the child's psyche.

Problems in elementary school

Children of different ages have their own interests and troubles in school. So, a first grader may be afraid of the unknown, a new teacher, children, responsibilities. A child at this age still does not quite understand why he needs to study, he does not know what awaits him there, and refusal to go to school may be a natural reaction to fear. After all, it is much better for a kid to do what he already knows and knows, for example, go to kindergarten or play at home. Parents in this situation need to calmly explain to the child what good he can get at school: there will be new friends, he will learn to write like adults, he will be able to read books quickly, he will no longer be considered a small child, but an adult schoolboy.

Sometimes a child has a similar reaction if he does not cope with the program, does not understand how to complete the lessons, and is upset because of poor grades. In this case, the parents need to help the child, explain to him how to complete the assignments, and ask the teacher to look closely at the child in the lesson, to be softer with him. Another common problem in elementary school is conflict between student and teacher or other students. The child may not like his teacher, especially if she is strict and demanding. Or he may have a quarrel with one of his classmates. All these problems can also be solved if you talk to the child and his friends or the teacher. As a last resort, you can transfer the baby to another.

Problems in middle and high school

If the child is doing well in the program in, he may think that it will be just as easy for him in the middle. And when faced with problems, the student is not always able to solve them on his own: there are much more subjects and all of them are more complicated, which means that the student can lag behind the program very quickly. A child's unfulfilled hopes can result in his refusal to go to school and do his homework. Of course, in this case, the parents themselves need to help the student as quickly as possible to make up for the program, otherwise he may never recover from his failures. Senior pupils, in turn, may be more interested not in school, but in communication with peers. In addition, they may be intimidated by the preparation for exams and the increased workload.

At this age, children enter puberty, their hormone levels increase, they can get tired more often, show aggression or apathy, hide their problems from their parents. But hushing up problems at school will only worsen the situation. Therefore, you need to immediately find out what is happening with the child, what worries him. If he refuses to go to school because of an argument, poor grades, test scores, or general fatigue, talk to your child and try to solve his difficulties together. Ultimately, there is nothing to worry about if the child stays at home for a few days, but his interest in studies and school should not completely disappear.

A child can be sent to school at the age of six, as well as at seven or even eight years. Admission to the first grade depends on the wishes of the parents and on the readiness of the child himself. Therefore, there cannot be a definite answer as to what age is better. It is necessary to carefully study the behavior of a particular preschooler.

Parents can determine readiness for school on their own or with the help of a psychologist. An experienced teacher, after just one conversation with the child and conducting the simplest tests, can say whether the preschooler is ready for classes or not yet. But the decision will still be made by the parents together with the baby. But it should be remembered that the child's words about what he wants to go to school cannot be decisive in the decision to send him at the age of 6, that is, a little earlier than the normal time. If you yourself are not sure that the character of the child has already developed enough, and the body has grown stronger, it is better to keep him in kindergarten until the full 7 years. Going to school at 8 years old is rather an exception to the rule, but it is also quite acceptable. At this age, children are sent to school who were born at the end of the year or flatly refused to enter a new educational institution on time.

Psychological readiness for school

School readiness is determined by two parameters - the level of psychological and physical development. The concept of psychological maturation includes preschooler motivation, it is subdivided into play, educational, social and achievement motivation. The best option, of course, would be that the child has educational motivation when he wants to go to school in order to explore the world, learn new things. In the case of achievement motivation, the child also wants to attend lessons, but the main reason for this is good grades, praise, awards, recognition. This is also a good form of aspiration, but it is sometimes unstable, since even one bad assessment or censure of the teacher can destroy it.

A child whose main form is social motivation will rush to school for new acquaintances and friends. Perhaps he will study well, wanting to attract the attention of a teacher or peers, but this is not for long. However, the most immature psychologically are children with play motivation. They come to school with toys, are scattered in the classroom, do not listen to the teacher's explanations, do not understand why they need to write something, count or do their homework. Of course, classes in are often carried out in a playful way, but it is still more learning and knowledge acquisition than a game. Therefore, these preschoolers need to be left in kindergarten for another year.

Physical readiness and intellectual level of the child

In addition, a psychologist, teacher or parents should pay attention to the readiness of the child's hand for writing, to identify his intellectual level, the degree of preparedness for the first lessons. To do this, observe the child, conduct a small test, ask him in a calm atmosphere, without raising his voice. In addition to asking if your kid wants to go to school, you can ask questions about what he will do there, who will study with him, why should he go to school. Observe how the child behaves in a group of strangers, whether he is withdrawn. Can he do something on his own for about 30-40 minutes, for example, drawing, quietly sitting in one place? Check if the kid can count to a hundred and solve simple problems, whether he knows all the letters, and whether he already reads well. Does the child know how to compose a coherent story from a picture of at least five sentences, does he know by heart several medium or long poems. Can he hold a pen and write simple shapes with it, is he good at using scissors and glue, does he make appliqués, does he paint pictures. It is also very important whether your child wants to study on his own or he constantly needs help.

Physical development of the body is no less important than psychological readiness. The body of the future schoolchild must acquire the features of an adult; in it, the features of the child's structure gradually fade into the background. In a school-age child, the waist, the arch of the foot, the joints on the fingers are formed, and the teeth begin to change. Physically ready children know how to undress and dress on their own, button up, tie shoelaces, climb the stairs alternately with both feet.

Preschool crisis

If the child meets most of these points, has solid knowledge and good skills on them, he is ready for school. However, it is important for parents to remember that it is at the age of 6-7 that the child begins an age crisis, when the child ceases to perceive the world as a preschooler, only through a playful form of behavior, but does not yet know how to learn to see and recognize it differently. Therefore, at this age, mood swings, whims of a child, unreasonable stubbornness, crying are possible. Adults may mistake this behavior for rebellion, a manifestation of bad parenting, but it is not. A child at this age needs help and support, since he does not understand himself and cannot explain anything to his parents. And school adds an extra reason for stress. Therefore, older preschoolers and younger students need to be treated carefully, give them time to adapt to new conditions, get used to it.