When can you leave your child?

A small child urgently needs his mother's presence. Separation from mom for more than a few hours becomes a real test for babies up to 8 months old. At this age, it is undesirable to leave a child for the whole day, even with a person he knows well.

The baby is attached to his parents and in their absence begins to experience anxiety, fearing that they have left and will not return. But what to do if mom and dad still need to go away - for work or at sea - for a day or several? When can you leave your child, with whom and under what circumstances?

Is it possible to leave the child?

Children can experience the absence of their mother in different ways, depending on their character, age, and attachment to their parents. Therefore, it is impossible to name the exact age from which a child can be left in the care of a grandmother or nanny from one year to 7 years. But you can understand for yourself how ready the baby is to let you go by observing the child’s behavior.

When children are left with a relative or a nanny for several hours, they may burst into tears when they realize that their mother is not around. Child psychologists explain that such a reaction is absolutely normal for preschool children.

Healthy or painful attachment

It is very important how your child greets you after returning. If he rejoices and smiles at his mother’s arrival, jumps into his arms, and tells how he spent his time, this means that he has formed a healthy attachment. That is, the baby becomes independent and can be left with relatives.

The reaction can also be negative: even when the mother returns, the child ignores her arrival and begins to take revenge - by being rude, biting or pinching. These are sure signs that the baby is not yet ready to be left without his mother.

Try to build a trusting relationship with the baby and understand what the reason for his fears is. Perhaps you are too protective of the child or, conversely, too strict in matters of upbringing, so the baby experiences anxiety.

Who should I leave the child with?

If you are forced to part with your child for a long time (several days), you need to keep him in his familiar environment - this will help reduce stress.

The person with whom you want to leave the child should also be well known to the baby. It is advisable that this be a relative who lives with you (grandmother, grandfather, aunt), or a person with whom the baby was alone many times, and the time spent together brought positive emotions.

Important Terms

1. If you leave, it is advisable to stay in touch so that your child can communicate with you via telephone or the Internet.

2. You should not leave your baby for long if you are breastfeeding or have stopped breastfeeding less than two months ago.

3. A child can be left with his grandmother if he is over 1.5 years old. Otherwise, parting with your mother is perceived as very painful, so it is better to postpone departure.

4. Another turning point is the three-year crisis; at this time, also try not to be separated from your child for a long time.

5. You should not leave without your baby if his behavior changes greatly in your absence - he shows aggression or, conversely, sits quietly in the corner, not wanting to be distracted by attempts to entertain him.

The question of when it is possible to leave a child is very individual, and the answer to it depends on the child’s psychological readiness to let go of his parents.Sometimes mothers themselves are so attached to their children that even the thought of parting for a day seems like a crime. However, you will not be able to care for the baby around the clock; in addition, separation from the baby can also be useful and will help the baby to be more independent. For the child, this is an opportunity to spend more time with family, and for you, it is an opportunity to relax and escape from everyday worries.

Prepared by Katerina Vasilenkova