A way out of a difficult situation. How to get out of any difficult situation

16.10.2019

Characteristics of the hero from the comedy "Minor" D

Pyotr Andreevich Grinev, the main character of the story

The image and characteristics of svidrigailov in the novel crime and punishment dostoevsky composition

The image and characteristics of Mitrofanushka in Fonvizin's "The Minor": the description of Mitrofan Prostakov

From time to time we are faced with situations and circumstances that seem to us to be either intractable, or insoluble at all.

In such cases, desperate to find a way out of this situation, we especially urgently need an objective and sober look from the outside. But where to find it, is this an interested and thoughtful opinion? Where can we find a truly wise person who, in difficult times, will help us this only path, Ariadne's thread, and tell us how to break out of the vicious circle?

We very often entrust this important decision to our relatives or friends. This has its advantages. First, we certainly trust them. Secondly, one can hope that their "outside view" will be more accurate in assessing the situation. And thirdly, we simply do not know who else to turn to for help. The disadvantages of such a solution are also obvious: it is unlikely that the solution of your loved ones will be the best - if only because they do not know the full depth of the problem, all its shades and nuances. This is known only to you. But then what to do in such cases ?!

There is an exit. And the most amazing thing is that you know him. You know how to solve the most difficult problem, how to find a way out of the most difficult and confusing situation. There is a solution. And if you find it hard to believe, then think about how you are looking for keys that were not in their usual place. You know they are at home. You know for sure that they are lying somewhere. It is also obvious to you that sooner or later you will find them. But where are they?

In order to find a solution to a problem that defies the most desperate logic, we it is necessary to go a paradoxical way: to make it look as if the problem has a solution, as in school textbooks on physics and algebra all the answers to the problems are given. You only need to find the relevant pages that contain all these solutions and select the actual answer. And in order to find these pages with answers to all our questions, we need the so-called technique of a wise man: a psychological exercise that will allow us to reduce the search for solutions to the most difficult everyday problems to a minimum.

The wise man's technique is performed just once, and after that you get answers to any of the most difficult questions of life arrangement. However, for this to really happen, the technique must be carried out very thoroughly and seriously. It lies in the fact that you create in your imagination the image of a wise person who helps you solve all your problems. This image further accompanies you as a talisman. It will look like a genie, which you can call from the bottle in difficult times. And he will always come to your aid as soon as you ask him about it.

How a wise person is created? A person's imagination is so strong that he is able to come up with almost everything that one can imagine. If you want to imagine for a minute what a pink Christmas tree will look like, then you can do it. You can easily create the pictures and images you want. You can also remember and play the sounds of your favorite tunes, hum their motive to yourself. You can hear a voice: male or female, loud or quiet, high or low. If you want, you can see the picture and hear how it might sound: for example, a ball that bounces on the floor not only has a certain color and shape, but also makes some sound when it bounces off the floor. We do all this thousands of times every day: imagine pictures, hear voices, and even see full-color films with our own participation.

In order to create a wise person, you need exactly the ability to see with your inner eye and hear with your inner ear that you have. You do not need anything supernatural and amazing imagination. Wisdom, as a rule, is measured, smoothness and calmness in everything. However, if your wise man is dressed in orange-colored jeans and his hair is dyed viscous blue, then I will not be at all surprised. Because your wise person can be anything. He can be beardless or beardless, it can be a woman or a man. This person may be aged or, on the contrary, very young. If only he satisfies one important rule: the appearance of this person fully corresponds to your idea of wisdom and enlightenment.

It may take you a while to create a wise person. Do not spare it, it will bring you great benefits, which can then be calculated for months and years, if it comes to the time that we spend in search of this or that solution. It is best if at this time no one bothers you, and you can be alone with yourself, alone with your wise person. If you find such an opportunity, you can start performing the technique.

Step number one. You will need a pen and a piece of paper. Prepare all of this, and then try to relax. You don't have to do anything, you can sit quietly in a chair or even lie down. You will need to remember something from your past experiences, and it will be easy, since you will have to remember pleasant things. Please remember a few times in your life when you found a way out of this difficult situation. They can be anything, take the most obvious ones that come to your mind. How did you feel in those moments when you broke the vicious circle, when the situation was safely resolved? Also talk to yourself about your role and merit: what exactly did you come up with in order for everything to fall into place? As soon as you remember this and say it, mentally put a tick or cross, as people do, winding a thread around their hand or drawing signs in their palm to remember - and follow on, to another case with a similar result. Your task is to remember five (as many as possible) such cases and mentally put crosses: they say, we remembered, we remember. Once you're done, write it all down on a piece of paper. Formulate something like this: "I did this and that, and my problem such and such was successfully resolved." Or: "I came up with this and that, and after that everything fell into place."

Step two. There are different types of wise people and they can be very different for each person. Some are convinced by the beard, some by horn-rimmed glasses. The mind can emphasize certain clothes, age, or the presence of some details. Knowing this, fantasize about what he is - your wise man? What would he look like if you met him? How would he be dressed? Perhaps he even reminds you of someone? How would his voice sound? Imagine boldly, freely, listen to your feelings. You can make notes on a piece of paper, fixing its most important features or qualities. You can draw it if you can draw at least a little. You should also determine the meeting place for your wise person. Perhaps it will be a quiet darkened office, or a hot desert, or an autumn forest. If you cannot imagine something, then just think about how it would look if you knew how to do it. Thank God it's easy to think about how people or things might look. It's easy to think about what your wise person would look like.

At the end of the second step, you will have a complete picture of your wise person. You will also know the place of your meeting with him: a place that you can always either imagine or think of him so that it fills your attention. You can also describe a wise person on paper. Do not feel sorry for words, describe it in as much detail as possible.

Step three. After you can represent your wise man whenever you need it (just close your eyes and go to him, or let him come to you, or he will just appear in front of you as soon as you think about it), go back to your list of those things and situations in which you found a good solution and got out safely, and add another such situation to this list. It will be easy, since we find a lot of similar solutions in our life. Repeat everything in exactly the same way: remember what a good solution you came up with, how you felt right after the situation was discharged, put a mental cross, as in previous cases, and then add this case to the list.

Step four. After completing step number three, try to relax again: sit back or lie down. Close your eyes and think about the difficult situation that exists in the present tense. Concentrate on it for a minute, that will be enough. After that, meet with your wise man, and as soon as he appears in front of you, ask him one question: what should you do in this situation?

As soon as you ask your wise person a question, you will instantly receive an answer. It can be of any property: a memory, an image, a picture, a voice, a phrase, and any other. Think about what you got. You can write it down, draw it, or say it out loud. You have received some important information that contains the answer to your question. You just have to understand what the wise man wanted to say by telling you this information.

In the future, when you meet again with a wise person, you can agree with him about ways to exchange information. You can find out his name, and for this you just need to ask him about it. You can also hear his voice, and then, asking your questions, you just have to listen to what he has to say. It may be so that when you meet you do not hear a voice, but then you have thoughts that answer your questions. These are the answers of your wise man. Remember to thank him for meeting you and trying to help you.

There are no restrictions on meeting a wise person. You can contact him for help at any time you see fit. After each meeting with him, also pay attention to the dream that you had. In a dream, you can receive very important information that will help you make the right decision. Good luck to you! And thanks to your wise man, with whom you will meet in the very near future. Thanks to him for listening to all this carefully.

Vit Tsenev

< Техника «Разговор с ребенком»
Four Techniques - How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts>

An example of how to get out of a hopeless situation! A way out of a hopeless situation, where is he? Is there a way out in a hopeless situation? Many people and you, including when it seemed to you, fell into a hopeless situation, but then they found a solution and everything was resolved. The most important thing is not to succumb to panic, it is inside us and does not allow us to concentrate and relax in order to soberly assess the situation. This article was prompted by today's morning call from a woman who is a subscriber and reader of the legal blog “RAA Law”. She spoke about her difficult situation and we agreed that she would send me copies of some of the documents.

The reason for the call was my phrase that I used on the blog information page. This phrase shook the person to action and gave hope for a way out of her desperate situation.

What is the law?
The law is the described situation from the point of view of the law itself. If you change this situation in one direction or another, then the law will turn in one direction or another. Remember: - in a hopeless situation there is a way out to another situation, and whether it will be favorable for you depends on how you prepare for it.

I thought for a long time about writing an article, such as a cheat sheet or instructions for getting out of desperate situations. But then I decided that I’d just tell you my story (there are many stories, but I’ll tell you only one).

Several years ago, my wife and I collected the necessary documents and submitted them for participation in the program for a young family. Then this program was just beginning, or it was already a year since it was launched, but that is not the point. Literally a year or a year and a half later, I was passing by this office, where we submitted documents. I decided to look in and ask what my line is, because everyone is promised a certificate for a certain amount of money, depending on the number of people. In my case, it was about four hundred thousand. Imagine such an amount for free from the state. Of course, of course there is no freebie and there never was. In each program, and even more so in the state, there are very cruel conditions and terms. In my case, everything was so. I will not procrastinate words, but get to the point. I didn’t meet the deadline and didn’t apply for the apartment I was supposed to buy. As a result, those who did not use the certificate for a young family lost it in due time. Naturally, I have a panic, as I think so. What should I do now, and I don't want to lose money at all.

Here is a hopeless situation in which I found myself. And if you want to know how I found a way out of their desperate situation, then read on ...

At first I puzzled over a solution to this problem, then my head ached. Since I have been engaged in real estate for more than 6 years, and in this area there is one positive point: it is better to agree than to suffer. Taking advantage of this rule, so to speak, I went back to this office. Explaining my situation that I just missed the deadline and now I'm afraid of losing the certificate for a young family (and you want to know how you can cash out the certificate). Together with one woman, we found a solution, or rather she suggested it to me.

What way out of the hopeless situation was suggested to me?

Arriving home, I took a certificate for a young family and put it under the stream of water, wetting it a little, and the paper is thick, so it doesn't get wet right away. Then he rubbed this place with his finger so that the text and quality disappeared in one place (the place can be any).

Then he wrote a statement that when he came home he found a leak from the ceiling. As a result, the water got onto the table where the certificate for a young family lay. Then he took the written application and the certificate to the office. There they accepted everything from me and after a while they issued a new certificate with an extended period for one more term. As if I had just received a certificate for a young family.

After that, I used the certificate for the young family program.

So the waters ladies and gentlemen, it seemed like a hopeless situation, but it turns out there is a way out and I got it where the entrance is approximately.

And in what desperate situations did you find yourself, and how did you find a way out of the desperate situation? It will be very interesting for me, like many others who will find themselves on this page, where there is a way out of a hopeless situation.

Instructions

Get rid of the victim complex. If you tend to blame everyone and everything for your own failures, then it is worth learning to take responsibility for your own life. The realization that only you can change it, independently choose the path along which you will go further, make the only right decision, will help get rid of the psychological fetters that make you believe in your own helplessness and hostility of the world around you.

Take a break. Unpleasant news and events can unsettle you for a long time. Panic, nervousness, irritation are unlikely to help you make the right decision. Don't jump to conclusions, give yourself time to "reboot". Walk down the street, have a cup of coffee or tea, eat a piece of chocolate - before you act, help yourself to calm down and relax a little.

Find out the source of the negativity. Try to be more accurate in describing your feelings. Resentment? Anger? Fear of the unknown? These emotions are not constructive, and only interfere with adequately perceiving the situation. In any situation, remember that everything goes away. And in a month or a year, today's difficulties will seem just everyday troubles.

Understand the situation. Arm yourself with a pen and paper, it is easier to structure thoughts on a sheet than in your own head. First, describe your situation. Then - write down what the worst outcome might be. Try to come to terms with him. In most cases, the realization of even the worst scenario is better than the unknown. Now write down on paper which result will be most optimal for you. Once you've decided on this point, create an action plan that will help you achieve a favorable outcome.

If the situation is such that you cannot predict its development, try, having outlined the likely scenarios and accepting them, just go with the flow. To distract yourself from sad thoughts, do what you love or allow yourself to rest. Remember that every difficult situation gives you an invaluable life experience.

Tip 3: How to Maintain Optimism in a Difficult Life Situation

It can be difficult to maintain the positive in difficult life circumstances. When circumstances do not develop in the best way, you need to find the strength in yourself to remain optimistic. There are several easy ways to do this. Work on yourself and don't give up.

Highlight accents

Try to focus not on the negative aspects, but on the positive aspects. No matter how difficult the situation you are, there are probably at least some pleasant moments during the day that you should think about before going to bed.

When you focus only on the bad, you stop seeing reasons for joy. If you shift your focus to more optimistic moments, it will become easier to stay positive.

Remember what you have in life. Health, home, family, work, friends, pets, or hobbies are all your wealth. Do not forget to thank life for giving you these benefits.

Create a mood

You can influence your own mood through books or films. Avoid watching the news and heavy movies during difficult times in your life. Give preference to comedy. Read inspirational or relaxing literature, such as detective stories, humorous stories, or fantasy stories. Depressive romances and crime reports will only add to your stress.

Little joys will make your life more pleasant and give you an extra reason to smile. Physical comfort, delicious food, pleasant pastime, relaxing massage, walks will help you maintain an optimistic mood.

Choose your environment

Be careful about what kind of people are around you for most of the day. Your environment affects your life in general and your attitude in particular. When you communicate a lot with optimistic, cheerful people, you get a positive charge. Conversely, spending time with negative individuals, you yourself can begin to complain, criticize, whine and see everything in dark shades.

Take action

Do your best to resolve a difficult situation. Do not give up, but work to get out of the predicament. Do your best, and you will have a reason to be proud of yourself, which means to be in a good mood. When a person does not realize his own potential and gives up, he already feels unhappy because of this.

In addition, thanks to your efforts, a difficult situation may soon change for the better. Then there will be no cause for concern.

Get rid of the negativity

Watch your words and thoughts. Do not let them show negativity. This is especially true of self-criticism. Remember to love yourself, not blame yourself. Think about your accomplishments and strengths. Praise and cheer yourself up. Then it will be easier for you to overcome all the difficult moments on the path of life.

Whoever you are and no matter what you have achieved, trouble can always happen, and it will seem to you that life will never get better. However, remember that the main thing is your attitude, and here's how you can change it.

Zen Buddhist and Harvard professor Robert Waldinger, who leads the research on adult development, has followed 724 men for 75 years to understand what makes our lives happy.

It turns out that the basis of happiness is community inclusion and healthy relationships. To feel happy, you need to live surrounded by people who are ready to help.

Here are six ways to deal with the intense emotions that often come with life's challenges. Sometimes they do not help directly solve the problem, but they provide clarity of the view, and this is already a lot. Regardless of the outcome, your decisions will not be the result of fear - they will be reasonable.

1. Stop negative self-talk

First and foremost, limiting misconceptions need to be cast aside, but it is equally important to end negative self-talk by asking yourself:

What facts are available for and against me?
Am I based on facts or my own interpretations?
Perhaps I am making hasty negative conclusions?
How do I know if my thoughts are correct?
Is there another way of looking at this situation?
Is the situation really as dire as it seems to me?
Does this mindset help me achieve my goals?

Sometimes it is enough to admit that you are indulging in self-deprecation in order to look at the problem from a different angle.

2. Don't lose perspective

Your problem today in the context of your whole life is a mere trifle, it does not define you as a person, it is not a reflection of your entire history, your strengths and achievements.

We often see only what is right in front of us, forgetting about all past positive experiences. Maintain a holistic lifestyle in your head and ask yourself:

What's the worst that could happen? Is this likely?
And at the best?
What is most likely to happen?
What significance will this have in five years?
Perhaps I am attaching too much importance to this issue?

3. Learn from your reactions

“There is a gap between the stimulus and the reaction, in this gap we have the freedom to choose our reaction. Our development and happiness depend on this choice, ”- Viktor Frankl.

How do you react to the problem? What advice would you give your best friend in this situation? At any moment, we can completely control our reaction to any stimulus, and today psychology knows five ways to improve control over the reaction in a difficult situation:

Think about the kind of person you would like to become.
Think about the meaning and origin of your reactions
Observe the results of your actions
Imagine the best answer
Learn to treat yourself with compassion

4. Learn from the reactions of the opposite side

Scientists at Harvard have shown that using empathy in disagreement is essential to resolving conflict and is a critical prerequisite for a successful negotiation.

5. Assess the situation from the perspective of an outside observer

If you are an observer, then you can go beyond the situation, drop emotions and follow your reaction.

With this level of self-awareness, even when you are in the center of the conflict, you are aware of yourself and you can separate your personality from the situation.

6. Seek outside help

In any situation where your own experience is not enough, seek wise advice. Suppress your ego and ask for critical eye and constructive feedback, and once you've done it, help others learn from your experience.

Remember that you and your problem are not one. The problem is just one aspect of your journey, and it is also a source of growth. Don't run away from challenges, because they make us better. And when it seems that everything is gone, remember: this too will pass.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova

Ecology of life: Each of us has heard this phrase many, many times - “a hopeless situation”. Usually, in such cases, we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.

Each of us has heard this phrase many, many times - “a hopeless situation”. Usually, in such cases, we are talking about something very unpleasant, which, as it seems, cannot be avoided.By itself, a "hopeless situation" is extremely convenient: here is a "hopeless" situation - that's all, and nothing can be done about it. She is like this, she is “hopeless”, and I, good, white and fluffy, have nothing to do with it.

There are no questions, sometimes it really happens, however, even in this case, it does not at all follow from this that you are freeing yourself from the elimination of the consequences of the ill-fated "hopeless situation", and perhaps the prerequisites for such. Finallyit turns out that your "hopeless situation": firstly, not so hopeless, and secondly, it largely depends on you. Ilya Pozhidaevspecially for suggests considering this issue using more or less typical examples ...

Imagine a situation: a new management came to the firm where you work - and announced a massive "layoff" of a number of employees, and among the unfortunate "layoffs" - you. Write "your own way" - and get out of the firm.

The first reaction is, of course, shock and a sense of hopelessness. But then you can pull yourself together and understand what is really going on. If the new bosses are nevertheless at least minimally adequate, then you can talk to him about what you can agree on with him. You look, everything will be settled. You will remain, and without squabbles and scandals.

If, however, a newly-minted, crazed leader directly in your eyes declares that someone's son (for example, his) is planned for your place, but you still need this office, scare your new boss prosecutor's office, labor inspectorate and something else like that. Moreover, if you are a punctual and efficient employee without any complaints.The boss will be terribly scared and will leave you behind, the guarantee is 146%. And the situation, which at first glance seems fatally insoluble, is actually very solvable, and in a way that is beneficial to you.

Consider a hypothetical second “hopeless” example — betrayal. It doesn't matter whose: wife, mistress, friend, relative, business partner, someone else. And it doesn't matter what exactly this betrayal was expressed in. There is simply a given: you are faced with the meanness and injustice of someone who is not a stranger to you.

A seemingly hopeless situation, incorrigible, etc. etc. But… First, this is a good lesson: in people you need to be at least a little more discriminating. Secondly, this is, perhaps, a chance to finally get rid of people who are not quite suitable or even not at all suitable for you. Or maybe this thirdly, you did something wrong- then just understand that - and try not to do this in relations with people in the future.

The third hypothetical "hopeless" example - you have been robbed or robbed. As you yourself understand, the likelihood that the valiant law enforcement agencies themselves will find the criminal, to put it mildly, is small. Stupor gives way to panic, panic smoothly turns into hysteria. They stole a million. It would seem a complete impasse. But no!

First, it depends on you whether you will stir up the relevant competent law enforcement agency or not (believe me, they are afraid of complaints to the prosecutor's office!). Secondly, when the thief is found (and with the competent work of the authorities, provided, among other things, by you, the villain will certainly be found), you can demand the money stolen from you from the thief. A little more activity - and it turns out that the situation again has a more or less favorable way out.

In principle, you can continue indefinitely. The general meaning is this: if you understand the ins and outs of the emerging "unsolvable" situation, especially the reasons for the emergence of such, and at the same time competently and actively act yourself in a constructive way - the impossible turns out to be little.

Indeed, there is only one totally and obviously hopeless situation - death, including violent (although in some cases it also depends on you whether to wander through the dark alleys or not). Well, sometimes there are still other, extremely few, processes that develop according to some of their own internal logic and, accordingly, do not depend on us at all. To declare that in general everything is in our hands is probably still somewhat presumptuous.

It will be interesting for you:

But in general, there is a way out that is acceptable for you in 99% of cases, no matter how catastrophic the problem seems to you. But even if the development of events stubbornly bumps into the same ill-fated 1%, - all the same, if you wish, even from it, you can extract a share of positive. At least in the form of life experience.And, for God's sake, do not rush to declare the situation "hopeless": there are actually very, very few "hopeless situations"!