Funny jokes for children. Funny and funny jokes about children and for children Children's jokes about Vovochka, funny jokes for children

Everyone loves to read and listen to jokes - not only adults, but also children. Therefore, today we have selected the funniest children's jokes for the age of 10-12 years, which you can read with your children, or tell them to them.

Children's jokes are the funniest

Two boys meet on the street. One reports the news:
- I just had a bad tooth pulled out.
- Well, does he still hurt?
- I do not know.
- How can you not know?
- And the doctor has a tooth.

The father says to his daughter:
- I would not dare to lie like that at your age!
- At what age did you start?

One boy says to another:
- My dad is very good.
- Are you telling me this?
- You.
- Last year he was my dad.

Son to father:
- Dad, when you were in school, were you in the same class with Serega's father?
- Yes.
- It can't be!
- Why?
- Because he also claims to be the best student in the class.

The teacher scolds the student:
- You came again without a pen ?! I wonder what you would say if you saw a soldier who showed up for an exercise without a weapon?
- I would say that he probably became a general.

The funniest jokes for children 10-12 years old

- Boy, not a hooligan, otherwise your dad will grow gray hair!
- My dad will be very happy, he is completely bald!

- Ivanov, who did your homework for you: dad or mom?
“I don’t know, I was already asleep.

Schoolchildren think that it is better to study at the institute, but only students know what is best in kindergarten!

Hedgehog learned to breathe booty. The Fox walks by, the Hedgehog to her and says:
- Fox, and Fox, strangle me!
The fox choked, choked - could not choke.
The Bear walks by, the Hedgehog says to him:
- Bear, and Bear, strangle me!
The bear choked-choked - could not choke.
The Hedgehog walked like this all day through the forest, and no one could strangle him. Tired Hedgehog, sat down on a tree stump and suffocated.

On the test, the teacher closely monitors the students and, at times, kicks out those with spurs. The director looks into the classroom.
- Are you writing a test? There are probably a lot of cheaters here.
Teacher:
- No, amateurs are already in the corridor, only professionals are left.

Children's jokes about Vovochka

In a biology class in the classroom, the teacher says:
- The pistil and stamen of flowers are reproductive organs.
Little Johnny from the back, sorry:
- Damn it, but I smell them ...

The teacher enters the class and asks Little Johnny:
- And where is Seryozha?
- He's not there, we played, who will stick out the window further ... Well, so he won.

Vova, what kind deed have you done today?
- And I saw off my father and saw how the uncle was running after the departing train. So I let go of my dog, Pit Bull Rex, and my uncle caught the train.

At school:
- Well done, Nikita, solid five, give me a diary!
- Oh, I think I forgot it at home ...
- Take mine! - Little Johnny whispers.

- Little Johnny, let's say you have 100 rubles. You asked your father for another 100 rubles. How much money will you have in total?
- 100 rubles, Mary Ivanna.
- It's bad, Little Johnny, you don't know mathematics at all!
- And you, Mary Ivanna, do not know my father at all!

Jokes for children are short funny stories. Usually do not have an author, belong to the folklore genre.

Children love jokes as much as adults. Children's jokes about school allow you to joke about what makes you sad. School jokes make fun of lazy students, angry teachers, indifferent parents, etc.

Jokes can have a wide variety of topics, covering all aspects of life. Sometimes funny phrases said by children become anecdotes.

Laughter when reading or listening to an anecdote causes an unexpected denouement, a play on words, the replacement of the usual meaning of concepts with a new one. Humor, wit are very useful qualities that require development no less than logic or creativity. This genre also has negative sides: the presence of profanity in some anecdotes, vulgarity, etc.

Do you need funny stories

Laughter improves the mood of children and, according to scientists, prolongs the life of adults. So that the child does not need to listen to vulgar street jokes, tell him good ones. Let him have magazines or books with different anecdotes that he can read. In a children's environment, a sense of humor is appreciated, a witty storyteller becomes the soul of the company.

If the child can joke about their shortcomings, they will be less stressed. The main thing in the anecdotes is the possibility of freedom of expression, humor ridiculing shortcomings and vices, a different view of problems.

Jokes may be incomprehensible. The reason for this is differences in nationality, age or other personal characteristics. Therefore, children's jokes are different from adults. What can make a kid laugh may be incomprehensible to an adult and vice versa.

About school

In a mathematics lesson, the teacher asks the student who is telling the Pythagorean Theorem at the blackboard to prove it. To which he offendedly declares: "What evidence, you do not believe me?"

On September 1, 1, 6 million first-graders sat down at their desks on charges of illiteracy for at least 9 years.

In a geography lesson in grade 7, a teacher tries to explain to a student how to determine the cardinal directions using a compass. “Look, when the arrow is pointing up, it’s north, then there’s west to your left and east to your right, tell me what’s behind you?” A student blushing: "A hole in your pants?"

About children

At the reception at the clinic, a child psychologist asks the child questions:

• Tell me, how many legs does a cat have?
• Four.
• How many ears?
• How many eyes?

The kid turns to his mother and asks: "Mom, uncle, what have you ever seen a cat?"

About kindergarten

A little girl comes home from kindergarten and says that the teacher read them a fairy tale "About Little Red Riding Hood". "What did you understand from this tale?" Mom asks. “I have to better remember my grandmother’s face so as not to confuse her with a wolf,” the girl replies.

At a meeting in the nursery group of the kindergarten, the young teacher conducts pedagogical work with the parents:

• Dear parents, your children have learned to speak this year, if they start telling you something bad about the kindergarten, do not believe them. We, in turn, promise not to believe the horrors they tell about you.

A tired father comes to kindergarten for his son. The teacher sees him for the first time, and therefore asks:

• Which child should I give you?
• What difference does it make if you bring again tomorrow morning!

Unlucky parent answers.

The head of the kindergarten complains to the head of the military unit that after the repairs carried out by the soldiers, the children have learned many words from profanity. The chief calls the soldiers to his place and asks to explain what the matter is. Soldier Sidorov with a bandaged head explains:

• Petrov stood on a stepladder, laying eight bricks in the hole in the ceiling. The solution turned out to be weak, and all the bricks fell on my head. I told Petrov: "What a bad person you are, Petrov, you do not respect your comrade!"

About animals

Two fish are talking in the pond. One carp says: "How tired I am of living in this cramped, dirty pond!" Another carp answers him: "And you grab the hook and soon you will find yourself in sour cream!"

Computer jokes

The cactus, which has been standing near the computer monitor for 6 years, has learned to reinstall Windows.

Short jokes

Minibus inscriptions:

"Stop" here "on a different route";

“If no one gives way to the old woman, I, your driver, will do it”;

"If you want to live long, don't distract the driver!"

About Pinocchio

Buratino's pedigree was rooted in the earth.

About Vovochka

Little Johnny says to his father at dinner:

• Dad, they call you back to school, I broke the window.
• Yes, yours is not a school, but some kind of greenhouse.

Fabulous jokes

The kid climbed on Carlson, and they fly over the city, making ten circles. After landing on the roof, Carlson wipes his neck and says: "Huh, I'm sweating with you!" “It’s me with you,” the baby replies.

A casual passer-by saw a hut on chicken legs in the forest and said:

• Hut, hut, turn the forest to me, and in front of the rear!
• You put me in a difficult position with your philological delights of new idioms.
• This is approximately what I wanted to say.

Cheburashka, standing in the wind, was brutally beaten with his ears.

Gena and Cheburashka went on vacation. Crocodile Gena drags 6 suitcases from the station, drenched in sweat. Cheburashka runs next and shouts:

• Gena, and Gena, let me take the suitcases!
• And you take me!

About adults and children

Auntie asks her six-year-old niece:

• Anya, do you help your mom around the house?
• Of course, I help, I count the silver spoons after you leave.

A little boy asks his father:

• Dad, I want a real gun!
• You already have a toy.
• Dad, I want a real one!
• Quiet, I said! Who is the head in this house?
• You are a daddy, but if I had a gun ...

Mom shouts from the balcony to her son playing in the yard with friends:

• Vanya, go home!

7-year-old Vanechka asks:

• Mom, am I cold?
• No, it's time for you to eat!

About pets

The mouse runs away from the cat and hides in a burrow, having lost the stolen cheese along the way. Sits quietly, and suddenly hears a dog barking. “So the cat has run away, you can take the cheese,” the mouse thinks. As soon as she protrudes out of the burrow, the cat grabs her. "How good is it to be able to speak a foreign language!" the cat thinks.

Other topics

Announcement on the fence of the city zoo:

• Dear visitors, due to insufficient funding from the city budget for this year, the animals have nothing to eat! We invite you to the open day, which will take place from 9 o'clock on the 6th, 8th and 9th of this month! You will get an unforgettable experience and incredible sensations!

According to statistics, the most understandable language on the planet is Chinese. Every 6th person speaks it.

From a conversation between two friends:

• Have you read that scientists have made a discovery - nine seconds of laughter prolongs life by 10 minutes, which means that if you laugh all the time, you will never die?
• Yes, only everyone will consider you insane.

Childhood is the most fun and carefree time of a person, which you often remember later in the future. In childhood, there are many funny and ridiculous stories that are pleasant to sort through in memory after a while. This is confirmed by numerous jokes about children, in which small personalities try to be like adults, although this is not possible for them.

Funny jokes about children also tell the adventures of children and adults who inadvertently get involved in children's pranks and look pretty silly. Nevertheless, the funniest jokes about children cannot do without adults. Children may well do something incredible themselves, but with the help of an adult, any childish prank is transformed into an unusually funny story that will be remembered for a lifetime.

The specificity of the genres of some jokes is so narrow that it is impossible to break out of it in any way. Take, for example, office work demotivators. Pictures will tell only about the cool details of working in the office and that's it. Nothing more can be added. Very funny jokes about children and parents are not enveloped in certain frames, since completely different situations can happen to them. And although jokes about children belong to a certain humorous genre, its boundaries are much wider than one can imagine.

Recently, the number of small anecdotes consisting of several sentences has increased. also evoke a lot of violent emotions, and besides, they are much simpler and brighter than long stories. In such funny anecdotes about children, events unfold much faster, and there is no need to memorize many names of heroes. Therefore, short anecdotes about children can be compared with funny anecdotes about doctors, where the set of characters is also minimal. That's why the funniest jokes about children consist of several sentences that can bring any reader to tears.

You can find very funny anecdotes to tears about children on the vastness of our site. Here you can read jokes about children every day, enjoying new jokes and jokes. Here you will find funny cartoons about work, witty sayings of great thinkers and many other humorous sections, including funny anecdotes about children.

They will always be distinguished by the brevity and purity of the main characters, striving to be like adults with might and main. You can find funny anecdotes to tears about children thanks to the search system of our site, which, with the help of convenient filtering, will sort out the style of humor that you need at the moment.

Jokes for children 9,10,11,12 years old are very funny, short and not very long, which will be fun to read!

I used to lead an active lifestyle - I played football and hockey, tennis, basketball. But the computer broke down ...

Conversation between two men:
-Does your watch run correctly?
- I have them on our hand!

Did you know that the true Lord of the Rings works at the registry office?

What is man's best four-legged friend?
- Armchair!

Slow people have been compared to turtles, but there have been no reported cases of a tortoise being late somewhere.

My new Chinese phone works like a clock. But at the same time, like a telephone, it does not work ...

Mom and son at the entrance to the zoo, son: Mom, mom, look monkey! - No, my son is the cashier's aunt.

Teacher: List me four pets
- A dog, and three puppies - Cheerfully replies Petrov.

A happy hedgehog and a pensive hare are walking along the forest path. The hare asks:
- Hedgehog, why are you constantly laughing?
- The weed of the heel tickles.

- "Ivanov, who did the homework: dad or mom?"
- "I don't know, I was already asleep"

What to do when you fall in love at first sight?
Look closely a second time ...

- Angelina, why do you drink so much water? The mother asks.
- Because I ate an apple, and forgot to wash my hands before eating.

In a mental hospital, the patient says:
- I'm Napoleon.
- Why do you think so? The doctor asks.
- God told me.
Another ward indignantly intervenes in the conversation:
- No, I didn't.

The father explains to his three-year-old son:
- No, this is not a horse with antennae, but a deer!

The girl takes a driving test. Sits in the car, the instructor says:
- You don't come through.
- But why? After all, I just got into the car!
Instructor:
- Yes, they sat down, only in the back seat.

Mom, I am so lucky at school today.
- Why?
- the teacher wanted to put me in a corner, but all corners were taken.

A conversation between two fishermen:
- Yesterday I caught a goldfish ..
- That's lucky! What wishes did you make?
- I had to choose from two desires: to become the most beautiful, or to have a good memory.
- And what did you choose?
- I do not remember …

- Tell me, please, is this cake fresh?
- Of course, see the production date January 1!
- But today is only December 30! - the buyer is surprised.
- You are very lucky with this cake from the future!

- Does your dog like children?
Yes, but more dog food.

There is a lesson at school, teacher:
- Children who consider themselves stupid stand up!
Several minutes pass, Nikita gets up.
teacher:
- Nikita, do you consider yourself stupid?
- No ... it's just uncomfortable that you are standing alone ...

In the lesson, the teacher instructed the children to draw grazing cows on a green field. Vasily brought a blank sheet of paper. the teacher asks:
- Why didn't Vassenka draw the green grass?
- The cow ate the grass
- Where is the cow?
- Well, what can a cow do there if there is no green grass?

Useful phone numbers:
the roof is on fire - 01
no roof - 02
the roof has gone - 03 Or one common room 112

The son asks the banker-father:
- Dad, you have a bank and the money in your bank belongs to clients?
- Yes.
- Then where does the villa, yacht, my private school and everything else come from?
- Let me explain ... Bring me a large piece of bacon from the refrigerator
Son brings, father
- Now, take it back.
- Well, I took it, and what?
- Show me your hands, you see on your palms and there is fat on your fingers ...

Looking for some funny joke for kids? Then come to us: Humor, jokes for children 10 years old are very funny, short funny.

The little girl was left with her grandmother. In the morning, the child pesters grandma: Baba, pray and repent! Well, woman, well, pray and repent! The grandmother is shocked (she speaks the truth through the mouth of a baby), goes to church, lights candles,
prays and bows down. Returns, and there is still the same song, pray and repent and pray and repent. The child is already all in tears, the grandmother is in a faint. Everything became clear when the parents returned. The girl asked to put her a cartoon Kid and Carlson, she just spoke poorly.

Mom gathers her son for a hike:
- Here I put you butter, bread and a kilogram of nails.
- But why?
- It is clear why! Spread butter on bread and eat!
- And the nails?
- Well, here they are, put it!

Mom, what is pi?
- Well, it's math. Then you will teach. Where did you hear?
- Yes, the rhyme is: "And day and night, the scientist cat keeps walking around. And pi around."

10-year-old Polina looks at her newborn brother. The boy has already begun to react to the faces of those close to him. He looks closely at his sister and suddenly smiles broadly. Polina notes with satisfaction:
- Of course he smiles at me. You are adults, and I am a children's team.

5-year-old Maxim and his 4-year-old little sister Alisa eat cabbage salad. After the meal, the boy turns to Alice:
- Well, today at afternoon tea we were just like goats.
“No,” the girl corrects him. - There is only one goat. And I am a bunny.

Cyril, 6, watches with interest as his father climbs a ladder to paint the frames. At this moment, the mother approaches the child and says:
“When you grow up, sonny, you can help your dad.
After a little reflection, Cyril asks: - Isn't dad finished painting by that time?

4-year-old Anton walks into a subway car with his dad at rush hour.
- Well, let's see if people have a conscience? - says the child out loud.
- What is it like? - the father asks.
- Will they give way to a man with a child, or, as usual, lower their eyes, - explains the son.

3.5-year-old Panya is present when her mother speaks with the local pediatrician. The doctor, having examined the older brother of the girl, advises: - If the temperature rises, rub it with vodka. - Vodka? - Panya is surprised. - We don't have vodka. Dad drank all the vodka.

9-year-old Vasya is returning with his mother from a store where two packs of cookies have just been bought.
“Each pack contains six cookies,” Vasya says aloud. - It turns out twelve. The family has three children. That's four cookies per child ...
Upon entering the apartment, Vasya sees three pairs of boots from his older brother's classmates.
“Mom, just don’t tell me that twelve is divisible by six,” Vasya says with anguish. - This is beyond my strength.

As a child, we didn't bother about how to dress - all the clothes for us were bought by our parents. And now you look at children's photos and you realize that our parents weren’t too bothered about how to dress us ...

Seryozha falls from his bed at night. Mom runs up to him:
- Seryozhenka, what did you hit?
- A bedside rug.

4 year old Allochka says:
- Uncle Kolya, I love you so much that I would have ripped your legs off.
- What are you, Allochka! Why?!
- And then you would be small and always play with me.

The boy sat in a tree and cried:
- Take me off, take me off ...
And he was very lucky, because in the park where the tree stood, there were many kind people with cameras.

2-year-old Danilka, after a dozen of heard tales, is clearly overloaded with information:
- And my dad and I saw there in the picture the Swan Princess. She was sitting and spinning by the window. And she's not a frog!

The granddaughter asks:
- Granny, how old are you?
- Sixty.
- Show it on your fingers!

3 year old Ksenia at the zoo:
- Why do lions live in the desert?
“They have nowhere else to live.
- And what, in the zoo all the cells are occupied?

We drive up to the house by car. A two-year-old nephew emphatically declares:
- Uncle Zhenya, but I know where to go here ...
- Where, Sasha?
- Straight!

4-year-old Fedor tries to chew a peach pit for several minutes in a row.
- Son! - tries to stop his father. - Bones must be broken with a stone or hammer. You can break all your teeth like that.
- Well, let them, - answers Fyodor, - will grow iron, like our uncle Grisha.

I was in China. While there was an excursion, a Chinese boy of about 3 years old was running in front of our group, neighing loudly, rolling on the ground and chatting something on his own.
At our request, the guide translated, he yelled: "Fuck, all on one face, eyes like a cow!"

Maxim's father decided to tell the truth about Santa Claus and other fairy-tale characters.
- So, son, - the frank dad begins, - in fact, Santa Claus is not. All these years I played his role, and my mother and I bought you gifts ...
- I know, dad, - Maxim interrupts his father. - And you were also a stork, my mother confessed to me.

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