How to remember the dead correctly: questions and answers

What days are the dead commemorated? Can a suicide funeral be performed? How to pray for departed parents? Archpriest Igor FOMIN answered the most common questions about how to remember the dead correctly.

What prayer to remember the dead? How often to commemorate the departed?

Christians commemorate the dead every day. In every prayer book, you can find prayer for the dead, it is an integral part of the home prayer rule. Also, the departed can be remembered by reading the Psalter. Every day Christians read one kathisma from the Psalter. And in one of the chapters, we commemorate our relatives (relatives), friends, who have departed to the Lord.

Why commemorate the dead?

The point is that life continues after death. Moreover, the final fate of a person is decided not after death, but after the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, which we are all waiting for. Therefore, before the second coming, we can still change this fate. When we are alive, we can do it ourselves, doing good deeds and believing in Christ. Having died, we can no longer influence our own afterlife, but this can be done by people who remember us, who have a heartache. The best way to change the posthumous fate of the deceased is to pray for him.

When are the dead commemorated? What days are the dead commemorated? What time of day can you commemorate?

The time of day when you can remember the deceased is not regulated by the Church. There are folk traditions that go back to paganism and clearly prescribe how and at what hour to remember the dead - but they have nothing to do with Christian prayer. God lives in space without time, and we can reach heaven at any moment of the day or night.
The Church has established special days of commemoration of those who are dear to us and have departed into another world - the so-called Parental Saturdays. There are several of them in a year, and all but one (May 9 - Commemoration of the departed soldiers) have a rolling date:
Meat Saturday (Ecumenical Parent Saturday) March 5, 2016.
Saturday of the 2nd week of Great Lent, March 26, 2016.
Saturday of the 3rd week of Great Lent, April 2, 2016.
Saturday of the 4th week of Great Lent on April 9, 2016.
Radonitsa May 10, 2016
May 9 - Commemoration of the departed warriors
Saturday Trinity (Saturday before the holiday of Trinity). June 18, 2016.
Saturday Dimitrievskaya (Saturday before the day of memory of Dmitry Solunsky, which is celebrated on November 8). November 5, 2016.
In addition to Parental Saturdays, the deceased are commemorated in the church at every service - at the proskomedia, part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. Before the Liturgy, you can submit memorial notes. The note contains the name with which the person was baptized, in the genitive case.

How is it remembered for 9 days? How is it remembered for 40 days? How to commemorate for six months? How to remember for a year?

The ninth and fortieth days from the day of death are special milestones on the path from earthly life to eternal life. This transition does not occur immediately, but gradually. During this period (until the fortieth day), the deceased person gives an answer to the Lord. This moment is extremely important for the deceased, it is akin to childbirth, the birth of a little man. Therefore, during this period, the deceased needs our help. By prayer, good deeds, by changing oneself for the better in honor and memory of those close to us.
Six months - there is no such church commemoration. But there will be nothing bad if you remember for six months, for example, when you come to the temple to pray.
Anniversary is a day of remembrance when we - those who have loved a person - get together. The Lord has bequeathed to us: Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them (Matthew 18-20). And joint remembrance, when we read a prayer for relatives and friends who are no longer with us, is a bright, sonorous testimony before the Lord that the dead are not forgotten, that they are loved.

Should I commemorate my birthday?

Yes, I think that a person's birthday should be remembered. The moment of birth is one of the significant, great stages in everyone's life, so it will be good if you go to the temple, pray at home, go to the cemetery to remember the person.

Can a suicide funeral be performed? How to remember suicides?

The question of the funeral service and church commemoration of suicides is very controversial. The fact is that the sin of suicide is one of the grave ones. This is a sign of a person's distrust of God.
Each such case must be considered separately, because suicides are different - conscious or unconscious, that is, in a state of severe mental disorder. The question of whether it is possible to perform a funeral service and commemorate in a church a baptized person who committed suicide lies entirely with the responsibility of the ruling bishop. If a tragedy happened to one of your loved ones, you need to come to the ruling bishop of the region where the deceased lived and ask permission for the funeral service. The bishop will consider this question and give you an answer.

As for home prayer, you can certainly remember the person who committed suicide. But the most important thing is to do good deeds in his honor and memory.

How can you remember? Can you remember it with vodka? Why are they commemorated with pancakes?

Feasts, memorial meals, have come to us from time immemorial. But in ancient times they looked different. It was a treat, a feast not for the relatives of the deceased, but for the beggars, cripples, orphans, that is, those who need help and would never be able to arrange such a meal for themselves.
Unfortunately, over time, funeral feast turned from a deed of mercy into an ordinary home feast, and often with an abundant use of alcohol ...
Of course, such libations have nothing to do with real Christian commemoration and cannot in any way affect the posthumous fate of the deceased.

How to remember an unbaptized person?

A person who did not want to unite himself with the Church of Christ, naturally, cannot be remembered in the church. His posthumous fate remains at the discretion of the Lord, and here we cannot influence the situation in any way.
Unbaptized relatives can be remembered by praying for them at home and doing good deeds in their honor and memory. Try to change your life for the better, be faithful to Christ, remembering all the good things that the one who died unbaptized did in his life.

How are Muslims remembered? How are Jews remembered? How are Catholics remembered?

In this matter, it makes no difference whether the deceased was a Muslim, a Catholic or a Jew. They are not in the bosom of the Orthodox Church, therefore they are remembered as unbaptized. Their names cannot be written in notes on the proskomedia (proskomedia is a part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it), but in their memory you can do good deeds and pray at home.

How to commemorate the dead in the church?

In the church, all those who have died are commemorated who combined themselves with the Church of Christ in the Sacrament of Baptism. Even if a person for some reason did not go to church during his life, but was baptized, he can and should be remembered. Before the Divine Liturgy, you can submit a note “for a proskomedia”.
Proskomedia is a part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. At the proskomedia, bread and wine are prepared for the future Sacrament of Communion - the laying of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. It not only prepares the future Body of Christ (the Lamb is a large prosphora) and the future Blood of Christ for the Sacrament (wine), but also reads a prayer for Christians - living or dead. For the Mother of God, the saints and us, ordinary believers, particles are removed from the prosphora. Pay attention when you are given a small prosphora after Communion - it is as if "someone has picked a piece out of it." It is the priest who removes particles from the prosphora for each name written in the note "on the proskomedia."
At the end of the Liturgy, pieces of bread, symbolizing the souls of living or dead Christians, are immersed in a cup with the Blood of Christ. The priest at this moment reads the prayer "Washed, Lord, the sins of those who were remembered here by Thy Blood through the Honest prayers of Thy saints."
Also, special memorial services are held in churches - memorial services. You can submit a separate note for the memorial service. But it is important not only to submit a note, but also to try to be personally present at the service where it will be read. You can find out about the time of this service from the ministers of the temple, to whom the note is submitted.

How to remember the dead at home?

In every prayer book, you can find prayer for the dead, it is an integral part of the home prayer rule. Also, the departed can be remembered by reading the Psalter. Every day Christians read one kathisma from the Psalter. And in one of the chapters, we commemorate our relatives (relatives), friends, who have departed to the Lord.

How to remember in fasting?

During fasting, there are special days of remembrance of the departed - Parental Saturdays and Sundays, when full (as opposed to shortened on other days of fasting) Divine Liturgies are served. During these services, a proskomedian commemoration of the dead is performed, when for each person a piece is taken out of a large prosphora, symbolizing his soul.

How to commemorate the newly departed?

From the first day of a person's repose, the Psalter is read over his body. If the deceased is a priest, then the Gospel is read. The Psalter must continue to be read after the funeral - until the fortieth day.
Also, the newly departed is commemorated at the funeral service. The funeral service is supposed to be performed on the third day after death, and it is important that it is not carried out in absentia, but over the body of the deceased. The fact is that all those who loved a person come to the funeral service, and their prayer is special, conciliar.
You can also remember the newly departed as a victim. For example, to distribute to those in need his good, solid things - clothes, household items. This can be done from the first day after the death of a person.

When to remember your parents?

There are no special days in the Church when it is necessary to remember exactly the parents, those who gave us life. Parents can always be remembered. And on Parental Saturdays in church, and every day at home, and giving notes "for proskomedia." You can turn to the Lord any day and hour, He will surely hear you.

How to remember animals?

It is not customary to remember animals in Christianity. The Church's teaching says that eternal life is prepared only for man, since only man has the soul for which we pray.

The man did not die - he just went out ...

The man did not die, he just went out ...
He left everything in the house as it is ...
He just does not see and does not hear,
He no longer has earthly bread ...

He just became not like people,
He opened another ... astral path ...
Where is another life ... another wisdom
Where is the other salt ... the other essence ...

The bookmark will remain in the book
On the page about his love ...
There is a note on the table ... very briefly:
"Remember, but only ... not a call and ..."

The man didn't die ... just walked out
And opened the air bridges
Between the shores of a past life
And another invisible feature ...
Elena Gromtseva.

Death is the transition of a person into eternity, the beginning of a new life. For a person, the time of exploits, spiritual struggle, the cleansing of the soul from sinful filth is coming to an end. The time has come for reward. Man has to meet face to face with the Creator. It depends on how a person lived on earth whether his soul is capable of receiving the eternal bliss of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whether she washed herself in the waters of repentance during her lifetime, or did she indulge in sins and vices. Earthly life affects eternal destiny. After the separation of the soul from the body, only the living can help the deceased. Therefore, the Holy Church established the rite of commemoration of the departed. Living people, relatives and friends of the deceased, should pray as often as possible for the salvation of his soul. The commemoration is done primarily for common prayer. You can pray both at home and in the temple.

The days of special commemoration of the deceased are the third and ninth days after death, forty days, anniversary, birthday and name day of the deceased. There are also six months' commemoration. You can remember for six months at a common meal, which is done for the relatives and friends of the deceased, you can also feed the beggars. On fasting days, food should be lean, on ordinary days, fast. There should be no alcohol at the commemoration. Before the meal, you need to pray: you need to read "Our Father" and sing "Eternal Memory". During the meal, you can remember the deceased. If it is not possible to make a common meal, you can distribute small treats or some kind of memorable thing (a scarf, dishes, etc.) to those who are commemorating. It is very important to do charity - to help the poor with a request to pray for the departed.

You can commemorate the deceased in the Orthodox Church, at the Divine Liturgy. For the commemoration, the magpie is ordered - this is the commemoration of the deceased at the Divine Liturgy for forty days. The commemoration in the temple can be performed for a longer period - six months, a year. You can order a commemoration at the proskomedia. Proskomedia is the first part of the liturgy, during which bread and wine are prepared for the sacrament of Communion. By being present at the Divine Liturgy, the relatives of the deceased can take communion and confess. At the same time, particles are removed from the prosphora (special bread that is baked for the service of the liturgy) for the living and for the dead. There are special prayer chants for the departed - memorial service and lithium (in this case, the type of lithium read about the repose of the soul of the deceased is meant). You can read the prayers for the dead at home, in front of the icons.

For the funeral service, you can invite a priest - home or at the cemetery. The memorial service and the litiya can also be served by the laity, while the prayers that the priest usually pronounces are omitted. The funeral service and litiya for the laity can be found in the Orthodox prayer book. You can remember for six months by reading the Psalter for the dead. Relatives of the deceased can read it at home; you can also invite a clergyman home to read the psalter. It should be noted that it is customary to read the gospel about dead priests instead of the psalter. Not everyone organizes the half-year funeral. But it must be remembered that the prayerful help of the living is very important for the deceased. It is necessary to pray for deceased relatives and friends throughout life.

And eternal shelter. Memorial service, according to Orthodox traditions, is held on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days. And then for six months and the anniversary of his death. This is done so that the rested person can calmly meet with the Lord and find peace. How to remember six months from the day of death? This question arises before many people, since not everyone remembers 6 months of a person's repose.

As a rule, commemoration is, first of all, prayers and memories of all the good deeds of the deceased. In order to make it easier for the soul to be in the world of the dead, you need to turn with prayer speeches to the intercessors, then the Lord will help ease the torment of sinners.

1. As soon as six months have passed since the death of a person, you should get up early, light a candle or an icon lamp in front of the image. Place a photograph of the deceased next to it. Pray calmly for the salvation of the soul.
2. Come to church before the service begins, buy a candle and put it on for the peace of the soul.
3. It is best to order a special ceremony by submitting a note with your name. Listen to the entire liturgy from beginning to end.
4. It is advisable that the one who remembers takes the sacrament. From prosphora, a special loaf, 2 pieces are taken, which symbolize life and death.
5. Take another candle in advance and visit the grave of the deceased. Although many believe that this is optional.
6. Light a candle and place it on the grave.
7. Have breakfast with the soul of the deceased. Taste some of the food that you brought with you and place some on the grave mound. It is believed that the soul of the deceased is near, and she will be pleased to be with you. Remember that if the date falls on fasting, you can only eat plant foods.
8. Pray before the grave and invite everyone who came with you to the memorial table.

Before you sit down at the table, you must perform a litiya (funeral service). If there are no clergy among those invited, any Orthodox person can read the prayer. Then everyone who participates in the commemoration must say "Our Father ...".

Decorate the table with sprigs of coniferous trees and tie mourning ribbons. Place a photograph of the deceased on the table.

Next, you should serve the first course - sweet kutya. It is made from boiled white rice with the addition of honey, raisins or nuts. Sometimes rice is replaced with wheat. The prepared kutya must be consecrated in the church or sprinkled with holy water on it.

Start your main meal. You should behave yourself at the table. You need to eat and drink with the obligatory mention of the name of the deceased. You can tell stories about his good deeds in the world, read poems. There is no need to say bad things about a person. Remember that alcohol is prohibited at the commemoration, even if the deceased himself was a fan of such drinks.

When a new dish is served, one should say the words: "Rest, Lord, the soul of your Servant ...".

Main dishes for the commemoration:

• pancakes;
• borscht or mushroom soup;
• buckwheat;
• pies with fish, potatoes, pumpkin, mushrooms;
• jelly;
• compote from dried fruits or berries.

After everyone has eaten, the prayer should be read again. It is not customary to thank the hosts for the prepared lunch.

It happens that it is not possible to assemble the memorial table. In this case, you can take some small things (cups, handkerchiefs, spoons), food and distribute to those in need with a request to remember the slave (name). It is very important to give alms. In this case, God will be gracious both to you and to the resting soul of your loved one.

Sometimes you can just put together a table for the poor and old people who need shelter and food, then their prayers will quickly reach the Lord.

Remember that Wednesday and Friday are fast days, so the menu should be composed only of lean foods. If suddenly half a year falls on the week of Great Lent, it is more expedient to postpone the commemoration to the weekend, Saturday or Sunday.

There are cases in life when the church refuses to commemorate the dead. The most common reason for this refusal is the unauthorized departure from life. Suicides cannot be ordered to order a requiem and commemorate them in church. They are prayed for in a special way. There is even a special akathist for suicides. Voluntary withdrawal from life also includes death from drug overdose.

Not all Orthodox people gather for six months, but it is worth remembering that you should constantly pray for relatives who have gone to another world, then the soul of the deceased will be calm. After all, prayer is the only way to the salvation of the soul, and those who have already reposed in another world cannot do this, therefore only relatives and friends can help sincere and.

How to remember six months from the date of death is a purely personal matter. But all Orthodox Christians need to observe the basic rules of commemoration, to know how to set the memorial table.

The hour is coming when the remains of the deceased are buried, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the mother of the Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry up. On certain days, she prays for the deceased and makes a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of remembrance are the third, ninth and fortieth (the day of death is considered the first). The commemoration these days is sanctified by an ancient church custom. It is consistent with the Church's teaching on the state of the soul behind the grave.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her through those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house in which the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul walks to the places in which it used to create the truth. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. Therefore, the ecclesiastical commemoration of the soul that has appeared before the Just One is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine ranks of the angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the departed.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their unspeakable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. During this time, the soul forgets the grief that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasure of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How much I got bored in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, in order to merit this grace and glory. Alas for me, poor! " On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present their souls to Him for worship. The soul awaits with fear and trembling before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to establish the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time required for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. Prophet Moses was honored to converse with God on Mount Sinai and receive from Him the tablets of the law only after forty days of fasting. The Israelites reached the Promised Land after a forty year journey. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a foundation, the Church established to commemorate commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the departed ascended to the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be granted the sight of God, attain the blessedness promised to her, and settle in heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of stay until the Last Judgment. Therefore, church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They atone for the sins of the deceased and asks his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The reason for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed feasts are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always celebrated with at least a heartfelt commemoration of his loving family and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

UNIVERSAL PANIKHIDS (PARENT SATURDS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away in faith from time immemorial, who have been vouchsafed a Christian death, as well as those who, being caught in a sudden death, were not admonished to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The requiems performed at the same time, indicated by the charter of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Meat Saturday. Dedicating a meat-empty week to commemorating the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for its living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all kinds, titles and states, especially those who have died a sudden death. , and prays to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the dead on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all those who have died in the faith. And communication with them through prayer, their prayerful remembrance is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost in view of the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of man's salvation, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending prayers at Pentecost for the revitalization of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast, so that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul lives ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church devotes to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. Saint Basil the Great, who composed the touching prayers of Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord especially on this day delights in accepting prayers for the dead and even for "those who are held in hell."

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th week of Holy Forty days. On the Holy Forty Day - the days of Great Lent, spiritual exploits, exploits of repentance and goodness to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace, not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemorations of those who have departed from real life on the appointed days. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church for the commemoration of the departed also for the reason that on the weekdays of Great Lent there is no memorial service (this includes memorial litanies, litias, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, magpie), since every day there is no complete liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the dead is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the salvific intercession of the Church in the days of the Holy Forty-ness, and the indicated Saturdays are allocated.

Radonitsa. The basis for the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after Thomas week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the memory of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. after Holy and Bright Weeks, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their relatives and friends with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence, the very day of remembrance is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).

Unfortunately, in Soviet times, the custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of their loved ones after fervent prayer for their repose in the temple - after the funeral service served in the church. During the Easter week, there are no funerals, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Easter week, funeral litanies are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), there are no memorial services.

CHURCH REMEDIES SERVICES

It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days of commemoration, but also on any other day. The main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians is performed by the Church at the Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the beginning of the liturgy (or the night before), notes with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). At the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be removed from the prosphora, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy bowl and washed in the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest benefit that we can provide to those who are dear to us. Here is how it is said about the commemoration at the liturgy in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but who repented even before being separated from real life, only did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayer vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in actions of love for God and their neighbors) - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer punishment for their sins, without losing hope of relief. They receive relief by the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and beneficence performed for the dead, and especially by the power of the bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergyman brings for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic and Apostolic Church brings daily. "

An eight-pointed Orthodox cross is usually placed at the top of the note. Then the type of commemoration is indicated - "On repose", after which the names of those commemorated in the genitive case are written in large, legible handwriting (to answer the question "who?" schema-abbot Savva, archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrey, Nina).

All names must be given in the church script (for example, Tatiana, Alexia) and in full (Michael, Lyubov, not Misha, Lyuba).

The number of names in the note does not matter; it is only necessary to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more attentively. Therefore, it is better to submit a few notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.

By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of a monastery or temple. For the avoidance of confusion, please remember that the difference in prices (registered or plain notes) only reflects the difference in the amount donated. Nor should you be embarrassed if you have not heard the mention of the names of your relatives in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place at the proskomedia when removing particles from the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your memorial and pray for your loved ones. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on that day takes part in the Body and Blood of Christ.

After the liturgy, a panikhida can be served. The requiem is served before the eve - a special table with a crucifixion and rows of candlesticks. Here you can leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of the deceased loved ones.

It is very important after death to order a magpie in the church - a continuous commemoration during the liturgy for forty days. At the end of it, the magpie can be ordered again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (while the monastery is standing) commemoration or for commemoration while reading the Psalter (this is an ancient Orthodox custom). The more temples prayer is offered, the better for our neighbor!

It is very useful to donate to the church on memorable days of the deceased, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve, you can bring sacrificial food. You can't just bring meat food and alcohol on the eve (except for church wine). The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle, which is placed on his repose.

Realizing that the most that we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of remembrance at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and perform deeds of mercy.

Remembrance of the Deceased at Home Prayer

Prayer for the dead is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need, by and large, neither a coffin, nor a grave monument, much less a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious. But the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer, for it cannot itself do good deeds with which it would be able to propitiate the Lord. Home prayer for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox Christian. Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says this about prayer for the dead: “If the all-perceiving Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this mean that it is still allowed to throw the rope, although it is not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and perhaps often, salvific for souls who have fallen away from the shores of temporary life, but have not reached the eternal abode? Saving for those souls who hover over the abyss between bodily death and the last judgment of Christ, now rising by faith, now immersed in deeds unworthy of it, now rising by grace, now descending by the remains of damaged nature, now ascending by divine desire, now entangled in rough, not yet completely stripped off the clothes of earthly thoughts ... "

Home prayer commemoration of a deceased Christian is very diverse. One should especially earnestly pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section "Reading the Psalter for the Dead", during this period it is very useful to read about the deceased Psalter, at least one kathisma a day. You can also recommend reading the akathist about the repose of the dead. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for departed parents, relatives, known and benefactors. To do this, the following short prayer is included in the daily morning prayers:

Prayer for the departed

Rest, O Lord, the souls of the departed, Thy servant: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is more convenient to read the names from the memorial - a small booklet where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom of keeping family commemorations, reading which Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their deceased ancestors by name.

Memorial Meal

The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an excuse for relatives to get together, discuss news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians should pray for the dead at the memorial table.

Before a meal, a litiya should be performed - a short rite of a requiem that can be performed by a layman. In extreme cases, you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer "Our Father". The first dish eaten at the commemoration is kutia (k € olivo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains are a symbol of the resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the statute, kutia should be consecrated with a special rite during the requiem; if there is no such possibility, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.

Naturally, the desire of the owners is to treat everyone who came to the commemoration more deliciously. But you need to observe the fasts established by the Church, and eat the permitted food: on Wednesday, Friday, during long fasts - do not eat a modest one. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is transferred to the next Saturday or Sunday before that.

It is necessary to refrain from wine, especially from vodka, at the memorial meal! The dead are not remembered with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and commemoration is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who can suffer severely in the afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that "drunken" commemorations often turn into an ugly gathering at which the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the table “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.

On the contrary, there are godly customs worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the first to sit down at the memorial table are the poor and the poor, children and old women. They can also distribute the clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of certification from the afterlife about the great help to the departed as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to start living the life of an Orthodox Christian.

Thus, one living archimandrite tells the following incident from his pastoral practice.

“It happened in the difficult post-war years. A mother, tears of grief, comes to me, the rector of a village church, at whom her eight-year-old son Misha drowned. And she says that Misha dreamed about her and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I say to her: "And what is his clothes left?" - "Yes, sure". - "Give it to Mishin's friends, they will probably come in handy."

A few days later, she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was wearing exactly the clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked him, but now he complained of hunger. I advised to make for the village children - friends and acquaintances of Misha - a memorial meal. No matter how difficult it is in a difficult time, what can you not do for your beloved son! And the woman, as she could, treated the children.

She came the third time. She thanked me very much: "Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and satisfying, only my prayers are not enough." I taught her about prayers, advised her not to leave the works of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, as much as she could and helped orphans, the poor and the poor. "