The funniest

Early morning in the village, the usual family mother, son and father without feet,

Early morning in the village, the usual family mother, son and father without feet, who lost in war. The son is going to hunt, takes a gun, the cartridge, here the Bath will lie down and says:
- Son, take me to the hunt, really want!
- Dae, yes, how I'll take you, you have no legs, what is the benefit of you?
- And you set me to the backpack behind your back, and if you suddenly see to the bear, you shoot it - you won't get to him, and I will kill him with one shot, you know myself - I shoot a protein in the eye from 100 meters! So home mining will bring that it will eat in winter.
The son thought-thought and says - Okay, to fight, went.
They go through the forest, the father in the backpack is sitting here and here to meet a bear. The son shoots, does not fall, it shoots again - again the misses, turns his back, the Bath shoots - also waves, again - again - once again. The bear is already on them, well, the son as will give Dera, and the time I scream - they melt faster, catch up! For an hour already, there is no strength, the son understands that they will not run away from Bathi - both will disappear, I decided to reset the backpack and runs further.
Resorts all the stuffed home and says Mother:
- Mother, we have more than my father ... - with tears in the eyes.
Mother calmly puts a frying pan, turns to him and says:
- How did I have with my hunt Zheb @ Lee, then the babe 10 minutes ago on my hands came running, said that there is no more Son!

Called a man at work on corporate party, allowed to come

They called a peasant at work on corporate parties, allowed to come with their wives, the corporate was the themed - Masquerade, it was necessary to come in costumes, with masks. It was said - Made, they already gathered before going out, and his wife had a head, says "Go without me, and I'm still at home" - and herself came up with a tricky plan - to follow a man, how he will behave on Masquerade, pester From accounting or get used at all. Before going out, the costume changed, comes and sees like her hubby - then it dances with one, then another is knots, guard! She decided to check - how much he would go further, invited him to the dance, dancing and whisper to him on the eye: - It can alone ...
They retired, made their affairs, the wife went home quickly. The husband came a little later, she decided to ask him:
Well - what? How do you corporate?!
M - yes boredom gray, we decided to play poker with men, and in front of it, Petrovich, the boss asked for the costumes with him, because he was his dirty, so it was lucky, imagine, some woman in w @ pp Dala!

The son comes up to his father and asks: - Batya, and what is

The son is suitable for his father and asks:
- Bath, and what is a virtual reality?
Daja thinking a little telling her son:
- Son to give you an answer to this question, go to my mother, grandmother and grandfather, but ask them they could sleep with African for 1 million dollars. It is suitable for mom and asks:
- Mom, would you be able to sleep with an African for 1 million dollars?
- Well, son, it's not cunning, and we need money, of course I could!
Further comes to your grandmother with the same question, the grandmother answers him:
- Of course, granddaughter! If I had a million dollars, I would have lived as many years old !!!
It is a quest queue, grandfather replies:
- Well, in fact, it is not considered once, so of course - yes, on this million we would build a house by the sea, but I would finally go from grandmother!
Returns back the son to his father with the results, and his father says:
- Here you see a son, in virtual reality we have three million dollars, and in the real reality - 2 is simple # thenki and one PID @ R # s!

The girl invited a guy to visit, romantic, all things. A W.

The girl invited a guy to visit, romantic, all things. And at this moment the belly has twisted, it's just no strength to endure. They comes to her in the apartment and the girl says:
- You come in, do not be shy, pass to the room, and I now go to the bathroom - Noska Popper ...
The guy somehow was uncomfortable to ask her ahead, I decided to suffer, although there was no strength. It goes into the room, looks - the dog is big such sitting. I took and dulled in the room, and it thinks that everything will fall on the dog, and the time is pleased to drink tea in the kitchen.
The girl with the bathroom comes out and he asks:
D: What are you not going to the room?
P: Yes, there is a big dog, I'm afraid of her.
D: found someone to scare, she plush ...
P: We needed, but I looked like a real!

Perestroika, collective farms slowly fucked, all gathered

Perestroika, the collective farms slowly fade, all animals in the livestock gathered and discuss their further fate.
The first were bulls, they say: it is necessary to leave here until the hoofs are intact. The roof is already in the hangar, which is not raining, so we swim like ducks. Further, the pigs are: normal feed has not been ate 100 years old, all rotten straw, the water is given every three days. It is impossible to live so much, you need to dump. All other animals supported: yes, yes, enough to endure it and went. One ball is sitting on the spot, he is all asked:
- Ball, what are you sitting?! Come with us!
The ball replies:
- Yes, no, I will not go with you I have a prospect!
Animals:
- What is the prospect? You die here with hunger!
Ball:
- No, guys, I have a prospect here!
Animals:
- Well, what is your prospect, get sick, fluttering and dreaming one here!
Ball:
- Do not guys, I have a prospect ...
Animals:
- What is the prospect?!?!?!
Ball:
- I heard here that the owner said the owner "... if so things go further, then all winter will suck the ball ..."

New jokes

Husband runs home and tells his wife - Wife, urgently, we have

The husband runs home and says his wife - the wife, urgently, we will have guests in half an hour, I called our chief to go home! Wife:
- Are you crazy?! We have nothing to eat!
- Well, understand something, you must definitely do something, because tomorrow will be distributed to money, who is salary to raise!
- So we have nothing except soup and peas cans!
- So, listen carefully! When he comes to us, I will tell him that you made an awesome steak with a peas, and I've been to His soften my soften. And then you know the kitchen by randomly a plate and shouthing, which dropped steak and now it's in the garbage, you will have to serve only peas, you can not do anything.
Agreed, the boss came. His husband treats a moonshine, then yelling his wife:
- Wife! Turning steak!
The kitchen falls the plates, roar!
Husband:
- Well, what are you there? Surely steak in the garbage dropped?!
From the kitchen sobber:
- No, polka dot!

If these words in the proposal are input, then they are isolated. (For the features of the separation, see paragraphs 1 - 3). If the word can be removed from the sentence with the preservation of the meaning, then it is introductory. Also, it is also impossible to ask a question.

Compare:

First, you need to install the gearbox, secondly, stretch the belt, third, lubricate the gears? (Introductory words).

In the second ranks, it is always worse. (Definition with a pretext).

Features of the separation of input words

1. If the introductory word is at the beginning or at the end of a separate turnover, it is not separated from the turn. (For example, involved, consistent, comparative or application).

Mikhail went on the road first, bought a new card, secondly thoroughly thinking the route. (Conditional turns)

The guilty was especially honored by the guys, firstly showing courage, secondly helped their comrades. (Involvement of revolutions).

2. If the introductory word is in the middle of a separate turnover, it is allocated by commas on a general basis.

Mikhail went on the road having bought, first, a new card, secondly, thoroughly thinking the route.

3. Introductory words are separated from the previous writing union if the introductory word can be omitted or rearranged to another place of proposal without a violation of its structure (usually it happens under the unions " and"And" but"); If the withdrawal or permutation of the introductory word is impossible, then the comma after the union is not set (usually under the Union " but»).

He planned to leave today, but first, it was too late and, secondly, Rain began.

Nicholas wanted to have time for the evening, but, first, the screws ended, and secondlyLittle gasoline remained.

Firstly Secondly Thirdly…

introductory word

Allocated by punctuation marks, usually commas. For details on punctuation under introductory words, see Appendix 2. ()

There, firstly, discipline // Against our Laby. // And please, the picture: // here - the column, there is a crowd. A. Tvardovsky, Terkin on the world. The letter was really from Pety, a brief, but "suitable," as the judge said. Firstly, he explained why he did not come to the holidays: he was with an excursion in Leningrad. Secondly, he was amazed by my appearance in Enk and expressed heart feelings about this. Thirdly, he scary scared me for what I did not write, I did not seek him and generally "behaved like an indifferent horse." Fourthly in the envelope there was another letter, for Sani, and she laughed and said: "Here is a fool, I could simply attribute." V. Caveryin, two captains.

Penctuation Dictionary-Directory. - M.: Reference information Internet portal Gramota.ru. V. V. Swints, V. M. Pakhomov, I. V. Filatova. 2010 .

Watch what is "firstly / secondly / third ..." in other dictionaries:

See first / second / third ... ... Penctuation Dictionary

FIRSTLY - First, the introductory word. At first, first, the first one (the first member of the listing, in which the remaining members are consistently designated by the words: secondly, in third, etc.). Explanatory dictionary of Ushakov. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Explanatory Dictionary Ushakov

FIRST-HAND - Recognize, receive information and under. Directly, without intermediaries. It is understood that information, news, information and under. They are accurate, reliable deserving confidence. This is meant that a person or a group of united common ... ... Russian Language Phrase

Stand up to the first, second, third roosters. - Stand up to the first, second, third roosters. See the elements of the phenomenon ... IN AND. Dal. Proverbs of the Russian nation

FIRSTLY - NARCH. or numbers., First, first in advance, forever, first of all, at first, first; headed, mainly. First, always take care of others, and not about yourself. May, first, paper, second, feather, in Third Surguc, etc. First, I do not drink; In ... ... Explanatory dictionary of Daly

THIRD - Third, the introductory word. UPOTR. For the designation of the third item when listed. First, for the trip you need money, secondly, time and, thirdly, desire. Explanatory dictionary of Ushakov. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Explanatory Dictionary Ushakov

Drunkenness (alcoholism) and fighting him - P. is the unlimited consumption of all sorts of exciting and foaming substances and, in particular, alcoholic beverages. The influence of P. per person is extremely diverse, affecting not only the physical and mental nature, but, in significant ... ...

Drunkenness and fighting - (alcoholism) P. is the unlimited consumption of all sorts of exciting and foaming substances and, in particular, alcoholic beverages. The influence of P. per person is extremely diverse, affecting not only the physical and mental nature, but, in ... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary F.A. Brockhaus and I.A. Efron

Fighting alcoholism in the XIX century - Drunkenness (alcoholism) and the fight against it. Main article: Alcoholism Article based on materials of the encyclopedia of Brockhause F. A. and Efron I. A. (1890 1916) ... Wikipedia

Chapter 2. Changes in the menu of the daily and festive table in Russia over the last two centuries - In order to be at the level of solving any tasks of modernity, you need to know the story of every problem, know how the same issues that interest us are now in the past. Accounting for historical experience The basis of a strategy in activities ... Big culinary art encyclopedia

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Offers with the word "secondly"

We found 79 sentences with the word "secondly." Also see the synonyms "secondly".
Meaning of the word

• But grandma, first, adored her husband, and secondlywas the TERSK Cossack with an admixture of Georgian blood.
• Secondly, Stalin's position, and so the people are very durable, after the election could only grow.
• SecondlyJust understanding the "people" he instinctively did not want.
• SecondlyHe gathered all the designers to the meeting and, informing them about the decision of the Central Committee, offered to discuss all the details again.
• SecondlyHe always sympathized with Jewish dissidents and dissent from the intellectual environment.
• SecondlySince January 1, the state insurance of bank deposits on all accounts in the amount of up to $ 2,500 comes into force.
• Secondly, Hitler in 1940 in the midst of the battle for France had no means to influence Stalin.
• BUT secondly, these pretense we want to like the light, make the best impression on society, i.e.
• SecondlyPeter Fedorovich received as a newborn father, 60,000 rubles, which, of course, were more than necessary for him.
• SecondlyConsistent in case the rebellion fails: he defended those against.
• Secondly, Palace Conservatives from the nearest environments of the king Stolypin even more than the Bolsheviks and other socialists.
• Speaking in front of you before and after March 4, I always emphasized that, first, I do not promise miracles, and secondly, I will do everything in me.
• SecondlyFor us "Moms" and "Pope" clubs looked after.
• BUT secondly, buns were also followed.
• SecondlyAt least briefly highlight the political situation in the United States and England during the period when I was there.
• SecondlyThey do not want any territorial changes that are not consistent with the free contribution of interested peoples.
• Secondly, Psychiatrists of the Institute, and rather their owners, are so experienced that they would not be satisfied with this.
• SecondlyWe need electricity for future projects.
• SecondlyFor each question he is preparing specifically, while using all the accumulated investigative experience.
• SecondlyMedics every person with age report ever less and less comforting things.
• BUT, secondly, disagreements in the Habsburg Catholic camp between the Catholic Liga, Spain, the Empire and the Holy Throne are strengthened.
• First, now there was no time to indulge in experiences, and secondly"Hercules" greedily observed for the reaction of "Omfalai".
• SecondlyThe prison contains people who at least once rebelled against the law, against society, against the regime.
• SecondlyWhy would this be Beria, the military experience did not have, appointed the commander of the platoon guard of the Baku commune?
• SecondlyThis was one of the most secured segments of the population.
• Secondly, such a manifestation can be understood as the call of coving to white come to the aid, i.e.
• Secondly, reasonable and stable international order can be based only on respect for nations and national states.
• SecondlyHe was seen in ties with noble Spanish women.
• SecondlyWhen not enough money for business development.
• BUT secondlyHe did not consider it necessary to explain anything at all.
• BUT secondly, Because the question of influences is not so simple and is not solved so directly.
• First, Kuchbarskaya knew the material perfectly, secondlyEach of her speech at the department resembled a performance.
• Secondly, Putin does not worry foreign accounts.
• SecondlyI found a scientist with rare abilities and achievements.
• SecondlyProjects should provide a significant part of the money being spent directly to pay.
• BUT secondlyWhy did Pavlov before the arrest behaved like a traitor?
• Secondly, I think about the global constants and the essence of being (which, by the way, is also a time-consuming process).
• Secondly, I met a demichev several times, which at that time was the first secretary of MK.
• SecondlyI knew that only Koreans go to the "Oriental", but I didn't want to work with them.
• SecondlyIf the countries say from Columbus, really exist, then why did they not open them?
• And now there, first, instability, and secondlyI do not think that it is worth buying a purchase for the money that now want for the company.
• SecondlyThe operator must educate the desire and need to manage to work at the agent and actively work for exploration.
• SecondlyHe received for his work two pence per day (5 kopecks) and thus could already help her parents.
• BUT secondly, NEP at this time was in his full bloom.
• SecondlyIt was interesting to see how Americans treat it.
• Secondly, they were not focused on the "sudden strike", but on defense!
• SecondlyThe decision will be illegally and because the conference is not entitled to deprive someone delegate mandate.
• Secondly, Katerina Romanovna was at that time only fifteen, and the Great Princess already approached thirty.
• BUT secondlyWe responded for themselves to the question about prices and planks and realized that we are already talking about tens of billions in all tenders.
• Secondly, War of Denmark was declared in defense of the interests of Holt.
• Secondly, it was possible to set fire to this, however, the older guys were engaged).
• But, first, it is until time, and secondly, the interrogation did not give anything more determined.
• Secondly, I stopped panicly fear of communicating with guys and tried to just start a pleasant conversation.
• Secondly, November 24, the guard was ordered to make a campaign to the Vyborg, where military actions were held against the Swedes.
• SecondlyHow do you explain to her what is a "trump card"?
• SecondlyThe Kosovo campaign was considered from the very beginning and justified as "humanitarian intervention".
• SecondlyThe party-bureaucratic kabach, aimed at the world revolution, creates conditions under which it is impossible to work at all.
• Secondly, it was evident that he was tormented by something, something did not give him to be calm or cheerful.
• Secondly, it characterizes Merculov as a person.
• SecondlyWe are talking about the acceleration of the construction of the chain of stores and the reorganization of the logistics and procurement part of the business.
• But our hero imagine himself, first, by an outstanding statesman, and secondly, irresistible lover.
• Secondly, this is a decrease in trade barriers to resume the flow of sharing by food and industrial goods between countries.
• SecondlyAccording to contemporaries, monasticism in Russia often saved criminals from punishment.
• BUT secondlyAfter the bath, my mother and I went to the tabletops of the lane at the Cafe "Red Mac", where they ate sausages with a peas, drinking their troops!
• AND, secondlyIn one time I myself studied at school, similar to the one that Boris Black describes.
• Secondly (And it is put in the head of the history of the disease), prophesies: predicts that Nikita Sergeyevich will remove in the fall.
• Secondly, I always shone my men at all, and then I needed to dance before them.
• SecondlyThat is no less important, the French peasants still received enough land.
• But I soon bored to be on the second roles.
• I was on the second sleigh on which grenades and shops for large-caliber machine guns were brought.
• If you are very lucky (this is already my thought, but I think John Guld would subscribe under it), there will be more than the second.
• Antensed by the fact that his team is forced to be in second roles, Beria caused one of Dynamo coaches.
• By the end of the second day, he finally embarked out of his stream, the detachment was located on the rest under the cover of the night just five kilometers from the wells.
• Only one example: I did not have the second trousers.
• Nikiforova, who later held a long time at Makhno on the second roles, at that time he used much loudness than he.
• He returned or the same expensive, or by Panteleimonovsky by the second gate of the police department, to the main entrance, which is on the fountain.
• Secondly, to visit the places marked by crossbars and try to find out: is there any mysteries there?
• They were separated from the second and first barrier.
• This very division of children on loved ones and unloved should have spoiled first and deeply insult the second.

Source - introductory fragments of books with Litres.

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